BLOOM!          How to Escape the Doom Cycle and Start to Bloom1   © Mass Ignition
There is    Good News and    there is Bad News    for All Marriages2   © Mass Ignition
Bad News    Marriages were built to Fail3   © Mass Ignition
Good News    Marriages were designed for    your fullness of life and for            God’s glory4   © Mass Ignition
Whether you are fully aware of it or not, you              are in one cycle or the other    Doom                   Vs.    ...
The Challenge:        Most people don’t know how to        effectively assess whether they are in        Doom or Bloom….wh...
Trusts in the LORD    Delights in the law of the LORD    On his law meditates day and night    Leaves are always green    ...
Question: How do you    know the health of your    marriage?8   © Mass Ignition
Brian Rhen:                            Rhen:                      • Pastor                      • Marriage Coach          ...
5 Myths That       May Doom     Your Marriage!10   © Mass Ignition
Myth #1: Wedding vows are the         most important commitment you         make11   © Mass Ignition
Myth #2: Most spouses know the         other’s needs12   © Mass Ignition
Myth #3: Certain things cannot         be forgiven13   © Mass Ignition
Myth #4: Communication gets         better over time14   © Mass Ignition
Myth #5: God’s purposes will         naturally evolve15   © Mass Ignition
Myth #1: Wedding vows are the         most important commitment you         make (The Uncertain Couple)16   © Mass Ignition
COMMIT To “sacrificial” LOVE              This is my command: Love (agape) each other. John 15:17                         ...
COMMIT TO “sacrificial” LOVE      5 Love Languages      -WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT      -QUALITY TIME      -GIFTS      -ACTS ...
CHECKUP QUESTION #1          How often do you re-commit to          sacrificially loving?19   © Mass Ignition
complete                                 Committed to love? wife        room to improve                    room to improve...
Myth #2: Most spouses know the         other’s needs (The Card Carrying         Couple)21   © Mass Ignition
CHERISH & RESPECT      However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself,      and the wife must respec...
CHECKUP QUESTION #2          What is the degree you are          currently cherishing (your          wife) and respecting ...
respecting                                      Cherished and wife                                       Respected?       ...
Myth #3: Certain things cannot         be forgiven (The Startup Couple)25   © Mass Ignition
BE GRACIOUS & FORGIVE     Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you     may have against one another. Forgi...
CHECKUP QUESTION #3          How capable are you of being          gracious and of forgiving?27   © Mass Ignition
complete                          Gracious and Forgiving? wife        room to improve                    room to improve  ...
Myth #4: Communication gets         better over time (The Yelling         Couple)29   © Mass Ignition
CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDS     Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.                   ...
CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDS                        CIRCUMSTANCE                         THOUGHTS                         EMOTIO...
CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDS                 REACT: “STAND OFF”            REACT: “TELL OFF”                                RESP...
CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDS                 REACT: “STAND OFF”                 REACT: “TELL OFF”                               ...
CHECKUP QUESTION #4          Are you using the right words          in your communication?34   © Mass Ignition
Myth #5: God’s purposes will         naturally evolve (The Chaotic         Churchgoing Couple)35   © Mass Ignition
SEEK A GREATER PURPOSE     The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me.   Psalm 138:8                                 People ...
SEEK A GREATER PURPOSE     The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me.   Psalm 138:8        •Marriage Purpose Statement     ...
CHECKUP QUESTION #5          How purposeful is          your marriage?38   © Mass Ignition
BLOOM!                       Where are you?39   © Mass Ignition
FINAL CHECKUP     Rank each on a scale of 1(weak) - 5(strong)     ___Commit to Love     ___     ___Cherish & Respect     _...
Do you want to grow in     any of these five areas?41   © Mass Ignition
Bloom!               A 5-WEEK TUNE-UP FOR ANY MARRIAGE42   © Mass Ignition
• 5-weeks of live webinars (1 per week)     • 1-year of group tele-coaching (1 per month)                       tele-     ...
• Convenient – take from home     • Repeatable – review anytime     • Normally $625 for 5-weeks     • Only $249 for signin...
• 15% of proceeds donated     • Wings of Hope – radio-based marriage     ministry in Malawi45   © Mass Ignition
When is Bloom?        5 Wednesdays        Time: 7:30 PM – 9:00 PST        Starts February 2, 2011        February 9, Febru...
Sign up today                       http://bit.ly/blkYPM47   © Mass Ignition
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Bloom check-up-slides11911-pdf

  1. 1. BLOOM! How to Escape the Doom Cycle and Start to Bloom1 © Mass Ignition
  2. 2. There is Good News and there is Bad News for All Marriages2 © Mass Ignition
  3. 3. Bad News Marriages were built to Fail3 © Mass Ignition
  4. 4. Good News Marriages were designed for your fullness of life and for God’s glory4 © Mass Ignition
  5. 5. Whether you are fully aware of it or not, you are in one cycle or the other Doom Vs. Bloom Cycle Cycle5 © Mass Ignition
  6. 6. The Challenge: Most people don’t know how to effectively assess whether they are in Doom or Bloom….why?6 © Mass Ignition
  7. 7. Trusts in the LORD Delights in the law of the LORD On his law meditates day and night Leaves are always green Never fails to bear fruit Does not wither in the heat Does not walk in the counsel of the wicked Heart is deceitful above all things7 © Mass Ignition
  8. 8. Question: How do you know the health of your marriage?8 © Mass Ignition
  9. 9. Brian Rhen: Rhen: • Pastor • Marriage Coach • Married • Kids9 © Mass Ignition
  10. 10. 5 Myths That May Doom Your Marriage!10 © Mass Ignition
  11. 11. Myth #1: Wedding vows are the most important commitment you make11 © Mass Ignition
  12. 12. Myth #2: Most spouses know the other’s needs12 © Mass Ignition
  13. 13. Myth #3: Certain things cannot be forgiven13 © Mass Ignition
  14. 14. Myth #4: Communication gets better over time14 © Mass Ignition
  15. 15. Myth #5: God’s purposes will naturally evolve15 © Mass Ignition
  16. 16. Myth #1: Wedding vows are the most important commitment you make (The Uncertain Couple)16 © Mass Ignition
  17. 17. COMMIT To “sacrificial” LOVE This is my command: Love (agape) each other. John 15:17 DAILY YEARLY SEASONALLY17 © Mass Ignition
  18. 18. COMMIT TO “sacrificial” LOVE 5 Love Languages -WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT -QUALITY TIME -GIFTS -ACTS OF SERVICE -PHYSICAL TOUCH18 © Mass Ignition
  19. 19. CHECKUP QUESTION #1 How often do you re-commit to sacrificially loving?19 © Mass Ignition
  20. 20. complete Committed to love? wife room to improve room to improve complete husband20 © Mass Ignition
  21. 21. Myth #2: Most spouses know the other’s needs (The Card Carrying Couple)21 © Mass Ignition
  22. 22. CHERISH & RESPECT However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Eph. 5:33 with cherish he she responds responds without respect with respect he she reacts reacts © Mass Ignition without22 cherish
  23. 23. CHECKUP QUESTION #2 What is the degree you are currently cherishing (your wife) and respecting (your husband?)23 © Mass Ignition
  24. 24. respecting Cherished and wife Respected? room to improve room to improve cherishing husband24 © Mass Ignition
  25. 25. Myth #3: Certain things cannot be forgiven (The Startup Couple)25 © Mass Ignition
  26. 26. BE GRACIOUS & FORGIVE Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13 Grace leaves Forgiveness space for releases error “an attitude” “a process”26 © Mass Ignition
  27. 27. CHECKUP QUESTION #3 How capable are you of being gracious and of forgiving?27 © Mass Ignition
  28. 28. complete Gracious and Forgiving? wife room to improve room to improve complete husband28 © Mass Ignition
  29. 29. Myth #4: Communication gets better over time (The Yelling Couple)29 © Mass Ignition
  30. 30. CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDS Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. James 1:19 Argument REACTING the other Destructive offensive, names, sarcasm, violent = scarring Disagreement REACTING issue Harsh defensive, personalities arise = separating Normal dialogue RESPONDING each other Kind attentive, encouraging = supporting30 © Mass Ignition
  31. 31. CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDS CIRCUMSTANCE THOUGHTS EMOTIONS Hurt, Fear, Want, Joy 3 sec. with self with God REACT RESPOND “FLESH” “SPIRIT”31 © Mass Ignition
  32. 32. CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDS REACT: “STAND OFF” REACT: “TELL OFF” RESPOND “GRACE & TRUTH” REACT: “GIVE UP” REACT: “HOLD ON ”32 © Mass Ignition
  33. 33. CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDS REACT: “STAND OFF” REACT: “TELL OFF” Listen Clarify Thoughts Identify Feelings Right Tone, Time, Words Find Compromise REACT: “GIVE UP” REACT: “HOLD ON ”33 © Mass Ignition
  34. 34. CHECKUP QUESTION #4 Are you using the right words in your communication?34 © Mass Ignition
  35. 35. Myth #5: God’s purposes will naturally evolve (The Chaotic Churchgoing Couple)35 © Mass Ignition
  36. 36. SEEK A GREATER PURPOSE The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me. Psalm 138:8 People seldom hit what they do not aim at.” Thoreau36 © Mass Ignition
  37. 37. SEEK A GREATER PURPOSE The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me. Psalm 138:8 •Marriage Purpose Statement •Marriage Verse •Values (being) •Goals (doing) •Dreams •Prayer37 © Mass Ignition
  38. 38. CHECKUP QUESTION #5 How purposeful is your marriage?38 © Mass Ignition
  39. 39. BLOOM! Where are you?39 © Mass Ignition
  40. 40. FINAL CHECKUP Rank each on a scale of 1(weak) - 5(strong) ___Commit to Love ___ ___Cherish & Respect ___ ___Be ___ Gracious & Forgive ___Choose the Right Words ___ ___Seek a Greater Purpose ___40 © Mass Ignition
  41. 41. Do you want to grow in any of these five areas?41 © Mass Ignition
  42. 42. Bloom! A 5-WEEK TUNE-UP FOR ANY MARRIAGE42 © Mass Ignition
  43. 43. • 5-weeks of live webinars (1 per week) • 1-year of group tele-coaching (1 per month) tele- • Lifetime access to recorded materials (including updated materials) • 5-weeks of follow-up e-course (1 per week)43 © Mass Ignition
  44. 44. • Convenient – take from home • Repeatable – review anytime • Normally $625 for 5-weeks • Only $249 for signing up today • < $50 per session per couple • 30-day money-back guarantee44 © Mass Ignition
  45. 45. • 15% of proceeds donated • Wings of Hope – radio-based marriage ministry in Malawi45 © Mass Ignition
  46. 46. When is Bloom? 5 Wednesdays Time: 7:30 PM – 9:00 PST Starts February 2, 2011 February 9, February 16 March 2, March 946 © Mass Ignition
  47. 47. Sign up today http://bit.ly/blkYPM47 © Mass Ignition
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