Perfection{ism}an occupational hazard of giftedness
Try as hard as we may forPERFECTIONthe net result of our labors is anamazing varietyof imperfectness.
We are surprised atour own versatility in being able toFAILin so many different ways.~ Samuel McChord Crothers
What are some of the differentfaces of perfectionism?{According to Adelson & Wilson}
Academic AchieverI must get
or the world will end.
IAggravated Accuracy Assessorsexactness and fixation on redos
Risk EvadersIf I cant do it perfectly,I wont eventry.
Controlling Image Managers
I could have it if I wanted it.{but Im pretending I dont want it}
ProcrastinatingPerfectionists
{Im putting offturning in mywork because azero for notturning it in isnot as bad asearning an 80}
Consequences ofPerfectionism
please note:Perfection{ism}isnt always a problem
it can behealthy{heres how to tell}
ask thesequestions
does the childreceivepleasure fromworking hard?
are the childsstandards based onpersonal desire{as opposed to outside pressure}?
is the childcapable ofrelaxing?
is the childsworkmastery{rather than grade} -oriented?
the correctanswer to allof thesequestions is{yes}
it can also be{un}healthy{heres how to tell}
ask yourselfthesequestions
are the childsfeelings abouthis/her effort basedon externalevaluations?
is the childincapable ofrelaxing or lettinggo?
is the childmotivated by lowself-esteem?
is the childunsatisfied witheven a high level ofeffort?
the desirable answerto these questions is{no}
there is a difference betweenperfection{ism}and the pursuit of excellence
Thanks {I think}.But now what?
here are some{big} ideasand specific techniques
{big}
Excellentis good enough
strategies
thisA-
A+is as okay as
encourage{excellence and mastery}as opposed to{perfection}
from 1 - 5assign each task a level
1just make sure its done{little pillows optional}
do your absolute best5{something really importants at stake}
perfectioniststhink everything isa five
when really mosttasks are about athree.
{big}
What Ithaka has to teach us
is that its not about getting there
Its thejourney,and italways was.
strategies
kids need todevelop thesetraits
and they do that through readingand hearing about people whohave them
Try...Carol Dwecks MindsetAngela Duckworths GritMalcolm Gladwells Outliers
or biographies (try ones aboutErnest Shackelton or otherexplorers)
{big}
Dont beyour ownworstenemy.
strategies
although thefollowing quoteis true…
The harderyou work,the harder itis tosurrender.{vince lombardi}
it is also important to learn{goal disengagement}
There willbe nocrossingthis bridgewhen youcome to it.
thats not quitting{its common sense}
and then you prepare tore-engage
adults need to teachkids how to avoidself-talk mistakes
they shouldnt hear "Imso stupid“ from usunless its what we wantthem to say
develop an"ask,dont tell" policy
no one likes beingtold how to feel
Model strategies for dealing with{stress}.This is NOTthe onlystrategy!
{big}
Just do it.{nike totally had this right}
strategies
theres no need to spend20 hours on oneassignment{doing it over and over and over}
dont turnschoolwork intothis kindof thing
becauseeven a teaparty getsold afterawhile
Warning:due dates arecloser than theyappearWork is never done.It’s just due.Just DO it.paraphrased from Linda Kapfer
Be aWeebleand aBozo.
because itturns outthat a fat,roundbottom is areally good thing.
Weebles wobble,but they dont{fall down}
we want to teachkids to rock backup when theyget knocked down
Resilience ismadeof ordinarymagic.
This littlegirl tookher owncancerand usedit to helpothers.
{to thetune of$45million}www.alexslemonade.org
{big}
Sometimes,failure isa perfectlyacceptableoption.
strategies
If you get 100 right away,you will never grow.Dont try for 100 - try for growing.
embrace the Amish mistake
because no one is perfect
Adults must providesupport indealing with failure.{real or perceived}
Have a“favorite mistake”board in the house orclassroom to sharethings that went wrong.
Practice Predictionsworst,best,most likelyoutcomephoto credit vjeran2001 @sxc.hu
"Eeyore,"said Owl,"ChristopherRobin is giving aparty."
"Very interesting,"said Eeyore. "Isuppose they will besending me downthe odd bits whichgot trodden on.Kind and thoughtful....
dont be Eeyore
because everyoneis NOT reallyagainst you
Just jump.
Dont stand inthe shallow endforever.
ask: is it my problem, or does itbelong to someone else?{because there is no sense stealing other people’s problems}
I’ll let Voltaire havethe last word on this.
The perfect is the enemy of the good.
Presentation Created byLisa Van Gemertgiftedguru.comlisav@americanmensa.org orlisa@lisavangemert.compinterest.com/brightki...
Perfectionism: The Occupational Hazard of Raising Gifted Kids
Perfectionism: The Occupational Hazard of Raising Gifted Kids
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Perfectionism: The Occupational Hazard of Raising Gifted Kids

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Is perfectionism holding you, your children or students back? Learn the different faces of perfectionism and the strategies you need to harness it. Find the accompanying handout here http://bit.ly/mensaperfectionism.

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Perfectionism: The Occupational Hazard of Raising Gifted Kids

  1. 1. Perfection{ism}an occupational hazard of giftedness
  2. 2. Try as hard as we may forPERFECTIONthe net result of our labors is anamazing varietyof imperfectness.
  3. 3. We are surprised atour own versatility in being able toFAILin so many different ways.~ Samuel McChord Crothers
  4. 4. What are some of the differentfaces of perfectionism?{According to Adelson & Wilson}
  5. 5. Academic AchieverI must get
  6. 6. or the world will end.
  7. 7. IAggravated Accuracy Assessorsexactness and fixation on redos
  8. 8. Risk EvadersIf I cant do it perfectly,I wont eventry.
  9. 9. Controlling Image Managers
  10. 10. I could have it if I wanted it.{but Im pretending I dont want it}
  11. 11. ProcrastinatingPerfectionists
  12. 12. {Im putting offturning in mywork because azero for notturning it in isnot as bad asearning an 80}
  13. 13. Consequences ofPerfectionism
  14. 14. please note:Perfection{ism}isnt always a problem
  15. 15. it can behealthy{heres how to tell}
  16. 16. ask thesequestions
  17. 17. does the childreceivepleasure fromworking hard?
  18. 18. are the childsstandards based onpersonal desire{as opposed to outside pressure}?
  19. 19. is the childcapable ofrelaxing?
  20. 20. is the childsworkmastery{rather than grade} -oriented?
  21. 21. the correctanswer to allof thesequestions is{yes}
  22. 22. it can also be{un}healthy{heres how to tell}
  23. 23. ask yourselfthesequestions
  24. 24. are the childsfeelings abouthis/her effort basedon externalevaluations?
  25. 25. is the childincapable ofrelaxing or lettinggo?
  26. 26. is the childmotivated by lowself-esteem?
  27. 27. is the childunsatisfied witheven a high level ofeffort?
  28. 28. the desirable answerto these questions is{no}
  29. 29. there is a difference betweenperfection{ism}and the pursuit of excellence
  30. 30. Thanks {I think}.But now what?
  31. 31. here are some{big} ideasand specific techniques
  32. 32. {big}
  33. 33. Excellentis good enough
  34. 34. strategies
  35. 35. thisA-
  36. 36. A+is as okay as
  37. 37. encourage{excellence and mastery}as opposed to{perfection}
  38. 38. from 1 - 5assign each task a level
  39. 39. 1just make sure its done{little pillows optional}
  40. 40. do your absolute best5{something really importants at stake}
  41. 41. perfectioniststhink everything isa five
  42. 42. when really mosttasks are about athree.
  43. 43. {big}
  44. 44. What Ithaka has to teach us
  45. 45. is that its not about getting there
  46. 46. Its thejourney,and italways was.
  47. 47. strategies
  48. 48. kids need todevelop thesetraits
  49. 49. and they do that through readingand hearing about people whohave them
  50. 50. Try...Carol Dwecks MindsetAngela Duckworths GritMalcolm Gladwells Outliers
  51. 51. or biographies (try ones aboutErnest Shackelton or otherexplorers)
  52. 52. {big}
  53. 53. Dont beyour ownworstenemy.
  54. 54. strategies
  55. 55. although thefollowing quoteis true…
  56. 56. The harderyou work,the harder itis tosurrender.{vince lombardi}
  57. 57. it is also important to learn{goal disengagement}
  58. 58. There willbe nocrossingthis bridgewhen youcome to it.
  59. 59. thats not quitting{its common sense}
  60. 60. and then you prepare tore-engage
  61. 61. adults need to teachkids how to avoidself-talk mistakes
  62. 62. they shouldnt hear "Imso stupid“ from usunless its what we wantthem to say
  63. 63. develop an"ask,dont tell" policy
  64. 64. no one likes beingtold how to feel
  65. 65. Model strategies for dealing with{stress}.This is NOTthe onlystrategy!
  66. 66. {big}
  67. 67. Just do it.{nike totally had this right}
  68. 68. strategies
  69. 69. theres no need to spend20 hours on oneassignment{doing it over and over and over}
  70. 70. dont turnschoolwork intothis kindof thing
  71. 71. becauseeven a teaparty getsold afterawhile
  72. 72. Warning:due dates arecloser than theyappearWork is never done.It’s just due.Just DO it.paraphrased from Linda Kapfer
  73. 73. Be aWeebleand aBozo.
  74. 74. because itturns outthat a fat,roundbottom is areally good thing.
  75. 75. Weebles wobble,but they dont{fall down}
  76. 76. we want to teachkids to rock backup when theyget knocked down
  77. 77. Resilience ismadeof ordinarymagic.
  78. 78. This littlegirl tookher owncancerand usedit to helpothers.
  79. 79. {to thetune of$45million}www.alexslemonade.org
  80. 80. {big}
  81. 81. Sometimes,failure isa perfectlyacceptableoption.
  82. 82. strategies
  83. 83. If you get 100 right away,you will never grow.Dont try for 100 - try for growing.
  84. 84. embrace the Amish mistake
  85. 85. because no one is perfect
  86. 86. Adults must providesupport indealing with failure.{real or perceived}
  87. 87. Have a“favorite mistake”board in the house orclassroom to sharethings that went wrong.
  88. 88. Practice Predictionsworst,best,most likelyoutcomephoto credit vjeran2001 @sxc.hu
  89. 89. "Eeyore,"said Owl,"ChristopherRobin is giving aparty."
  90. 90. "Very interesting,"said Eeyore. "Isuppose they will besending me downthe odd bits whichgot trodden on.Kind and thoughtful.Not at all,dontmention it."
  91. 91. dont be Eeyore
  92. 92. because everyoneis NOT reallyagainst you
  93. 93. Just jump.
  94. 94. Dont stand inthe shallow endforever.
  95. 95. ask: is it my problem, or does itbelong to someone else?{because there is no sense stealing other people’s problems}
  96. 96. I’ll let Voltaire havethe last word on this.
  97. 97. The perfect is the enemy of the good.
  98. 98. Presentation Created byLisa Van Gemertgiftedguru.comlisav@americanmensa.org orlisa@lisavangemert.compinterest.com/brightkids@gifted_guruwww.facebook.com/giftedgurulinkedin/in/lisavangemert
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