Week of November 25
“Family abuse is when a parent or caregiver
abuses, mistreats, or neglects you or other
people in your family. The abuse can be
physical, psychological/emotional, or sexual.
Neglect is another form of abuse, which is
when parents do not take proper care of or
pay attention to the needs of the children in a
("Kids help phone," )
Abuse –Your abusive partner lashes out with aggressive, belittling, or violent
behavior. The abuse is a power play designed to show you "who is boss."
Guilt – After abusing you, your partner feels guilt, but not over what he's done.
He’s more worried about the possibility of being caught and facing consequences
for his abusive behavior.
Excuses –Your abuser rationalizes what he or she has done. The person may
come up with a string of excuses or blame you for the abusive behavior—
anything to avoid taking responsibility.
"Normal" behavior – The abuser does everything he can to regain control and
keep the victim in the relationship. He may act as if nothing has happened, or he
may turn on the charm. This peaceful honeymoon phase may give the victim
hope that the abuser has really changed this time.
Fantasy and planning –Your abuser begins to fantasize about abusing you again.
He spends a lot of time thinking about what you’ve done wrong and how he'll
make you pay. Then he makes a plan for turning the fantasy of abuse into reality.
Set-up –Your abuser sets you up and puts his plan in motion, creating a situation
where he can justify abusing you.
Abuse is not only perpetrated by men. One estimate holds that in over 70%
of cases, women struck the first blow (Bland, R., & Orn, H. Family violence
and psychiatric disorder. Can J Psychiatry 1986; 31: 129-137); women are
more often implicated in physically abusing a child than are men (Straus M A,
Gelles R J, Steinmetz S. Behind closed doors: violence in the American
family. Garden City, NY: Anchor Press/Doubleday, 1980).
Regardless of the type of family violence, victims were predominantly
female. Overall, nearly seven in ten (69%) victims of family violence were
Reflecting women’s over-representation as spousal violence victims, female
victims of family violence tended to fall between the ages of 15 to 44 years.
("Stat Can: Overview," 2013)
Possessive and extremely jealous
Quick to get angry about the small things
Disrespectful towards their family/partners in
public and alone
Shy about family life and will not speak about
Very jumpy – will flinch at small gestures such
as pats on the backs.
Quick to apologize
Covers up any marks or bruises
Signs of isolation
Depressed/anxious or suicidal
One of the main reasons is fear. Fear -- that if nothing goes
as plan the pain will be worse.
Blind sided to it. Their only perception of love is what they
are in at the moment.
For the sake of the family and kids.
Trauma. Anything to do with legal matters – reliving it.
No sense of independence. Unable to live life alone or
Studies have shown that child neglect is far worse than any
type of physical abuse or sexual.; it also stays with the child for
years to come. Neglect has the ability to hinder brain
development and then also lead to mental illness. Neglect
comes in many different forms such as a parent ignoring his/her
child for hours on end to leaving them with a stranger for long
periods of time while the parent is out partying. There are many
different factors that contribute to this such as poor
economy, no financial support or support at all.
In November 2002, Jeffrey, only 5 years old was found in his grandparents
basement in Toronto, dead and weighing a scary weight of just 19 pounds.
His cause of death was chronic starvation. He was forced to live amongst his
own feces and urination, no way of escaping and had to eat with his hands
off of a mat. The grandparents used him as source of income.
Talk to them in private about your concerns.
Don’t gossip and tell others.
Provide them with a place to stay so they can
get away from everything for awhile.
Connect them to resources.
Give clear guidance and don’t judge.
If you notice something that is out of place or
witness it – don’t wait. Get help for that
person right away or it could be too late.
Kids help phone - what is family abuse?. (n.d.). Retrieved from
Stat can: Overview of family violence. (2013, June 25). Retrieved from