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Social Parenting 101

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When it comes to social media - Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Google+, and all the rest - most of us are still trying to keep up with our kids. Where do you turn to try and understand what all the fuss …

When it comes to social media - Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Google+, and all the rest - most of us are still trying to keep up with our kids. Where do you turn to try and understand what all the fuss is about, what they might be doing there, and what both the risks and opportunities for relationship building might be?

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  • 1. Social Parenting 101CURTIS MIDDLE SCHOOL • DECEMBER 4, 2012 ©2012 @MIKETRAP, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 1
  • 2. about.me/miketrap ©2012 @MIKETRAP, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 2COPYRIGHT  ©  2012  ACTIFIO  
  • 3. The Crew©2012 @MIKETRAP, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 3
  • 4. The Look©2012 @MIKETRAP, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 4
  • 5. My Best Advice•  Bad things can happen. Being concerned about them is not a strategy for preventing them.•  Educating yourself empowers you to help, and can even enrich your own relationships.•  A process, aligning freedom & responsibility.•  Contracts provide clarity, transparency, control.•  Focus on preventing mistakes they can’t recover from. Learn to live with the rest. ©2012 @MIKETRAP, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 5
  • 6. Social Media: The Good•  Connecting a global society.•  Enables relationship building.•  Based on “Pull,” Not “Push.”•  Keeps them plugged in to what’s up.•  Keeps you plugged in to them. ©2012 @MIKETRAP, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 6
  • 7. Our kids will be more mobile than us, but may never lose touch with their first grade classmates. ©2012 @MIKETRAP, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 7
  • 8. “Social media is like a cocktail party...” ©2012 @MIKETRAP, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 8
  • 9. Social Networks “The Big Three”“The Eddie Haskell’s”“The Sneaky Selfies” ©2012 @MIKETRAP, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 9
  • 10. “SoMoLoCo”•  Anything Social is Mobile.•  Anything Mobile is Local.•  Anything Local is Commercial.•  All of it is Commercial. ©2012 @MIKETRAP, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 10
  • 11. A Moving Target•  300 new mobile apps / day•  Most are “social”•  Which are your kid using?•  One of you use them.•  Insist on transparency.•  Agree to invisibility. ©2012 @MIKETRAP, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 11
  • 12. Social Media: The Bad•  Like the world: Priests, and Perverts.•  Plus a few Priest Perverts.•  Anonymous, and personal.•  Always on.•  Digital = Permanent. ©2012 @MIKETRAP, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 12
  • 13. Amanda Todd ©2012 @MIKETRAP, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 13COPYRIGHT  ©  2012  ACTIFIO  
  • 14. The Problem Ability To Create Harmful Consequence DangerMagnitude Zone Time ©2012 @MIKETRAP, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 14
  • 15. A Strategy*•  Focus on the process.•  Define reasonable rules. Get buy-in.•  Gradual… at your speed, not theirs.•  The price of freedom is trust.•  Earned, with time and good judgment.*Your Mileage May Vary ©2012 @MIKETRAP, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 15
  • 16. Facebook Usage Contract between Jane Smith & her parentsI know that having a Facebook account is a privilege. I respect that my parentslove me and want to keep me safe. My parents respect that I am becoming ayoung adult and want the privilege of having a Facebook account. With that inmind, we agree:1.  I understand that my parents expect full transparency regarding the content on my Facebook page/account. They can access my account at any time, and I must share my password with them and notify them if it is ever changed.2. I will receive 1 hour each day of “social screen time.” Social screen time includes: Facebook use on the computer or cell phone; cell phone use (texting, apps, games, etc.); and non-homework related computer time (email, YouTube, Chat, etc.). If I am working on a project for fun, such as a video, more screen time will be allowed. ©2012 @MIKETRAP, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 16
  • 17. Facebook Usage Contract between Jane Smith & her parents3.  I will respect “device free time” which includes during meals, time in the car immediately after school, and time spent with visiting family members.4.  I agree that if I am unable to keep up with my household responsibilities, or if I demonstrate untrustworthy behavior, my Facebook account can be taken away from me.5.  I will not use Facebook account for any malicious or inappropriate purposes (teasing, bullying, intimidation, etc.) I will remember that what I post becomes permanent and that I should never post something I wouldn’t feel comfortable saying directly to a person’s face. If I violate this policy, my Facebook account can be taken away from me. ©2012 @MIKETRAP, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 17
  • 18. Facebook Usage Contract between Jane Smith & her parents6.  If it is determined that my Facebook account is distracting me to the point where I exceed my social screen time limits, or my schoolwork suffers, or impacts my interaction with family members, my Facebook account can be taken away from me.7.  I will abide by all of these rules and understand that if they are not followed or if I attempt to circumvent them, there will be consequences including the loss of my Facebook privilege. Jane Smith Michael Smith Jane Smith Michael Smith Jinny Jones Sarah Smith Jinny Jones Sarah Smith ©2012 @MIKETRAP, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 18
  • 19. The Talk•  “I respect your right to make your own mistakes. My job is to keep you from making mistakes you can’t recover from.”•  “In 4 years, you’ll own the consequences of your choices. We’re going to move from here to there together, at the rate I decide.”•  “I take this very seriously, because I love you. I expect you to do the same.” ©2012 @MIKETRAP, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 19
  • 20. My Best Advice•  Bad things can happen. Being concerned about them is not a strategy for preventing them.•  Educating yourself empowers you to help, and can even enrich your own relationships.•  A process, aligning freedom & responsibility.•  Contracts provide clarity, transparency, control.•  Focus on preventing mistakes they can’t recover from. Learn to live with the rest. ©2012 @MIKETRAP, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 20
  • 21. Q&A ©2012 @MIKETRAP, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 21
  • 22. thank you. @miketrap