The Summer of the Cheesesteak By: Merany Eldridge
Part 1: The Interview Between Myself and a Hot Chick So you want a job? Yes We are going to pay you in cash. Here is your schedule. Oh, okay.
Part 2: The Warning Signs <ul><li>Reading Materials </li></ul><ul><li>Uniform Options </li></ul><ul><li>Wall Décor </li></ul><ul><li>Workplace Relationships </li></ul>
Reading Materials: The Sacramento News and Review
Uniform Options Standard Tad Revealing Somewhat Skanky
Wall Decor The Customer is always right…Just not here! Mike B.’s Yelp Review: “ This place has the worst customer service. I ordered a sandwich and there was barely any meat on it. I called the owner and he told me to “Fuck off”. Never coming here again. Photo of “famous” comedian trying to lick Wild Bill’s Wife’s Breasts
Workplace Relationships 16-year-old Employee: I like this tank top. Wild Bill: Your boobs are too huge for that. 16-year-old Employee: Screw you. Wild Bill: Slut.
Oscar the Cook’s Version of a Popular Song “ She Will Be Loved” by Maroon 5: Lyrics: Cheese WHIIIIZZ cheese whiz….Cheese WHIIIZZZ cheese whiz Repeat.
Milly the Manager’s Daily Duties <ul><li>Alter schedule to piss off least favorite employees </li></ul><ul><li>Take sexy mirror pics in bathroom </li></ul><ul><li>Feed her baby cheesesteaks </li></ul><ul><li>Hack into husband’s myspace </li></ul><ul><li>Translate arguments between Wild Bill and Oscar </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Oscar says “The other girls aren’t doing their jobs” in Spanish </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Milly translates this as “Oscar says he is going to quit if you don’t fire Katie. She is a slow-ass bitch. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Bill fires Katie </li></ul></ul>
Priorities at Wild Bill’s in order of Importance <ul><li>Hire the most attractive and youngest girls to be a never-ending supply of girlfriends. </li></ul><ul><li>Use “business-owner” as a method of getting women. </li></ul><ul><li>Money-Laundering </li></ul><ul><li>Quality Product. </li></ul><ul><li>Customer Service. </li></ul>
What I Learned From Wild Bill How to Pick up a Woman: “You just hand them a free cheesesteak card, and you let them come to you.” Excellent Customer Service: “If people are giving you shit, tell them it is a goddamn cheesesteak. Calm the fuck down.” The Importance of Work Ethic: “I understand that she cannot do anything right, but she has huge boobs and she is turning 18 in a month”
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