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PARENTING IS CHALLENGING
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PARENTING IS CHALLENGING

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This slides show is for All Parents, whether new or old, young or aged, good or bad, father or mother. I request all the brothers and sisters who are going to get married and InshaAllah will be …

This slides show is for All Parents, whether new or old, young or aged, good or bad, father or mother. I request all the brothers and sisters who are going to get married and InshaAllah will be blessed by the Niyamat "AULAAD" to read this slides show, REPEAT AND REVISED so the they understand and practice it, this will help our generation to be an example......

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  • 1. DR.IMTIYAZ KONDKARI BUMS,CGO,CCH,CFP,SFA(USA), TRAINS THE TRAINER FOR CPR, FIRST-AIDER,NURSING I TREAT THE RARELY TREATED DISEASES : PREVENTION AND REVERSAL OF HEART DISEASES BENIGN HYPERTROPHY OF PROSTATE MANAGEMENT OF DIABETES MANAGEMENT OF BLOOD PRESSURE / STRESS / DRUG ABUSE WEIGHT MANAGEMENT ARREST OF HAIR FALL / PIMPLES / DARK CIRCLE / SKIN CARE ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION IN MALES AZOSPERMEA IN MALE SEXPERT TREAT PILES WITHOUT OPERATION
  • 2. PA R E N T I N GW H AT I SPA R E N T I N G ?PA R E N T I N GISCHALLENGING………
  • 3. WE ARE GOING TOSEE……. WHAT DO WE NEED FOR PARENTING.. HOW TO COMMUNICATE WITH OUR CHILDREN…. HOW TO DEAL WITH OUR CHILDREN…. COMMUNICATE WITH FEELING DEAL WITH FEELING
  • 4. IT IS IMPORTANT TO LEARNPARENTING…TO LEARN, TO HELP CHILDREN,,1) DEAL WITH THEIR FEELINGS AS CHILD, REACT THE WAY HE FEELS If he feels good, reacts good, and behaves good. Yes we are worried for his behaviour. That is what, we want them to behave good in all situation. How ? Simple but tricky..
  • 5. 1) DEAL WITH THEIR FEELINGSi) Children need to be Accepted andRespected a) Listen to them quietly and attentively.b) Mere lip service will discourage them. c) Parents doesn’t have to say anything. d) It is much easier to tell your trouble to your parents, who is
  • 6. 1) DEAL WITH THEIR FEELINGSii) Children need to beAcknowledged Instead of a) Asking question b) Blamming c) Advising Acknowledge their feeling. Which makes a child to think clearly, and constructively Acknowledge their feeling with Oh! Hunm! I see..!
  • 7. 1) DEAL WITH THEIR FEELINGS iii) Children need to learn Give their feeling aname  Instead of denying the feelings give his feeling a name.  The child who is learning words will experience deeply comforted.
  • 8. 1) DEAL WITH THEIR FEELINGSiv) Children need their wishes to be fulfilled give them their wishes in fantasy Instead of explanation and logic give child his wishes in fantasyIf child is asking for car / scooter / motorbike get toy Sometime just someone understanding how much you want something makes reality easier to bear. Reality horse – rocking horse Story of kings daughter – golden wish Story of moon in mirror
  • 9. 2) Engrave child cooperationi) Describe the problem, what you see it ?a) It is very hard to do, any task when people aretelling you, what is wrong?e.g. child and broken car, person fall In water doesn’t know swimming and everybody giving him instruction.b) Easier to concentrate when someone justdescribes it to you.c) When grownup describe the problem, it giveschildren, a chance to tell themselves, what to do ?
  • 10. ….2)Engrave child cooperationGive information…. When children are given information. They can usually figure out for themselves what needs to be done. Information is lot easier to take them accusation. E.g. A child visit toilet without slipper…. T. V. adv. Of a child wants to go to play
  • 11. ……..Say it with a word  Children dislike  Hearing Lectures Seminars Long explanation The shorter the reminder, It is better Tip.
  • 12. ……..Describe your feelings It is possible to cooperate with someone who is expressing Irritation, Anger, …. .. as long as you are not being attack Start with I…… I feel … … I imagine … ….
  • 13. …….Talk about your feelings Make no comments about your child characterChildren are entitled to hear … …..to their Parents HONESTFEELINGS BE GUININE WITHOUT BEING HURTFUL
  • 14. ……. Write a noteSome time nothing we say is as effective as a written word Archies card
  • 15. ............*MIND YOU*… It is important to be authentic about your feelings Words : The attitude behind the word is as important as the word themselves Words have the way of lingering long and poisonously. Choose your word carefully. Just because u don’t get through the 1st time doesn’t mean… you should revert to old ways Sahabis’ e.g. removing scorpion from water………
  • 16. 3 ) Seek alternative to punishment What do we do as a parents to solve the problem of a child.. We punish them, We also spank them.. This is not right. We should lookout for alternative to punishment
  • 17. 3)Seek alternative to punishmentPoint out a way to be helpful Try repair the toy Show child how to make amend (correct-change). Express your feelings of disapproval Strongly without attacking childs character You do always losses You trouble me You destroy things
  • 18. 3)Seek alternative to punishmentPoint out a way to be helpful State your expectation,I thought of you helping me, today.I imagine you will score good inExamsI expect your success.
  • 19. 3)Seek alternative to punishmentPoint out a way to be helpful i) Take Action Problem solving ii) Talk about the child feelings and needs. iii)Talk about your feelings and needs. Don’t say any wrong of any feelings Instead give the child his choice. iv)Put your head together to find a mutually agreeable solution
  • 20. 4) Encourage childs autonomyi)Let children make choices Allow children to make choices. It gives valuable practise of making decisions. (even for adults, being force into taking decision is not welcome Colouring an apple (orange colour to apple). Bride/bridegroom selection in Adult
  • 21. 4) Encourage childs autonomyii) Show respect for childsstruggle When the childs struggle is respected, he gathers courage, to see job through himself Climbing the bed Selecting the course Taking a job
  • 22. 4) Encourage childs autonomy iii) Don’t ask too many questions. Too many question means – invasion of ones personallife. Children will talk about What they wants to talk When they want to talk
  • 23. 4) Encourage childs autonomy iv) Don’t rush to answer question When children ask question, they deserve to explore the answer for himself. E.g day and night
  • 24. 4) Encourage childs autonomy v)Encourage children to use sources outside their homeOur children should know that, they are not completely depend on us External sources can be called upon to help them with their problem Postman, Fireman Police man Teacher Neighbour
  • 25. 4) Encourage childs autonomyvi) Don’t take away the hopes By trying to protect them from disappointment, we protect them from  HOPING  STRIVING  DREAMING  ACHIEVING FROM THEIR DREAM  FALLING FROM THE HEIGHT
  • 26. 5) Provide positive praise andencourage growth of self esteemRemember Praise can make you doubt the praiser. Praise may lead to immediate denial. Praise may sometime force you tofocus on your weakness. Praise may create anxiety and interfere with activity. Praise may also be experience as manipulation. Ensure your praise is appropriate to your
  • 27. 5) Provide positive praise andencourage growth of self esteemAvoid:A kind of praise that hints at pastweakness or past failure.Caution about praise:i)Be aware that excessiveenthusiasm can interfere with aChilds to accomplish.ii)Be prepared for lot of repetitionof the same activity.iii)When you describe when a childis doing appreciately.
  • 28. 5) Provide positive praisei)Avoid too many ‘NO’s Give information and leave out NOCan I go to Sameers placeWe are having Lunch right now Accept the feelings instead of saying NOI dont want to go home now, cant we stay…I can see if it were up to you, you would have stayed for long.It is hard to leave the place you enjoy so much. When possible substitute YES for NOCan we go to PDP (priya darshani park)Yes certainly, after lunch, right at 4.00 p.m. Describe the problemCan take me for some shopping nowI would like to help you out, the problem is,Plumber is going to come in next half an hour.
  • 29. what are the obstacles to goodcooperation Blaming and accusation Name calling Threats Lecturing and moralising Comparisons Propecy Physical abuse Sarcasm
  • 30. conclusio nseen these are the Thus I have FEW ways of HELPING our CHILDREN Whereas / But There is NO single FOOL PROOF solution to any problem.The essence or beauty is to keep on trying and not to give up After all Parenting is challenging

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