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Confessions of a horrified audience

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A humorous presentation on the bill of rights from the audience attending presentations. They ask presenters to avoid a list of horrors

A humorous presentation on the bill of rights from the audience attending presentations. They ask presenters to avoid a list of horrors

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  • 1. Audience bill of rights How to avoid horror stories in presentations
  • 2. Hi! I am your audience
  • 3. I chose to attend your presentation despite all my pending work…
  • 4. I hope you have spent enough time to prepare your presentation
  • 5. Do not make me wait till there is enough crowd…
  • 6. Start and finish your presentation on time
  • 7. I like surprise climax only in detective novels…
  • 8. In your presentation, I expect an agenda and the session duration
  • 9. I am not a kid to sit and listen to your lecture…
  • 10. Involve me
  • 11. We are equally intelligent and responsible…
  • 12. So, do not talk down … or beg
  • 13. I am not a psychic to read your mind…
  • 14. Tell me what I should do and why
  • 15. I know you are not a walking encyclopedia…
  • 16. So, when you don’t know something… don’t hide behind jargon $””&** is nothing but ##%%
  • 17. You may be a whiz with Excel …
  • 18. But, tell me what should I be looking at in your graphs
  • 19. I do not get excited by statistics…
  • 20. … till you tell me your source and the reasoning
  • 21. I do not always carry my telescope…
  • 22. So, make the fonts large enough for me to read
  • 23. Your voice may sound irresistible when you talk in a husky whisper… Pss pss pss
  • 24. But, I can not hear you clearly from the last row
  • 25. I can completely understand your excitement in the subject…
  • 26. But, stop making those distracting gestures
  • 27. I know you love your slides…
  • 28. But, when you talk to your slides and not me, I feel offended
  • 29. I have not installed a recording machine inside my head yet…
  • 30. So, summarize periodically
  • 31. You may feel comfortable pushing all my questions towards the end… ?????
  • 32. But, I cannot follow your logic when I am stuck Clarify my doubts instantly
  • 33. I appreciate your big bang ending…
  • 34. But, what are the next steps?
  • 35. Finally, when I clap at the end…
  • 36. I should leave with the satisfaction of getting enough value for my time
  • 37. Will you fulfill my wishes?