1 ASTROGNOME!EPISODE 2: PATH OF THE RAZORBEAST by Michael Hill teamastrognome.wordpress.com
2 EXTERIOR - ALLEYWAY - NIGHT It’s a dark alleyway. There are two dumpsters against oneside, with a four foot space in between. We get a sidewaysview at the dumpsters, with one on the left side of the frame,one on the right. It seems for a second to be similar to apuppet show, as first WATTERSON and then DAVIS rise out of theirrespective dumpsters. WATTERSON’s torso thrusts out of his dumpster as if he isbeing shoved into place from below, and he looks around, stiffwith wonder and excitement. He looks up and left (his left) andup and right. WATTERSON (exalted and boisterous) Earth!? DAVIS’S head slowly rises, peering around cautiously,stunned. It stops with his chin about level with the top of thedumpster. WATTERSON vaults out of his dumpster. A few pieces ofrefuse come drifting down as he lands. Davis slowly sinks backdown into his dumpster, stilled. WATTERSON (as if a different character who is in hearty agreement, talking to himself, in this case yelling) Earth! At this moment we cut to DAVIS’S face in his dumpster, ashe is sitting crouched inside. His face is partiallyilluminated by the moon and ambient light of the city. He looksscared and cringes at the sound of “Earth!” being yelled in thedistance by WATTERSON. Cut back to a close-up of Watterson’s face as he emergesout of the alley and into the sidewalk. Directly across thestreet are two hookers, dressed sort of like Nancy from ‘Sid andNancy.’ WATTERSON Yeeeeah! Rock and Roll!
3 He’s looking at them madly, intensely. The two hookerslook at WATTERSON, then at themselves, a little concerned. Oneputs her hand on the the other’s arm and ushers her away anddown the street. WATTERSON (under his breath, as he looks around wide-eyed and scampers around in a circle across the street and sidewalk, looking up at the brick buildings) Ancient Earth...Ancient Earth...Ancient Earth. Cut back to DAVIS in the dumpster, as he is sitting in aball with his knees in front of his torso. He is clutching hishead with both hands, shaking it a little from side to side.Suddenly he swings an arm violently into a pile of trash beside.When he pulls it back, a burger wrapper is stuck to his sleevewith remnants of melted cheese. He thrashes his arm back andforth but it won’t come off. Finally he grabs the wrapper andpulls it off with his free hand. Then he notices writing on thewrapper. His lament pauses for a moment as this catches hisinterest. DAVIS (under his breath) Advertising.......Advertising--I am king... I am king. As Davis says this last sentence, he looks up from thewrapper, as if acknowledging his surroundings. He regains hispoise, his dignity. Cut back to WATTERSON freaking out in the street.Headlights appear in the distance. He stops in the middle ofthe street and stares at them, smiling joyfully. The lights getcloser and closer, then the vehicle blows its horn. WATTERSONkind of jolts at this like a dog would, but doesn’t stopsmiling, and doesn’t move, as he is increasingly blinded heraises his hand to shelter his eyes. The truck is gettingcloser and not stopping. Suddenly an arm grabs WATTERSON by the sleeve of his upperarm and yanks him out of the path of the truck and onto thesidewalk. It’s DAVIS.
4 DAVIS Standing in the roadway will get you crushed on any planet! WATTERSON Harley Davison! You’re here! DAVIS Eh, Harley is my stage name. You can call me Davis. WATTERSON (spreading his arms out and looking up and around as if gesturing to the city itself) Rock and Roll! DAVIS ...I’m sure they...have a place here, somewhere, for people like you. Goodbye. WATTERSON (clutches the lapels on Davis’s jacket) Wait! Harley! We can play our music here with the Earthlings! The Spirit brought us here! DAVIS Our music? Say, I wonder what that is? Davis points down the street. A crappy white subcompact car is coming down the street andslowing down near the corner in front of Watterson and Davis.Awful, aggressive, horn music is blasting from the stereo withthe windows rolled down. A slobby looking, Mario-mustachedPolish man gets out and walks around to the passenger side backseat and opens the door. A days growth of stubble covers hisface, (beyond the mustache) and neck, and his arms have acovering of thick dark hair. A light blue
5pin-striped cloth cap is pulled low on his head, with greasycurls of dark brown hair spilling out of the back, hangingthickly, but not below his neck. Hes wearing a big stained white t-shirt somewhat tightlyover a protruding gut, tucked into what looks like a pair ofstriped boxer-shorts, but are simply very unfashionable shorts.He has high socks tucked into worn, loafer looking shoes.Theres a big gold colored watch hanging loosely on his wrist. Watterson is distracted from his conversation with Davisand takes a few steps toward the man, gawking like a five-year-old. The man notices Watterson out of the corner of his eye butignores him. The man pulls a bounded stack of freebienewspapers out of the back seat of his car and hauls it over toa plastic newspaper kiosk on the corner, which is chained to astreet light. Watterson watches at an uncomfortable closeness,with a slight open-mouthed smile and enthusiastic eyes. The Polish man grabs a small stack of old newspapers out ofthe kiosk and shoves it between his arm and torso. He throws inthe new stack and cuts off the binding, pulling it off. As hestands and turns around back toward the car, there is Watterson,staring him straight in the face with his gaze of wonder. Theman pauses for a second, with a kind of ‘What the fuck?’ look onhis face. With Watterson standing about two feet away, the manmakes a disgusting hawking sound with his throat, turns his headand then spits on the sidewalk. Watterson, still with a joyousexpression on his face, turns his head slightly to see theresult of this, and the joy in his expression seems to ever-so-slightly waver into bewilderment. The Polish man then continuestoward the car, throws the old newspapers onto the backseatfloor, walks around, gets in, and speeds off, with the sound ofa manual shift sputtering up into third gear in the distance. Watterson turns back around to where Davis had been. WATTERSON Harley? Watterson looks around. Davis is gone.
6 WATTERSON Harley! In the distance, the horizon is getting that pre-dawn glow.EXTERIOR - PARK - EARLY MORNING Davis is walking along the walkway through the park, ata medium speed, thinking to himself. He comes across a mansitting on a bench, feeding crumbs to pigeons. DAVIS Excuse me Sir, may I ask you a question? The man is something like a hobo Morgan Freeman, sittingcasually on a wooden park bench. He has a drab, olive greenjacket on, and a navy blue old style cap. He has a littleplastic bag full of crumbs. Two or three pigeons are hoppingaround on the sidewalk in front of him. (the man looks Davis up and down.) MAN Why not. DAVIS In which direction may I find the largest convergence of wealth and religion? MAN ...Why you ask that. INTERIOR - CHURCH - SUNDAY MORNING SERVICE Organ music blairs. We see a view of the pulpit from theperspective of the audience. The organ stops. Its silent fora few moments, except for the sound of people settling in thepews. As a preacher appears from side-stage, they come to ahush. The preacher appears to be stumbling a little. Hisspeech is slurred and hes clutching a tall silver aluminum can.
7 PREACHER Frens...I have just met the most delightful young man--out doing the lords work, in his own way, and he just wanted a chans to share somethin very special with yall. Come on up here, Mister Davis. Davis energetically pops on stage, carrying a shabby woodencane. He has cleaned up his suit the best he can, and has ayellow flower pinned on his lapel. He steps to the podium, asthe Preacher half-collapses into a folding chair to the side.Davis looks up at the large wooden cross with a Christ above.It has the typical slim, muscular White Jesus. DAVIS (in a loud show-man voice) Wanna be slim, like your Savior? (he points with the cane to Christ above) Friends, Im here today to share the lords blessing with you! What I have here has cured me of sin and syphilis alike. One can of Christ O Mighty Malted Medicine Beverage-- (holds up silver shiny aluminum can, framing it with motion from his cane handle) --will sanctify your ills for eight to twelve hours per serving. Just take Jesus into your mouth two times a day --your belly fat will disappear over- night, your mood will brighten during day, and if its still not clear: Friends, this holy elixir will extinguish Satan from your body--more specifically, from the bowels. Only Nine-Ninety- Nine per sixty-four ounce container. Come get it now--I will cherish the benefits--I mean to benefit the charity--of my choice!
8 Davis slams his cane down on the pulpit, making a sharpcracking sound. He pauses...Looks to his left toward the Organplayer. He smacks the cane again as hes looking over: DAVIS (annoyed and a little winded) Miss Timmons, we agreed this was the signal to play- The Organ suddenly blairs to life playing Hallelujah.Davis looks relieved and turns back toward the audience, smilingbroadly. They arent a young bunch. More like the bingo crowd,but well dressed. They sit, staring motionless for a moment.Davis is still glowering at them intensely. Someone in the backeventually gets up and starts slowly shuffling down the carpettoward the pulpit, fishing for his wallet in his back pocket.Then another person gets up, then another, until slowly thewhole congregation start walking toward the front and forming aline. The preacher passes out and falls out of his chair. Davis has a broad smile as he makes welcoming gestures withhis arms. He slowly nods his head. DAVIS (though a false smile, under his breath, sing-songy) ....give me your money...give me your money...EXTERIOR - SIDEWALK - DAY THUG Give me your money. Watterson is clutching his stomach, as he has just beenpunched and is rolling around on the ground, doubled over. WATTERSON We...We are brothers in the age of Rock and Roll...All I have for you- (gasps breath of air) -is my love.
9 THUG (pauses) ...Dude...you be off your pills My uncle...He the same way... I feel bad man. Come on, Ill help you out. The thug leans over and clasps Wattersons arm and startsto pull him up. Watterson smiles and nods approval.INTERIOR - MENTAL HOSPITAL - DAY Watterson is shoved out of a revolving door and into thebright, white tiled mental hospital lobby. The entranceconverges with a hallway that leads inward. The thug wavesgoodbye as he revolves back outside. THUG Peace! Watterson smiles and nods and is kind of blindly stompingforward toward the hallway and away from the lobby.. SECURITY GUARD (O.S.) Sir. Watterson is looking back toward the front door, justrealizing that the thug has ditched him, when the security guardcomes up from the side and swings his night-stick into the backof Wattersons knees, collapsing him to the floor. The securityguard leans down a little and looks intently into Wattersonseyes. The guard clutches a black radio in one hand. SECURITY GUARD ...I said Sir...How you doin Sir? ...How you doin today? Watterson just stares up at the guard for a moment, thenbreaks into tears and starts crying. The security guard startspatting and clutching his shoulder.
10 SECURITY GUARD Its okay Sir. Well take care of ya Sir. Itll be okay. Watterson clutches the guards arm and continues to cry,and smile and laugh a little as he starts to recover. The guardnods in understanding and smiles kindly, and Watterson starts tosmile as well and appears calmed for a moment. Suddenly two white-shirted goons come up from behind andgrab Watterson around each arm, hauling him up and dragging himdown the hall into the hospital. Watterson starts bawling, atabout 7 LBS (out of 10 on the Lucille Ball Scale). Wattersonsheels drag smoothly over the tile as two more men startstrapping him into a straight-jacket.INTERIOR - MENS CLOTHING STORE - DAY We see a full length dressing mirror. Davis steps intoview in the mirror, dressed in a sleek, modern grey businesssuit. He has shaved and styled his hair, and could now pass asa lawyer or politician. DAVIS Wrap it up, please. Davis motions to a petite, shy, early-twenties lookingAsian woman who is serving him. She is wearing a knee-lengthpink skirt and white blouse. Her hair is tied back by a scarletred ribbon that hangs down a little. SALES GIRL Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir. She bows gracefully and Davis smiles appreciatively.
11 Cut to: Cash register rings up $736.00. The sales girl turns thescreen toward Davis sheepishly, as he stands across the counter.He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a folded wad of bills.He surreptitiously counts it below the level with the counter,then pauses a moment and looks up toward the sales girl. DAVIS Excuse me, young lady? SALES GIRL Yes? DAVIS Do you have a supervisor I could speak to? SALES GIRL Uh-is there a problem with- DAVIS Noo-no. No problem whatsoever! (shakes his head side to side, laughing a little) Um, if you dont mind...please, its nothing, really, just go get him for me, my dear. SALES GIRL (smiles understandingly) Yes Sir. She walks away and comes back in a moment with an middle-aged Asian man, somewhat like George Takei. SUPERVISOR May I help you Sir?
12 DAVIS Uh, yes... (looks over at the sales girl) I dont suppose we could have some privacy...I dont suppose? The sales girl looks a little stunned, and looks over atthe Supervisor, who nods and motions for her to go over there.She walks away from them, into the foreground of the camerashot. We see Davis and the Supervisor having their conversationin the background. We can make out their general expressionand gestures, but cant hear what theyre saying, just mumbling.We hear the sales girl kind of catching her breath under herthroat, as she is near the camera, observing the conversationnervously, pretty much from the same point of view. Davis is speaking intently with the Supervisor, andglancing toward the sales girl every once-in-awhile. It isclear they are talking about her, and Davis is insinuatingsomething about her behavior, or some mishap or insult thatoccurred. Davis starts making obscure gestures with his handsand arms as he tells the Supervisor some story. The Supervisor looks shocked, and looks over at the salesgirl, who instinctively clasps her hand to her mouth in fear anddistress. Finally, it appears Davis and the Supervisor are inagreement, and the Supervisor nods sternly and motions towardthe register. He walks around to the register and punches somebuttons. The price cha-chings down from $736 to $436. Davislooks at it, then makes some more exclamations and bizarregestures to the Supervisor, and waves wildly toward the salesgirl with his arm. The Supervisor looks over at her, thinks fora moment, gets an angry look on his face and smacks his fist onthe counter. He again nods his head in stern agreement. Hepunches some more buttons and the screen cha-chings from $436 to$36. He shakes his head in shame as he takes two twenty dollarbills from Davis. As the Supervisor is counting change out, thesales-girl falls to her knees in the foreground, still clutchingher hand to her mouth.
13INTERIOR - OUTSIDE DOOR TO MENTAL HOSPITAL ROOM - NIGHT The two goons are standing guard outside of Wattersonscell/room. We glimpse Watterson through the window in the door,strapped into the straightjacket, with his mouth gagged. He istrying to yell and speak, and is running around in circles inthe cell. The 1st guard sighs at having to listen to this racket.Watterson kicks the door with his foot, making a thumping sound. 1ST GUARD Alright. Ive had it. Im going to shut this guy up. 2ND GUARD Be my guest. The 2nd Guard gets out his keys and unlocks the door.The 1st guard goes inside and we hear him mumbling sternly toWatterson. We hear Watterson mumble back in agreement. Thenthe guard starts going on again about something. Suddenly wehear a swift commotion, and the slumping of a body. The 2ND Guard jolts to action and throws open the door.The 1st guards body is lying there slumped on the floor, exceptthe head is completely missing. Watterson is standing there with his eyes as wide as canbe, looking between the headless body on the floor and the 1stGuard. The 1st Guard cant even summon a scream, he is sohorrified, his voice seizes up to a raspy whisper. 1ST GUARD Wha-wha-Whered his head!?!? Watterson, still gagged, is just stunned and shrugs hisshoulders "I dont know." and shakes his head "No, no, no."Watterson looks around the room, as if trying to help, lookingfor the head. He squats down and looks under the bed, theonly place it could possibly be in the barren room, as the 1stGuard watches him, horrified and speechless, his mouth agape.Watterson slowly
14straightens up, turns to the guard and again nods no andshrugs. The guard stays frozen a moment, then finally summons adeafening, high pitched, womans scream.INTERIOR - PRISON - DAY We see a tracking overhead shot of Watterson strapped intoa rolling dolly like Hannibal Lector. Hes wearing an orange-jumpsuit, his hands are handcuffed and theres a cage over hismouth. The guards hold him at an angle as he is wheeled downthe hallway between the cells, so he is looking up toward thecamera. The onlooking prisoners, many of whom are big and toughlooking, are completely silent. They watch, chilled by thethought of what the meek figure of Watterson must have done tobe secured in such a way. The guards pull up to a cell and one unlocks it. There arethree inmates in the cell. They are hanging out casually, onein his bunk, the other two playing cards at the far end of theroom. Their card playing table is a Monopoly board folded upand sitting on top of a bucket. The inmates are frozen, staringat Watterson as he is wheeled into the center of the room andunbound, and the dolly is wheeled out of the cell. Then, likereleasing a crocodile, all of the guards exit the cell, leavingone knot untied in Wattersons straightjacket. Watterson islooking at his new friends with an unflinching, friendly smileon his face. One of the guards reaches a hooked cane throughthe bars and pulls the last knot,freeing Watterson from thestraight jacket, pulling it off him and out of the cell. Watterson has not moved. Hes standing about three feetin front of the group of cellmates, gazing patiently from oneto the next. He notices a tattoo on one of the card playersshoulders. The card player is a large, fairly muscular man in atank top. Wattersons eyes widen as he realizes the tattoo isof Elvis. The inmates eyes widen in response. WATTERSON (loudly, very sudden and intense) Alright! Lets Rock and Roll! Watterson lurches toward the man, who suddenly spooks andcowers crazily. The man knocks over the Monopoly board with oneflailing arm as he slumps off the little stool he was sittingon, and onto the floor against the wall, cowering away fromWatterson. The cellmate
15is shaking violently, sputtering, terrified at what he fearedwas about to happen. Watterson pauses a moment and gets a concerned look on hisface. He slowly stoops down and picks up some of the spilledcards. WATTERSON You dropped your cards, Mister. INMATE (crying) L-l-leave me alone. Watterson puts the cards softly onto the bucket,straightens up all the way, gets a warm smile and looks aroundfrom left to right, at all the inmates faces, nodding a little.He turns and slowly paces toward the bars in the front end ofthe cell. He does it with a sort of blank, calm expression, insuch a way that it could appear very cold or badass to someonewho misinterpreted the situation. It only serves to furtherconvince the inmates that Watterson is totally psychotic.INTERIOR - CONFERENCE ROOM - PURLOIN & FILCH ADVERTISING AGENCY- DAY We see a view looking down a large black marble meetingtable. Sunlight is streaming in through the windows, and we cansee buildings out of the window to the side. This room is onthe thirtysomething floor of a large building. First a middle-aged woman in business attire walks in,pulls a chair back and sits down. She sets a large binder downin front, and glances at her watch. Then a slightly younger, trim, handsome man with good hairstrolls in and sits down across from her. He looks up at herafter a moment and drums his fingers on the table casually. Shereturns a slight, polite smile, then looks away from him. Finally an old man comes trundling into the room. Heswearing a brown, older styled suit. He pulls and chair backand plops himself down. He scoots it forward a little, leansforward, puts his arms and elbows on the table in front of him,and looks over at the other two.
16 MISTER FILCH (addressing the woman) ...Well? MISS PURLOIN ...Well what? Mister Filch and Miss Purloin look over at the younger manquestioningly. He raises his hands, defensively. JEFF What? What? Dont one of you- MISTER FILCH I dont have time for this. (smacks his fist on the table) Who called this meeting!? DAVIS (O.S.) That would be me. Daviss voice comes from across the room, as he walks upsmiling politely and pulls up the head chair of the table. Heis outfitted sharply in his business suit, though he has a sortof Miami-style casualness, coolness and confidence about hislook. Mister Filch stands up, turns toward Davis. MISTER FILCH Who are you!? How did you get in here?! How dare you waste-- DAVIS Do sit down Mister Filch. You have a certain desperation in your manner...Why is that? MISTER FILCH ...Security...Jeff, call security.
17 DAVIS (smiles and laughs jauntily)Indeed you have it Mister Filch, youare suffering from a terriblebout of in-security! After all, itsyou who makes the final decisionshere, you who puts the teeth intothe machine, and its been eating youalive. (Filch turns back toward Davis, surprised)How long has it been since you feltconfident in your choices, Mister Filch? (Mister Filch looks on with a subtle, dour sinking in his expression)If only someone would speak to you interms you understand...Like your oldpartner Sydney Purloin, all would beright around here.But all Sydney has left for youis his suckling spawn-- (gestures toward Miss Purloin)--who has only just managed to drag herway out of the womb and into herfathers shoes. (Miss Purloin looks shocked and outraged. Davis continues intensely to Mister Filch)And you wonder why things have changedaround here! (slams both fists down on table as he looks into Mister Filchs eyes)You used to take chances! Now you makemistakes. It is not your fault Mister Filch!It is not your fault! I can see theburden on you. You hold thelast leg of this empire...a factlost on these fumbling toddlers. (gestures toward Miss Purloin and Jeff)They refuse to acknowledge you, fightingto keep the last spark of bold creation burning--until its been snuffed. They know nothing ofyour conquering spirit, (slams fist down on table)
18 --the strength that raised an empire out of the swamp below. (gestures out window to downtown Chicago area) This is no job to you, (says job contemptuously) This is life! (stabs pointed finger down onto table) More and more they undercut you, not because you have failed Mister Filch, not because you have grown old and useless, but because they cannot succeed! Second-guessing your decisions has become their only means of accomplishing anything of note in their vapid, petty lives. Your failure has become their obsession. They seek all the fame and power of your position, but know nothing of the work that created it, that sustains it! I am not so blind. There is proud legacy here, in this room, and it is in you, Reginald! I called this meeting to see if you still have the guts you came in with... (Mister Filch stares for a moment, then sternly, acknowledges with a nod) And I can see that you do. Davis smiles and reaches his hand out toward Mister Filch,offering to shake. Mister Filch does so. Miss Purloin isleaning forward, distressed. Jeff is leaning back, scooted backin his chair a little, just watching this go down without muchclue. MISS PURLOIN Who are you? Get out of here! DAVIS My name is Davis, Madam. Before I go, I must ask, what is the meaning of this?
19 Davis holds up a magazine folded open to an ad for Callus-XCorn Remover. "Removes Calluss Fast" reads some stacked blocklettering of large type size with a basic illustration of threestages of callus removal. 1) Big Callus. 2) Apply cream. 3)Callus vanishes (results may vary) DAVIS How do you fail to see that fear of calluses is fear of sexual inadequacy? MISS PURLOIN Where is Security, Jeff?! DAVIS Observe! Davis throws some magazine cut-outs of half naked womenonto the ad. MISTER FILCH ...Indeed, any fool can see, my boy... You are right. DAVIS Would my perspective on your affairs here not be of value? Let me be an advisor to you. JEFF With no authority, I hope. DAVIS It doesnt take much authority to outrank a man wearing a cloth diaper. JEFF What!? DAVIS Know your target, Jeff. Know your target as I do mine. Jeff looks uncomfortable. Davis scoots back from thedesk and sits leaning back, with his legs crossed. He reaches
20out his hand and a glass is being handed to him, a good oldfashioned glass of brandy, poured by Mister Filch. Filch thenpours the three remaining a glass and slides it over. MISTER FILCH Lets have a toast then to our new Chief Advisor Davis. All of them hold up their glass in that toast-readyposition. DAVIS You may call me Master Davis. JEFF Mister Davis? DAVIS Master Davis. MISS PURLOIN Oh, thats how he pronounces mister is like that, mastuh DAVIS As long as you call me Master, think what you like. JEFF (acting kind of goofy now) Huh, Huh, Yes, Master! DAVIS (annoyed) Quiet, you. They all awkwardly clink glasses.
21INTERIOR - PRISON - VISITING ROOM - DAYWatterson sits at a small table across from his court appointedlawyer. They are the only two in the 10 by 10 room, whichlooks kind of like a classic interrogation room.Watterson is in conversation with Rory, the court-appointedlawyer. WATTERSON Ya see, I have this friend, the Spirit...and I think sometimes...It eats people? RORY Mm-hm, eats people, sure.The camera starts to zoom in on Watterson as he tells thisaccount: WATTERSON (not realizing Rorys sarcasm, looking down at hands) Yeah, and theres not really that much you can do about it, I mean, its pretty much just wherever I go he seems to follow and somebody nearby me turns up eaten ...or maimed...lately its been mostly maimings. Rory just looks at him for a few moments. Hes about tosay something when he gets a cough and has to catch his throat.He then takes a drink from a bottle of water, screws the capback on and sets it aside, then gestures and looks up atWatterson as if he was just about to say something-- When "Rrfffwap--Whack!--Zat!" the Razorbeast pops intoexistence right behind Rory, rears back its arm and swipesRorys head off. The head goes flying to the side and into alittle portal that appears on the wall. Then the Razorbeastblinks away in an emerald flash.
22 Watterson clutches his hand to his head and stomps his foot. WATTERSON Spirit! Stop it! Stop eating heads! From what I understand of the Earths justice system, that man could have helped me, and he just didnt deserve that! He throws his head and arms down on the table and sighsheavily. WATTERSON Stop eating heads...Stop eating heads... Sto- guard....Guard! The head is gone! GUARD (bangs door with night-stick) Hey, keep it down in there! WATTERSON Come in here! Be a guard. Do your job! GUARD (muffled through door) My what?! WATTERSON Your job! My lawyers head is gone, okay? You need to come in here and have a fit, and get mad at me, and yell at me, and all that stuff, alright? (pauses, listening...) Guard?!.... GUARD Hey. WATTERSON Yes?
23 GUARD Dont tell me what to do. WATTERSON Alright, not a problem. I just wanted you to know the lawyer is dead. GUARD Oh...Oh shit...Thats what youre trying to tell me? Your lawyers dead?!...Oh...Oh!...Hey!...Hey! The guard scrambles to throw open the door as he calls forback-up on his radio. WATTERSON Thank you! Thank you! Watterson throws up his hands.EXTERIOR - SIDEWALK - DAY Davis examines a copy of the Chicago Tribune. The topheadline reads "HEAD-TAKER CLAIMS SECOND." There is a mugshotwith Watterson smiling politely. NEWSSTAND CLERK You going to buy that, sonny? DAVIS Oh...Of course not, Im sorry. I understand that identical information is freely available on your internet. Ill read it there. Good day. (smiles and turns to leave) The Newsstand guy has a forlorn look on his face, turnsand walks a few paces down the sidewalk, looking up at the sky,holding out his arms a little: NEWSSTAND GUY ...Why me lord...Why today...
24 Davis sneaks back and grabs the newspaper. The Newsstandguy has his back turned as he is pacing down the sidewalk.Davis tucks the paper in his pocket, then stands, watching theNewsstand Guy go through his motions. The Newsstand Guy lets out a particularly loud complaintto God and raises his arms. Davis represses a snort oflaughter, and pauses as he turns to go. He takes a dollar outof his pocket and throws it on the counter. DAVIS (laughing quietly to himself) Well worth it friend. You humans are too easy! You-- As he walks down the street a bit he unfolds and opens thepaper to page two. Inside is a large photo of Watterson and adrawing of a murder scene with a headless form lying in theroom. A fuzzy black-and-white still from the security camerashows just a hint of Razorbeast limb or shape. DAVIS (taken back a little) ...Humans... Davis stops walking and stands, looking at the paper, lostin thought.NEXT EPISODE III: SUMMER OF THE RAZORBEASTSOON TO BE FOLLOWED BY EPISODE IV: FALL OF THE RAZORBEAST