Perfectionism: The Occupational Hazard of Raising Gifted Kids
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Perfectionism: The Occupational Hazard of Raising Gifted Kids

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Is perfectionism holding you, your children or students back? Learn the different faces of perfectionism and the strategies you need to harness it. Find the accompanying handout here ...

Is perfectionism holding you, your children or students back? Learn the different faces of perfectionism and the strategies you need to harness it. Find the accompanying handout here http://bit.ly/mensaperfectionism.

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Perfectionism: The Occupational Hazard of Raising Gifted Kids Perfectionism: The Occupational Hazard of Raising Gifted Kids Presentation Transcript

  • Perfection{ism}an occupational hazard of giftedness
  • Try as hard as we may forPERFECTIONthe net result of our labors is anamazing varietyof imperfectness.
  • We are surprised atour own versatility in being able toFAILin so many different ways.~ Samuel McChord Crothers
  • What are some of the differentfaces of perfectionism?{According to Adelson & Wilson}
  • Academic AchieverI must get
  • or the world will end.
  • IAggravated Accuracy Assessorsexactness and fixation on redos
  • Risk EvadersIf I cant do it perfectly,I wont eventry.
  • Controlling Image Managers
  • I could have it if I wanted it.{but Im pretending I dont want it}
  • ProcrastinatingPerfectionists
  • {Im putting offturning in mywork because azero for notturning it in isnot as bad asearning an 80}
  • Consequences ofPerfectionism
  • please note:Perfection{ism}isnt always a problem
  • it can behealthy{heres how to tell}
  • ask thesequestions
  • does the childreceivepleasure fromworking hard?
  • are the childsstandards based onpersonal desire{as opposed to outside pressure}?
  • is the childcapable ofrelaxing?
  • is the childsworkmastery{rather than grade} -oriented?
  • the correctanswer to allof thesequestions is{yes}
  • it can also be{un}healthy{heres how to tell}
  • ask yourselfthesequestions
  • are the childsfeelings abouthis/her effort basedon externalevaluations?
  • is the childincapable ofrelaxing or lettinggo?
  • is the childmotivated by lowself-esteem?
  • is the childunsatisfied witheven a high level ofeffort?
  • the desirable answerto these questions is{no}
  • there is a difference betweenperfection{ism}and the pursuit of excellence
  • Thanks {I think}.But now what?
  • here are some{big} ideasand specific techniques
  • {big}
  • Excellentis good enough
  • strategies
  • thisA-
  • A+is as okay as
  • encourage{excellence and mastery}as opposed to{perfection}
  • from 1 - 5assign each task a level
  • 1just make sure its done{little pillows optional}
  • do your absolute best5{something really importants at stake}
  • perfectioniststhink everything isa five
  • when really mosttasks are about athree.
  • {big}
  • What Ithaka has to teach us
  • is that its not about getting there
  • Its thejourney,and italways was.
  • strategies
  • kids need todevelop thesetraits
  • and they do that through readingand hearing about people whohave them
  • Try...Carol Dwecks MindsetAngela Duckworths GritMalcolm Gladwells Outliers
  • or biographies (try ones aboutErnest Shackelton or otherexplorers)
  • {big}
  • Dont beyour ownworstenemy.
  • strategies
  • although thefollowing quoteis true…
  • The harderyou work,the harder itis tosurrender.{vince lombardi}
  • it is also important to learn{goal disengagement}
  • There willbe nocrossingthis bridgewhen youcome to it.
  • thats not quitting{its common sense}
  • and then you prepare tore-engage
  • adults need to teachkids how to avoidself-talk mistakes
  • they shouldnt hear "Imso stupid“ from usunless its what we wantthem to say
  • develop an"ask,dont tell" policy
  • no one likes beingtold how to feel
  • Model strategies for dealing with{stress}.This is NOTthe onlystrategy!
  • {big}
  • Just do it.{nike totally had this right}
  • strategies
  • theres no need to spend20 hours on oneassignment{doing it over and over and over}
  • dont turnschoolwork intothis kindof thing
  • becauseeven a teaparty getsold afterawhile
  • Warning:due dates arecloser than theyappearWork is never done.It’s just due.Just DO it.paraphrased from Linda Kapfer
  • Be aWeebleand aBozo.
  • because itturns outthat a fat,roundbottom is areally good thing.
  • Weebles wobble,but they dont{fall down}
  • we want to teachkids to rock backup when theyget knocked down
  • Resilience ismadeof ordinarymagic.
  • This littlegirl tookher owncancerand usedit to helpothers.
  • {to thetune of$45million}www.alexslemonade.org
  • {big}
  • Sometimes,failure isa perfectlyacceptableoption.
  • strategies
  • If you get 100 right away,you will never grow.Dont try for 100 - try for growing.
  • embrace the Amish mistake
  • because no one is perfect
  • Adults must providesupport indealing with failure.{real or perceived}
  • Have a“favorite mistake”board in the house orclassroom to sharethings that went wrong.
  • Practice Predictionsworst,best,most likelyoutcomephoto credit vjeran2001 @sxc.hu
  • "Eeyore,"said Owl,"ChristopherRobin is giving aparty."
  • "Very interesting,"said Eeyore. "Isuppose they will besending me downthe odd bits whichgot trodden on.Kind and thoughtful.Not at all,dontmention it."
  • dont be Eeyore
  • because everyoneis NOT reallyagainst you
  • Just jump.
  • Dont stand inthe shallow endforever.
  • ask: is it my problem, or does itbelong to someone else?{because there is no sense stealing other people’s problems}
  • I’ll let Voltaire havethe last word on this.
  • The perfect is the enemy of the good.
  • Presentation Created byLisa Van Gemertgiftedguru.comlisav@americanmensa.org orlisa@lisavangemert.compinterest.com/brightkids@gifted_guruwww.facebook.com/giftedgurulinkedin/in/lisavangemert