When most people think of sharks, they picture a large sea predator with razor sharp teeth and a ferocious appetite. Few people realize, however, that these dangerous fish pale in comparison to their radioactive cousins, the Laser Shark.<br />2<br />Matthew Bird 12/10/2010<br />
3<br />To understand the destructive power of Laser Sharks, we must first understand the difference between a laser and a shark.<br />Matthew Bird 12/10/2010<br />
Lasers<br />4<br />A laser is a device that emits light through a process of optical amplification based on the stimulated emission of photons. In short, it amplifies light. <br />The term “laser” is an acronym for Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation.<br />Matthew Bird 12/10/2010<br />
Lasers in Action<br />5<br />Matthew Bird 12/10/2010<br />
Sharks<br />6<br />Sharks are carnivores: however, their diet remains varied to include plankton.<br />Sharks are believed to be relatively intelligent. They can learn to adopt patterns of behavior and recognize certain people and objects.<br />They have many rows of razor sharp teeth that replace themselves when lost, so they have no need of a dentist.<br />A group of Laser Sharks during feeding time.<br />Matthew Bird 12/10/2010<br />
Types of Sharks<br />7<br /><ul><li>Angel Shark
Flat body like stingray, and not as nice as they sound.
And many more!</li></ul>Matthew Bird 12/10/2010<br />
History of Laser Sharks<br />8<br />Nobody knows where Laser Sharks came from, or how they acquired photon weaponry, but we do know that Laser Sharks are responsible for the deaths of 7 million people each year. 8 million if you include French people.<br />Classified picture of a Laser Shark shooting a<br /> pterodactyl, taken from the S.S. Rick James.<br />Matthew Bird 12/10/2010<br />
Combating Laser Sharks<br />9<br />In 1953, president Dwight Eisenhower enacted the Laser Shark Defense Initiative (LSDI), in an attempt to rid the world of Laser Sharks. <br />He gathered the worlds greatest physicists and engineers to develop a way to combat the Laser Sharks.<br />Finally a lesser known physicist known as Albert Einstein came up with a potential solution. He called them Sonic Dolphins. <br />Sonic Dolphins succeeded in repelling the Sharks’ lasers, but didn’t stand a chance against their razor teeth.<br />Today, there is no known protection against Laser Sharks.<br />Sonic Dolphin stretching before battle.<br />Matthew Bird 12/10/2010<br />
Laser Shark FAQ<br />Q: How do Laser Sharks Hunt?<br />A: The laser shark will spot its prey, then fry it with their laser. <br />Q: What do Laser Sharks eat?<br />A: Laser Sharks eat fish, humans, dolphins, whales, other sharks, sea serpents, ships, submarines, crocodiles, underwater unicorns, giant squids, and dinosaurs.<br />Q: What should I do if I see a laser shark?<br />A: Kill yourself. That way, you won't have to suffer the pain of being fried to death with a laser. <br />10<br />Laser Shark frying the person who dared to capture it.<br />Matthew Bird 12/10/2010<br />
Top 10 Most Dangerous Animals<br />10) Cape Buffalo<br />9) Polar Bear<br />8) Elephant<br />7) Saltwater Crocodile<br />6) African Lion<br />5) Great White Shark<br />4) Australian Box Jellyfish<br />3) Asian Cobra<br />2) Mosquito<br />1) Laser Shark<br />11<br />Matthew Bird 12/10/2010<br />
Conclusion<br />12<br />Lasers are not toys, and sharks are not friends. Together they make a monstrous beast capable of destroying anything in its path. Now that you know the dangers of Laser Sharks, know that the only way to avoid being killed by a Laser Shark is to never go near the sea.<br />Matthew Bird 12/10/2010<br />
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