• Like
Veil of Mysticism - Paths to enlightened Faith - Monika Petry
Upcoming SlideShare
Loading in...5

Thanks for flagging this SlideShare!

Oops! An error has occurred.

Veil of Mysticism - Paths to enlightened Faith - Monika Petry


Published by FROMM-Verlag …

Published by FROMM-Verlag
on 09th Nov. 2011
ISBN 978-3-8416-0236-7

You may read this book gratis, print out the text and load down the MP3-Files. Any modification of the text and the book is illegal as well as using this book for commercial purposes. The Copyright and related rights of FROMM publishes are to be respected. Thank you!

Published in Education
  • Full Name Full Name Comment goes here.
    Are you sure you want to
    Your message goes here
    Be the first to comment
    Be the first to like this
No Downloads


Total Views
On SlideShare
From Embeds
Number of Embeds



Embeds 0

No embeds

Report content

Flagged as inappropriate Flag as inappropriate
Flag as inappropriate

Select your reason for flagging this presentation as inappropriate.

    No notes for slide


  • 1. MONIKA PETRY VEIL OF MYSTICISM Paths to Enlightened Faith Published by FROMM-Verlag on 09th Nov. 2011 ISBN 978-3-8416-0236-7 – all Rights reserved –English Translation by Monika Petry and Lawrence Sartoriusof the German Original Book:SCHLEIER DER MYSTIK – Wege zum Erleuchteten Glauben,published on 7 July 2011 by FROMM-Verlag;ISBN: 978-3-8416-0165-0 1
  • 2. This is a book about the evolution of my Love for God and His HumanBeings, according to the descriptions of St. Teresa of Àvila as a Mystic andDoctor of the Church. Mysticism originally means the lighting up of themystery of life, the ultimate reality we call God.A Mystic sees itself as a long-distance walker who follows the call of Godand always moves forward in order to satisfy his longing. Through theperfection of his consciousness in Truth and Love, he becomes one withGod. This experience makes him happy and satisfied with the DivineProvidence. His confidence is always accompanied by a passion for Godand the acceptance of life. It is a way out of darkness into the Light.I also was longing for this all my life and walked forward steadily. I soughtGod, He found me, and since I am a wanderer between Heaven and Earth. Iwant to infect you with my Love for Him and the people. Now the time hascome. Let us lift the veil of mysticism.Brief Biography:Monika Petry, born November 1955, formerly a Protestant, clerk,translator/ interpreter. She was an atheist for 35 years and converted toCatholicism in 2009. Since her mystical transformation she gave over herlife completely to the Divine Providence. She is a Christian Healer andconcerned with religion and spirituality. 2
  • 3. ContentsIntroduction: St. Teresa of ÀvilaI. Absolute Trust - Basic TrustWhat does absolute Trust mean, and how do I get it?II. ProvidenceLife with Providence – a Life of Joy and DevotionProvidence rather than Wish-fulfilmentWhat is the Reaction of your Environment, if you turn to God?III. GODWho or what is God?Who or what are We?How do we find God?My God, why? – When we doubt and despairThe DoubtThe DespairIV. The Holy SpiritWho or what is the Holy Spirit?The Seven Gifts of the Holy Spirit (Charisma)The Twelve Fruits of the Holy SpiritThe Seven Consolations of the Holy Spirit 3
  • 4. V. JesusMy Path to JesusEncouraging Words of Jesus for YouVI. MaryBlessed Mother MarySister MaryVII. Enlightened FaithThe Light of God in ManMindfulness / Awareness / EnlightenmentThoughts and FeelingsVIII. PrayerThe Types of PrayerLevels of Inner PrayerIX. Forgiveness and LiberationSin, Repentance and PenanceX. Healing through Faith and PrayerThe biggest Secret of Healing 4
  • 5. XI. Humility“Take me as I am” or:My Path through the Needles EyeXII. From Love to EnlightenmentLoveDolorismEgoAwarenessEnlightenmentXIII. MysticismDo we need a new Mysticism?Nice Words from nice People: What is Mysticism?LiteratureAppendix: TransverberationThanks 5
  • 6. Introduction St. Teresa of ÀvilaTeresa Sanchez de Cepeda y Ahumada was born on 28 March 1515 inÀvila (Northwest of Madrid, in Castilla, Spain), her father was a Jewconverted to Christianity. To avoid the accusation of heresy, he accepted apeerage. Teresa enjoyed a strict upbringing. For fear of marriage, shefinally came in 1535 into the Order of Carmelites in Àvila. Her healthdeteriorated steadily, until she lay in a coma a year later and was buriedalmost alive. During her three years of convalescence, she had the firstmystical vision. The more she grew in her spirituality, her conditionbecame better. Through many trials, Teresa found her way to God andperfected her worship of Him. Her friendly nature, her natural authority andher female wisdom helped her along the path to her own monastery of theDiscalced Carmelite Foundation, a more severe form of the Order. Otherconvents of monks and nuns followed, overall, it was to amount toseventeen convents.Teresas life was a ceaseless development of intellectual maturity and innerstrength, at the end revealing the mysteries of the Trinity, and sheeventually found her Soul within the mystical marriage, the perfect unionwith God, her true peace. Teresa died on 4 October 1582. She left behindnumerous works: more than 400 letters, poems, documents for theInquisition about the trials of her confessors and the monastic foundationsand the spiritual gifts of her mystical experiences. She described hermaturation process of contemplation, transformation and enlightenment inher books “Way of Perfection”, “Book of my Life” and “The InteriorCastle”. 6
  • 7. The mystique of this woman is an expression of absolute and unconditionalLove for God and Man; humble and grateful joy. Her devotion to God wasmarked not only by this great Love, but characterized by an infinite trustand the willingness to everything, absolutely everything to accept whatGod had intended for her, always knowing that God meant well and hadtransformed her from a rough to a dazzling diamond.As had Saint John of the Cross and Saint Padre Pio, Teresa alsoexperienced the Transverberation, the transfixion of her heart. This event ispresented in the Appendix of this book. Teresa described it with greatsensuality. Her choice of words and the presentation of the transfixion ofher heart by the sculptor Lorenzo Bernini in a beautiful marble sculpture,had left the impression that it was Teresas way of expressing her eroticism.It was the finale of her Divine heart opening, which she experiencedphysically and mentally. On 4 July 1585 her coffin was opened – she wasfound to be undecayed. In 1614 followed her Beatification by the CatholicChurch, and on 12 March 1622, her Canonization. Pope Paul VI. appointedher on 27 September 1970 to Doctor of the Church. *I went over to Teresa of Àvila via Edith Stein, because on a large portrait ofEdith Stein something fascinated me that I had watched only for a shorttime upon myself, a dark dot on the forehead above the nose. It was aftermy own Catholic Confirmation in June 2009, when the Holy Spirit camewith great effect upon me. This Confirmation was a mystical experience,which I reflected on that day in a strong dazedness and the even stronger 7
  • 8. desire for quietness. During the next three days and nights a great changehappened within me. In retrospect, since that day everything becamedifferent.In the next few days, this impression was also visible externally by twovertical red lines on my forehead. They appeared whenever I connectedwith God, through prayers for others and for myself every day. These linesbecame stronger, as well as the Holy Spirit restructured and refined Hisgrace that He had given me. I was informed by a former healing client ofthe change on my forehead. For almost two months she came every dayand therefore had the opportunity to watch my progress. “Again there arethose lines on your forehead,” she often said after her treatment. Itreminded me of the Book of Revelation: “And they shall see His face, andHis name shall be on their foreheads.” (Rev.22, 4)One afternoon I visited the St. Marys Church in Bad Bergzabern to findrest and recharge. There was a large picture of Edith Stein. I stood beforeher and spoke to her. It took not long time and she began to glow, just asthe Virgin Mary is lit, when I am talking to her. So now I had becomeacquainted with Edith Stein, and thus I was interested in this woman andher story. I read some of it, but at that time it became too difficult to pursueat this stage in my life.Edith Stein died on 9 August 1942 in Auschwitz-Birkenau. Pope John PaulII blessed her in 1987 and Canonized her in 1998. “Blessed are they whichcame out of great tribulation, and have washed their robes and made themwhite in the blood of the Lamb” (Rev. 7:14). With these words Pope JohnPaul II began his oration at the Beatification of Edith Stein in Cologne1987. 8
  • 9. Edith Stein thus led me to her great Teacher and her role model: Teresa ofÀvila. When I read of her, I was captivated by her, and that has not changedsince. Teresa of Àvila had herself become one with God. She gave herselfentirely to be recreated by God. She was at the end to become a Being thathad refined and deified the Human condition to the highest possible level.This is a state of being that is accessible to all of us Humans on Earth. It isthe proverbial Heaven on Earth.From the worldly point of view considered, Teresa is through and through atrue woman, an enlightened woman. She was strong, intelligent, humorous,sensual, passionate and devoted. Somehow I found myself in her: Every-thing and nothing, never based on the opinion of others, but always at thetop, first and foremost, kind of involuntary, vaguely driven by my owninner strength as well as the strength of people with their Soul I amcombined; nevertheless in absolute loyalty and devotion and humilitybefore the One composing all my life: God.I was fascinated over Teresas writings! I then found the courage to liveeven today with a strong, powerful, dedicated, passionate and joyfulspirituality, and to confess to my own mysticism. Now I find that I want toserve my fellow Man with my Love for the Infinite Love of God. * “Get to make me as lovely as possible to others. I do not want to be a Saint – living with that would be so hard – but to become an old curmudgeon would instead be the crowning work of the Devil.” (Teresa of Àvila) * 9
  • 10. I. Absolute Trust – Basic TrustWhat does absolute Trust mean, and how do I get it?The universal, irrevocable and indestructible trust is the basic confidence ofall persons, endowed by our Creator within our brain stem. It is thewillingness of a Human’s innate devotion to his Creator and to his fellowmen identified as brothers. However, we have the basic trust to be activatedin our consciousness by mental awareness – in contrast to the primalinstinct laid down in the subconscious. It is closely related to the energy oflife, the affirmation of life and sexual power. An energetic, powerful personwho enjoys life and always says yes to life, has the basic confidence. If thisbasic trust is not given, the primal energy of life and the affirmation of lifeare missing, and he must always take from the outside and others the powerto live.The activation of basic trust is according to the in-depth psychology givenduring the first year of a child. In my experience, the seed is placed for thisalready in procreation: A welcomed baby begotten in deep Love anddevotion will always be a beloved child. Within this Love there is often ayear-long yearning for a child and the boundless joy when the woman isfinally pregnant. These feelings of longing, joy and Love are the energiesthat are never dissolving, they remain stored in the hearts of the parents andare transmitted to their child; this will be able to trust and love during all itslife, because that trust and Love is dwelling in itself. Therefore, thisconfidence is irrevocable and indestructible. It may be shaken by a strongdisappointment in the short term – but it will never be extinguished!Because it is always nourished by the Love of God, and this Love of God 10
  • 11. takes us through all difficulties as His consolations handle anydisappointment, allowing us to forgive and forget.An accident of parenthood will never know this deep Love, of course,even though it may also be loved, but it is another form that does notinclude those seeds of basic trust. My message to all those good “randomproducts” of parenthood: God has willed that you were conceived! He hasbrought together your parents. You are inscribed in the Book of Life ofyour mother and your father. Even if you were not planned: In theirsubconscious hidden depths, your parents knew it.If that was not quite enough to instill the basic trust, you can still learn andpractice it at any age. Perhaps you may never lose your distrust completely,but eventually it might prevent you from any stupidities.The best way to learn deep confidence is by believing in God. You can trustHim unconditionally. Then you can believe in yourself, and gradually openyourself to other faithful people. You then gain the confidence that thesepeople are serious about you and you will never be cheated by them. Ofcourse it applies to all people: They may come and go in our life. If youhave a tendency to cling to them, there is no fault if that person decides forgood reason to leave you. Trust means giving others the freedom to livetheir own life. There can be only so much overlap with another as Godintended it for you both and how you may need it to last in order to developtogether.Look confidently into the future, even if your life situation is uncertain. Dobelieve in God, then you know that this will help, you can then safely jump 11
  • 12. into the cold water. This is life within Providence. Surrender to the powerof life and to say: – “Maybe Im at a turning point in life.” – “Maybe I should lose this job because somewhere a better one is waiting for me.” – “Maybe I should go through with this disease, in order to learn from it and grow in my life.” – “Maybe I should ask for nothing, but just let Providence make it happen!”“So you simply let yourself drift like this and not even make a decision?”,Im sometimes asked. No, I do not let myself drift. Quite the contrary; I livemindfully, attentively, aware, empathetic and gazing intensely focused oneverything I do and others do around me. I watch, open myself, admit,surrender; I trust and know its good, everything is in Divine Order. Thatsthe freedom which I mean.Once a person engages in his own life path, he is closing his great Book ofLife written by God, and opens his own where he can romp with free will,that God has also made available to him. This becomes the Book ofDetours. He may be free to undertake countless detours, no question. But itis not his life. Of course we may make decisions and draw conclusions, wecan even turn the world upside down and begin each day as if it were thefirst day of our lives. The main thing is that we remain united to God, andto know our true Book of Life. We also assume the responsibility to do soand we must therefore take it on whole-heartedly. 12
  • 13. Imagine: God knows every hair on your head – so He already knows thenext step in your life. He knows your next Boss, your next home, your lifepartner, and He knows who your child is to be. “He looked at everythingHe had made, and behold, it was very good” (Genesis 1:31). And youknow: The Creation has never been completed. God creates in every day ofour lives. He therefore takes a second look at everything that He hascreated and He will always find everything to be good and correct.Provided we bring Him what we have received from Him, constantlypresent, so to speak, for inspection. “Look after that, does it still fit with mycurrent life or do we have to change something about it?” Let the energiesflow constantly, so that everything may adopt to your life, and never makethe mistake of being lazy and think: “Now, everything will stay the way itis.” This is a dangerous illusion. Just as every cell in our body is constantlychanging, so, too, everything around us must change and adjust. This isGod’s will and care for as long as we allow Him to work with us, becauseHe has already completed our major network of life long ago and updates itconstantly. So it is important not to rely too much on the advice of ourfriends and acquaintances or of the many professional life advisors.Ive also accompanied many people. Here I always try to make sure not todirectly alter their actions when they are seeking help. The solving andgoal-oriented support designated as coaching is ideal. Here I address my-self to your Soul. What does your Soul need, wherever does it take yourheart? This is telling me your subconscious, and I help you to perceive themessages of your Soul, to respect and implement your wishes into reality.You see it in nature: When Man intervenes, the climate goes out of balance.Or if he is deleting an animal species, that can have a huge impact on the 13
  • 14. entire animal kingdom. The farmer spraying his fields to keep out theweeds, is killing off the wild plants that serve as food for the insects, andthen the birds stay away, and so on. Once we begin to enforce things withour own mind without being connected to God, we not only bring ourselvesout of balance, but also our environment because we are not isolatedBeings.This carries over to our immediate environment and makes more and morecircles. When deciding on a new job, you are influencing your entire fami-ly, and, so to speak, you are re-mixing the cards for your future and thefuture of your family, your friends, your colleagues and in turn their future– and so it goes on endlessly. Rely on your inner voice that comes fromGod, and be ready for everything to come. He knows your Life’s Plan, onein which not only you are involved but all other people.Providing that you are not stuck in a time warp and may repeat your lifeover and over like the actor in the movie “Groundhog Day”, experiencingevery day the same scene over and over again until he becomes, throughhis self-education a better person, and finally one morning reaches a totallynew scene, so it will depend on you how you will come back to your Bookof Life. Here it will be written that you will meet on any given day a certainperson or a new job, which will lead your life in a determined direction.These events are already waiting for you.Which particular people did God probably write into your Book of Life?Think about situations that were somehow special, where you felt: nowGod has just laid the groundwork for a major new phase of my life. Whenyou first met your life’s Partner, for example, you probably felt you werenot just waiting simply for any Human that might come along, but for this 14
  • 15. particular person, this special Soul. You have your whole life long soughteach other unconsciously, until now you have found each other.What was your age when the most important people in your life came toyou or when your life changed? There is the well-known Rhythm of Sevenin our lives, that is, certain periods which can be divided into the SevenAges of life, where major changes will come to you. Each of those stagesof life can be coupled with a certain period: 0 – 7: Toddler 7 – 14: Child14 – 21: Puberty / education21 – 28: Study / family planning / career28 – 35: Profession / career / family35 – 42: Established profession42 – 49: Additional cultural activities49 – 56: Rearranging life to a new phase56 – 63: Reaping the seeds of life63 – 70: Retirement / Becoming wise and at easeThe rest depends on how you have imagined your life. If you were talkingconstantly of a retirement coming at the age of 65 years, it will very soonbe upon you, as you will have become used to this way of thinking. If youwere thinking: “I will die soon”, that will also soon become the case. Youwill be constantly living as if you were already dead. If on the other handyou take life in a relaxed way, you may reach a hundred years of age. In ourBook of Life the final day of our life is already written down. We candetermine through our thoughts how we achieve it, whether we feel young 15
  • 16. or old and used, whether we stay healthy or ill. For these life stages thecourse and the cornerstones are set.Of course we can ourselves make our own choice! Providing we alwaysremember that we are composed of a combination of Body, Mind and Soul,everything is fine. Then the Mind is bringing forth nothing he has notalready discussed with the Soul. And the Soul is united with God. Ideally,you are one with Jesus Christ. Ideally, the Holy Spirit is hovering aboveyou. As long as this ideal situation has not occurred, your Soul willdemonstrate this to you through so-called tragedies, bad luck, or by disease.Then you will again be given a chance to find God and also to be found byHim. You have the chance to find Jesus and Mary – God is very resourcefulwhen it comes to sending you His helpers. Maybe Im your helper with thisbook.Now we come back to the people in your Life’s Book. After all, some ofthese are the Divine helpers. In my Book of Life, there are some importanthelpers. By a helper I mean a person who helps us in a positive way. Somealso help by simply doing nothing so that we are encouraged to rely onourselves. However, there are also people who are shaking us up, who arehurting us at first glance, what – in retrospective – has put us back on track.So they are indeed helpers, even though they are people to whom we do notlike to look back upon and whom we also have to forgive in order to getahead. These helpers are not written in our Book of Life. They are in the“auxiliary books,” which we wrote for possible detours. They neverthelessare helping us back on to track in our Book of Life. 16
  • 17. Think about who caused harm to you very much in your life, and who hasreally hurt you. What did result from that, and how has it in effect changedyour life?Many people have one major upheaval in their lives. This is usually causedby a disease or affliction which can significantly change your life. In myown experience, after having made many consultations, this usually hap-pens between the 42nd and 49th years of age – and then it is often your lastwarning. So it was with me. I was 48 years old when I had strained thepatience of God to the point where He gave me a serious lesson. My then14 years old daughter and I lived together with our seven years old dog, acheerful and clever Border Collie named Timmi, and to this dog I owe mylife now. He sacrificed his life for me.More of this tragedy I will not enlarge upon, but it is enough to understandwhy it happened: I was not following my true Road of Life, nor did I nothave my plan of Salvation in sight. This was because at a young age I hadbanished God from my life, on the assumption that He had sent me toomany disasters in my family, too many losses through their having all diedor moved away. And the worst thing was: I somehow felt guilty for this,knowing that with my energy there was something wrong. I presumed that Iwas perhaps adversely affecting those around me by constantly giving outtoo much. Not in terms of the physical strength of my body, but an energythat you cannot easily identify, which is felt internally and constantlybubbling inside like a volcano. I just knew that I seemed to attract peoplewho had not long to live, people of all ages. 17
  • 18. Anyone who begins life with a near-death experience, finds a deep imprintof God. So it was with my birth. God showed me on a Sunday afternoon,exactly at 3 pm, at the time of St. Mary, His light and carried me back intolife which my parents and the midwife were fighting for at home and therest of my family was praying in church. This Light, which at that time Idid not consciously experience, but which is deeply imprinted in my sub-conscious, I searched for all my life and found it again at my CatholicConfirmation. The Holy Spirit enlightened me again, and it was all up withme.Perhaps this profound experience at birth was also the reason that when Iwas a young child I was considered as something as a prodigy in thematters of God and the Gospel. Mind you, as a Protestant child prodigy, asI was born into my Fathers Protestant household. It was thanks to myCatholic Mothers family, that the Angels and Saints were integrated intomy life. But where did my strength in the Bible come from? There was nota Bible passage that I did not know and could not quote, and of which eachwas cross-referenced with the Author and Chapter. As a result I put quite astress on my religious Teachers and Priests, as I also wanted to learn moreabout every reference and also to constantly discuss it.Already by that time I knew that this could not be the answer to everything,I was always aware that there had to be something more. I read and studiedand discussed, but no one spoke of the Love of God, and so no one reachedmy heart. This carried on up to my Protestant Confirmation at the age ofthirteen, – the priest handed me the Bread and the Wine – and somehow itwas over. The Holy Spirit had not ignited the great flame within me, butleft it as the small smoldering flame burning within me since birth. TheHoly Spirit preferred to wait for a later time in the knowledge that I must 18
  • 19. meanwhile undertake my “life experiences” on my own. Self-employed,alone, yet seeming to be knowing everything and capable of everything,with a big mouth and waving too many flags through lifes path and leavingnot a few traces of devastation behind me. Not many people did stand it! * “Im just a wretched woman.” (Teresa of Àvila) *So I walked through life for further 35 years without God, full ofconfidence in myself – I always had the basic trust that I have mentioned inthe beginning. God was certainly there, but I did not overly concern myselfwith Him. I had also always been fortunate. Of course it was not just luck,it was the Providence of God, coupled with my own skills that I workedwithin major German companies – I experienced their upheavals – and inbetween I emigrated once to Paris and a second time to Brittany, but only toreturn to Germany each time after a year recognising that French peoplealso put their pants in the same way and in Germany I could always findbetter work.This further trend continued: Wherever I went, I met people and situationsthat were in a transition stage or on the verge of difficulties. God made itimpossible to just settle down somewhere comfortably. I constantly foundmyself in a transitional situation, and became the expert in crisis manage-ment in every respect. When anyone needed to know what to do next, Icame into my peak performance. 19
  • 20. Seven years ago, time had come, my fate had struck. Before the turn achallenge happened I had never known before: I had to forgive the manwho had caused the biggest crisis of my life in killing Timmi, our dog.Gradually I succeeded. God allowed me to recognize and accept my ownresponsibility. So I could remove that resentment from my Soul. So I pre-pared the way for the people who felt my strength and lead me into theright direction. I became clear of that which is within me. I realized it wasGod, although not entirely, but I knew: Thats not me that was healingpeople, removing through prayer the curses on homes or diverting stormsand doing other seemingly inexplicable things – that was God.My first effective Lords Prayer I did alongside a woman who also hadmuch infusion of the Holy Spirit. She was often asked to help when people,animals and possessions were under a curse, as evidenced by their experi-ences of recurrent disaster. At that time I found myself close by her when atelephone call came to her from a family calling for help: their barn was onfire!She said: “Monika, come, we shall pray together”. I did not ask why anddid not hesitate, so I sat down beside her and prayed the Lords Prayer forthe first time in 35 years. Again, and then a third time, and I still rememberthat there was a great power rising within me and the attendant feeling ofcompassion – not only with this woman who had just included me, prob-ably knowing that God had brought me these seeds to germinate and whichwere about to sprout, but even with these suffering people and their animalsin mortal danger. After an hour, the situation had calmed down andresolved itself. The firefighters had done their bit, and the Fire-devil hadbeen defeated by God – we were sure! 20
  • 21. “Thats it?” I thought at the time. “Just pray the Lords Prayer? I can! Ifthere is no more that can be done, I still can!” At that time there was nomore that could be done but to pray. Even today there is nothing morevaluable than praying. Its the same for all situations at any level, althoughfor me there has also been a great Love story with God between then andnow. * “If I had known earlier that the tiny palace of my Soul is housing such a great King, I would not have left Him alone so often.” (Teresa of Àvila) * 21
  • 22. II. ProvidenceJohn 1:1,14 “In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with Godand the Word of God ... And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us,and we beheld His glory, glory as of the only begotten Son of God theFather, full of grace and truth.” First there was silence. Jesus Christ existedfirst as a thought of God and His Word in His providence, in His plan.When the time was ripe, the word became flesh, and Jesus came as ourSavior on Earth. Salvation means enlightenment. Through Him we can letGods Light shine through us and be a Light of God ourselves.As we ourselves also were starting in the silence of God in His Word andHis thought, so we go into the silence, and then create with our thoughtsand our words anew. We are the creator and sustainer of our health. Ourdestructive thoughts can make our body become diseased. They can lead toa destructive life. On the other hand our loving, forward-looking thoughtscan create a life of health and dignity. Love creates Love. It is entirely up toourselves, what we make of our lives. If we have not grasped the meaningof life, we will have to suffer it. The meaning of suffering is to suffer. Itcomes not from God. He has our plan within a grid placed in His hand.The core of all created existence is made up of His Light and His Love.God is joy and abundance – for all of time. We may well already enjoy inthis life His gifts, for only in this moment we are living consciously. Thepast is gone, the future is before us, only in the present exists theawareness, mindfulness, and only in the present now can we liveconsciously and responsibly. 22
  • 23. Why has God given us this beautiful Planet Earth, if not for this life in thehere and now? So that we should use it. We have to ensure the preservationof the Earth. We must also pay attention to develop ourselves with His giftsand not to abuse them in an otherwise superficial life. We live with theBody, Mind and Soul in this life in the here and now. Just as we wish it tobe. If we are completely at one with God and are also aware of it, we canleave our thoughts and actions in turn wholly to Him, to live in certainty,according to Gods design in Love and abundance.That comes through His preeminent Grace and with the cooperation of thefree will of rational creatures, as the term Providence is described accord-ing to Wikipedia: “A higher power that influences the fate of people andthe course of world history.” – “Providence is the almighty and omniscientGod, inasmuch as He in His advanced awareness is correcting the World’sevents and saving those from their own destructive actions. This can bedone in several ways: according to the Laws of Nature, through miracles,through His preeminent Grace, through involvement with the free-will ofrational creatures, or by admitting our sins, but this excludes any of Hisdirect involvement...”It was Divine Providence that brought me to the historic town of Lim-burg/Lahn. I pursued this goal without question, just knowing that it had tobe! I had become aware in the year of 2008, that my life would continue todecline significantly. By September 2008 I felt impelled to move toLimburg on the River Lahn.In the later Chapter entitled Blessed Mother Mary, I describe how I hadfound the house in Limburg. It was so easy, I was led up to it. Two minutesafter praying to Mother Mary in the Cathedral of Limburg, I found myself 23
  • 24. standing in front of the house in the little narrow street leading to theCathedral, and in November I moved there. I had hardly brought with meany furniture, which was good thing as I could not have fitted more intothis small and narrow 550 year old half-timbered house with its three floorsleading up from a narrow twisting stairway. I had instead brought with memy many statues of the Saints, and the house itself radiated a sacredspiritual atmosphere.This was to be the best event for me at the time, because it led me on a pathstraight to God. I soon was to visit Him in the Cathedral, even several timesa day. Not only during religious Services but also the times in between.This great Catholic temple attracted me like magic. There were momentswhen I could feel the energy pulling me up the Cathedral hill, day andnight. God pulled me there, He wanted me in His Church!In 2008 I spent a wonderful Christmas and New Years Eve involved in theceremonies of the Cathedral. In January 2009, I experienced the first Ponti-fical Mass, and within that Mass it came to me: In the liturgy I sensed amajor spiritual force, I saw with my eyes closed a deep purple, indicatingthe highest spirituality, the prayers went through and through me, and theCathedral Choir sang with an almost unbearable beauty.And then, from an unexpected source, God sent forth me a helper,Johannes, with whom I had a Platonic friendship. His life at that point hadnot gone as planned, and when he phoned me from Berlin and told me thathe was not happy, my answer was: “Come to Limburg!” The next day hewas there and was to share my new home for a considerable period. 24
  • 25. In previous times I had taught Johannes the virtues of trusting in God. Hewas well versed in this thinking as he comes from a very Catholic familywhich included two priests. Actually, Johannes had also wanted to be apriest, and had practiced for this as a child in his sandbox busily distri-buting home baked communion wafers to the delighted neighbourhoodwomen. However, in later life he preferred the boardwalks of the world toan altar in the church. Well, that time was now over – and I reminded himwith my newly found passion for God and the Church of his own past as aCatholic. Now it was his turn to teach me something, and he did.“So you want to be Catholic?”, he laughed, “then we will practice.” Hetook out a prayer book and began teaching:. “Hail Mary, full of grace, Thouart Blessed among women ...” – “What does it mean?” I asked, “I don’tknow those words and will never be able to learn!”No, that had not inspired me, I felt I wanted something more. Johanneswent with me to worship in the Cathedral. I wanted to sit down but he folddown the foot bench, at least I did consider as such, and ordered: “Kneeldown!” I did it, oh, and it hurt. “This is too hard, I cannot,” I protested. ”Ifyou want to be Catholic, you have to kneel,” was his comment. And hepressed me down off the kneeling bench. So I knelt and murmured tomyself, “I had thought it might be different from this.”During the Mass, I was compensated. Now Johannes paid attention that Iwas behaving like a Catholic. Getting up, then sitting down, getting upagain, kneeling, singing, praying, kneeling again, a very sensual experi-ence. It was not boring: there was a lot of movement, the fragrant incense,the beautiful impressions derived from the organ music and the choir andthe priests who looked so well in their colourful and beautiful robes. I 25
  • 26. learned that not only does one become a Catholic with one’s Body, Mindand Soul, but also with much Love in the heart!I soon found that I wanted to be truly Catholic and belong to the Church!And above all I wanted finally go to Communion. And so I made an ap-pointment in the Priests Office, had some preliminary meetings, and on 25June 2009 I had achieved my first milestone: my Communion. Johanneswas to be my religious Godfather. He still raves about how “his hair stoodon end” by the force and energy that the Holy Spirit was pouring out on usby the highly gifted Priest blessing me.When I was finally confirmed, it all really then started for me. Everychurch in the parish of “St. George” was to become my church. At a roughestimate, I visited during the following year about seven hundred churchservices, on average two times a day: the daily Morning Mass, the Mass forwomen, the Evening Masses during the week, and the Friday eveningecumenical Worship Service – this I soon gave up because of the missingpassion – even the final blessing was not strong enough. On the other handevery two weeks there was the Mass in the Latin Rite, which touched mevery deeply. “The Soul remembers,” writes the Pope. Yes, my Soul remem-bered very well, and first of all, I was so touched by this kind of celebrationthat it almost tore my insides apart. Maybe it was because of the wonderfulofficiating Priest, for his morning worship services in the Cathedral had thesame effect. As soon as he was there, Jesus was there, and this time I had avery intense period of repentance that I had left Him and the Church alonefor such a long time.On the weekends I attended the Vigil Mass on Saturday and the High Massas well as the evening Mass on Sunday. It all was adding up! In between 26
  • 27. the Vespers and the Devotion of the Blessed Sacrament and the Rosary andStations of the Cross, and once a month, there was also the Marian Mass ina small chapel in the Westerwald, which lasted up to four hours. Here, thePriest blesses everyone with a small Monstrance – that was something veryspecial to me! (For all non-Catholics: A “Monstrance” (monstrare – “toshow”) is a precious liturgical display device with a window area in whicha consecrated wafer is exposed to reverence and worship, crafted with goldand precious stones).I could not get enough. The Catholic life captivated me, and I wonderedwhat was happening to me. I took on a complete internal transformation,with sin, repentance, atonement, penance, forgiveness, and my innermostSoul turned inside out and also inwards. Whereby I was not to forget thejoy! Likewise, my at that time still present inclinations towards the theat-rics and passion I could completely unfold. “Johannes! How nice it wasonce again! The organ, the music, the choir!” Such were my feelings whenI came home on Sunday noontimes after a Mass in the Cathedral. Some-times I became totally withdrawn into myself and even unresponsive toothers, because I was still thinking over the meaning of the sermon.I will never forget my first adoration and blessing of the Monstrance: I wascompletely dissolved in tears, sobbing, shaking, trembling, I thought mylast hour had come. When I eventually succeeded in making the short wayhome, I was not able to speak about it. It took a double brandy withJohannes to completely to calm me down and to control myself. Now Irealise that my Soul had seen God and had gone totally out of control.These conditions were repeated at every sight of the Monstrance, and onlyabated slowly with time. It was a state of ecstasy, as Saint Teresa of Àviladescribed in her book, “The Interior Castle.” However, we must be aware 27
  • 28. that ecstasy is not always a happy state, it can also at times be the absoluteopposite.Even when the period of euphoria was over and I could think clearly again,my newly found passion for the Catholic being remained. I may have attimes criticized it and wanted to change much, even sometimes wishing togive it all up because things did not move forward fast enough, or eventhinking I may be in the wrong place! Around Pentecost 2010 I stayedcompletely away from the Church for five weeks, in order to check outwhat would last.And I realized that everything remained the same. I was also becamingaware that I was being led through the Love for the Infinite Love that wasgrowing inside me – the Church as an institution did not influence it.Nevertheless, deep down I felt I had always maintained my Love for thisgreat institution. I felt full of humility and gratitude that they had acceptedme, an outsider, with such open arms. I now firmly hold that the Church –I am speaking now of the universal Church of God, not only of the CatholicChurch, although I personally prefer the Catholic Church – was created byGod / the Holy Spirit and is still under His protection, otherwise theywould not have survived the past 2,000 years. * “If there are many Mansions in Heaven, there are also many ways to get there.” (Teresa of Àvila) * 28
  • 29. Life with Providence - a Life of Joy and DevotionThe devotion to God makes me happy. That joy comes from my heart, it isthe joy of the faithful. Look at the true believers more precisely: We radiateinwardly. We may have as many wrinkles as everyone else, but that doesnot matter. We send out a Light, and it is the Divine Light. The greater thespirituality – by that I mean the faith lived – the greater the perceived andlived joy.Sometimes it can be almost unbearable for others to put up with, that Iadmit. However, I can also hardly bear to see the discontent around me.The shallowness of society that lives only for its fun and entertainment haslong since proven a scourge to Mankind. This shallowness of being comesover those who have no connection to God. In the not too distant future itmay all collapse and not be sustained.The Czech writer Milan Kundera wrote about the excesses of those peopleturned away from God, in a good book: “The Unbearable Lightness ofBeing”, which was also made into a film. In this novel, Tomas falls in Lovewith Teresa, who is serious in her feelings towards him, but Tomas hasnothing better to do than to escape into infidelity and other worldlydistractions. Then everything disintegrates and somehow they both die.Life in the Love of God can surely be called as ”he Lightness of Being”.Everything becomes simple, everything becomes easier. Even the toughesttrials of life and the most difficult parts of it are bearable with God on ourside and with Jesus Christ in our heart. 29
  • 30. As long as I say no to God, I am limiting myself. In this limitation I am notgiving God the permission to give me what He wishes to give me. And aslong as I do not feel good enough within one field it is influencing allothers. This feeling of “not being good enough” is based on a lack of self-Love: “I am not enough, so I am not worthy of it all.”If I say yes to God, I then find myself in the vastness of an open space inwhich everything happens. To say yes to God, is to accept everything Heprovides. I open myself for all that He wants to give me. This is the fullnesswe may live in. However, the more I may have in material possessions, theless I need. If I do not live in sense of lack, I am happy with a few things.How glad I am not dependant on material possessions. I may depend onother Human Beings, but I never want to make anyone dependent on me.This means the opposite: the claim of ownership, the need of possession,the greed. No, I feel myself as being enough, I rest content within myself. Ihave a relationship with God. It can never be that God will give us what wedo not need. God is Love, and so He gives us Love. He gives us Joy, Hegives us Peace. We can be sure it is exactly the right moment He is caringfor us. Because – as I said above – God saw that it was good. God knowsour true path of Salvation, He has our “Book of Life”; so He becomes theStage Director, He knows how it should continue onwards. That is myconviction. * “God will not grow tired of giving and His mercies are infinite. Let us not become tired of receiving.” (Teresa of Àvila) * 30
  • 31. Providence rather than Wish-fulfilmentThere is a new science in the great arena of Esoteric: the wish-fulfilment.The intent was certainly meant well, but what people made of it was a newkind of life of consumption: Now they are usually in a position to satisfytheir material needs. My house, my car, my boat – will now be imaginedand materialized, and new consumer goods are always being added.Everything created according to the original secrets of visualizing one’swishes! They then call it luck and success.The only mistake is that this materialization has nothing to do with ourliberation. Quite the opposite: it is counterproductive. We sought to createthe luck to find the wealth within ourselves and what was it? The newgarbage of prosperity that clogs us from outside, preventing our self-fulfilment of the Divine within.God – the Providence – has already created the wealth. When Jesus says,“Thou fool, this night thy Soul shall be required of thee: then whose shallthose things be, which thou hast provided? So is he that layeth up treasurefor himself, and is not rich toward God” (Luke 12.20-21), He meant thewealth of Love, of health, of inner peace, and it has nothing to do with allthe material possessions. Providence brings us even our income. Do notworry, God knows the needs of our daily bread, and that includes not onlythe daily Communion with the Body of Jesus, but also the cost of ourworldly life, and all that He cares for. In principle He is not interested inproviding us with the accumulation of material things, because that blocksout our essential life and keeps us away from His Love. 31
  • 32. You do not need now to resolve to give away your collection of antiques,but its good to think about it. As long as the preservation of old values isimportant, there is certainly no objection to that. But if the collecting maniabecomes rampant, it can take on dramatic excesses, which I myself haveoften observed and it has puzzled and worried me.Let the energy flow in your life constantly. If you are blocked on one sideby a passion for collecting, you should ensure that there still remains ahealthy circulation of energy and you will not lose the joy of life.Otherwise, you bury yourself. * “Those who can not enjoy, become unbearable.” (Teresa of Àvila) * 32
  • 33. How does your Environment react, if you turn to God?You are not taken seriously anymore – as well as that, no one can reallycomprehend. This is just a too high level for them! And your ascent to Godwas probably made too quickly for them, and in the beginning they will tryto find out how serious you are. Once they understand your commitment,they will tend to turn away from you – they become uninterested.“Honestly,” they say, “do you really want to say that you do not want tohave any part in worldly life?” No one can imagine that you do not need it.Nobody understands that you have a much greater wealth than youve everhad in money, and that God is for you your first place partner, and that anypos-sible life partner must then also qualify with a Love for God. “I cannotbe with anyone with whom I can not talk about God,” wrote Teresa ofÀvila. For me also, there is no other way.Then there are those who are acting as if they were on the same wavelength as you. They speak of God as if they had experienced anything ofsignificance in their lives. They appear to be Bible readers and accompanyyou to church, so they may have some influence with you. But you feel itsnot genuine. There are always some points they are bringing up against theChurch, they complain about the money the Church is taking in, thescandals within the Church, as if the world had none of its own.Does this concern you – you personally on your way to God, in your Lovefor God? No! You may also get an earful of offenses listed against God,listen to dumb jokes about Jesus or the like. This you quickly come to dis-like, because it hurts you personally in your Soul. You also may have theproblem of getting your required time for prayer and retreat, because yourfriends do not understand that you are no longer available every day for 33
  • 34. hours of phone calls and you are no longer interested in the problems of the“world”. You know them, because you have still your thinking mind. Butyou know there is nothing to be gained by searching outside and nothing todo. You can only find it in your heart.Love does not mean to say “Yes and Amen” to everybody. It also needssometimes to be saying “No”. Separate yourself from people who want tosuck in your energies, consciously or unconsciously, and protect yourselffrom negative outside energies. All that belongs to it. Because God gives usobligations but also rights. And that includes the right of integrity of ourSoul and that of our loved ones.I suggest to apply once a week the method I call “The Needles Eye”, whichI describe in the later chapters. Give God everything, and wait for what Hegives you back. What you do not need any more, will not come back. Forthis you will from now on only meet those people that belong to you. Wehave all the time. But the world needs to have no more time wasted, tomake it a better place. * “There is something very great, in having a free heart and a quiet conscience.“ (Teresa of Àvila) * 34
  • 35. III. GODWho or what is God?God is our Father in Heaven and on EarthHeaven and Earth means to us this world we live in, and the afterlife inwhich God the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit, and all the Angels andSaints live. Yet Heaven and Earth, the physical and the spiritual, is in everyHuman Being. So we can say: God is in us, and He is outside of us. Heignites in us the Love and Light, and He is outside the indescribable Loveand the overwhelming Light.Teresa of Àvila wrote in her book: “The Interior Castle, 7th Apartment”:“For as He has His abode in Heaven, so He probably has a place in theSoul, where only His Majesty dwells, so to speak, a second Heaven.”Teresa was very clever. There is God in the sky above us, so theres also theequivalent in Man, in his Soul. 450 years ago Teresa risked to burn for thisdoctrine openly on the stake – today people see their God, if they have aGod, enthroned in Heaven somewhere far above. Poor world!God is transpersonalGod is in every form, the smallest atom and the Universes largest, at thesame time He is formless. We must not make any images of Him, as He isoutside of any form. Form means incarnation, God is everything outside ofeach incarnation. He is nothing of form, He is the emptiness outside theform. Since any emptiness is existing, this is all God. God is the silence,because only in this silence God is tangible and audible. Therefore, it is soimportant to make churches again to places of silence. 35
  • 36. God is personalGod is incarnated in Jesus Christ, His Son. Jesus is the form of God, HisWord became flesh. In Jesus Christ, the Anointed One, He became apparentto the people and sent His Son for Salvation of all of us.God speaks to us through the Holy SpiritThe Holy Spirit is the Word of God and the giver of life. Originally, theWord of God was received through the Prophets and Evangelists andwritten down in the Book of Books, the Holy Bible.God is with us by His Heavenly HelpersTo the Heavenly Helpers of God we count all blessed and sanctified, theArchangels and a large hierarchy of Angels with all the dead who havefound God.Many people see Mother Mary as His principal assistant. For He made Herthe Mother of His Son Jesus, and without Mary everything is only as halfas beautiful. 36
  • 37. Who or what are We?We are the visible evidence of the presence of God on Earth. Our primalsubstance comes from God. It is said that God created Man in His ownimage. Since God has no form, we are in Spirit formless and shapeless. Weare not our bodies, we are not our thoughts and our feelings. We are truly ofSpirit. Because we, too, have the Divine in us, in our Self, our true Self,which rises above our body and our thoughts and feelings. When we ask:“Who am I?”, we are the questioner and not the one for which we ask. Weare pure Divine consciousness. Lets call it simply Divine Soul. If ourDivine Soul unites with God, then we are One with God, and this is thegreatest of all mysteries, because this can take place here on Earth. Jesusspeaks of this mystery in His metaphors and parables, because 2000 yearsago, He was not allowed to reveal it to the people because they were stillnot ready to grasp it.Our consciousness is ripe for the veracity, the truth and clarity. The Biblespeaks the Truth, everyone must divine it by his own. There is help foranyone who seeks it, he will be led by Jesus (“I am the way and the truthand the Life: no Man cometh unto the Father but by me!”). * “Christ has no body now on earth but yours, no hands but yours, no feet but yours“ (Teresa of Àvila) * 37
  • 38. How do we find God?By going beyond all thoughts and feelings. By letting everything pass by,the images and visions. Because these ideas are limited. Only when we arecompletely open, He is there. He shows us, not vice versa. He decideswhen the right time has come. If we still have blockages, fictions and guiltyfeelings that are a hindrance, we must remove them. He let His light shinethrough our Soul so that He can show us. God burns in every cell of ourbody, and the longing for Him does never end.This feeling is also described by people who had a near-death experience.Once come into contact with God, having even seen the Light – and life isanother. The highlight is the Unio Mystica, the mystical union, the vision ofGod, happening in absolute secrecy of the deepest Soul.When I read the first revelation of God to the people, as described inEnochs vision: “Be still, know, I am God,” I was deeply shaken. Thesewords God spoke directly to me! For a long time I could not read throughthese verses up to the end without being disturbed completely, and theytouch me still. How could I be so blind, so deaf, have been so stupid! Howcould I not have known! I cannot believe it yet, how it may be possible thatwe simply do not know: God is here! Why are we so insulated that we arenot perceiving God? We count the words of a poem and do not realize itsmeaning.Only when we are able to create within us a state of deep stillness, or betterput, if we find that space of silence within us, we are able to find God inourselves. Because only God can speak through the silence. Only throughthe silence, a tone sounds, a word can be understood. 38
  • 39. Please be quiet, in order that God may speak to you: I speak to you. Be quiet Know I am God. I spoke to you When you were born. Be quiet Know I am God. I spoke to you With your first glance. Be quiet Know I am God. I spoke to you With your first word. Be quiet Know I am God. 39
  • 40. I spoke to you With your first thought. Be quiet Know I am God. I spoke to you With your first love. Be quiet Know I am God. I spoke to you With your first song. Be quiet Know I am God. I speak to youThrough the grass of the meadow. Be quiet Know I am God. I speak to youThrough the trees of the forests. Be quiet Know I am God. 40
  • 41. I speak to youThrough the valleys and hills. Be quiet Know I am God. I speak to youThrough the Holy Mountains. Be quiet Know I am God. I speak to you Through rain and snow. Be quiet Know I am God. I speak to youThrough the waves of the sea. Be quiet Know I am God. I speak to you By the dew of the morning. Be quiet Know I am God. 41
  • 42. I speak to you By the evenings peace. Be quiet Know I am God. I speak to you By the glow of the sun. Be quiet Know I am God. I speak to you By the twinkling stars. Be quiet Know I am God. I speak to youBy the storm and the clouds Be quiet Know I am God. I speak to you By thunder and lightning. Be quiet Know I am God. 42
  • 43. I speak to you Through the mysterious rainbow. Be quiet Know I am God. Ill speak to you If you are alone. Be quiet Know I am God. Ill speak to youThrough the wisdom of the ancients. Be quiet Know I am God. Ill speak to you At the end of time. Be quiet Know I am God. Ill speak to you When youve seen my Angel. Be quiet Know I am God. 43
  • 44. Ill speak to you In eternity. Be quiet Know I am God. I speak to you. Be quiet Know I am God.(Source: The Gospel of the Essenes, complete edition book 1-4 The original texts from the Hebrew andAramaic, translated by Dr. Edmond Bordeaux Székely, Publisher Bruno Martin.)The Aramaic version was found in the Dead Sea Scrolls and is certainlydatable to the period between 130 BC and 68 AD. The Chronicles of Enoch(Henoch) were in the 4th Century ascribed to the Apocrypha by ChurchFather Jerome, and thus declared heretical. So Enochs vision was taken outof the Bible, but all that is good, eventually comes back – and so it waslater discovered in the Dead Sea Scrolls, thanks to God! * “God does not leave us in darkness. Only when we leave Him, We will perish“ (Teresa of Àvila) * 44
  • 45. My God, why? – When we doubt and despairThe Doubt“Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” – “My God, my God, why hast thouforsaken me?” (Mark 15:34; cf. Mt 27:46). According to Mark andMatthew these were the last words of Jesus when He died on the Cross. Itis interpreted as a doubt. How could Jesus doubt His father if He and theFather are one? Jesus knew Gods plan for Him, He knew His mission, Heknew it already, when He as a twelve years old boy answered the teachersquestions in the Temple in Jerusalem. “Did you not know where I must be,about my Fathers house?” He asked his outraged parents.John was the only disciple of Jesus, who was present at His Crucifixion. Hedescribes Jesus last words as follows: “After this, Jesus knew thateverything was done, that the Scripture might be fulfilled, He says, Ithirst! There was a vessel full of vinegar: and they filled a sponge withvinegar and put it around a hyssop and held it to His mouth. When Jesushad received the vinegar, He said: It is finished, bowed His head and gaveup.” (John 19.28-30). Of course, Jesus did not doubt. He was a man, andHe was Gods son. Jesus came to Earth to teach us of Love in order that wemay find God! He loved with all His heart. He did not need to learn it.The question is, can we ever open our hearts so far? Yes! Anyway, we mustfirmly believe that God holds our plan of Salvation in His hands, and Henever loses neither the plan nor ourselves ever out of His sight. And just asJesus was concerned with His healings that men would not doubt, so I amalso convinced that any doubt destroys everything. It prevents healing andbrings us out of our hearts Love. It prevents our prayers from reaching for 45
  • 46. God, for our Soul holds them back. Our Soul feels unworthy and bad whenwe doubt. Because this doubt comes from our mind. Our Soul wants tolove, and we must allow it. If you want not only to be superficially healthy,but healed of Body, Mind and Soul, think of Jesus words that He spoke tothe two lepers who returned after the healing of the ten lepers to Him tothank Him: “Your faith hath made thee whole.”Jesus said unto the sick: “Effata!” – Open up. Open yourself to Gods Lightso it can flow through you and enlighten your Soul. Its all included. Faith,hope and Love and trust, its a good thing as it is. At baptism, the priesttouches the ears and mouth of the baby and says, “Effata!” To make clearthat the baby is open to the Holy Spirit.“Effata” – It is done by breathing in deeply. We breathe the Spirit of Godand receive His Love in our hearts.This is important for our ongoing spiritual maturation. Only through agrowing faith in God can our life experiences make sense, even with all itshardships and times of alienation and tests. Even if our life is sometimespassing through a time of searching, it is never a search for the meaning oflife itself, it is only a time of drought and dryness, in which we can re-arrange and re-structure our new life and salvation. Thus we come of age.God needs mature people! * “How rare are the people who what they do, do it all.” (Teresa of Àvila) * 46
  • 47. The DespairEven if we believe in Eternal Life, the death of a loved one strikes us badly.Each person handles the pain in his own way. Some experience a persistenttraumatic process over many years, and that takes away all the joy andlaughter in the ongoing lives of the survivors. In my opinion, the totalgiving of ourselves to God helps best when in pain.Offer up your pain to God. Whether quietly or loudly, it is good for yourSoul. Let it go into the abyss of life where you currently stand. Do notstrive against it! We can not deal with the loss, and we fear our own death,because we still have a taboo on that fact.But please do not ask God: “Why have you left me?”, rather ask him:“Please do not leave me!” That will sound better, this is a request that Helikes to fulfil. The question: “Why have you left me?” brings you intodoubt and takes you away from your Love for Him. He will never abandonus. We are the ones who turn away from Him in our pain because with ourdoubts we close our hearts and therefore can no longer feel Him.The biggest fear in connection with the death is our uncertainty about thetime following. Many do not believe in life after death, and this may tothem be an unimaginably horrible idea. Others believe in a Heaven and per-haps some sort of a Purgatory and Hell and are not sure how God willjudge them and whether they deserve either one or the other.We are also afraid to be separated from our loved ones, thus harming themand having to leave behind all that is precious to us. Perhaps it is helpful to 47
  • 48. remind ourselves that we go when dreaming at night into a similar state ofconsciousness.People who have ever had a near-death experience do know with absolutecertainty that there is no such thing as an end to life. The majority report ofa radiant, boundless Light and a feeling of infinite, indescribable Love. Weenter into this Light and are embraced by His Love, and we experience atremendous expansion of our consciousness. We meet the people again inHeaven, those whom we loved. In this state we continue to live anddevelop our Souls.Purgatory, the punishment of God that we fear, is in fact a Life Review weundertake. Surely that might for one or another be found to be difficult. Ifwe do not in this life ease and cleans our soul and our conscience, we mustdo it in the Afterlife. Since we will find ourselves in unfamiliar territory inan unfamiliar state, it may be found to be more difficult.Maybe you doubt these thoughts: “How does she know all this?” Themystical experiences are the same as near-death experiences. I knowthrough the Love of God and through my connection with Him. I knowhow doubt feels, and I know very well the state of despair and sadness thatcan be felt. I know deep in my heart that there is life after death, and Iknow through my life and my work, that the Dead are with us.As we are communicating with the Saints via telepathy, so we can alsocommunicate with the Dead from Soul to Soul. It actually becomes mucheasier because there are no walls and no body dividing us any more. Wecan recognize these Souls simply by a particular feeling. Through speakingwith them, we do it with the knowledge that our words and our feelings are 48
  • 49. received immediately. We simply tell them everything that had remainedunspoken. Its never too late! And remember: * “The best and most precious is this: Be silent and let God act and speak in silence Amid the silence the secret word was spoken to me.” (Teresa of Àvila) * 49
  • 50. IV. The Holy SpiritWho or what is the Holy Spirit?Jesus said to His Apostles: “And I will pray to the Father, and He shall giveyou another Comforter, that He may abide with you for ever; Even theSpirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth Him not,neither knoweth Him: but ye know Him; for He dwelleth with you, andshall be in you. I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.” (John14.16-18).At Pentecost the Disciples of Jesus witnessed the whole spectrum of theHoly Spirit in the form of His gifts and fruits. “When the Day of Pentecosthad fully come, they were all with one accord in one place. And suddenlythere came a sound from Heaven, as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filledthe whole house where they were sitting. Then there appeared to themdivided tongues, as of fire, and One sat upon each of them. And they wereall filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as theSpirit gave them utterance.” (Acts 2:1-4).This was the birth of the Church, for the Disciples were able to proclaimHis Word by their enlightenment. Jesus spoke through His Disciples, it wasnot only a narrative of His story. Without the Holy Spirit Jesus wouldprobably have remained a marginal figure in a story interesting enough totell about Him, but His work as the Son of God, as Gods physical form,would never have been promulgated. This was the Bibles Book of Books, asacred book, a book for the people of God, written by those whom Heenlightened as the Holy Spirit. 50
  • 51. The Holy Spirit comes at baptism and in Confirmation about us. One tellsabout the baptism of Christ: “And it came to pass in those days that Jesuscame from Nazareth in Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan.And straightway coming up out of the water, He saw the Heavens openedand the Spirit like a dove descending upon Him. And a voice came downfrom Heaven, saying: Thou art my beloved Son, in Thee I am wellpleased.” (Mark 1:9-11).There are opportunities in the Catholic Church, which remind us of ourBaptism: the Holy Water is constantly present at the church entrance, withwhich we cross ourself. It is not just any water. It is consecrated withprayers and thereby obtains the power of God. During the Easter Vigil therenewal of the Baptismal liturgy in the Church happens. On Sunday afterEpiphany (6th January) is celebrated the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord,which commemorates the Baptism of Jesus by John the Baptist in theJordan. The blessing so granted with Holy Water is also much moreeffective than an ordinary blessing.The biggest impression I had of the Holy Spirit on the occasion of myConfirmation, as I outlined in the introduction to this book, is that it wasthe moment when I began my Love affair with God. Since then I know whoor what is the Holy Spirit, and His gifts, fruits and consolations were givento me more and more. I am always fully conscious of the fact that these aregifts of God which “Life” cannot give. However, in my experience, Godrequires that we first do the preliminary work and prove ourselves matureand worthy. The second requirement is that we must remain in a constantstate of development, so that these gifts can properly unfold. 51
  • 52. At first we are given only a small amount of them, and then we have toprove whether we can accept them and use them properly, and only thenwill come the next gifts. This is always with a recall option, should weshow ourselves unworthy of the gift or to be overwhelmed by it.I have been able to recast my inner self in the two years after myConfirmation at ever and ever shorter intervals. These gifts of the HolySpirit however, are not the laurels on which we may rest upon – no, not atall. And yet I am filled with an ongoing gratitude and humility and I wouldnever want to live without these gifts again! * “Perfect Love is not given to us at once, because we do not give up everything at once.” (Teresa of Àvila) * 52
  • 53. The seven Gifts of the Holy Spirit (Charisma)Religious ConceptIn the New Testament and former Christianity Charisma means the giftdonated by the Holy Spirit to Christians. This includes: reason, science,wisdom, counsel, piety, Godliness, fortitude, awareness, faith, prophecy,healing, miracles, distinguishing of spirits, tongues (glossolalia) andinterpretation of tongues. With particular emphasis on some of thesecharismas in the modern age emerged spiritual awakening movements suchas the Charismatic Movement or the Pentecostal Movement. CorinthiansI,12:8-11: “In all the gifts of the Spirit for the common good shew one isgiven through the Spirit the word of wisdom, to another the word ofknowledge by the same Spirit, to another faith to make gifts of healing bythe same Spirit; to another in the same Spirit to perform miracles, toanother prophecy, to another discerning of Spirits, to another divers kindsof tongues; one another the interpretation of this language; but everythingworks from the one same Spirit, dividing to every man, to whom He wills.”The conditions for these Graces are:1) Water Baptism in the name of Jesus Christ2) the Spiritual Baptism of the Holy Spirit3) the absolute belief in Father, Son and Holy Spirit4) an adapted way of life in humility and charity5) permanent Spiritual development 53
  • 54. The gifts of the Holy Spirit had differently affected the Apostles: Thomaswas given the gift of reason, John the gift of wisdom, Philip the gift ofcounsel, James the gift of piety, Andrew the gift of the fear of God, Peterthe gift of strength, Matthew the grace of discernment.I would like to explain the various Charismas for a general understandingof them in more detail and also divided into several groups:Reason, Science, Wisdom, Counsel, AwarenessThese relate to the knowledge of the ineffable charisma (gnosis). Ignorancecreates suffering, whereas through knowledge and awareness comes Love,and Man is redeemed. It is not from our mind in the brain. It is not from theknowledge we learn. Its about the intuitive knowledge that is hidden deepin our subconscious. It evolves with wisdom and awareness. This enablesus to then give advice to other people. This advice again comes not fromour mind, not from our thoughts with which we wish to inflate our egos forto talk so wisely. No, the advice comes from God, and we are merelyexpressing it.The charisma of science means that we can rapidly merge the details ofscience into a whole. Suddenly we know – again purely intuitively – howthings are doing. The downside is: everything normal bores us, because wealready know everything or can expose a falsehood immediately. Theadvantages are: We are made aware of how we are carrying theresponsibility for everything in our world, for example in environmentalprotection. The whole spectrum of ecology stretches out before us,although we have not learnt it from books, but experiencing it from theinside out. We understand the Universe. We understand Stephen Hawking 54
  • 55. when he talks about the Big Bang Theory with this insight: “There muststill have been something before, so there is a God!” Albert Einstein wasafraid of becoming unhinged if it was true that “God plays dice” thatnothing can be calculated in the classical linear mode. We understand thenew quantum theory of the scientists, when they realize that the former“great void” even includes energy, knowing: There is no emptiness, God isin everything. Maybe we cannot express ourselves because we lack thevocabulary. But we understand intuitively: The Laws of Nature and theSpiritual Laws reflect the same truth: God.Piety, Godliness, Faith, StrengthIts about faith from the heart, the Love of God and the deep humilitybefore Him. This Love makes us strong on the one hand, however, it givesus the necessary wish, always to satisfy Him. The Soul that has onceabandoned God and has since recognized that as being an error will nevermake that mistake again, once knowing it could have turned out sodifferently!Teresa of Àvila, The Interior Castle, 6th Flat: “Through the glories that Hetells the Soul, she realizes much more clearly the greatness of God. Itfrightened her, how she could be so presumptuous, she mourns her lowreverence, and her own folly as being so crazy, that she never maycomplain about it enough, considering that she has left such a noblemajesty due to such low reasons .”The strength also means humility. My prayers can turn the world upsidedown – but only if God wants it! I am nothing, Im small as a grain of sand!I am nothing, and everything comes from God. 55
  • 56. Healing, Miracles, ProphecyWe obey an impulse of God. God has chosen us as His channel, and weperform these acts on His impulse: The healing of the sick by laying on ourhands and praying; miracles prove themselves in the form of spontaneoushealing as well as in the mastery of the elements; the prophecy means theproclamation of Gods Word (Greek: “One who speaks for others”). Thisalso includes the predictions of coming important events.Discernment, Tongues and their InterpretationIn my experience, the charisma of tongues (glossolalia) shows the ability todream in a foreign language or to think or understand them and speakwords and phrases, without being aware of it. The interpretation of tongues,is something Ive felt after my Confirmation: My Soul remembered, as wasdescribed by the Pope in the preface to the Latin Mass. Deep within us isburied the text in all languages, and when we hear these words, the Soulrecalls. So my Soul suddenly spoke Latin, at least enough for the HolyMass in Latin to understand its meaning and to meld with it and therebycausing me to burst into tears in the first three Masses.The discernment of Spirit we need to recognize the false prophets, andthese, as we all know very well, are numerous. Once we have received thecharisma of the Holy Spirit, we know when something is right or wrong!We are never victims of a sect. We see through them immediately. We areeven indirectly led to help to free their victims. I have already been led todo that, although I cannot of course make that known. 56
  • 57. Pope John Paul II, who exuded all the charisma of the Holy Spirit alreadyin his appearance, has recognized these healing Charismas even in non-consecrated persons, and ordered the release of this knowledge on 25September 2000. At that time our present Pope Benedict XVI was chairmanof the Congregation. Thus, two Popes are on the side of us Healers andMystics – isnt that wonderful?Excerpted from the Congregation for the Doctrine of the FaithInstruction on Prayers for Healing by God:“As mentioned above, the end of Marks Gospel as well as the Galatians areextending the horizon and do not limit the miraculous healing on theactivities of the Apostles and some Preachers of the Gospel, which play aprominent role in the first missionary. From this point of view the evidenceof the “Healing Charismas” (cf. 1 Cor 12,9.28.30) are particularlyimportant. The meaning of the word Charisma itself is very wide; aCharisma is a “freely-given gift”, the mentioned case refers to it as “gifts,to cure diseases.” These spiritual gifts are assigned to an individual (cf. 1Cor 12:9), so they are not understood as cures, which has been gained byeach of those cured by themselves, rather as a gift granted to a person inorder to obtain the Healing Grace for others. This gift is dedicated in the“One Spirit”, whereby it cannot be closely defined, how this person doesachieve the healing. One can assume that this is done through prayer,perhaps accompanied by a symbolic gesture “.(Soure:www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_20001123_istruzione_ge.html) 57
  • 58. The twelve Fruits of the Holy Spirit“Come Holy Spirit, open the hearts of Thy faithful, and you fill them withThy Love.” In the New Testament, Matthew the Evangelist writes: “Bytheir fruits ye shall know them.” (Mt. 7.16)The fruits are Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness,Forbearance, Gentleness, Faithfulness, Modesty, Abstinence, Chastity.This book is about Love. The charisma joy I would like to mentionparticularly. Teresa of Àvila, too, felt a great joy in her spirituality thatsprings from the inner freedom gained. The heart is free. Humility meansno weight, no burden, but a feeling of lightness and freedom. Even now Ipray the Lords Prayer as an invocation and glorification with uplifted arms.The power of the Holy Spirit flows through my body and my hands becomewarm.The Holy Spirit makes our egos die automatically. Not until then can Manfully develop the fruit of the Holy Spirit. Spontaneously an impatientperson can then become a patient person. Forbearance, gentleness –something that is completely unknown by egocentric people. Abstinenceand chastity are themselves dismissed as unrealistic by the people who arejust about to perish from their mistakes in this direction. The spiritual manchanges his sexual energy into spiritual energy – and he realizes that whathe used to call Love, rarely served the Divine Love, but rather thesatisfaction of the lack of self-Love. 58
  • 59. How do I distinguish this Divine Love of the secular? Its simple: TheDivine Love never dies. It does not turn suddenly into hatred. You have nofear within this Love. You just Love. Even if a close person is not with youand maybe never will be – you Love that person, your two Souls are lovingeach other at a distance – voilà! After the initial turmoil, the pain resolves,and satisfaction and joy is remaining.The seven Consolations of the Holy SpiritWithin the twelve fruits of the Holy Spirit His consolations are included.Crying is of a very great comfort. But there are many people who cannot. Ican, and Im glad of it! I sometimes wished I would be able to hold back thetears, especially during a Mass in the Cathedral, when I hang completelydissolved in tears in the front row and everyone could see me. I had to gothrough this development phase bravely. Although Im sure it was notalways my own tears, which flowed. I often cried the tears of others.During the New Year Reception of the Bishop of Limburg in 2010, Iapologized to him for my many tears during his beautiful Masses. Hethanked me for my support. – With pleasure! * “Under a condition that we do not abandon our prayers, then the Lord will convert whatever we do into our advantage, even when we find anyone who is able to teach us.” (Teresa of Àvila) * 59
  • 60. V. JesusMy Path to JesusJesus was resourceful and patient. Until I finally realized that the signs allaround me, in the sky, in the water and the earth, came from Him, it tookme many years to realize this.Three years ago I went to Plouescat, a small town situated facing theEnglish Channel in the Department of Finistère in Brittany, thewesternmost region of continental France. It had already received inRoman times the name of Finis Terrae (end of the earth), the Breton namebeing Penn ar Bed (early, peak or head of the world). I find it interestingthat the Romans called the region the End of the Earth, in contrary, therefugees and immigrants from Great Britain, who developed the Bretonlanguage of Cornish (Cornwall) and Welsh (Wales), called the region theBeginning of the World. For the Romans this country was a patch of earth,even the End of the Earth, but for the Bretons it was the Beginning of theWorld.Their use of the word world is referring to the totality, the totality of theUniverse, the Universe of Beings. This belief was passed on to thecharacter of their people and it still can be felt energetically. I learned that itwas no coincidence that the amazing mystical experiences I went throughthere as well as the powerful Light of God illuminating the area wascaptured in my photographs. The Département name of Finistèreincidentally only refers to it being an administrative area. 60
  • 61. I very soon came to really love this place on Earth, and in those years of the1980s I came to know it better as my own real home. It meant freedom tome and comfort at the same time, Love for all things, for the people, thelanguage, the overwhelming nature, the architecture and of course the Loveof food – I was able to feed on the sea creatures – and somehow it was alsothe mysticism, which I still could not exactly explain.At that time “mysticism” was a general term for the mysterious. This aspectfor me only covered the places nature and the sense of its beauty anddrama of its scene, which changed every hour from the ocean winds andsun and which never repeated itself. I still had no access to the alleged 7777saints of Brittany – many of which are certainly not recognized by theChurch. There are also numerous mineral springs. And there is the uniqueterm the Calvary, areas belonging to the Enclos Paroissiaux, the enclosedparishes. These arose in the 16th and 17th Centuries, especially in the areaof Finistère. The Calvary tells in an impressive way of the Life and thePassion of Christ. If you have ever spent time in the Department ofFinistère outside the tourist season on a holiday or were just staying orliving there, you can understand this term Beginning of the World verywell.In 1980 I spent a year near Lorient, in the western Morbihan Department.This is located in Southern Brittany in the Gulf of Mor Bihan whichmeans small sea. In the Morbihan, originating in the Neolithic Age ofWestern Europe, arose the famous grave Mounds (tumulus), from whicharose a combination of Megalithic Standing Stones and Stone Circles.Particularly famous are the Stone Circles of Carnac. 61
  • 62. I lived nearby in a small house directly looking on the sea. From the gardenI was able to enter the sea over the rocks which reached into the Atlantic.When there was a strong storm the water often surged into the garden and itbecame under water. Into the Doigts de Sorcière (witches fingers), a plantwhich covered the whole garden, there were caught sea-shells. Perhaps myChinese Windmill Palm is still growing, which I had just moved to there.Climatically it would be possible, because the warm Gulf Stream flows tothe Atlantic coast and provides a rough, but frost-free climate with mildwinters.When I wanted to visit this piece of land that once was my home during mylater holiday, I could not find it! The entire coastline has since beencompletely built over as a holiday resort with its own marina.On this later return I spent ten days in Plouescat almost completely alone ina mobile home within a sea-side campsite, very comfortable and very quiet,with no TV or computer and with a cell phone only for emergencies. Themere fact that I was even able to find that was pretty surprising. However,God as always, was sufficient in this case …My path has also led me from Germany directly to Mont Saint Michel, thislegendary island Monastery between Normandy and Brittany in the EnglishChannel, where there still live a handful of Benedictine monks that have toendure the daily flow of tourists. It is quiet at night in the medieval streets,and the few tourists left can enjoy a delicious meal in the many restaurantsor creperies, followed by a walk on the path along the city wall around theMonastery hill in a now quiet night within a monastic atmosphere. 62
  • 63. What makes this island so special is the huge hight difference and surge ofthe tides. At low tide, the sea pulls back a long way out up to eleven miles,and you can then take some beautiful tideland walks. As soon as the tidereturns however, at a speed that has been termed as a fast gallop for horses,you have to hurry back to the Mount, as it is then totally surrounded by thesea except for its connecting causeway to the mainland. Cars and buses canbe driven on to this connecting causeway and to use it as a parking lot. Thebuses all leave the island by the evening, and the few cars left are parkedby overnight guests.I had not been on the Mount for over ten years, as the locals call theirmountain. (Incidentally, in the beginning it was called Mont-Tombe whichmeans mountain grave.) It was just as I had known it before: full of tour-ists, who pushed through the narrow alleys and almost ransacked the curioshops. I went to my room I had reserved a few days earlier. It was a littleoff the main street which climbs its way up to the Monastery at the top, andI had from my window a very idyllic view of an old cemetery and a greengarden filled with hydrangeas, the national flower of the Bretons, but theydo not bloom until late June. More ahead I saw the three-story conventchurch, which is accessible via stairs. Behind the garden extended the citywalls, and above the sun shone in a cloudless blue sky. It was very quiet,and I heard the sea approaching from a great distance.There was a little time left to eat, so I visited an artist who specialized inthe production of copper ornaments, and bought a beautiful necklace withpendant amulet in the shape that reminded me of the Divinity of Man. Itincorporated a small crown, which for me spoke to representing Jesus. 63
  • 64. Back in my room, I lay down on the bed to read a book about Jesus. Then Iclosed my eyes, put the book down with my new necklace with copperpendant on top of it and to which I then lay my left hand down on to it. Iwas immediately no longer able to rest! Within a few minutes I began toglow. And I was soon glowing more and more! From head to toe, and thisglow extended to the entire bed. I slid to the side, but there it was alreadyso hot that I could not lie there. I felt a little queasy, and I knew that some-thing was not quite right. I am very aware what it feels like to have a fever,but I knew I had no fever! I was burning, everything was glowing, but itcertainly was not fever. Suddenly my eyes fell on my left hand that still layon the amulet and the book. I took it away – and the glow disappeared asquickly as it had come. That was strange! It had transmitted the energy Ihad put in reading this book via the copper amulet in my hands to mywhole body to the bed. Well, thank you Jesus, I now understood that youare able to heat one up pretty effectively!After the long-awaited dinner with a plateau de fruits de mer and half abottle of white wine I then climbed up to the Monastery Church and en-joyed the fantastic views far across the bay. The sea was raging far belowin the scary dark, and I could hear the waves breaking into a steady rhythmon the rocks. Then I went to sleep, in order to begin the next day’s journeyto some unknown destination relaxed.The next morning I woke up in the early sunshine, I had breakfast andcleaned my room. It was still pretty early and I decided to again visit thesmall Pilgrimage Church. No sooner said than done that and as I sat in themiddle of a pew and tried to pray, a group of Pilgrims entered the church,recognizable by their red kerchiefs and wooden sticks. There were French.They sat down at once and before I knew it I was sitting in the middle of 64
  • 65. them. The accompanying Pilgrim Priest distributed slips of paper, on whicheveryone could write a wish, and of course I also received one, too. I wrotea wish on it, and I can still remember it very well. The wish had to do withthe reason for my journey, which was one of seeking a place of solitude,even though at this point I was not experiencing much of that. However, Ifelt very comfortable within these Pilgrims. The Priest then held a smallMass, which at that time I did not understand all that much since I belongedto no particular denomination and still had little experience of Catholicworship, especially not one done in French.At least I was glad to know for whom the chants and prayers were beingdedicated, because I had already myself found God, and I also felt that Hewas very present in this particular Chapel. The title Archange Michelcame up very often with whom I knew very well. Finally, the Priestcollected the notes of wishes and brought them over to the big statue thatwas located next to us. There he stood, the Archangel Michael, he who hadfirst ordered the building of Mont St. Michel, according to legend. Thewritten wishes were offered up even multilingual, and Im sure there was noone among us who doubted at that moment of the fulfilment of their desire!Shortly afterwards the Chapel emptied very quickly, and I was left aloneand was glad.It was a good start for my journey into the unknown on this day. For I hadno idea where I would go. Since I was still inspired so beautifully by theatmosphere of worship, I asked God to lead me to yet another quiet place.It should lie near to the sea, because I love the sea very much. I am not asun worshiper, which I always considered as too boring and too hot, and Idid not want to be able to determine, at my fairly advanced age, the hoursof sunshine registered on my skin. But I must always be able to see and 65
  • 66. hear the sea, then I can find that the world is in order. And I needed quietas well as a great deal of rest! And of course, some fish and seafood in allits variations!So I left Mont Saint Michel and I looked at my map, knowing the roughdirection I wanted to take. Because the coastline was still fresh in thememory of my previous trips, I took a highway where I made goodprogress. After about two hours I had the feeling of being close to thefinish. I came to an intersection and turned North towards the sea. Then Ifound myself in front of a sign pointing to Plouescat and I decided to lookfor a small hotel room there. I gave this request to the attention of my innerguidance. I was especially concerned about a pretty unpleasant rattlingunder my car, which worried me quite a bit. But somehow I had got lost onthe way to my destination, at least I was off course and suddenly I saw abeautiful heath land stretching before me, and behind it an endlessly long,wide sandy beach stretching in a huge bay. The sea was far out on a lowtide and it shone on the horizon in the sun. I was overwhelmed by the sight,but there was no hotel in sight here. Only a campground. Well, that was notmy desire. Im not a camper and I was not equipped for it, except for sometowels.It was only May and all was quiet. Something attracted me, however, and Istopped at the Reception house. There was no barrier of any sort, so Iwalked along the way and looked right and left into small grass bays whichwere sheltered by tall hedges on each side, along with mobile homes ofvarious sizes. I had experienced them only from photographs, although Iquite liked the look of them. These ones all looked pretty new, and theentire camp made a most welcoming impression. I did not see any small 66
  • 67. towed caravans or tents. Nonetheless, I did not consider it the right thingfor me at the time.I returned to the car and was about to drive off, when a young man camerunning up to me and asked me why I was already leaving. I told him that Iwas really searching for a hotel room. He invited me to return and visit thesite with the mobile homes again and possibly stay there. Objecting that Ihad no camping gear with me, he replied that I did not need anything, itsall included there. So I went back with him, and he showed me a nicemobile home with two bedrooms, kitchen and lounge, shower and toilet. Ithad everything needed: gas, electricity, furniture, dishes, glasses, and on thebeds were even sheets of tear-resistant mesh, the type that I know of asused in hospitals. I was thrilled. Well, it was not really inexpensive. But itwas nice. And I learned that I was to be the only guest. So I immediatelysaid yes. The young man asked me if German women have no fear of beingon their own, and I answered, that I am personally not afraid, although Isuggested that this was not an attribute of most German women. It turnedout that there was an elderly couple after all staying on the campsite, but faraway from me.So I put my car on the lawn in front of the mobile home and moved in, notwithout having asked the young man to lay under my car and see why itrattled. He complied right away, as after all French men are known for theirpoliteness. It turned out to be only the cover of the exhaust catalyser, so Idid not have to worry anymore.I almost immediately made a reconnaissance trip down through the heather-clad dunes to the beach. This was covered by huge granite stones, known asmenhirs, the standing stones in Asterix, and on the left, a huge bay 67
  • 68. stretching to the nearest town on the opposite bank. The sea was still farout, and on the beach were some small colorful boats. I was thrilled. Andthen I remembered my prayer I had made in the morning requesting that Ibe led to a nice, quiet place. Thank you! – that had just worked out fine!In the evening I ate at the little restaurant belonging to the campsite. I hadto pre-order the food, and they cooked it especially for me. It was modest,because all that I wanted was there in abundance. Fresh fish, mussels,crabs, oysters and even lobster. The latter I do not eat any more as I thinklobsters are simply gorgeous, and I cannot bear the thought of them dyingthrough being thrown into boiling water. Fishes are killed with at least oneswift blow to the back of the head, and the oysters, I swallow alive –although it is not something I like to reflect over too much ... On the otherhand I hardly eat any meat – and oh, anyway, I was on vacation!The night was beautiful. Only a small lamp shone at the entrance of theCamp’s square, and apart from that, everything was totally dark. In thedistance I could hear the roaring sea, otherwise it was quiet. Inside mymobile home it was warm, as the accommodation consists mainly ofplastic material which quickly heats up. I could not imagine living at theheight of summer there, but in May it was fine. It was also pretty fresh andcool in the evening, so I was pleased to have plenty of blankets on the bed.I opened the window and prayed that God would watch over me well.The next day I spent exploring the beach and the big bay. The tide wascoming in, and the sea already filled out a good portion of the bay. Fromthe riverside path I suddenly saw a small patch of sea that captivated myattention. It was a whirlwind with seagulls circling above. I literally sawthe energy that flowed out of this maelstrom in front of me. I went closer 68
  • 69. and saw in this vortex many small fish swimming in circles. It could havebeen a field day for the seagulls – but instead they did not eat them! Theycircled outside this vortex, which was approximately one square meter indiameter. Strange. Something about this scene was beyond the usual, but Icould not quite place what it meant, so I took a picture and then moved on.A few days later, a new guest arrived at the camping site, I met him atbreakfast. He came from Holland and was a camping-site tester. He was anelderly gentleman driving an old station wagon and pulled a still older, egg-shaped little trailer behind him. He sat down right next to me on the terrace.He had come for the third time to Plouescat and always found it verycomfortable here. In the afternoon we met again, and he mentioned that hecould show me something rather special if I wanted to go with him for awalk to the sea, upon which I gladly agreed. We did not go far, and I wasable to watch again from afar this magical place in the sea, the seagullscircling again – and the friendly camping-site tester was quite excited overthis very same spot in the sea! “Here, you see,” he cried, “there it is. This isthe place that I meant to show you!”Laughing, I told him that I had already discovered this spot, but I did notknow what it represented. Now he was glad to be able to explain to me: thisis a place where the tides come together! A mystical marriage in the sea! –Teresa of Àvila would have loved it! I was also very impressed – it was asif I had found a great treasure. And strictly speaking it was somehow. Thisis one of the very few special places in the world where the tides meettogether in such a way. They always meet in this one particular place! Andin this small area of one square meter. Only one square meter of the world.It had surely moved over time as the sea levels are rising steadily, but now 69
  • 70. it was here at this point, to which I was intuitively guided on the previousday!From this point a magical force arises that only very special people are ableto detect. This Dutchman was one of this group, belonging to a certaingrouping of Mystical Humans whose other members recognize immedia-tely, no matter where we go, no matter what language we speak. We recog-nize the lighting up the mystery of life, as mysticism is called, and we candiscover God in the eyes of a stranger. Our friends were in this case thefishes in the water and the birds in the air. In the very evening the mysticalGentleman departed, and I delivered myself back into the silence.The next day I was visited by a large, thick cloud – it suddenly stood beforeme. It stood below on the ground, in front of my chair where I sat on thesmall lawn in front of the mobile home re-reading the book from out ofwhich had come the “Flame of God” on Mont St. Michel. The chapter wasabout the transfiguration of Jesus, as He climbed a mountain, described inthe Bible in Matthew, chapter 17, verse 5: “Since He was still speaking,behold, they were overshadowed by a cloud, and a voice came out of thecloud, saying: This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased, hear yeHim!”I suddenly looked up from my book and found myself in such a cloudsitting on my chair! I remember it now: This cloud caused in me a reflex toescape! I was momentarily scared. At that moment I did not know if I hadarisen in the cloud or if the cloud had come down upon me! At least I hadthe presence of mind to convert this reflex into a flight into the mobilehome to fetch my camera. When I came out, the cloud was already pulled abit up into the sky and dissolving. Nevertheless, on closer inspection of the 70
  • 71. photo, one has the feeling, that it had arisen from the ground as the upwardmomentum was somehow still visible ... After all, it was another reminderof one of my strange experiences with Jesus.There was a time when wherever I went, Jesus seemed to be already there.Sometimes only in the form of a lamppost decal where I had parked. Thislittle picture was advertising for an Icon Museum with a picture of Jesus.This situation stuck around with me, almost seeming to pursuing me. It waseight years ago when I was told by a young woman, that she saw Jesus withme. That was new to me, as I had only found out a little bit about God, butnot yet much about Jesus. But she said simply. “I see Jesus in you.” I knewthat she was able to “see” many things through psychic vision, so I did notdoubt her statement. I often remembered her and so attended this IconMuseum. I was overwhelmed by the art and, above all, of the energies, con-tained within the icons themselves. It made my hair stand on end, and Icould hardly bear the forces coming out of them. A short time later, Iowned an Icon of Mother Mary with Jesus, made by a nice lady whose hipI had treated, as a gift of thanks.Jesus must have been greatly pleased at my having finally discovered him,and from then on I could count on His constant appearances A year later Ibought from my friend Johannes a few figures of Jesus, Mary, Joseph,Mary Magdalene and Saint Thérèse of Lisieux. These figures are about 30-40 cm high and were presented over decades in Corpus Christi processionsin front of houses and in the windows. Now they are scattered throughoutmy house and have a beautiful aura. And now I feel that Jesus is alwaysnearby, merged with my Soul. 71
  • 72. That reminds me of another nice story, too, it began with two thick cloudsin the sky. I was in the vicinity of Stuttgart and wanted to drink a coffee inthe small town in the afternoon. I did nothing know and asked my innerguidance to lead me to a pleasant café where I could sit outside. My eyesimmediately fell on two large cumulus clouds in the distance on the sky,which had placed themselves in brilliant white so picturesque that I felt:“This is the direction you must go!” A word and a blow, I walked towardthe clouds. After two hundred yards, I reached a small public space with alovely café, in front of it a couple of tables were set up. I sat at a table, fromwhich I wanted to see the clouds – but they were gone! Blown away ...I ordered a coffee and phoned with my daughter. The telephone conver-sation was not very edifying, and I must have looked pretty angry. In anycase, when I had finished the conversation, a man at the next table waslaughing and said it was no mistaking that my phone conversation with mydaughter was not quite pleasant. That made me laugh, and so we talkedmore over the tables. The man not only looked like an Indian, he told methat he was descended from an American Indian people, whose name I haveforgotten. He lived in the Eifel and was selling for the first time his ownart. This were huge roots, he dig up in his backyard and editing them. Nowhe wanted to sell these works of art in Swabia. I thought I did not hearright! These roots I had seen a week earlier on my trip that I madeprofessionally once a month through the Eifel. I interrupted him: “I knowthese roots, and I know where you live, in a place called …. in the Eifelregion. It is a blue house with a small garden in front of it, and there is alarge painted root.” The Indian laughed. He was not surprised that I toldhim 400 miles from his home as a real stranger, where he lived and how hishouse looked like. He just laughed. For him it was normal that such thingshappen. 72
  • 73. I did not know what sense this made that I was lured by two huge cloudsthat had suddenly disappeared, at this coffee table – to meet a friendlyIndian, and knowing where he lived and how he earned his money. I toldhim how I had come to this café, and that I often had to do with dubiousclouds. He told me that Jesus changes my level of consciousness and then Icould see these clouds. We came up to speak of this experience I made inBrittany. I told him, and lateron he told me about “his” Jesus in the Eifel.Near his residence there was a huge Cross with the corpus of Christ. I wasimmediately interested to see this Cross, and he told me the location. Healso invited me to visit him and his family.A short time later I took my way back through the Eifel, I went to thatCross. It was much bigger than I had imagined. Huge! A strain more than ahigh house with a maybe three feet tall figure of the Saviour stood next to ahighway, and Jesus looked down at me. I could only see Him in total fromthe other side of the road. So I had to go first in the vicinity of Stuttgart, inorder that this Indian from the Eifel could lead me to this beautiful Cross!His Jesus was my Jesus, and I also visited his wife and many children fromtime to time. He, however, had left for America. * “If we were to see nothing else than the True Way then we would soon be on target “ (Teresa of Àvila) * 73
  • 74. Encouraging Words of Jesus for you ... I know your suffering, struggles,Tribulations of your Soul, the weaknesses of your womb. I also know of your cowardice, your sins And yet I say to you: Give me your heart, love me, just as you are! To be when youre waiting for an Angel To thee of Love to give, Even though you may never fully love me. If you are a coward in your declining of obligations And in the exercise of virtues, Even if you often decline in those sins That you may no longer want to commit I will not allow you to NOT love me! Love me like you are! In every moment and in whatever situation You are currently in, Within the heat of the drought, Within the bonds of fidelity or infidelity Love me like you are! I want the Love of your poor heart; Because if you wait until youre perfect, Youll never be able to love me! I could not possibly out of every grain of sand 74
  • 75. Make you an Angelic Seraph, Shining with purity, nobility and Love. Am I not the Almighty?And if I like to leave those wonderful creatures in Heaven, To the poor Love of your heart to prefer – Am I not always the Lord of my Love? My child, let me love you; I want your heart. Sure, Ill convert you over time, But today I love you just the way you are, And I hope that you may love me so, Just as you are. I want from out of the depths of your misery Your Love to ascend and be seen! I love you even in all your weaknesses; I love the Love of the poor and wretched. And I want incessantly that the poor Should be ascending: Jesus, I love you! I do not want solely the song of your heart; I do not require of you your wisdom Or your talents. One thing only is important Seeing you work with Love! 75
  • 76. It is not to be your virtue, That I wish for. If I were to give you such – Youre so weak That this would only nourish your Self-Love. But do not worry that I could have you determined to do great things. No, you would be a useless servant to me, And even the little that you couild give, Because I created you only for Love. Today I stand at the door of your heart, Like a beggar – I, the King of Kings! I knock and wait! – Hurry to open up to me! Occupations will not bring you your misery. If poverty was your perfect test, You would only die in pain. What my heart would be wounded by, Would be to see that you doubt me And your confidence in me is missing.I want you to even in the most insignificant action Do it only out of Love. I count on you, That you to give me joy! 76
  • 77. Never mind that you possess no virtues Ill give you mine. If you are going to have to suffer, Ill give you the strength. If you give me your Love, Ill give you so much more So that you can understand the nature of Love, Far more than you have ever dreamed of. Remember, however, to Love me like you are! I have given you my Mother. Leave everything else aside, yes everything, Let you flow through Her heart as a pure Soul! Whatever happens, do not wait so surelyAs to become so sacred as to then of Love to give me; In that way you would never be able to love me. And now go! (Source: "Ecce Mater Tua," No. 268, author unknown) 77
  • 78. VI. MaryBlessed Mother MaryAnd then came Mary, the Mother of God – at first in the form of St. Maryof Schoenstatt. St. Mary, with whom Father Kentenich together with agroup of youths formed a Covenant of Love on 18 October 1914 in theOriginal Holy Shrine in Schoenstatt, in order to settle in the Chapel and towork miracles of grace. This day is considered the foundation for todaysInternational Schoenstatt Ecclesial Movement.At the foundation the picture of the Virgin Mary, which now hangs in themiddle of the altar, was not yet in the Original Shrine, but only came onGood Friday of the following year to Schoenstatt and was suspendedshortly before the start of the Marian month of May. The picture is one ofmany copies of the painted “Refuge Peccatorum” (Refuge of Sinners) byLuigi Crosio. This title, however, was not incorporated in Schoenstatt, but -because of a historical parallel – the title of the miraculous image of theIngolstadt Marian Congregation: “Mater ter admirabilis”, abbreviated asMTA.Since 1943, replicas of the Original Shrine are built throughout the world;on the occasion of the Marian year 1954, the Pallottines erected on theirpremises in Limburg a “Mater ter admirablis” (MTA) Chapel, opposite theexisting St. Marys Church. Whereas all the other Schoenstatt Chapels haveonly printed versions of the MTA pictures, Father Gerhard Hermes SACpainted for the little Chapel in Limburg one in oils. It is in an octagonalframe with an oval mat, hanging in the middle of the carved altar. It shows 78
  • 79. Mary and Jesus, with Mary looking directly down at us holding the babyJesus in Her arms. She wears a royal blue robe with wide sleeves, whichincludes some red cloth, as these colours symbolize Heaven and Earth. Herhair is covered with a white cloth that falls to Her shoulders. Jesus is like-wise wrapped in a white cloth. The lower end of the image has a cloud-likefinish and the background is in a light brown. Mary and Jesus are surroun-ded by a brilliant light that makes them stand out from the background.It was on 13th of July 2009, three weeks after my Confirmation, that I heldmy first Sacred Heart devotions in the MTA Chapel in Limburg. I prayedthe Rosary along with several believers who join together on the 13th ofeach month. It did not take long before I found myself overcome with agreat emotion, and was overwhelmed by tears. I sat in the front row andtried to reassure myself by simply looking directly at Mary.I then looked at the altar, and suddenly it began to glow. First, only Heraura shone as a bright ring around Her, then suddenly Jesus also began toshine. At that point Marias eyes twinkled, and my eyes began to vibrate atthe same time. I was not able to control them. There was not the usualnervous twitch as most people have experienced it, but a movement thatcaused a strange vibration of the eyelids. And when I closed my eyes, thisvibration went further inside my head. When I opened my eyes again, theentire altar was on fire! Of course, it was only seen by me and it also shoneall around in gold. Mary with her child Jesus both glowed now and seemedto wink at me. Finally the whole altar glittered like – yes, I must sayunfortunately, because it describes it best – like the billboard at afairground booth. I have to beg your pardons, Padre Kentenich and DearMary, but there is no better way to describe it. Several minutes after thisspectacle was over, I returned to my Rosary and prayed on bravely. 79
  • 80. Finally, we were all blessed by the two Priests who regularly appear eachday at 3 pm in the MTA Chapel. Their blessing was for me alwayssomething I could feel as rather special, as I could feel the great powerthese Priests radiated through being filled with Gods Light and Love.The elder of the two Priests died a few weeks later when he collapsed at thebeginning of a Mass, and one which I happened to be attending. He collap-sed in front of the Sacred Heart Altar. At his funeral, the Priest celebrantemphasized that for this Father, truth and clarity were always the mostimportant to him. I realized then that he had given me within the smallMTA Chapel not only his blessing, but was also very much assisting me inmy search for my own truth and clarity. I shall always fondly and gratefullyremember him. May his Soul forever rest in peace!Back to our beloved Mary in the MTA Chapel of Limburg: The next day Ivisited Her again. I wanted to know more. What was it that had enflamedMary and Jesus together with the altar? In seeking an answer, I lit a candleand greeted Jesus and Mary most dearly, and again I was sitting in the frontrow. I had of course not come to conduct a scientific experiment as to howthe event could have happened! So much was already clear to me: therewas something very special given to me, a truly precious gift, and I woulddare not to ask for that gift to be given once more to me again, as I am fartoo modest to ask for such a thing. But of course I was filled withcuriousity. Why did my eyes vibrate in such a strange manner? Why did Ifind myself crying so much? All this I wanted to find out about in greaterdetail.I sat back in the front row and prayed: “Hail Mary full of grace, the Lord iswith Thee: blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy 80
  • 81. womb, Jesus. Holy Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and forever.Amen.” Everything was quiet. Once again: “Hail Mary ...” And a thirdtime: “Hail Mary ...” – And then it began once again. This time I did notcry. I felt my left eye begin to vibrate. I closed my eyes, and the right eyealso then began to vibrate. I opened my eyes again, and then Mary onceagain winked at me. Her aura was visible, and Her silhouette was accentu-ated, along with that of Jesus, as coming out forward from the altar. Thewhole altar was once again covered in gold, and then it turned into a flash-ing altar, as might be seen in a fairground....I was then filled with Love, and although I was aware that there mighthappen something special, but what was it? When I started to re-think overthe whole event (no, it was not a nightmare, but at the time I could have feltit as almost being so), and in the end I managed to calm down. I thoughtabout it for a while, and then Mary was casting Her spell over me again.Suddenly I knew that I should have to come out from my mental thoughtsand move to within my Heart. She was asking for my Love, of that I wascertain, and this She certainly could have. I then opened up my heart to her,letting my Love flow outwards, and began to pray: “Hail Mary...”. Onceagain the previous events all returned – the eye vibrations, winks, andabove all, Mary and Jesus were once again bathed in flames!I recounted this experience and phenomenon carefully to the nice lady whooften accompanies me in to the MTA Chapel and also some other religiousservices. I had first met her at my Confirmation in the small LimburgChurch of St. Anna. She came at that time over to me and handed me aRosary! Our Confirmation ceremony had been so filled with the Holy Spiritthat she had deeply felt it. Her face was constantly lit up, and she is lookingyounger and younger, even though she has not had an easy life. But her 81
  • 82. unflagging faith and her deep Love for Mary and Joseph and all the Saintsand our Lord have helped her through all the hard times.When I told her about Marys “Lightning”, she was astonished, but shenevertheless believed me. She herself might have developed other types ofcontact with Mary. I was to know that those whose hearts are as open asmine, are truly my Sisters and Brothers in Faith, and they are aware that Iwould never, as they would never, tell them mistruths or invent things thatwere not true. We all just know it through our deep faith and openness, andbecause we are all of the same thinking.A few nights later I woke up and knew what Mary wanted of me. Shewanted me to learn telepathy! She wanted to tell me: “Look, there is a kindof communication that you need to learn now, youll be able to usefully useit and I will show you how”. Suddenly I realized that if I came during myRosary prayer to join the frequency of Mary, She showed it by lights andflashing and twinkling in Her eyes, and my eyes were responding Her. Thewhole thing was nothing but a telepathic transmission. I was so over-whelmed during the first event, before all of this had became known to me,that Mary had already surely spoken through my Heart, and thus broughtme through my intense feelings to tears. She had then let me pray, and afterpraying the Hail Mary three times, She began to transfer Her silent innermessages to my inner consciousness. What She said and what the messagewas, I was not then openly conscious of. Telepathy works rather like aradio, there is a sender and a receiver on one and the same frequency. Whatis said comes, as long as we are still not practiced in the receiving of it, toreside silently within our inner consciousness as unspoken impulses. 82
  • 83. I had tried it on that day a third time, and then it had worked right away.Having prayed three times “Hail Mary”, it started. As soon as I startedthinking about it, I were falling down from the frequency and then theblinking stopped abruptly. At the end I did not fail to pray to Mary, butquietly and without demanding anything from Her. I do not want tooverburden Her; no, my respect and awe are still far bigger than mycuriosity, and also my Love for Her!Telepathy is the language of the Saints to the faithful, it is the language ofthe prayer to God and His helpers and it is the language of lovers, whoseSouls are at a very high level and can feel their way to each other and trulyconnect together.In the Cathedral (Dom) of Limburg theres also a great prayer area in theNorthern transept. Here is Mary, in gold, about five feet high, crowned asthe Queen of Heaven, with Jesus on Her right arm and with a sceptre in Herleft hand. She has a most beautiful face and is looking straight ahead,whereas Jesus directs His gaze to the right. I love to sit on the wall ledge onthis side of Her.It is a statue of Mary from the Mainz Baroque period, with its typicalsmooth, flowing shapes and is thus about 300 years old. Under Her feet sheis supported by the globe of the Moon. This reminds me of the vision of thewomans sign in the Book of Revelation: “A woman clothed with the Sun,the Moon under her feet and a crown of twelve stars on her head”(Revelation 12:1). Some figures are also presented with Mary having a halowhich contains twelve stars. The Early Church had already seen Mary inthe picture of this woman as representing the Church itself. If the Moon is 83
  • 84. under Her feet it represents that this woman does not depend on the powersand influences of Nature, but stands above all that.In the middle of the Chapel area are two round racks stacked with manysmall candles that worshipers light for their prayers. The area is quite dark,and this helps even more with a very special atmosphere which invites to acontemplative prayer and dialogue with Mary and Jesus. The modernstained glass window overhead shows red dots rising that glow beautifullyin sunlight. They symbolize our prayers ascending to God. The wrought-iron grille also contributes to the feeling of being protected.In the September of 2008, when I was visiting Limburg for the first time inthe occasion of my daughters Birthday, I visited also the Cathedral (Dom),and I began to feel very at peace there. In the Maria prayer area previouslymentioned, I then lit a candle and wished, without unduly emphasizing ithowever, that Mary should help me to find an apartment. I also wrote mywish onto a prayer card and put it into the designated prayer box which thetwo Dom Sisters (Franciscan Nuns) empty every night in order to recitethese prayers over once again to God. I find that this is a very helpingaction on their part.After spending a short time in the Cathedral of Limburg, I left and walkeddown the adjacent narrow street lined with historic half-timbered houses oneither side, for approximately only 150 meters. My eyes fell upon a win-dow of a tall and narrow house, on which was written on a paper the in-scription: “Apartment for rent”.... I did not hesitate, and took out my cellphone and rang the number inscribed. The house owner told me the size ofthe apartment and invited me to a viewing appointment. On visiting it, I didnot hesitate and immediately agreed to sign the contract. Delighted and 84
  • 85. filled with profound gratitude, I went to the Cathedral, and wrote on aprayer card: “Thank you, the apartment has became a whole house in theDomstrasse, greetings Monika Petry.”It was some time later, in fact a year and a half later, during a visit with afriend to the Cathedral, one of the Dom nuns showed my a treasure chest,as she called it, where she had treasured special Prayer Cards, which ofcourse are kept anonymous. She picked one out at random and read:“Thank you, the apartment has become a whole house ......” – “Thats fromyou,” she exclaimed in surprise, “what a coincidence!” No, there is nocoincidence – it is part of that which is always connecting us invisibly witheach other. * “From foolish devotions and sour-Saints Save us, O Lord! “ (St. Teresa of Àvila) * 85
  • 86. Sister MaryOne evening there stood a Nun at my front door and asked for admission,and I granted her asylum. Lets call her Sister Mary. I had met her in theCathedral and had already spoken briefly with her. In the evening there shewas! After decades of a monastic life, she now faced a new challenge, thatwas given to her by God and which she now bravely shouldered. Her newlife was not easy for her and left even to me significant effects. She left afar deeper impression on me than I could ever have imagined. Withoutrealizing it, pioneering these two months of living together and maybe evenjust in the first week, which was filled with intense conversations, startedme out on my own new life and my own transformation.We had plenty of conversations, Sister Mary and myself. She was an experton the Gospel; she could sing the Psalms from beginning to end; she neverspoke in ordinary sentences; made no usual types of statements, she justquoted the Holy Bible. Her favourite was Paul the Apostle, and he wasconsulted on every topic. Even the Pope was our permanent guest. “If thePope knew,” Mary whispered emphatically at one dinner with a waggingfinger, as if to tell me a profound secret, “that in a private house, life can bemore monastic than in any monastery!”This statement was an honour for me, and I will never forget it. I dont haveto join a Monastic Order in order to live with God to devote myself to Him.On the contrary, only in the everyday life it proves how much a profoundBelief in God and a Love for all other Beings has already been internalisedwithin a Human Being. 86
  • 87. In the weeks before the arrival of Sister Mary I had my focus on thereligious topics of Veracity’, Enlightened Faith, and Awareness; termsthat I was eventually able to adopt as my own experience. However, in myimmediate vicinity I had no one else to talk to about such matters. Mary,however, was delighted: “You know the Enlightened Faith!” She cheered.Eventually, she herself had found someone to speak about her deepestinnermost concerns of faith.Strictly speaking, it was my dear Sister Mary who encouraged me to writethis book. The fact that she had not found, after more than fifty years ofMonastic life, anyone else with whom she could talk so deeply aboutenlightened faith, made me thoughtful. On the other hand, I also know a lotof seekers who have got stuck on their way to God, ending up in all sorts ofdead ends through their anticipated void not being filled with God. Manypeople are forever seeking God and thus they need others who can tell themabout God, particularly people who have made their own search andfollowed their own special path in reaching that state of faith andconsciousness.These persons would really honour Sister Mary! On one side she had thenecessary rigour but also the Love of God in her heart that always bubbledout to others as soon as she spoke of Him. God bless my dear Sister Mary! * “Oh, Sisters, it is clear to see those who possess the charity of living in Truth and yet also where they are not always so perfect! “ (St. Teresa of Àvila) * 87
  • 88. VII. Enlightened FaithThe enlightened faith, what I was talking about with Sister Mary, I knowof: For me it showed up with constantly alternating highs and lows, whichgrew to true crises.One morning I got up and felt completely overwhelmed. Instead of seeingGods power and Love and the charismas of the Holy Spirit as a gift andsomething to rejoice about, I saw only my own responsibility, forgettingthat I was still carried by God. I sometimes had the feeling of breakingunder it. For within me I felt a deep sense of guilt for all the misery in theworld. This was particularly so to me in the fate of people in my family andfriends that I could not turn into a positive outcome through my prayers toGod. He first of all had sent them through a deep valley of misery, so thatthey could eventually come to their path of life.Thank God I was able to pour my heart out to my pastor who then was ableto lead me towards understanding and compassion. This brought about acomplete change in me. My basic confidence then returned, my trust inGod, my deep Love for God, my humility and knowledge: Now everythingis all right, everything is seen to be good!Teresa of Àvila mentions the path of God seekers: The first has, as a keyconcept, Truth and Veracity, which goes hand in hand with Humility. Whenfinding the truth, one comes to perceive oneself as then being on a directpath to God and that one has a lot to do for that. 88
  • 89. A most important part is the Purification process, the inner liberation thatopens one up to the Love of God and frees all blockages. This liberationprocess takes place through inner prayer and includes confession, repen-tance and atonement, which, however, may now be in a more moderateform than in Teresas lifetime. “The inner prayer is such an important pointthat you can say it was the only way to get into this life of perfection and apure, selfless Love of the heart. All who want to be that true Christians areappointed to this level of pure Love and perfection”, Teresa of Àvila wrotein The Book of my Life.The advanced seeker of God passes over to the stage of Enlightenment andthe Oneness with God, the “Unio Mystica” – the mysterious union of theSoul with God. As we know, this requires no special talent or training; no,it really only needs the willingness to get fully involved with Him. Godgives Himself to us and admits us when we want to be open to Him. Webear our secrets and are with Him living members of his Own – “appoin-tees” – people who are “called” and through whom God speaks and acts.We recognize more clearly the truth of our lives, and we recognize God inall clarity.God had led me thus to my enlightenment! Hearing Him with great respectand sensing His reputation, I followed him. I know I must be careful, bealert, always able to follow my inner guidance. If God wants to lead meand I do not respond, I shall find I am getting nowhere. He leads us to truthand clarity, to a veracity, and we never doubt it, we just know it is so!In contrast to the Love that God gives us, without demanding anything inreturn, He gives us the Light only if we help others through our Love andcompassion. 89
  • 90. “Do not ask for enlightenment, but ask only to be serving others.” Who hadsaid that I do not recall, but for sure it was a very enlightened person withdeep humility before God and all His creatures. We do not need to engagein vigorous activism, we need only to be involved in serving others. HisLight will be shining forth from our deepest interior.Sometimes I can see His Light as being quite expansive and brilliant.Sometimes it only flashes as a small dot in front of me when I am relaxed.But then I always know: “Aha, Hes there!” * “The soul should not reflect on the understanding and free itself into the arms of Love. Then His Holiness will teach what is to be done next.” (Teresa of Àvila) * 90
  • 91. The Light of God in ManI have a favourite place during the Holy Mass when the Priest stands at thealtar and is lifting during the Transubstantiation the Host and the Commun-ion Cup in the form of the Body and Blood of Christ. Then I close my eyesand in my Minds eye I see a shining Light from above over the crucifiedJesus and which also shines over the priest covering him completely. Thenthe Priest turns unto Jesus, and Jesus is transforming through His Body andHis Blood our own body into a Light body. Furthermore, the male andfemale principle is joined in us through the Bread and the Cup.During the Pontifical Mass with our Bishop of Limburg, this Light of Godis even more impressive, because it then spreads down from the Cross,from the Bishop in the middle, across to the left and right onto the officiat-ing Priests and Deacons. The colours of Light dissolve from a milky whiteto a warm golden yellow. If only I could paint it! For I see not only theHuman body, but the Light that illuminates them. This Light shines notonly from the outside into the person – no, Im sure it has its counterpartwithin the persons themselves.I have experienced Priests with this Light coming out from them, withLight rays shining out during the sermon and with the backgroundcompletely dissolving. These are our charismatic figures of Light, it onlycomes from the heart and an indwelling Love. I therefore hope that everypriest should give as much time as possible to preparing himself for hisMass. This can within us create passionate believers, as many of us are ableto see the Light! Even if it is not possible for all of us, but within our heartswe can feel it all! 91
  • 92. In my treatment of a client, whether personal or by remote treatment makesno difference, they then become very relaxed, and often they are emotion-ally very touched, and the tears flow, and they often say: “I have seen theLight”.This statement may sound surprising, particularly the first time it happens,but they are relieved when it happens a second time, although they aresecretly hoping it will, and in each person I can feel the awe, because theyall have gained an inner knowing: This Light comes from God, this Light isGod. We do not ourselves set in motion the Light – it is lit for us.And once again God says “thank you” that one of His sheep has returned toHis flock. * “If Love is perfect, it also has the power.” (Teresa of Àvila) * 92
  • 93. Mindfulness / Awareness / EnlightenmentThis is the way: – Learn to pray – Solve blockages through forgiveness and liberation – Learn to love – Put aside pride / learn humility – Reduce the Ego – Learn mindfulnessPlease also read the separate instructions in each Chapter.Learning how to pray is described by Teresa of Àvila very accurately, so Iam following this closely in this book because she is the best teacher in thisregard. In all respects it is a matter of opening our Soul and to align ourconsciousness to the essentials: to God or to His Son Jesus Christ wholeads us to His Father.So its ultimately all about the dissolution of forms. We change our thoughtforms, our consciousness, our perception of who we are and how we shouldbehave. We reach a higher consciousness in truth, clarity and veracity –and thereby our Soul is able to grow. It gets its breathing room. It may thenbe able to develop. It can shine forth – it is the Light of God, it is theEnlightened Faith.For a better understanding, I will present to you once again how Godcreated us as Human Beings: 93
  • 94. God gave us His Light and LoveHe is Love! So we are even in our deepest essence, Love. His Light shinesthrough our Soul. This Light we radiate outwards and illuminate oursurroundings, igniting the fire in the Souls of the seekers. A Light endowedand loving person always becomes a magnet for other people. Such aperson attracts them, literally like moths to a light. It is the Light of God.A little exercise in three stages:– Imagine a mirror as large as possible. Look at yourself from theviewpoint of an objective person and then describe that person in themirror. How is he/she looking, what is he/she emanating?– Imagine a second mirror, and imagine God in it as a large, bright Light.– Now you come again before your first mirror. You still have the idea ofthe large bright Light of God before your eyes. And then look at the personthat is reflected in this mirror. Now connect that person in the mirror to theshining Light of God.Now you realize: This is you yourself, thats your own Soul, which presentsitself, connected with the Divine Light shining in front of you! You now seeGod in yourself, you recognize yourself as a Divine Being, imbued withDivine Love and Divine Light. You recognize yourself through the Eyes ofGod, and you know God through your own eyes. The path toEnlightenment is not far off. 94
  • 95. God gave us our SubconsciousOur subconscious mind with its emotions that we express in life as ouractive emotions. Through these emotions, we are connected to our bodyand our body with our subconscious. This expresses our feelings, which wedivide into two categories:– The Divine emotions we feel in our heart and we radiate from our heart:Love, joy, peace. These feelings are real, deep feelings and show our innerconnection with our Divine Being. True joy never changes into pain andtrue Love never into hate. Our true inner Soul creates silence and humility.– The bodily sensations: pain, sorrow, gaiety, lust, wellbeing, anger, hatred,envy, etc. These feelings are short lived and within seconds can transformitself into the opposite feeling. They create disruption and confusion withinus.About the subconscious (and only about it!) we are connected with theDivine within us.God gave us our Consciousness, our thinking MindTherein resides the greatest asset we have for life: our Free Will. It isuntouchable. Just as God says: “Mine will be done”, He bequeathed us ourFree Will. We can be like Him! But we usually express something quitedifferent if we live according to only our own subjective will and thenimpose our will on others. If we are stubborn and become egocentric: “Iwant to do only my own will!”, then Gods Will becomes far away from 95
  • 96. ours. Only with the words: “Thy Will be Done”, knowing God in us as partof our true nature, that we are agreeing with Him and only then we becomea Divine Being and act in a Divine way.Expressing our Free Will also means: we are always free to decide our ownthoughts and feelings. However, we may reject and banish them: “No, thesefeelings / thoughts I do not want to express now! They will do me no good,so I push them away from me.” Our thoughts and feelings are energy formsthat do not represent our true Self. We are free to change them at will and atany time can decide upon expressing thoughts and feelings of joy andLove. Or we make our hearts open wide and let God move into us.God gave us our BodyWhile some primitive peoples still live naked in the bush, everything ischanging with increasing physical evolution and spirituality. The body isseen for what it is: merely the covering of our sub-consciousness andconsciousness with which we live on Earth in dense physical matter, andthis shell is mortal. Our body is the only mortal part of us, but most of theWestern people put most of their energy into its conservation. The immortalinner Being is neglected or completely forgotten about, and regarded bymany as not even existing.Since the body expresses our Divine Being to the outside world, it isimportant to treat it well, to maintain and respect it. We are committed togive our body its rest and everything it needs from food. With any physicalabuse of it, we show that we do not respect the Divine within us. 96
  • 97. The act of physical Love should present itself as a devotion of the loversbefore God. Then all the assessments of whether it is a good or bad,whether it is to be allowed or not, will no longer apply. God alone shoulddecide. He leads two people together through the joining together of theirSouls, and in that way He says “Yes” to Love.Who else has yet the right to say no? * “Reason is good, but better even, is the Love snatching us out of reason” (Teresa of Àvila) * 97
  • 98. Thoughts and Feelings: Where do they come?MindOur thoughts come from the Thinking Mind, this is a part of ourconsciousness, located in the brain. Contrary to common belief, the brain isnot the most important part of Man, it is merely an illustration of ourconsciousness and subconscious working in terms of our neuronalfunctioning. The most important thing is and remains the Divine Inner Self.FictionsOur thoughts are often nourished by fictions, so-called well-worn sayings.These are statements generally made and used by closely related persons.Above all, Mothers are the main suppliers of these fictions. With this I donot want to judge them. As a mother myself, I do know that they usually“mean well” when giving forth such sayings as:– “Going outside onto the road in the dark is dangerous”– “All men only want one thing”– “You should not travel on your own as a woman”– “A fever must always be fought”– “Decent girls do not do that!”and many more such familiar sayings.These sorts of thoughts, being fictions as mentioned above, make youdependent, unfree, selfish, xenophobic – and sick. Multiple Sclerosis,Fibromyalgia, Parkinsons Disease, these diseases are based on adopted 98
  • 99. mental “fictions”: the patient must emerge out of this negative cycle ofthoughts, to become once again healthy.In the contrary, the blockages and negative patterns, the cause of all otherdiseases whose core lies within our subconscious, must therefore beresolved there.FeelingsOur feelings come from our subconscious, the seat of our Inner Child.This Inner Child holds all the memories from ancient times, which aretransmitted through the DNA of the parents to the children. Our InnerChild is happy when we recognize it as and treat it as such. As long as itlives still unrecognized by our consciousness within us, its sad and expres-ses it by its emotions and occasional illnesses.This does not mean that people who have realized their Inner Child, nolonger get sick. With each disease, however, our Inner Child shows what itwants to be resolved.Once we have found access to our Inner Child, it then can serve us. Itbecomes our leader when we are looking for something, it shows us theright direction if we are strangers somewhere. But only if we trust in itcompletely and rely on it. If we are suspicious of it – such as “it can not be”– then there is no way forward. Then it will retreat back inside. Thisguidance through our Inner Child we call “intuition”.Our Inner Child does not think for itself. It takes without comment andobjectively all the information, our own and from our environment. It is 99
  • 100. able to feel; it then presents all our feelings outwardly as emotions ex-pressed. It lets the tears flow, and it can also make us laugh. It triggers ourreflexes, including the reflexes towards perceived danger and also vaguefears. Even the yawn is a such a reflex, because it is programmed to thecause of oxygen deprivation. The Inner Child is the seat of the instinctsand the drive of all bodily functions. These are all primal instincts, the sur-vival instinct, the sexual and reproductive drive, hunger, thirst, fatigue,metabolism, etc. Our Inner Child is educable. We are educating it with ourconsciousness. This is the external characteristics of evolution.The people of modern times have neglected the development of theirsubconscious mind and their Soul completely, and sometimes their exi-stence is even forgotten. The Human instincts are often used for personalsatisfaction, perceived as a liberation, and when the fun ceases, it is soughtelsewhere. They go to a public confession in a television reality show, sothat every one may become aware of it, of course, this is primarily servingtheir own ego. They preferably gain their knowledge in the quiz shows, be-cause the participants will win money with their “wisdom”. The insightsand knowledge of others become their insights and knowledge. Mostpeople live the lives of others from movies and television and are membersof the “information society” with their virtual communication tools thatultimately involve the danger of an ego-centred self and of self isolation.The scientific revolution has driven the people out of their old field ofvision, as they just want to analyze, to know and understand. Their mostsimplest and most important aspect, their own development towards God,has been largely forgotten. 100
  • 101. Teresa of Àvila, in her book “The Interior Castle”, 1st apartment: “Forthem it already had so become a habit, always treating with the creepierand brutish things around the castle that they have already become almostas bestial, although they are by nature so richly endowed and able to talk tonone other than God Himself. If these Souls do not endeavor tocomprehend their misery and its remedy, they must solidify to a pillar ofsalt, because they do not look back on themselves (as it – in reverse –happened to the wife of Lot, because she looked back).”I am very confident this Age of time will be over soon. * “Nothing should frighten you, nothing scare you. Everything passes. God alone remains the same.” (Teresa of Àvila) * 101
  • 102. VIII. PrayerThe Types of Prayer:I rapidly moved from the Our Father in Heaven prayer to the variants ofthe Rosary as a meditative prayer up to contemplation. I did not practicethe classic meditation (I had no impulse to do that), but instead felt thatlong walks and even car rides was a kind of meditation. One day I stoodbeside myself, emptying my Mind and looked at everything from a higherstance from above. Then came God to me, and since then I look ateverything through His eyes and let myself be guided by His helpers. SinceI had by then processed the overwhelming impact of our association andam now able to handle it, it has become a pleasure for me to meditate.Ideally, we live our lives in a life within ourselves and connected to God,which includes prayer and meditation, and from this comes a permanentunion with Him.Based on St. Teresas prayer teachings in her books "The Inner Castle" and"The Book of My Life" I will now cite the individual types and levels ofprayer and add explanations for the key concepts derived from thepublisher of her books, Dr. of Theology Ulrich Dobhan OCD. 102
  • 103. The Word and Mouth PrayersThese are to be prayed with either a strong voice or in quiet thought. Theseare the prayers that most of us know: The Lords Prayer; the Angelus (threetimes daily when the bells are ringing); the Prayers at the Dining table; thePrayers to the Virgin Mary and the Saints, etc.; The Rosary Prayers; theLitanies and Novenas belonging to the rhythmic prayers.The Inner Prayer / ContemplationThe Inner Prayer varies in the intention (for example: I am praying for myclients or for myself on a specific request) and in the form (Im talking toGod or Im wide open and letting God be active within me). This canalternate with the contemplation, in which God speaks within me. There isno concrete talk, but it feels that way within my Soul. My Soul is with itsFriend and sometimes with its Father, is how I would describe it. Often allkinds of feelings gets lost, then I realize that my eyes are somehowchanging to another level, its rather like falling asleep. I first see His whiteLight, and then nothing, only my Soul and God together – and when I comeback to Earth, I know I was at that time at my true home, far, far away fromEarth with Him, and He has accepted everything I have offered Him, andHe will fulfil it according to His Will. 103
  • 104. Levels of Inner PrayerSt. Teresa has created four levels in which a person progresses in theirdevelopment, during which they are sinking ever deeper into God andfinally God is communicating with them.Stage 1: MeditationMeditation is a contemplative prayer in order to know God better and tolearn to love Him. You for instance can select a topic from the Life of Jesusand then try to get involved with it in thought. In this case the effort of theprayer is prevailing; it is the practicing on a concentration of collectingthoughts and ideals to engage with God. It is an attunement for contemp-lation, in which the person is not only found by God but God iscommunicating with that person. It seems to me that St. Teresa did not liketo meditate as well. She also describes water, as the element of emotionthat arises in meditation, as “carried by pipes”, whereas the “water” shouldbegin in and end in God (“The Inner Castle”).Stage 2: The Hearts Prayer / Prayer of RecollectionThis is the beginning of contemplation and the effort of the praying personto make friends with God. The Soul goes inside and is searching for God inthe opening passivity. St. Teresa of Àvila called the prayer of the heart asincomparably more useful and more enjoyable for God than the word andmouth prayer. “We must learn to pray with the heart, what even silly per-sons may be capable of, and not with the intellect. Lets pray a prayer of 104
  • 105. Love and not just one of profound reflection, a prayer of Gods Spirit andnot of the mind of Man. But you want to perform magnificent and wellstudied prayers. They may be decorated artificially and therefore whichmakes them impossible to grasp, but the Spirit of God does not need suchdecorating,” she writes with her Divine Temperament.I myself surrender my Will to God, as St. Teresa advises us, thus to giveHim a free rein over me. I feel His Love within me. There is an appropriateterm: “Rain of Blessings” which we may feel during or after a prayer whichfeels as a shiver on the skin or as a similar emotion in our Soul. Even thosepersons in one’s proximity may feel the power of our prayers, since theprayer surrounds itself with a sacred aura.Stage 3: The Prayer to become One with Him through UnionSt. Teresa distinguishes between several levels of Union: The less intensiveUnion can happen during everyday life. Suddenly He is there and we arewith Him, and everything else is irrelevant. Gods bright spotlight, as itwere His note: “Be still, Know, I am God”. The full Oneness with Him St.Teresa referred to as the Sleep of the Soul capacities. This is a technicalterm for a pre-ecstatic prayer experience.I call the perfect Union with Him (Mystical Union / Unio Mystica) as beingat One with God as pure Light. Since this state can only happen outside theduality, the counterpart Man / God, in pure awareness, He brings a perfectdissolution and detachment. Contrary to the oft-quoted silence / stillnessand emptiness spoken of by the Far Eastern religious teachers, I speak ofGod as pure Light, and for one major reason: 105
  • 106. Since I have a responsibility to those people who confide in me, I wish toemphasize: as long as I surrender myself to God and let Him lead me, Hewill lead me towards His Light. A Mystical Union, a complete unificationhappens only with and through God. God alone decides on the timing andduration. I am not in alone in a void, but within Him and He in me! This isa very important point! It is not about astral travel or out of bodysensations, rather, our Soul moves with God in its highest possible level ofconsciousness. It becomes pure consciousness, one could describe it asstanding above or beside oneself, but never somewhere out in a void in anempty space in the Universe.There is a danger that people, happy to try out new experiments without atrue connection to God, will find themselves somewhere out there and meetdark spiritual entities whom they cannot get rid of. This is not anythingwilled by God, but He nonetheless leaves it to their endowment of FreeWill. I do not disagree with the Far Eastern teachers, it is good that they doexist, but the word void can quickly be interpreted incorrectly byunconscious people. Void means pure consciousness that is no longer aform, and that is God beyond our imagination in duality.And something else is close to my heart: If I love God really and truly, Imust be able to confess to Him. If I am at One with Him, then whatremains else for me to do than passing on His Word, His Love to others?How does it work out when I speak of the void? What is this wordexpressing, what is this word creating in the hearts of Men? Emptiness!Only when I speak of God, am I with God, I come from God, and Godcreates in every man His Light and Love. So it is, and it always will be. 106
  • 107. Stage 4: The ecstatic Union with GodThis is done in its various shades and degrees until the state of ecstasy.This requires no manual, because those who experience this, is (sometimeseven in retrospect) conscious of the presence of God. To better understandthat deep feeling, which St. Teresa of Àvila was capable of, and which is sooften interpreted incorrectly by people who should better be silent, I quotefrom Teresa’s “My Book of Life,” the following statements made by theEditor, Dr. Ulrich Dobhan OCD, with his kind permission:“EcstasyStands for an experience of the highest concentration of all psychic powers,which is not “feasible” but may overcome a Human Being as a side effectof a particularly intense experience of Gods presence (and other intensemoments of experience) without his own intervention. Thereby all spiritualand psychic energies are taken shortly by this experience, so that theperipheral activities of the psyche, like the senses, are temporarily reducedor even completely abrogated. As part of the seeking for God are ecstaticphenomena – if they occur with the seeker at all – typical of the transitionalphase, in which a man on the path of the Mystical Union has already welladvanced, but has still not reached the deepest union which is possible inthis life. Once the person has integrated the Mystical Union, the so-called“spiritual marriage”, fully into his life, these para-mystical accompanyingsymptoms usually stop. Teresa uses for the ecstatic phenomena a number ofterms as ecstasy, rapture, elevation of the spirit, repeal, etc., between whichshe does not differ accurately in this work. 107
  • 108. ContemplationIt is not a special way of practicing prayer, but the gift of free self-communication of God to the prayer, given to the prayer and thusbecoming more and more a silent receiver during the prayer of quietness orthe Mystical Union, without his own intervention in an ever wider andmore direct way. It is not feasible, but a pure gift, even if the Man mayprepare for it, by letting oneself into the inner prayer and Christiandiscipleship in everyday life.In contemplation, the prayer is given an intuitive hunch and sensing thepresence of God or Christ, which also awakens the Love of this mysteriousbut very real counterpart. God Himself determines the moment when thediscursive viewing of meditation has to yield to the contemplation grantedby Him. Even in her deepest contemplation Teresa is remaining in dualrelation to Christ, and the best way to achieve contemplation, is to foster anamicable relationship with the humanity of Christ, the Jesus of Nazareth, asthe Gospels describe. The path of contemplation is a long one of ever moredeepening Oneness with God, with ecstatic experiences and para-mysticalside effects, but which it does not necessarily always have.Speech (Audition)It stands for Teresa for an auditive inner perception as a mystical side effectof contemplation, in which the person without his own assistance andwithout hearing anything outside hears inner words that are indeliblyimprinting in him. 108
  • 109. VisionIt stands for an inner “vision” (in the broadest sense of the word) that canoccur to eidetic talented people, without their participation as para-mysticalside effects, from the intense experience of God in contemplation. Visionsand their auditory counterparts, internalised speech (auditions), occurmainly during the incipient or remittent ecstasy, at the peak of ecstasy thereare no para-mystical experiences “.End of quotes. For a better understanding: eidetic talented meansvisionary/imaginative. * “To pray is to stay inside with a friend, with whom we are often alone, Just to be with Him because we certainly know that He loves us.” (St. Teresa of Àvila) * 109
  • 110. IX. Forgiveness and LiberationSin, Repentance and PenanceThe term sin actually means misconduct in the path of the way – I haveleft my way of Gods plan of Salvation, and this arbitrarily, i.e contrary tobetter knowledge or by seduction. That is an excuse by people who dontaccept the responsibility for what they do: I have sinned – I must accountfor it before God and myself. It is useless for me to complain, I wasseduced. I could have said no ...but I did not.Often I am asked: “Is God a loving God or a punishing God?” I ampersuaded that God is Love. He not only loves – He IS the Love. God doesnot punish, Love can not punish, Light can not punish. Although we believein a personal God, He is not an evil Overlord holding a cane in his hand.For myself, God is not to be described as merely a person or a picture, Heis above all that. He is Infinite Love, the overwhelming Light.As for the punishment of sin, I say: I am punishing myself for this sin! Ipunish myself because Im creating my misconduct through negativereactions that set the Law of Cause and Effect into motion. As long as I donot accept responsibility for the bad I do, I need a punisher on the outside.The “Wrath of God hovering over the people” ... Let us instead becomesmall and humble, we have only the Loving God above and within us!According to the Universal Law of Attraction, I attract a punishment tomyself. If I lie, I will then find that I am being lied back to myself. If I 110
  • 111. cheat, I will find that I am being cheated back in return. If I kill, I may notbe killed in return, but my life might be ruined when Im in jail. Thanks toour innate sense of wrongdoing, my Soul knows what is right and what iswrong, and my Soul may as a consequence be suffering very much. Itbecomes ashamed and dares not to face God. It hides and closes up. It doesnot feel worthy to pray. Our prayers are therefore not going to God! Thenwe become separate Beings from God and our Soul suffers terribly. This isthe real punishment that we can inflict upon ourselves.How do we get out of this dilemma? Through repentance – by asking forforgiveness and penance. Due to the regret expressed by the Soul, theblocked connection to God is re-opened, and our prayers reach Him onceagain. Then we can ask Him for forgiveness, and God forgives us.Does He really forgive us? How do we know that He has forgiven us? Wecan only recognize it by our own Love for God, created by our true faith inHim. Faith is trust. To to love God is to believe in God and trust Him. Weknow He is Love, He can not help but love us and forgive us as well. NoLove, no faith – no faith, no forgiveness.If we do not believe that God can forgive us, we cannot accept that He maygive us His forgiveness – not in any way. And so we commit the next sin:we fail to love Him with all our heart.In order that God might deliver us from our guilt, we think. “I must dosomething, so that I am loved”. As well as I had to be nice with Mum andDad, so that they loved me in response, I now suppose I have to be lovingbefore God in the same way, which means to repent, so that He loves meagain. 111
  • 112. This is called Salvation activism. To do penance is not bad itself, providingit does not degenerate into senseless, self-destructive acts like self-flagel-lation, etc. On the other hand, a constant attitude of self-reproach andwailing that “I have sinned” may be equally harmful. Often people arebearing constant feelings of guilt, because they cannot believe they wereever forgiven by God. They may know no different from their parents.Again and again they may have been reproached for their misdoings, whenit was repeated over and over: “In those days you did this and that.” Theparents were in that case playing off their power and abusing their childsSoul. Of course they themselves may have been eaten by fear, but theyhave made no attempt to convert this fear into Love.You can stop the drama of the continuing debt in forgiving yourself first.This will help you to rise up and once have the greatness of taking onresponsibility for something by yourself. Those permanently casting theblame on others, are the first ones to say: “It was not my fault!”, wheneversomething unfortunate happens. So you must take on your share ofresponsibility for everything, forgiving yourself and loving yourself – asJesus said, “Love others as yourself”. Loving yourself means you are thenalso able to love others, your children, your partner, your friends. And youwill be able to forgive them, instantly and forever. This is true liberation onall sides.It is important to accept the responsibility for our sins as our own wrong-doing, repenting and showing a sense of awareness of this. That is ourwillingness to undergo penance. The Priest will ask us after making a Con-fession to pray one or more of Our Father’s Prayers or the Rosary Prayersand grant us the Condolences of the Liberating Blessing. In my own opin-ion, the Hearts payer and the contemplative prayer are very useful because 112
  • 113. we can offer our apologies to God from within our deepest heart. We do noteven need to say anything, as He knows what we have on our mind! And Ican also tell you something else: God has indeed forgiven us long ago! As Ihave previously said: He can not help but loving you, and to love means toforgive.Of course that means no free pass given out for our sins. Our Soul will besuffering, He arranged for that when first creating us: He planted in our ori-ginal pure Soul a highly sensitive sense of wrongdoing, and that should al-ways come forth, unless we have buried it through a long history of wrong-doing, but that situation will not last forever. There comes a day when eventhe greatest sinner will finally discover his inner conscience and will befound to be crying. Then God will again play his trump card of grace. Thetrump card of eternal Love and constant forgiveness.Even at the thought of so much generosity from God, I fall on my knees ingratitude and humility. Of course we should nevertheless learn from ourmisconduct – because that is the sense arising out of sin, and that is themeaning of life: to learn and grow.There are great works of true forgiveness. A few months ago I took noticeof a sermon by a charismatic Priest on the persecution of Christiansthroughout the world. I was in a complete turmoil by this, so that God letme work the next two months on half power, in order not to fall into blindactivism, which may have just made everything worse. Because sufferingproduces further suffering, strife generates further strife, fighting generatesfurther fighting. 113
  • 114. At almost the same time, I saw the film by Xavier Beauvois, “Of Gods andMen,” a film about the 1996 murder of Monks in the Monastery of Tibhiri-ne in Algeria. For me it was a touching movie about Love and forgiveness,without which no Love is possible. When reading the text of the farewellletter of the Abbot, in which he gave a testimony of his great Divine Lovefor all people, I knew I was right in my faith in the Divine! I quote his mostimportant sentence for me in his farewell: “And also you, my friend of thelast minute, will have no idea of what youre doing. Yes, even to you, I wishto express His Grace and Glory, because you led me to God. A-DIEU. "http://www.vonmenschenundgoettern-derfilm.de/start.htmlÀ Dieu – a French word of goodbye which means “to God” – Jesus alsowalked at His Crucifixion with the words: “Lord forgive them for theyknow not what they do!”Only with Love and forgiveness can we move forward, with Gods Lightwe can shed some Light into the hearts of the people who are transformingthis Light into the Light of the World. The world itself is not existing,there is only the individual whose attitude radiates outward in the form ofLight or darkness, hatred or Love or anything in between. Jesus brought theLight to Earth and to Men, planting it in our hearts. It is up to us to createsomething greater from out of it. * “Love arouses Love again” (St. Teresa of Àvila) * 114
  • 115. X. Healing through Faith and PrayerJesus asked the patient: “Do you want to be healthy?” (John 5, 6). This isthe question I also always ask. Thus the patient is prompted to be aware ofwhether he or she really wants to be healthy with all the subsequent conse-quences, which are: ending of government Sickness Benefit, DisabilityBenefits with all their useful advantages; or simply to make him-/herselfinteresting in conversations, such as: “I know all about diseases ...”, or “Iam asking for leniency as I am so sick ...” – and so on…Ive learned to say “No” to people who think they can be given a “fast”healing, or without contributing anything themselves to a fast recovery. Ivelearned to wait instead, until the time comes when they are truly preparedto participate. Then and only then will the Holy Spirit within me begin towork and give me the impulse for praying. The Holy Spirit is connectingwith me, as I can then feel it pulsing within my forehead, also often withtears coming to my eyes. I incorporate the patient in our midst, so he/she isunited with me and with God. Sensitive people are able to feel it, they see aLight or feel a great warmth. The prayer goes like a wave, I feel thatsomething gets moving. On this level, Im not talking any more. I dontexist anymore, I am merged with God. The deed is done.Whether an illness or disease is concerned or alternatively for personal orprofessional changes, HE is reliable and brings the necessary changes tothe persons Life Plan, and which can herald a major change or upheaval inthe life of a client. I am now so sure that a healing prayer works only whenthe Holy Spirit is also working in me; that is, if not even the desire or thewill to pray comes of my own Will, but that the Holy Spirit Himself brings 115
  • 116. it forth. That requires infinite confidence, not only in God, but also inmyself and everyone involved. For the way of life, the way of Salvation isnot always the easy way. It does not always mean physical health. It is thepath of the Soul to its Salvation, whatever path it takes.St. Teresa of Àvila also mentions in her book, The Interior Castle, that theperson to whom God gives no physical strength, does not have a need forit. The more reason He gives to that person for a better understanding.Through my prayers for a person, something often then happens in their lifethat moves them or sometimes even forces them to change their life style.And these events indeed may well be fear-inspiring, how else some peoplecould be moved enough to make a major change or a complete reversal?All in all it is nonetheless important to remember that the “Free Will” Godhas given to Mankind, He always considers as His Sacred Gift to them!A healer should never himself suffer vicariously with the client. Such suf-fering would put us on the level of the client’s own suffering, the verysuffering that he would like to leave behind with our help. We must alwaysbe one step higher in order to be able to pull up our clients. Not sustainingor shoving from below, but pulling up from above. At a higher level atwhich the client can then again find Love, laughter, and joy in life in gene-ral. Not suffering but empathizing with him. If we let ourselves be drawninto the co-suffering, we lose too much of our own power. We cannot af-ford to do this. So I was once advised: “If you care too selflessly, you arefading. Also a mother should in her Love to her children make sure that thisLove is directed first and foremost to God and then on to her children. ThenGod takes care of them all. This also applies to Healers and other helpers.“ 116
  • 117. * “God and I united – we are always the majority! “ (St. Teresa of Àvila) *Case Study: Joana from SalzburgJoana (name changed) and her young Son were my first mission as aHealing Traveller and also my most beautiful. Six weeks after the birth ofher baby, she phoned me from the hospital. She reported that her Son hadbeen born with hydrocephalus and should be operated on. She was veryscared. I reassured her, because I knew intuitively: Everything is good! Afew weeks later she called again. Her Son had undergone surgery and shecould now go home with him. She asked me to come to Salzburg, becauseshe was alone and needed me. I agreed and travelled to Salzburg.Joana was only in her early twenties and had been so worried. Her smallSon felt not good on the day of my arrival. Joana put him in his bed, and hewept. I went to him and put a picture of the Virgin Mary next to his head. Icould see the surgical scar, it was already well healed. The little boy turnedhis head to one side as if he was able to recognize Mary. He became quietand fell asleep.An hour later he woke up and glowed. He had a fever and was crying. Itook him in my arm and held my hand on his heart. Joana was very calmand wondered about her own peace. “Normally I would immediately callthe doctor,” she said, “but I know its all right.” We decided to let it all 117
  • 118. come to us and trusted in Gods guidance. Joana undressed the little onedown to the diapers. I was surprised, but she said they did this at home inZagreb so that the body would not heat up. Okay, I accepted, as she was themother, and she seemed to have the intuitive knowledge of all mothers. Shewould not take any risk.I took the picture of St. Mary out of the bed and placed it on the table. ThenI rubbed the little glowing boy with Holy Water, took him in my arms andprayed. Suddenly everything changed: He started to scream, his wholebody was very red, and finally took a huge cleansing. Joana washed him –and he was completely purged! The fever decreased immediately, and hewas now quite calm and seemed to fully recover!This was something I had never seen before, although I had already treatedsome babies. Joana was also very surprised, but she knew where all thiscame from. She was convinced that Mary was among us. Because Herpicture radiated a great power and so did my hands too. They were very hotand swollen, as if the energy of the little boy had moved into them. Even asI write this now, it makes my flesh creep, and I also am feeling a greatrespect for all mothers with their concerns about their children. * “The Lord does not appear to look so much by the size of His works as the Love by which they are done “ (St. Teresa of Àvila) * 118
  • 119. The greatest Secret of HealingI consider the cooperation with our ancestors as the greatest mystery ofhealing. Knowing which line of ancestors we need to heal and practicingwith these Souls the forgiveness, the way for any large and all-encompassing healing to come forth. We liberate thereby ourselves from allblockages, and this in turn leads to an opening up of the Soul. God gives usevery possible support. Were paving the way for the sanctification of ourwhole Family! For our own Family is a part of the entire Holy Family. Aswe become whole, each one of us, we are healing the complete HolyFamily and also the entirety of Mankind.So we have to forgive our ancestors and also ask them to forgive us, inorder for us to become healthy and being able to heal them. This is our fate.We must go through our process of destiny, in order to purge ourselves andto become pure Souls. Thereby we eliminate the Eternal Cross that we im-pose on our children by clinging to them after dying in order to be healedby them. We must heal ourselves during our life and be healed by God.This is the progress we must make in our evolution. To forgive and to for-get. To condone the sins of others. To dedicate ourselves to God. This willfree us for eternity with God.How do we forgive our ancestors? It is only possible with the heart, notwith the mind. The simplest would be to love ourselves and to ask God toforgive us and our ancestors. But when we are sick and need to make thisforgiveness work, so that we can become well again, our self-Love leavesmuch to be desired. So we must begin with God. Let us ask God for for-giveness. This request is contained in the prayer Our Father. “Forgive usour trespasses as we forgive others.” 119
  • 120. Or we are talking with our own words from our open heart: Then we areasking our brothers and sisters, our parents, grandparents and great grand-parents to apologize. Express to your ancestors your forgiveness, and askthem for forgiveness. Please say: “Please forgive me, I love you.” – Repeatthis sentence very often, like a mantra. “Please forgive me, I love you.”Asking for forgiveness means taking responsibility. I take my share ofresponsibility because we are each a part of the whole, the Holy Family.Take a couple of day’s time for this exercise. Your illness also took a whilebefore it showed itself as such. So also will your recovery take some time.Spontaneous healing, for which people are expecting when treated by aHealer, are only a sign from God that He has heard them. He grants themthe grace of spontaneous healing, to give them courage. In this moment ofspontaneous healing their Divine original substance is shining through –utterly healthy and pure. However, no one will remain healthy without hisown cooperation. Forgiveness represents an important part of this healing.Equally important is to be able to believe after the concluding work of for-giveness in its success. The slightest doubt would destroy everything again,so do believe that God has heard you, that is important! Your parents,grandparents and great grandparents have heard you. This happens throughthe Soul. There is never any thought lost, no word, no tears, I promise you!Ive seen people in my healing practice who were not able to undertake thisforgiveness. Some could not find the right access to the deceased. Manyhave first to learn that the dead are always in touch with us. This thinking isnot commonplace, and often this subject is simply suppressed. Ill help youasking them for forgiveness. On behalf of all the ancestors of my clients, Iask God for forgiveness. 120
  • 121. In the mystical Kabbalah there are beautiful meditations for the healing ofthe deceased. Very simple (if you do not precipitate any problems), andvery effective!God will be pleased – and your ancestors, too! Believe me, I feel this joyin every Soul! Of course also in your Soul! * “I am amazed at the damage of the contact that can be caused by relatives. In my view one can only believe if one has experienced it. “ (St. Teresa of Àvila) * 121
  • 122. Case Study:Mr. Becker from HamburgIt was a year ago. A Nun told me that she had recommended me to a friendin Hamburg. Her husband was very ill, and they wanted to call me, whichthey did the next night. Mr. Becker (name changed) could hardly speak, hewas completely dazed. I immediately knew there was something happeningthat was very powerful, that there was a strong force in action. I asked him,intuitively, if his father was still alive. He negated this, and I asked him tospeak with his father and forgive him. Mr. Becker was not able to talkanymore, and so his wife took over the phone. She explained that therelationship between her husband and his father had not been very good,and that her husband had now reacted in a very concerned way. I promisedto pray for him and we ended the conversation.A few days later, the Nun told me that on the next day Mr. Becker wasadmitted to hospital. His illness had become so strong, that his life had tobe put to the rescue in the ICU Unit. And they succeeded in this. However,Mr. Becker spent over a year in hospitals and rehab clinics. After almostexactly one year he called me back and told me that he had received thatday the joyful message from the Doctors that his illness was now healed. Icould confirm it myself, although I may not enquire about any diagnosesmade, nor did I want to, because thats not part of my job. But I knew thisdisease was over, and he does not need the experience of it anymore,because his Soul is healed. And he had at the same time healed his fatherand probably his whole family! Then he told me how he fared a year ago. 122
  • 123. When I had told him that he should deal with his father, he collapsedinwardly and thus his blockade, which he had built up over years. His bodyerupted indeed, and the Doctors fought for him and rescued him, becauseGod did not yet want him to come. Mr. Becker then did contact his fatherand also God. He was a believer, that was probably his rescue. For Godsent his father to him so that they could heal together.During our telephone conversation, he cried again and could hardly speakthrough Love and gratitude. What he had suffered was beyond hisunderstanding. God had given him a new life – and he came to terms withhis father. Now he was, at 67 years, full of confidence and now looked athis life as being a new gift. This year he was able to celebrate Christmaswith his wife, which last year was not possible. * “Do we have wings, to go in search of our self? One needs only to go into solitude. “ (St. Teresa of Àvila) * 123
  • 124. XI. Humility“Take me as I am” or:My Path through the Eye of the NeedleOne day I found the “Jesus Prayer”, also called Hearts Prayer, or PerpetualPrayer, according to the exhortation of the Apostle Paul to “pray withoutceasing”. In the meantime I have found several differing versions. My vers-ion reads: “Jesus Christ, have mercy on me. Take me as I am, and make melike you want me to be.” And thus God heard me. He has taken me just as Iwas, He forced me to really give myself to Him, ready to give up myself tothe last. I went through this “Needles Eye” as the camel did in the Bible:“It is easier for a camel to go through a needles eye than for a rich man toenter the kingdom of God.” (Mark 10:25)God is a tough master, He obviously saw clearly that there was still somecapacity within me available, that there was worthwhile room to sharpen itinto perfection. “Take me as I am,” proved my basic trust in Him. I trustedHim completely and gave Him my Soul, and since then He has formed meinto the Soul He wants me to have. And then He returns it to me.If we are willing to give everything, we will get everything back, all thatwe need. While there remains a doubting “yes, but” on the tongue it doesnot work. “Yes, but” God hears not, that does not fit with His wishes.Either we give all or nothing, compromises are not accepted. We mustdeliver our self to Him completely. 124
  • 125. The Eye of the Needle is the gateway between our existence, with all itsrestrictions and encumbrances, and the joys of Heaven on Earth.St. Teresa of Àvila came to the knowledge that in every moment of one’sspiritual life one must let go of each moment achieved in order to furtherprogress internally. Failing that, we will remain at a previous stage of deve-lopment. We can become either too tired, too complacent, or too arrogantand proud and then we no longer know what it is all really about. Then thesmallest crisis that will arise can throw us completely off track. This is be-cause we think we have achieved everything on all our own. We lack thehumility to be aware that we are not only created by God, but that we existout of His Love. We can only grow through recognizing our own limits andabilities and to always put them to Gods test.Would you like to try it too? Take a large darning needle in hand, look atthe eye of the needle, and become humble! Make yourself very small. Falldown on your knees – symbolically, or in reality. Trust in God. You have todeliver everything to Him, to hand over everything to Him completely.Really nothing should remain, and if you try cheating on this it does notreally help, and again, why should we even try? He knows everythingabout us anyway, even if you think you have an imaginary ace up yoursleeve. This is never to be possible with God! You must give up everythingand get in return everything you need; if you do not give forth everything,it will not work.If you have passed through the “Eye of the Needle”, leave it to God as towhat He gives back to you. Then you can be truly assured that it willdefinitely be the right thing for yourself. 125
  • 126. My first experience with the “Eye of the Needle” occurred within a majordecision-making phase I was to make during a five-day stay in a monastery,and which was to cause me to change fundamentally. What was at work inthose five nights, I do not entirely know, but I suspect that it was my takinga complete detachment from everything Earthly.In any case, after I return-ed home everything seemed different. God hadmade the decision that He did not want me to stay in a monastery, butinstead He wanted me to remain within everyday life to talk about HisLove and my Love to His living Church, and radiate that outwards toothers. I have since fulfilled this request with increasing joy and passion.I repeated the exercise of the Camel going through the Eye of the Needleseveral times and came to the following experience: Everything cleared andsorted itself out as if by magic. The people I loved returned to me imme-diately. Their Souls seemed even in a hurry to return to me. Yes, it wasactually much simpler and clearer. My Soul was now cleansed and freedand cleared of doubts, fears, etc., and now I knew how it should continueonwards.However, not everybody came through with that particular exercise. Somepeople continued to remain on their previous track, not of course withoutmy having asked for it or wishing them at all to stay as they were. We haveno further correspondences and parted our ways; on the other hand we allwere aware that it was best thing to do. Thus there remains no bitterness orrecriminations, its just the way it had to be. God has purified our actions,and He has given us at the same time consolations so that it would not behurtful. 126
  • 127. We will always feel the need to ask God, fearfully, that He may return usback on the correct path and then everything will be once again correct,complete and well sorted out. We should not do otherwise and why shouldwe? He after all knows everything that is best for us! So, at least we need toask for nothing or to expect anything – always in the knowledge that Hewill give us the right thing for our needs.What is it that we really want? – Yes, I know: We all want to be happy. Wesimply can never really not get rid of our fears, that God might overlooksomething we want or that we do not want to let go of someone or cannotstill let go, because we are always hoping for something more. We arealways concerned, we always have to monitor everything! We will not evenlet God work in peace! Rest assured, God knows whether this person orthis thing still makes sense in your life. If so, the person will indeed comeback, but if not, then it is still for the best!Humility also means trusting. Basic trust that everything is for the better,everything will in the end be fine. I have to believe that I am worth it tomyself, and because I am also worth it to God. The greater I want to be inHis eyes, the smaller I need to make myself. He overlooks me not!For Teresa of Àvila, humility played a central role in her spirituality. Shecalled self-importance as the exact opposite of humility. According toTeresa, self-importance is what we now call the Ego, which can represent aserious obstacle to any progress in spiritual life, since Man derives hisidentity and self-confidence from his ego-centeredness, rather than buildingit up by the truth before God. “Great is the cunning and malice of Satan,who Hell sets in motion a thousand times to make us believe that we have avirtue that we do not really have – and he does it for good reason: because 127
  • 128. it can create so much damage because of its imaginary virtues – it’s originsare always accompanied by so much ambition, while the others, uponwhom God has bestowed his favours, are free from conceit and arrogance.” * “His Holy Majesty likes brave Souls and is always a friend of theirs, if they go their ways in humility and not building upon their own Selves. “ (St. Teresa of Àvila) * 128
  • 129. XII. From Love to EnlightenmentLoveIn the first seven years we have created our ideas and beliefs within us. Ofcourse we become mature and grow up, but we are basically during our liferuled by a small child that lives in our subconscious and does not know itstrue Self. This little child is called the Inner Child. It takes everything forgranted, it can not judge and does not think. But it can love. It wants to love– if it was not so scared. This fear is stuck within our Inner Child throughold recurring patterns.We create our own reality. Before we have not understood and internalisedthis fact, we remain the victims of our personal circumstances. We remainthe victims of fate, remain dependent on our parents, teachers, pastors,partners and even our children. We remain powerless and afraid. We live ina constant state of deficiency. We lack Love and joy, money and labour, welack the right house and the better car. Once we have achieved one of theseitems, we create within ourselves a new lack. These are our patterns, andlike attracts like.How do we get out of this cycle? Once we raise up and take responsibilityfor ourselves, we start to become aware of ourselves and then have thechoice to change something. This responsibility for ourselves and ourdilemmas is: Love. We are the Love, because we are children of God,because God is Love. Everything else is an illusion, a misconception,reasoning on the myth to not meet the demands of others. Love becomesour Salvation. Our true freedom and ultimately our Salvation will be the 129
  • 130. result, if we love ourselves, beginning with our Inner Child. First we haveto take on the responsibility for our reality around us and then we have nochoice left but to love.The opposite polarity of Love is fear. Any emotional reaction that is notdone out of Love is an expression of fear. We have given it different names:anger, envy, greed, abuse, frustration, stress, etc. All these come out of ourfears. And these fears are the only reason for the suppressing Love.How do we suppress the Love? We cover it up and whitewash it. We appearto be strong, we manage to carry it off quite well, we dont even admit thatto ourselves. We talk it away, drink it away, smoke it away, work it away.We even pray it away, and even this is happening at a superficial level,because the prayer does not flow through the heart, but only through themind. We are like drowning men, whose forces become less and less.How can we reverse our fears through Love? By accepting them and aboveall taking responsibility. What is not ours, we can not change. We cannotchange the outside, but only our inner Self. So we go where the fearresides, meaning going into our subconscious, where our Inner Child hasthis fear lurking! Lets talk with our Inner Child, lets embrace it. Yes, youmust embrace yourself and sense yourself! Your Inner Child is sensing yourpresence, so you must speak to it as a mother, a father. Only now will theenergies flow, and the chemistry of your body will start to change. Theneurotransmitters flow that message throughout the body from your brain:We love you, we are happy! The muscles relax, the heart expands, youbegin to feel a rising sensation of heat, the eyes glisten, the mind becomescalm ... – It is purely and solely the feeling of Love that you need to change 130
  • 131. within everything around yourself. Our mirrors on the outside will show ushow we have greatly changed.Now you will say. “Yes, but that does not last forever”. – Why not? Be-cause you may have a relapse. Well, then just embrace yourself again. Youare continually doing it with your children, or even with your dog or yourcat. Since we find it works, we stroke our children and pets and animalsagain and again and offer them friendly and comforting praise. We are notthat different from them within our deeper Inner Self, our Soul. We are ourown Inner Child.I hear yet another argument from you: “Yes, but this world around me, Ican not only love everything and everybody, I must define and defend myown Self, I have to show who I am.” Okay, just show it! Show that youhave a big heart! Show the people of the world around you that it can onlywork with the giving of Love. Do you think that a single Man in this “evilworld” is really so bad? Or is he just a victim of his poor, abused InnerChild? Do you not think that the biggest villains out there could not im-prove themselves if only they could learn to love themselves and therebybecome respected by their friends and many others? Of course you have theright to defend and define yourself. Just stay calm and retire. You havenothing to do but love yourself, love your Inner Child, love your partner,your children, your friends. This Love will radiate into your environment,and you contribute to a transformation of the world.Unfortunately, I have to admit that this does not work everywhere. We cannot always save the world, we can only contribute to a better world. But wecan at least save ourselves. Once we have chosen to love, everything nega-tive becomes our past, and it all will be forgiven and forgotten. You can try 131
  • 132. to bring forth many counter arguments, as many as you wish, but I can re-fute every argument brought up with just a single sentence: “It is onlyworking through Love.”How do I know that, you ask? Because God is made up of pure Love! SoLove is the only way forward. I have fully experienced the anxiety, the fearof loss, too. But – I have discovered the power of Love! The more I talkabout Love, the more passionate I become about the subject. And I will bewatching with joy as you blow yourself up out of your ego and graduallycollapse into your Inner Self again. Your heart may open out only slowly,because usually you are stuck within your power of intellect, that whichwas really only created to serve the purposes of your heart. Only if yourmental “Yes, but”, has become a more heart-oriented “Well, maybe”, canwe thank the good Lord that He again has converted another person toLove, and that could be you!For this would be the true conversion to Love. Not just quoting the Biblefrom beginning to end and forever praying! You just need to love! Every-thing else will come by itself. “These things I command you: to love oneanother” (John 15, 17). Even if those who talk professionally about thepower of Love show in various life situations, where clarity and truth has atlast come to Light, that they have barely opened out their hearts, and thisdue to their fear of confrontation with their own Inner Self, their Soul, Iknow, it may be lonely in Paradise. There are many people standing in lineto enter Paradise, but they do not know how to open out their hearts inorder to gain entry.Even with the Love of God we behave with our long acquired and adoptedpatterns. Active Christians may display a Christian piety of doing “good 132
  • 133. deeds” (that means, I must fulfil the need to do something good): “I mustpray three Rosaries every day.” – “I have to go to Communion every day.”These are our targets to ourselves, so that God may love us. Why do we notbelieve that God loves us always? That He loves us even before we dosomething for Him? God IS pure Love, pure Light. He not only Loves, HeIS the Love. Please do not get me wrong: Of course its wonderful to prayto God every day and to join regularly in Communion with Jesus. Thus weshow God that WE indeed love Him and praise Him. With our Rosaryprayers, we ask Mother Mary for Her intercession. We ask for Herassistance in our development. We ask for Her help in humility, in the careand Love to others. But even if we are not doing this, God loves us anywaybecause we are His Children. We may even be doing ourselves a favour ifwe do good unto Him, because by doing that we can give calmness toourselves and even give us the feeling that we are uniting with Him.Uniting ourselves with God, our heart opens automatically; this in turnmakes us healthy, calms us, takes away our worries and fears. Even if wecan not do it sometimes, for whatever reason – God still loves us! He hascreated us and He is our Loving Father forever. Just as you love your child-ren as a mother and father. Of course you do not like everything they do,but you still love them. It should ideally be all-embracing and unconditio-nal. The capacity for Love among mankind depends very strongly on theability to love God. I love God happily, freely and with a pure heart, so Ican love the people in the same way: all-embracing and unconditionally.Love is the natural expression of our own Being.Our ultimate goal is to unite ourselves with God and merge with Him. It isa development, a steady increase in our consciousness. We achieve this in-crease only through our Love, which in turn creates a higher vibrational 133
  • 134. Light Body within us. We cannot rise up from zero to a hundred per centovernight. We need to rise slowly. With only a small heart, we cannot re-ceive Jesus, we would burn up. I have mentioned this in several chapters.This consciousness is perceptible, it is felt in our hearts through theemotion of Love, and can be a very painful experience if we are not pre-pared for it. We should not hope to obtain all the pleasures in the “Here-after” that we deny ourselves in this world. We need in the afterlife waitingfor our descendants to take pity on us for our healing, that we may healourselves through their healing. Why do we trample life on Earth underfoot and hope for something we will never have, if we do not in this lifeprepare for it? We may not be able to receive all the pleasures in life,because we simply are unable to access all our emotions of Love, butnevertheless have to develop it. Every person goes up to the Afterlife withthe amount of heart opening gained on Earth. They cannot jump frombeing an emotionally cold egoist to becoming an exuberant loving person.This would be pure utopia for those who want to escape desperately fromLove.This means that we must as a Human Being on Earth learn to love. Wemust first know what Love means. It is the Love that develops in the heart.It is the Love with which we learn to love ourselves first, and then ourpartner and at the same time all the people around us. It is the Love withwhich we can give each other the strength to be capable for the all-embracing Unconditional Love. * “I think it is impossible that Love can constantly be stepping on to the spot unrequited.” (St. Teresa of Àvila) * 134
  • 135. The Dolorism of ChristianityUnfortunately, many Christians fall prey to the principle of Dolorism, thatof self-punishment. The ban to experience something exhilarating is acommon form of self-punishment. They want to suffer. They think theyhave to suffer because Jesus suffered. It is a form of fiction or thought-blocking, as I previously described in another chapter. We think we have tosuffer.As long as we are thinking we do not love, as also St. Teresa of Àvilaexpressed it: “It is important not to think much, but to love much” (from“The Inner Castle”), I repeat this: God is pure Love, God is joy. His Sondied for us on the Cross so that we can be redeemed and illuminated by theLight of God, the Divine Light. He took us to His Cross so that we canconverge with God, so that we too can experience the Love and joy.Suffering cannot always be avoided. Our Salvation is paved with crises,suffering and misery. We suffer through the loss of a loved one or a lovedpet, we suffer because of unfulfilled Love, we suffer because of an illness.The suffering has a purpose: it makes us grow. Accept every sorrow, everycrisis and every disease as an opportunity for growth! Thus the greatestdistress can make sense.Many people believe they must suffer in order to save their family mem-bers. How can a child be healthy if the mother is always unhappy? Suf-fering produces sorrow – joy produces joy! If the suffering prevails in yourfamily and pushes down everyone, you must first accept it, in order to re-lease it. Take responsibility for it and you realize that you do not need thegrief, because Jesus Christ took upon Himself the suffering. He is risen, 135
  • 136. and therefore we are risen, mature, and happy Christians, having the rightand duty to share this joy in the form of Love.Practice the forgiveness for your family members, as I have explained inthe chapter Forgiveness and Liberation. You will see: You too can stand upagain and live with joy! * “Pray not for lighter loads, but for a stronger back.“ (St. Teresa of Àvila) * 136
  • 137. The EgoIf our heart is aflame with the Love for God and Man, it will feel the needto pour out this Love and send it out to everyone. This Love is an allencompassing force, it relates to Heaven and Earth and all living creaturesand is unconditional, no if’s and but’s; and it is creative, because with thisLove we are creating new Love, healing and well-being. This Love worksby itself, it renders impossible the judging and condemning of others. Andit is endless, because out of its glow arises always another new flame – ourMind with its reason and its will are powerless against that.However, our Ego behaves in a contrary way. It denies Love and sowsjealousy, hatred, violence and war. Because of our ego-centeredness, weremain small and stuck in our development. It prevents our progress on thepath to God. Our Ego lives solely by reason, the will and the Mind. It is asso to speak the “superfluous” Mind. Dualistically thinking, it wants toattract everything to itself, it needs the appreciation and praise of others,from all and at all times; it is sorting out everything for its own benefit andit sets conditions. It is always looking for the mistakes of others in order tocorrect them, thus is placing itself above them. It knows only black andwhite, good and evil, it insists on reward and punishment, in therecognition of the injustice of fate and of unhappy coincidences. It drivesus to the eternal spiral of competitive thinking, being better than others andwinning in games and sports.The Ego is the desperate attempt by the evil within us, keeping us awayfrom our happiness. Why? Because it suspects that it will become ignoredthrough our stronger Love for God and all of His Creation. Because itknows that it can do nothing against the force of our heart and that it will 137
  • 138. eventually be destroyed. The true force of evil within us is not that of theDevil! Apart from mental disorders caused by disease and abuse, it is notthe Devil, but the Ego, which we have needed in the early stages of ourevolution, to prevail over our competitors. Reason and Love were not yetdeveloped in the early stages, there was only the “Law of the Jungle”, andthis was based within our Subconscious, in the form of our instincts andnatural violence in a primitive world..Our progress towards becoming a rational creature with a loving heart hassince accelerated. Now our last step is still missing, which is to banish ourEgo. What we may keep instead is our self-esteem and our Self-Love,which may prevent us from being overwhelmed by others. Do not be afraidof this development, it will go very quickly and almost automatically,because as large as our Ego may be, it can achieve nothing against Love.Just as the darkness is powerless against the Light, so the Ego becomesweak, when the Light of Love shines forth.Live mindfully and consciously in the present, because the Ego hates thepresent. It can only feed from thoughts that deal with the past: “Howbeautiful it was then, so it is not today!” And the future: “It will again soonbe as beautiful as it was before!”Today it is beautiful! The present is your life. In the present you renderyourself completely to life. It is impossible to live or to love in the past orthe future. Try it: Can you love something in the past? How does it work?Once you feel that sense of Love in your heart, youre back in the present.There is no avoiding it. These past and future tenses are constructs of purethought and belong at the best as words in a book, but not in your life in thehere and now. 138
  • 139. “Oh, how I loved her/him!” Did you love, or do you love now? If you lovethe person now, means you are living in the present. Did you love thatperson and no longer love her/him anymore, it is in the past, so it iscompleted. Lick your wounds, and turn back to living. Become humble andask God to stand by your side. It is your purification of the Ego-fixation, itis a part of your vocation to release it and get rid of it.Teresa of Àvila, too, had far more faith in God than the fear of evil. Shetook care to let it die back by contemplative prayers and ascetic practices,the deep-rooted selfishness of the “old man” in the footsteps of theCrucified Christ, in order to become a “new” and internally free andselfless loving Being. For her it was not only about liberating people fromtheir attachment to their possessions and to other persons, but also toachieve a detachment from their own self-centeredness.The easiest way to free yourself from anything is – as well as the sufferingand all the negativity that you do not want anymore – is to first of all ack-nowledge and accept it as yours. Then let it go little by little, by deprivingit of your attention. You do no longer support it, and it will die off. This isthe meaning of the “withering away”, which the Mystics used in theirwritings. It is the letting go of the Ego and the old habits, in short, the oldprimitive Human Being within yourself.Start watching your language: There are words that come only from theEgo: But; however; but yet; and many more. Start with the word but.“But, that was always so!!” This is the expression of defiance of the Ego.Banishing these words from the language will take quite a while. 139
  • 140. Youll see it is possible. I like to bring my favourite sentence into my mind:“Be still, know, I am God!” The Ego cannot harm that thought! This sen-tence simply wipes everything away: “Leave it alone, get out of your mind,enjoy life.” Through these thoughts I can open my heart automatically and Ifind I am connected with God who then guides me on His path. No Ego canwithstand it for any length of time! * “Perfect Love is giving no consideration to selfish interests” (St. Teresa of Àvila) * 140
  • 141. AwarenessAwareness can be done only in the present, it is a state of being. When arewe really ourselves? Usually we find ourselves with our thoughts some-where in the past: “What did I do at that time?” – Or in the future: “Whatwill I be doing?” We like to judge, which is the specialty of our Ego. We tryto rise above others, we attempt to segregate others. Hurt no one, neither inthought, word or deed. And do not hurt yourself. This would suffice as theone single Commandment. We have enough difficulty in keeping it ...All you need for awareness, God has already given you. So you are alreadyperfect. Look into yourself, open your heart. Let it be open wide, let it radi-ate. Establish a relationship with everything. Pay attention to the smallestthings, nothing has come by chance in your life, everything you are watch-ing, is important to you at this time, although it might seem soinsignificant. Behind all this lies a deeper meaning.Love your work, work calmly and deliberately, give it value. You did notsimply come to do this work. There is a reason for it, even if you are un-employed or dissatisfied with your work. The time of unemployment is tobe the time of silence, the time of collection and reflection.Recognize who or what you are. Experience your own value, that whichGod has given you. Be careful with yourself. Be aware of the reactions ofyour family members. Do they lack awareness, are they mindful? Dopeople change around you, as you change yourself?Use your senses, feel your sensuality. Feel as things feel. Are they smooth,rough, warm, cold? Go into Nature, look at every small thing. Have you 141
  • 142. ever admired the immense richness of colours and the variety of leafshapes? Have you ever felt how the leaf of an oak, a horse chestnut tree, alinden tree feels? How does the bark on the trunk feel? How do the flowerslook, what colours do they have and what scent? Close your eyes and payattention to the colours and images that show up in your Minds eye.Take the plug of your MP3 player out of your ears, and listen to the soundsof Nature and the animals. Listen to the sound of water, enjoy the ringinglaughter of children. Recognize the emotions of animals: a bird expressesits courtship quite differently than its cry of alarm over an enemy. You sud-denly hear sounds, whose origin you do not recognize. Do not be surprisedif some day you will hear bells ringing, and you know: “Now can not bethe time for peal of bells!” These instead are the spherical tones in yourhigher consciousness, which is a good sign of your connection to Heaven.Do you realize that you can only use all your senses in the presence?Awareness means presence. All the past fades away, and everythingbecomes good.As a sport, I recommend Tai Chi and Chi Gong in order to centre yourself,and you feel that your inner strength comes out of silence. Muscle strengthis finite, the inner power is endless, because it comes from God and isconstantly flowing through you. You will never get tired, in fact to thecontrary. Your body forms a reservoir of energy, therein the oxygen youbreathe is stored as energetic power. If you fill your body with the righttechnique regularly every morning, a good storage of oxygen needs onlyeight deep breaths before an open window, then you will always haveenough energy available to allow you in case of emergency to mobilize 142
  • 143. your reserve tank of energy, and along with sending a quick prayer toHeaven, this can save you from any situation.Always include Nature’s elements in your life, each element is reflected onthe spiritual plane:Air = thoughts,water = emotions,fire = will,earth = consciousness,ether = God.We have to train our thoughts, we have to master our emotions, strengthenour will and recognize our consciousness – the mastery of those elementsleads to our awakening, to the true transformation of our primal qualitiesinto our own strength. These elements bind our own consciousness to theEarth.Be aware of the Sun, the Moon and the Stars. The Sun warms us, without itwe could not exist. Experience the course of the Sun, its rising and settingand the passage in the morning, midday, evening. Each part of the day hasits own dynamics, its own charm. The Moon and the Stars will lead us intothe hidden areas. They too can we experience through being attentive.The darkness of night is to us mysterious, surrounding us with silence.Many fear the night and its darkness. This is largely because they do notwant to accept the dark within themselves. Discover the light in the dark-ness of the night. The objects appear to us differently in the light of thenight, even though they be the same ones during the day. Even the noises of 143
  • 144. the night change in our perception. Its just a question of our own assess-ment of their qualities.Forget the questions arising from the mental mind: “Why, how come,wherefore?” – “Why is something as it is?” Do not worry. The knowledgearises from within yourself, from your deepest inside. Your questionsoriginate from a fear of not being good enough or of losing something orsomeone. You may not realise that you have everything you need! Whatyou lose and will not be coming back, you in fact do not need. If you reallylove it, you will keep it forever in your heart, with loving thoughts and withno pain.What you need the most is God, He is always with you. Accept it: Life islike that. Take responsibility for the life that God is giving you every day.Be grateful and humble, and deal carefully with yourself.It is important what you feel and how you feel about yourself. You can ofcourse only find out the correct answer if you are fully aware as of now. Ifyou are living in the present. Pay attention to your Inner Child. This Beingin your deepest inner self. This Inner Child, which can be hurt so much andat the same time is able to love so much.Do you feel good now? Take a deep breath, be quiet and open your heart.“Be still, know, I am God”. Water, the element of emotions, comes fromGod and flows through you into every cell of your body, to the depths ofyour Soul. Love God, thank God that He was always with you, still is andalways will be. Immerse yourself in prayer, in contemplation. You willimmediately feel the Love in your heart. It gets warm, it expands, youbecome calm, and are doing well. 144
  • 145. You will become accustomed to performing your steps and actionscarefully and with awareness. You will become inwardly silent and radiatethis peace. It gives you access to your higher consciousness. You feel Godspresence. Then you feel yourself again, you feel a deep peace. And youcome to realize that God is within you, you have found Him – He hasfound you! The search is over, your longing is satisfied. And suddenly youknow: He was always with you, at birth, your first day at school, your firstLove, within all the large and small events of your life. You were neverseparated from each other, you have only forgotten it temporarily.Let this Love flow through your heart. You now feel a sense of happiness,satisfaction and beauty. You become completely in the here and now. Youfeel your aliveness in every fibre of your body and are yet very calm andrelaxed. You are in motion and in silence simultaneously. * “I cannot accept how one can have or could have humility without Love or Love without humility.” (St. Teresa of Àvila) * 145
  • 146. EnlightenmentLiving as a whole and accepting Love, taking every facet of ones beingand loving it, and making the Soul a temple to God, that is the way toenlightenment. Then God will reward you for your efforts, what in Christi-anity would be called the Vision of God, Enlightenment or Salvation – andI speak only for Christianity in this book.It is Gods grace, His thanks for your prayers, the louder outward prayersand the inner quiet ones, and for opening your heart, which might be verypainful and cause many tears. It is His appreciation of your courage inwalking through your own inner desert areas, transforming your pride intohumility, and casting off on the way your last bastion, your Ego. Finallyyou will become a permeable channel, surrendering completely to Him.Then the time has come, God will transform your Soul into an immortalLight-body. This will be your spiritual rebirth. Gods Light shines throughyou and brightens all the darkness around you. The Heaven in you, youraccess to God, has fully opened. So the Salvation for which Jesus Christdied on the Cross for can be finalised and turned into your ownenlightenment. Even in this life on Earth, your Soul comes from God and istherefore immortal. It was, and it is, and always will be – in Heaven, aswell as on Earth.So also here on Earth it is already feasible, what is otherwise commonlyheld to be possible only in the “Afterlife”, within the limitations of spaceand time. Even being in our physical body, we can expand ourconsciousness and accommodate ourselves down here entirely to God. Toaccommodate to Him means to love Him, to surrender to Him. It requires 146
  • 147. neither wisdom nor any special skills – the ability to open one’s heart to anall-embracing Love is the greatest that a Human Being is capable of –providing all that which is not needed within oneself has been allowed todie away.By increasing consciousness all barriers between Souls will fall down. Asin the Hereafter, so we can connect even in this world with a single thoughtwith every other Soul, regardless of whether or not it is embodied. Perhapseven now you may have noticed that you only have to think of a person andthen he is already within your heart. You are invisibly connected with allthe people around you – and of course with all the animals, too, – and witheverything in Creation. That which is usually associated withparapsychology, can prove to be the ultimate way of communicating.I have to admit that it is not like everything is perfect. The ups and downsof life can be exhausting. The mystical experiences resemble the near-deathexperiences. St. Teresa also compares her mystical experiences with death.We are experiencing something that can set our own little world on fire, ourheart can be torn and cries out for healing – and our Soul desires nothingmore than to return to its peaceful state again.Until we finally know what really happened to us, we constantlyexperience the everyday madness of physical life. Questions uponquestions are driven between God and the World, Heaven and Earth,between our longing for death and at the same time clinging to MotherEarth, always looking for someone who is able to understand us, advise us,and perhaps even save us. 147
  • 148. Even in Church, especially before and after the services, which can bringus, at least in the short term, to the spiritual spheres longed-for, we have toprotect ourselves from those who do not give us the respect of another andthrough their insensitivity and ignorance neither feel for nor care whathappens to us or allow us our inner silence.Like Saint Teresa of Àvila, we have to perfect our growing process ofcontemplation and our transformation up to enlightenment. “The Soul per-ceives that it is united with God,” she says. “And it remains such acertainty that it cannot quite ever drop this belief. I was not initially awarethat God is indeed within all things, and it seemed to me so impossible thatHe was so present within me, and how that was to feel.”We are leaving the Earthly duality; we are mergeing with God, become at-one with Him, and we are experiencing the ultimate mystery of Creation.The Veil is falling, we know everything, we discern everything – these arethe “Waters of Life” of which Jesus spoke of.Then the previously unimaginable happens: Time goes backwards! Fromthe Unio Mystica back to the You to God and the We with all people. Wecan truly live again! Of course, no longer behind the Veil as before. Lifenow means: to love and to be loved. To love God and to be loved by Him.To love all Human Beings and in return to be loved by them, or at least bythose who are on the same level. There is nothing in between, and there areno more secrets.We are united in our Soul in different bodies, until we will eventually passeven this limit and live free from time and space in the true Paradise. Sofar, I have always smiled at our Priests who spoke of Paradise, and thought: 148
  • 149. “Yes, you are obliged to talk this way ...” Now I know that these are notjust empty words. It is true; Paradise does exist, and indeed exists for allthose who decide for it. It already begins on this beautiful Earth! * “The idea that we could go to Heaven, without going within ourselves and without recognizing our true Self, is stupid and absurd. “ (St. Teresa of Àvila) * 149
  • 150. XIII. Do we need a new Mysticism?We do not need a new mysticism. We need new mystics. We need peoplewith the courage to live the mysticism – convinced by their unity with Godin order to be able to bear their witness to it. We need people who arelighting up in themselves the mystery of life, the ultimate reality we callGod, and let pass the Light on to their fellow Human Men. We need peopleto burn for their Love, their passion for God. We need people who arewilling for a Love relationship with God.We need a Church, more exactly people in the Church, who are acceptingand supporting the mystics of us, the mystics who are following Gods calland always move forward to satisfy their yearning. We need Priests andMonastic people who themselves again become mystics and give thebelievers the chance to find and to live the ultimate reality we call God.We need scientists who are committed to God, such as Albert Einstein:"The most beautiful and most profound sense we can experience is theperception of the mystic. It is the source of all true science. The man whodoes not know this feeling, who can not be astonished and not stand in awebefore something, is almost dead. To know that the inscrutable to us reallyexists, reflecting as the highest wisdom and most radiant beauty, which ourdull capacity can only understand in its most primitive forms, thisknowledge, this emotion forms the center of real Religion."The people surching for their spiritual identity have lost access to theknowledge of God by experience, and they ignore the fact that Christianityand they themselves as Divine Beings are already carrying all the wisdom 150
  • 151. which they want to purchase in the supermarket of the wellness-religionsand the religious practices from all over the world.This knowledge can only be experienced through the opening of the heartto Love. Its the only way that growth and maturation of the Soul towardsenlightenment can happen. If the general awareness of people arises, andthis is currently happening very rapidly, the Veil is lifting, and theenlightenment of the many will relieve the mysticism of the few. Themysticism will lose its aura of mystery, and that is exactly Gods will. Hewants no exclusion, no favouritism, He wants all of us.Lets start with the common thread of all spiritual attainments which iscalled: The Love of Infinite Love. * God is Love * “God alone is enough” (Teresa of Àvila) * 151
  • 152. Nice Words from nice People:What is Mysticism?“Above all, I personally experience the mysticism if I live as if it was inevery moment about everything. When Love is in progress, which includesthe delivering, then time is also dissolving (people often are too short oftime, so they do not understand the here and now). This is a piece of mysti-cism for me personally. A key to the mystique means also: “Who isguarding the words from my mouth?” In short: the silence. Speaking andonly open ones mouth if every word is from a truly emotional decision. –And also the belief in the garment of humility is something important.Humility teaches us to suffer everything, humility brings the Soul throughthe “he who humiliates himself, is thereby increased”, to hand overeverything to God for His greater glory. The Faith: An arrow flies, the moreit is taut. The bending of the bow is from our pride, and if we are sufferingthe bending with joy, then the arrow may cling better to our redemptionand salvation.Nice words may well be transfered onto the pavements of the world – butwhat would we be, Monika, if our Soul was without the insights of theGospel to spread out its wings of poetry ...Related in Faith, Hope, LoveMichael J.“ ********** 152
  • 153. “Mysticism – what does it mean for me? Can we explain it in words orwould it not be better to feel it inside? If I empathise, I experience God inHis infinity. God is Love. God is everywhere. In recognizing this, I see thateverything is somehow connected and belongs together. Every creature,whether plant, animal or human. All is one.However this is not yet available to everyone. We carry in ourself the faithand the knowledge – one can not touch or see it. This in turn makes it anyeasier. Nevertheless, it is for me the secret of BEING. The secret of Lifebeyond the limits.Therefore it is worthwhile to remain open to hearing, feeling and togrowing continually in ones confidence with God .”(Ulrike Maria Roth) ***********“I can most likely describe Mysticism, that God gave me a really wonderfulaccess to the unfathomable YOU of His Being, thus entrusting me with akind of key to open certain spaces and look into them, whilst others muststill remain hidden.I am filled with the gift of His trust again and again with great gratitude andhumility.”(Frank K.) ************ 153
  • 154. “The Absolute Creator, whom we generally refer to as God, has made itabundantly clear that a successful evolutionary path can only be undertakenthrough expressing a fundamental motivation of Love towards others. Thisis particularly so in expressing True Love or “Unconditional Love”, whichwillingly gives forth Love without asking for anything in return. However,Love is normally returned in equal measure as part of the great “Law ofAttraction” in which “like attracts like”.Unconditional Love includes showing a caring respect and consideration ofothers, compassion for those in difficulties and a non-judgmental forgive-ness of the faults within others. Freely giving forth Love is a way ofuplifting people without imposing upon their freewill. We should always beready to extend a helping hand down to our less endowed brethren to helplift them up to our own level. It is only through constantly giving forth ourtotal unreserved Love to others and in recognizing our totalinterdependence with all of the rest of Creation, that we will ever be able tocreate a more perfect and harmonious world.Monika Petry as a Healer and a Mystic over many years and despite themany difficulties encountered, has herself shown us a shining example ofthe expression of Love towards others. We salute her as she continues todevote her life towards the healing of others and in particular to those whoare not able to give her anything financial in return, except their gratitudeand Love.“Lawrence Sartorius, Author of The New Earth, Canada, February, 2011 * 154
  • 155. Literature St. Teresa of ÀvilaThe quotes used in this book come from:1) The Book of my Life (Das Buch meines Lebens)Collected Works Volume 1published by Ulrich v. Dobhan OCD / OCD Elisabeth Peeters© Verlag Herder Freiburg 20012) Way of Perfection (Weg der Vollkommenheit)Collected Works Volume 2published by Ulrich v. Dobhan OCD / OCD Elisabeth Peeters© Verlag Herder Freiburg im Breisgau3) The Interior Castle (Das Buch der Gründungen)Edited and translated by Fritz Vogelsangwww.diogenes.ch4) The Book of Foundations (Das Buch der Gründungen)E-Book, ed. Ulrich v. Dobhan OCD / OCD Elisabeth PeetersComplete retransmission. Collected Works Volume 5© Verlag Herder Freiburg 2007 * 155
  • 156. Appendix TransverberationIn my discourses in this book and about Teresa of Àvila I have noticed thatthe concept of Transverberation is little known to people. I find thisprocess significant enough to explain it in this appendix of my book:Gian Lorenzo Bernini, 1598-1680, was one of the most important Italiansculptors and architects of the Baroque. He was inspired by anautobiographical narrative of Teresa and formed a beautiful marblesculpture of the transfixion of her heart, the Transverberation, whoseimaginative vision Teresa described in her Book of Life as follows:“It pleased the Lord that I saw a few times a vision. I saw an Angelstanding next to me, on my left side, in a bodily form, I have usually notseen. Even if Angels are often presented to me, but without directly seeingthem, they appear to be rather like that in the previous vision, of which Ihave previously spoken. In this new vision the Lord wanted me to see theAngel as follows: He was not great, rather smallish, very beautiful, with aface so bright that he was apparently one of the very exalted Angels wholook as if they were all surrounded in flames. It must probably be the oneof those that are called Cherubim; they never tell me their names, but I amwell aware, that there is in Heaven a big difference between the one and theother Angels, and these and others, such a big difference, which I could notentirely describe. I saw in his hands a long golden arrow, and at the tip ofthis a small flame seemed licking. It was as if he were pushing it into myheart several times, and then he would advance it further into my intestines.When he pulled it out, I felt as if he would tear them out, leaving meabsolutely burning with the strong Gods Love. The pain was so severe that 156
  • 157. it made me moaning, but at the same time the tenderness that came withthis heavy pain was so overwhelming that there was not even any desire topass it by, nor would it be that the Soul would be as content with less thanGod. This is not a bodily but a spiritual pain, though the body doescertainly share it, and even quite a lot. Its such a tender caress happeninghere between the Soul and God, that I please Him in His loving kindness tolet it taste the person, who thinks I would be lying. On the days when itlasted, I was stunned. I wanted to see and talk about nothing else butsurrender to pain, which meant more glory to me than all that exists in thecreated world.I experienced a few times when the Lord wanted me to go through theseraptures; they were so powerful that I could not oppose them, even if I wasamongst people, so that they became, to my chagrin, gradually knownabout. Since I am experiencing them, I no longer feel this pain so strongly,but I feel the One with whom I used to speak elsewhere – I do notremember in which chapter –, and in many respects it is quite different andmore valuable. On the contrary, when the pain of which I am now speakingstarts, it looks as if our Lord would rapture the Soul and put into ecstasy,and so it is no longer possible to feel pain or suffering, because then theenjoying starts immediately.”Those events, that penetrated Teresa of Àvila into the deepest roots of herbeing, was a deep, though not yet the final union with God. There isnothing similar on the physical level, which compares. Similar occurenceshappened to St. John of the Cross and St. Padre Pio, upon whom five weekslater appeared the wounds of Christ (stigmata). I would also like to addwithin this topic two comments from Teresa in her book “The Inner Castle,7th Apartment”: 157
  • 158. “Ive said it once, that despite these comparisons – which I use, becausethere are no more appropriate ones – you must be aware that there is solittle thought given to physical aspects, as if the Soul was no longerremaining within the body. Here is only the Spirit involved. And yet muchless is the spiritual marriage corporeal, for this Secret Union takes place inthe middle of the innermost Soul, that means at the place where God dwellsHimself.”“For every one of us has a Soul, only we do not appreciate it as it should bedeserved as being of a creature that is created in the image of God, andtherefore do not recognize the great mysteries that are hidden within it.” *Sometimes it is even appropriate to silence in a book. I therefore remainsilent in awe of this Soul. * 158
  • 159. THANKSI thank the people who encouraged me to write this book and helped mewith its composition. God probably wanted it to be written quite some timeago, but at that time I was not ready to come forth. I was looking for thesilence. And I found silence – in writing.I thank Father Dr. theol. Ulrich Dobhan OCD, Provincial of the DiscalcedCarmelites in Munich, for his kind permission of the quotes from the booksof St. Teresa of Àvila.I thank the publisher of this book and also each individual reader. I hopeyou may find valuable ideas for your life and may the Light of God shinewithin you. Please pass the Light onwards!Thank you. * “Who does not love ones neighbour, does not also love You, My Lord” (Teresa of Àvila) * 159