My journey into the mystery of myself consciously began in the summer of 1987 when theHarmonic Convergence took New York b...
fields of the cells in the body. I was fascinated by the story “The Hundredth Monkey” whichgave me an easily understood ba...
section of the British Museum and found myself in front of small statue of Thoth in his baboonfaced form. Much later when ...
Honored God. Ancient Celtic images show him seated in a lotus position ... Hun in Maya-Nagameans the Universal One. The na...
Lady Ashtar Athena visited us in Windham at our retreat in 1994 after she had integrated PallasAthena who was an earlier a...
After a week of promoting the book on radio shows I spent some time with my father inScotland who had retired near Prince ...
layers of understanding to educate the uninitiated by presenting the pages of their magical bookas a tool for enlightenmen...
That night Deborah Belle Forman introduced me to Jocelyn Godwin over dinner which wasexciting for me as I had read his boo...
there was a power within me that knew what was impeding my awareness of my spiritualessence. I intellectually knew that I‟...
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My journey into the mystery of myself consciously began in the summer of 1987 when the harmonic convergence took new york by storm

  1. 1. My journey into the mystery of myself consciously began in the summer of 1987 when theHarmonic Convergence took New York by storm. I was on the Sagaponic beach in EastHampton NY at sunrise. This was the beginning of last cycle of the Mayan calendar which issupposed to end on December 24th 2012. That is when the Mayan god Quetzalcoatl, the winged,feathered, serpent is supposed to return. For the Mayans Quetzalcoatl is the equivalent of Thoth.In 1990 I was introduced to the Pleiadian Transmissions through Barbara Marciniak. ThePleiadians admit to taking over this planet, as well as many others by rearranging DNA. Theysay that part of the DNA system consists of invisible magnetic strands that transmit themorphogenetic information from cell to cell. This magnetic information helps the cells to knowwhat their purpose is, as well as each cell‟s “regeneration properties.” The extra strands ofDNA were also originally our connection with our „higher self‟, that part of us from which wehave now been „disconnected‟. But they emphasize that were not the only group whoexperimented with our genetic codes.When the Annunaki gods from Sirius B reduced our 12-stranded DNA, they effectively madeus what we are, a race of slaves waiting for Thoth to return. The Egyptian god held thecaduceus, the double helix, the structure of the Adamic DNA, as his personal symbol. We seethis same image of the double-stranded DNA today on the caduceus, the Hippocratic symbolrepresenting the medical profession of the world.Over 100,000 years ago when our levels of consciousness were directly related to the number ofchromosomes in our genetic structure which activates the DNA. Thoth‟s intention was to“impose on Eve the image of the gods.” The problem was how to make us like „him,‟ and yetalso not like „him‟. The original plan was to eliminate those parts of the DNA which madeAdam „equal‟ to the Gods. But for reasons known only to Thoth he did not eliminate DNAbut deactivated them until the planet changed its dimensional vibration. DNA is light-encodedfiber optics which are influenced by a transmission from stars and planets at the time of birth.DNA is programmed by planetary forces and previous existences. One of the lessons of theTarot is that these symbols are encoded within us. They are the personality. The Pleiadiansemphasize that the big secret that has been kept from the human species is that thought createsexperience. Thought creates reality. All reality is a subjective experience within your spectrumof reality.Russian scientists have discovered that the 97% of empty space in our DNA is filled withsomething called torsion wave energy. I believe that this energy could also be called love.Scientists now believe that torsion wave energy not only exists before the DNA, that it actuallytells the DNA what to do. Our DNA is a hard drive. The Love/Torsion energy is the softwarethat interacts with our soul and heart which tells the DNA how to arrange itself. This creates notonly our physical body but our whole REALITY. I believe that the ancient Mayans and otherindigenous people knew and understood this.In 1990 I opened my multi-level New York apartment to share new thought in a salonsetting and was introduced to the idea of changing the consciousness of the morphogenic
  2. 2. fields of the cells in the body. I was fascinated by the story “The Hundredth Monkey” whichgave me an easily understood background to the theory of morphogenetic fields.According to its founder, the biologist Rupert Sheldrake, a morphogenetic field, is anequivalent to an electromagnetic field that carries information only, not energy, and areavailable throughout time and space without any loss of intensity after they have beencreated. Morphogenetic fields can be used to describe how the human consciousness isshared. The Morphogenetic fields therefore play the main role in the idea that humanity atone point in time will go thru a dramatic collective shift in consciousness.I did not become aware of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother‟s discovery of the „Supramental Force‟until recently. They discovered that our cells have been a dormant seed of this force since thebeginning of our evolution whenever that might be. This momentous discovery concerned thecapacity that her own body cells had over the years acquired this new energy correctly.Moreover, she found that this capacity was „contagious‟! That is, it could be passed on to cells inother bodies almost automatically if they were receptive. Were Rupert Sheldrake‟s morphicfields influenced by them? They all agree that a shift that will happen when a certainnumber of spiritually awakened individuals are reached. Read more on Morphogeneticfields according to Robert Gilman, Terence Mckenna and Rupert SheldrakeThe following week some theosophists made a presentation of H.P.Blavatsky‟s variation on thesame theme. She says that the sun, moon, planets, earth, and human brain are all magnets incontact with a common network of "live" wires of consciousness. Ramesh Balzekar underscorethis when he said, “The final truth, as Ramana Maharshi and Nisargadatta Maharaj and all thesages before them have clearly stated, is that there is neither creation nor destruction, neitherbirth nor death, neither destiny nor free will, neither any path nor any achievement. All there is isConsciousness.”This was a period of divine discontent when I found that my work with advertising agencies lostits appeal. I have been raised in a society where what other people think was important. I nolonger wanted to remain asleep to the potential lying dormant within me and continue to live inillusion. I had seen the power of adverting to control mass consciousness. However, as myawakening began my inner guidance took over and I could no longer effectively do the work thatI had enjoyed for 45 years. I observed that I began to break my bonds of social convention.The following weekend I attended a workshop to experience my archetypal god. As I knew Iwas a Virgo, and a number 5 who is ruled by Mercury I started to focus on Hermes who Idiscovered later to be Thoth. Soon after that someone I had met that weekend sent me an almostillegible copy of the Emerald Tablets of Thoth-Hermes the Atlantean. It should be noted nowthat I was just reinventing myself after 35 years of being involved with commercial art so theymeant nothing to me.That night I was lying in my loft bed in the middle of Manhattan and a face of a dog-headedbaboon loomed in my face scaring me out of my wits. Later that year I was in the Egyptian
  3. 3. section of the British Museum and found myself in front of small statue of Thoth in his baboonfaced form. Much later when studying The Secret Doctrine I discovered that Thoth andHanuman are both called Cynocephalus [from Latin canus dog + cephalus head] The dog-headed ape was a glyph to symbolize the sun and moon, and it is the hieroglyph of Mercury ofthe Alchemical philosophers. The mission of the Cynocephalus was to show the way for theDead to the Seat of Judgment and Osiris. Thoth-Hermes, was an emblem of secret wisdom aswas Hanuman, the monkey god of India. Cynocephalus, whenever represented with theCaduceus, the Crescent, or the Lotus, is a glyph of the philosophical Mercury; but when seenwith a reed, or a roll of parchment, he stands for Hermes, the secretary and adviser of Isis, asHanuman filled the same office with Rama" (SD 1:388).Since then I‟ve discovered that the sacred knowledge of the cosmos encoded in an emerald tabletis reminiscent of the legend of the Holy Grail, in which the Grail is identified with „an emeraldjewel‟. In retrospect the teachings of the Emerald Tablets of Thoth-Hermes are pure AdvaitaVedanta. Here are some of the similarities: Preserve and keep the command of the Primordial:(Life Force) Look in your life for disorder. Balance and order your life. Quell all the chaos ofthe emotions and you shall have order in life. Conquer by silence the bondage of words. Keepever your eyes on the Light! Open the soul, O man, to the cosmos and let it flow in as one withthe soul.Man is in process of changing to forms that are not of this world. Grows he in time to theformless,… (to live on a higher) plane. Know that you must become formless before you are(one) with the Light, Know, O man, you are only a soul. The body is nothing. The soul iseverything! Let not your body be a fetter! Cast off the darkness and travel in Light! Cast off yourbody, O man, and be free, be truly Light that is one with the (Higher) Light.* Know thatthroughout the time-space Consciousness surely exists. Though from superficial knowledge it ishidden, yet still forever exists.In 1991 I had a private session with Michael Morgan, a trance channeler for Yokar, theAtlantean Scientist-priest who teaches the Atlantean Healing Ray Life Force. As I had so manyThoth-Hermes experiences I asked him if I was an incarnation of Thoth? He said that I had beena priest who escaped from Alexandria when the Christians burnt the Alexandrian Library whichcontained a treasure house of esoteric literature from all the ancient civilizations including theBook of Thoth. This answered my question as to why I had thrown caution to the winds andtotally immersed myself in ancient wisdom. It was the first time that I was being reminded thatmy role on the planet was to bring our origins and ancient wisdom back into consciousness.This was at the time I had changed my Christian name from Bryan to Hugh. I was concernedabout my psychological programming at that time and I did a number of sessions with DorothyEspiau who created a sacred geometry language called Geotran as part of her program calledCircle’s of Life. I had heard her say that names can carry negative baggage and I decided tochange mine. I had a restless night thinking of possible names but I was unable to make adecision until we started working together and the name Hugh muscle tested positively. Idiscovered later that that Hugh de Fleurs was burnt at the stake with Jacques de Molay and Hughde Payens was the founder of the Templars. Paradoxically the name Bryan stems from the Celticgod Bran Fendigaid (the Blessed), the son of the Sea God. Druids knew him as Hu Gadarn, the
  4. 4. Honored God. Ancient Celtic images show him seated in a lotus position ... Hun in Maya-Nagameans the Universal One. The name Hu is chanted by Sufi whirling dervishes.Simultaneously I had been studying Lexigrams and the word druids to penetrate the secrets ofnames, the genotype of the name. Gene is a lexigram of genotye, thereby containing the basis ofthe names meaning. In my original name Bryan Ivan Colmer I extracted the names Lyra andOrion. Interestingly enough Thoth himself-proclaims "I am pure Rigelian blood from Orion"Thoth, who created homosapiens, revealed to his progeny that although the Annunaki hadtampered with their DNA they were still angels. The Tarot has taken me on the Path of the Soul.It is time for the Truth to rise from the depths of our sub-conscious. Perhaps that is why myHigher Self wanted me to create the Tarot and to trace the origins of the Tarot even to Orion.In June of 1993 I went to an evening with Terrence Mc.Kenna who discussed his experienceswith magic mushrooms. McKenna went one step further than Gordon Wasson, who claimed thatexperimentation with psychoactive plants was the origin of religious experience, but not ofhigher consciousness itself, as McKenna argued. McKenna then asked us to take an even biggerleap and proposed that mushroom spores can circulate freely through interstellar space, seedingvarious worlds with trans-galactic intelligence. He proposed that the humble mushroom teacherto the million worlds" carries the essence of experience of many species and weaves countlesslife-threads into a vast tapestry of living intelligence.In short, McKenna saw in the "starseed" mushrooms a transcendent species capable ofintegrating the vast and varied realms of experience known to the creatures in those worlds.Mc.Kenna also referred to a meeting held at Harvard University where a number of eminentmystics agreed on the indisputable historical fact of the widespread use of visionary plants inreligious contexts. They were: William James, Aldous Huxley, Gerald Heard, Robert Graves,Gordon Wasson, Alan Watts, and Professor Walter T. Stace of Princeton, who, when askedwhether the drug experience is similar to the mystical experience, answered, "Its not a questionof being similar to mystical experience; it is mystical experience."Mc.Kenna reminded me of Maria Sabina‟s eloquent observation: The sacred powers of thePsilocybe mushrooms are not open to all; the mushroom is similar to your soul. And not all soulsare the same. The night that I took psilocybe I traveled backwards and forwards through manyexistences. I experienced being the dragon, I swirled through the night sky breathing fire feelinglike the primordial serpent who brought liberating knowledge to humanity. I saw that theuniverse started with a Cosmic Orgasm rather than a „Big Bang.‟ At that moment I saw theconnection between celestial and terrestrial phenomena, and the connection between humanconsciousness and the Cosmos. I realized that my mission is to rise from bestiality tocelestiality. Much of my early life was lived in „Divine Discontent‟ because I did not even knowabout my supra-conscious mind. Therefore my life has been out of sync with this consciousness.I later read the Gnostic creation myth, which says that the Serpent in the Garden of Eden is not atempter, not the enemy, not a vile reptile who deceives the first woman, but the benefactor whobrings illuminating wisdom to primal humanity. Since the Serpent does so by offering them amysterious fruit to eat, Gnostic myth may be seen to align closely with the entheogenic (Entheosliterally means "god (theos) within" theory proposed by R. Gordon Wasson.
  5. 5. Lady Ashtar Athena visited us in Windham at our retreat in 1994 after she had integrated PallasAthena who was an earlier aspect of her Soul with a different mission. She was traveling withDr. Solariel St. Mary-Michael who was sent by Ashtar to anchor the Ashtar Command HeartCenter with her in 1992. That night I went to bed early with my wife but was restless. I felt as ifa strange power drawing me to go downstairs. When I entered the drawing room the ladies saidto me. “We‟ve been waiting for you.” Ashtar Athena told me that her present body-aspect onEarth is located in a past time cell, for she had came back in time from the future just as I hadexperienced with Psilosybin the year before. As the session progressed I saw Ashtar Athena startto sparkle and change shape as she gradually took the form of a man.She told me that she had merged with her twin flame Ashtar in 1991. She warned that Twin Rayrelationships are always extremely intense and powerful, rarely peaceful. These unions arecharacterized by a love bond which transcends human romance, family relationship, and even inmany instances, gender. The passion generated in such unions forms the story line of the world‟sgreatest love stories. I know exactly what she referring to as I have such a marriage. Myexperience is that Soul Mate unions are aspects from previous lives in other star systems .Theseare usually compatible as the essence is so similar but not necessarily overly passionate.Sometimes they last for a given contractual span during one‟s life, or mission. She reminded methat everyone is a unique, great and glorious, immortal Being. She emphasized that I wascreated for one purpose, for Love. Since then I have experienced that each Teacher or Masterhas their own thought-forms, cosmology, terminology, Hierarchical reference points, andspecific Spiritual lineage.She warned me that everyones personal experiences, conditioning, background and perceptionwill differ. This is the Divine plan, of Unity in Diversity. No two mind sets anywhere will beidentical. I observed that this true even in the case of identical twins. I was reassured to knowthat my reality is valid, for I perceive life through the unique lens of my individualconsciousness. Our beliefs determine what we see, dream, and experience as our reality.Everything that we are capable of experiencing at any time is encoded within our DNA-RNA.Each one of us exists as a cell within the Mind-Heart-Body of the—Divine Source— God.My ego always wanted to be right. For me everything had to be black and white. I‟ve now learntthat all I need to be is authentic at any given moment in time. I find it exciting that there willalways be more to be revealed, discovered and learned. Enlightenment is eternal within an openended, ever expanding cosmos. That being said Ashtar Athena urged me to remember that...INTHE HIGHEST TRUTH WE HAVE NEVER LEFT THE HEART OF GOD. The followingmorning as I shared my experiences with our group at the breakfast table Athena asked me whatAshtar looked like. She showed me a photograph. Did he look like that? She asked. Amazinglyhe did.That year I went to London to promote my first collaborative book, Hidden Gods: TheDoorway by Anthony Masters & Hugh Colmer (Constable, Oct ‟95). A futuristic thriller, setagainst a backdrop of international intrigue surrounding the Gulf War and its aftermath, about anews photographer on a quest to find the secrets of Atlantis encoded into the Great Pyramid. Thesurvival of the planet depended on his success.
  6. 6. After a week of promoting the book on radio shows I spent some time with my father inScotland who had retired near Prince Charles „School, Gordonstoun in Elgin. He showed me acopy of our family tree and I found an obscure connection to the Fitzroys who are descendantsof the Stuarts in this case Charles II‟s illegitimate son Charles Fitzroy. The name Colmerderives from the name, Collymore, and John Colmer was the Lord Mayor of Plymouth in 1562when the Brethren were leaving for Plymouth Rock in America. My father also gave me apainting he had done of the Colmer Family Crest which had a Moors head and crescentsindicating a Knights Templar connection.The raison d‟etre for the Knights Templar was to protect the knowledge of the true Christianitywhich originated in Babylon, Chaldea Sumeria, and Egypt, but may go back into the mists oftime in Lemuria. Though many of the accusations brought against them by Philip IV, were false,the main charges were correct, from the stand-point of Church, heresy. The Templars did notbelieve in Jesus as the Savior of the world or in transubstantiation, the saints, holy relics, hell,etc.Now that the days of the Inquisition are nearly over, I say nearly over as we still have the mostrecent inquisitor, the omnipresent, Cardinal Ratzinger as the new Pope in the Vatican. It is nolonger necessary to have the medieval Tarot deck of the Templars so I feel justified in myversion of the original meaning of the Tarot. When I discovered that Tarot cards reachedSouthern Europe from India by way of Arabia and even China it was reassuring to know thatthey were entirely different in shape and design from the ones introduced into Europe by theTemplars. The Templar connection to the Tarot is hotly disputed by some of the today‟s expertsin the field so I was excited to read Christopher Knight and Robert Lomas‟ book, The SecondMessiah.’During the course of their investigation into the Knights Templar they discovered that the realtask of the nine knights was to carry out research in the area, in order to obtain certain relics andmanuscripts which contain the essence of the secret traditions of Judaism and ancient Egypt…theTemplars had found what was concealed below the ruins of Herod‟s Temple. They came to theconclusion that this is why the Templars were persecuted and destroyed as a secret heretical cult.As they looked for new insights into the subject they came across the suggestion that Tarot cardshave a Templar connection. What impresses me is that they had no interest at all in the Tarot andalmost ignored the idea but thought that as strange things were already happening they shouldinvest the time to study what they considered to be „„fairground fortune-telling cards.”They discovered that the Templars used the cards to tell stories that had several interpretationsdepending on how the cards were shuffled and described. The Templars brought the Tarot toEurope but they did not invent them for undoubtedly they saw the Saracens using them duringthe crusades The Saracens inherited them from Egypt and Egypt and were probably adaptedfrom India. The Templars were dedicated to reviving the sacred teachings from ancient times.They wanted to pay homage to those initiates who gave their life for their ideals. I can relate totheir urge to bring new light to the study of Tarot because it reveals another dimension of ancienttimes which I find myself obsessed by. Returning to Europe, the Templars, to avoid persecutionby the Church, concealed the hidden meaning of the symbols, they introduced two separate
  7. 7. layers of understanding to educate the uninitiated by presenting the pages of their magical bookas a tool for enlightenment and amusement.The Order of the Knights Templar was founded in 1118 by the Knights , Hugh de Payens andGeoffrey de St.Omer, ostensibly for the protection of pilgrims, but its true purpose was therestoration of the ancient Mystery Schools of India and Egypt. The true version of the history ofJesus and early Christianity was imparted to Hugh de Payens by the Order of the Temple of theNazarene sect. They lived a life of chaste simplicity in true Cabalistic tradition, and theirmission was to restore one universal religion.While they were resident in the Holy Land the Templars cultivated long lasting relationshipswith Gnostic and Muslim secret societies, particularly the Mandeans. The Mandean hierophantwas John the Baptist whom they named the "King of Light." Mandeans originated in Egypt notIsrael. Their traditions reveal John the Baptist to have been a highly respected Magus fromAlexandria whose teachings incorporated the feminine "Sophic" principle so offensive to themale dominated Church. The Knights of John the Baptist regarded John as their patron, butnever viewed him in the light in which he is presented in the Bible. For them the Christ Jesuswas, in their opinion, a false prophet, but the man Jesus a Brother.H. P. Blavatsky‟s. “Isis “Unveiled,” clearly states that the Knights Templar were anti-Catholicfrom the beginning and the red cross on their white mantle, the investment of the Order, had thesame significance as the symbols of every other religion. In all ancient civilizations the cross is asymbol of the four primary forces that originate from the creator. Without knowing why at thetime I formed a company called The Crosscircle Group as I had a flash of inspiration that thecross and a circle are the most meaningful symbols of all time as they represent the eternal loveof Shiva/Shakti.These transmissions directed me to R.A.Boulay‟s, “Serpents and Dragons,” which introduced theidea that the Serpent in the Garden of Eden was literally the Serpent, Yahweh and that thereptilian Pleiadians themselves had genetically manipulated the human DNA. MadameH.P.Blavatsky writes about Serpents and Dragons in the Secret Doctrine but sees them assymbols of wisdom. I met John Anthony West in 1994 after he had written Serpent in the Skybased on Swaller de Lubitz‟s work on Egypt and, he was of a similar opinion.Now I was really between the devil and the deep blue sea. Who was I to believe? When Ireturned from a trip to India to see Satya Sai Baba in 1996 I went to a conference hosted by JohnAnthony West, Graham Hancock and Robert Bauval. The most striking thing for me at thisconference was that there was no mention of H.P.Blavatsky and her work which I believe has thebig picture of our ancient past. When I was in an ashram in Puttaparthi in Southern India I waspleased to hear that Sai Baba had a great deal of respect for H.P. Blavatsky and after reading hisbooks I was encouraged to understand my own Christian mystical roots and spent a great deal oftime on that subject only to discover that the Celtic Fisher Kings line of succession to Jesus wentall the way back to the Babylonian half- human, half -fish god Dag or Oannes, theMesopotamian version of the Hindu Matsya (Fish) avatar the first incarnation of Vishnu, theamphibian man-fish. Sai Baba is said to be a reincarnation of Vishnu.
  8. 8. That night Deborah Belle Forman introduced me to Jocelyn Godwin over dinner which wasexciting for me as I had read his book, Arktos, which explains that the gods symbolized theNorth Pole before they symbolized the Sun. I then became more influenced by another school ofthought which included Colin Wilson, David Fideler, David Ulansey, John Michel, JohnAnthony West, Robert Bauval, and Graham Hancock. All were aware of the precession of theequinoxes and Giorgio de Santillana and Gerta von Herzog‟s book, “ Hamlet‟s Mill,” which theauthors feel made a step toward "breaking the code" of archaic cosmogonic symbolism,tracing it back to an astronomical explanation of the familiar myths and legends that describe theworlds scientific origins. These myths have the global range and synthesis which I believe isencoded in the Tarot.In his book, The Case for Astrology, published in 1970, John Anthony West tells us that theknowledge of the precession of the equinoxes calls for an organized scientific effort extendedover long periods of time, and proves that early priest/scientists looked to the heavens forspiritual solutions. And he comes to the conclusion that these ancient high civilizations did notevolve but began that way. All of these ancient civilizations were obsessed with the correlationbetween planets and stars with the gods and goddesses which in essence is a sacred science.Sacred science is based on the premise of a pre-existent „Divine Consciousness‟ which raises noquestion that the universe is ruled by Natural Law. Ancient astronomer/priests believed that weare here to play a specific role according to the „Blue Print‟ of our mission on earth. Recognitionand acceptance of that role is at the core of spirituality.It is Memorial Day 2004 and my friend Patricia Walsh, a Past Life Regressionist associate ofRoger Woolger, reminded me of my past incarnation as a Knights Templar and suggested that asession into the past may revitalize my nervous system. I had told her how I was chilled to thebone when I first reawakened to Christianity‟s links to pagan religions in The Secret Teachingsof All Ages.Patricia took me back in time to a cold, dank prison cell in the fourteenth century, as I awaitedmy trial for heresy by the Inquisition. During the trial I confessed to denying Christ andtrampling on the Holy Cross, but I denied the accusations that the initiation of the Templarsritual consisted of homosexual practicesShe then guided me to the torture chamber where my feet were seared with a branding iron in theshape of a cross, and finally I reenacted the excruciating pain as I suffocated with fumes of thesmoke which I later discovered was the easy way out of a long painful death. At the end of thesession Patricia asked me why my feet are always cold and as I pondered the question a flash ofclarity hit me. I saw that since I‟ve been writing and designing the Tarot I‟m subconsciouslyremembering the scorching heat from the flames of the Inquisitional fire and that the antidote tofire is ice...thus my icy feet.A year later I was guided to take ayahuasca as I heard from sources that I trusted that it is acatalyst to accelerate the merging of the Soul with the personality. During the third experience Ilay on my back looking up at the pitch darkness, my arms stretched out like DaVinci‟s VitrinoMan. I started to experience again the power of my inner sat- guru. I was distinctly aware that
  9. 9. there was a power within me that knew what was impeding my awareness of my spiritualessence. I intellectually knew that I‟m not the body/mind complex but I hadn‟t experienced ituntil that moment in the eternal now. When I opened my eyes the room was enveloped in acobweb of fantastic art in a style reminiscent of the artists Hieronymus Bosch and PieterBruegel who Jung called, “The masters of the monstrous... the discoverer of the unconscious.Later the imagery changed into classic Latin American surrealism of bizarre and exaggeratedexpressions of bird and serpent like forms.As I swirled formlessly through the universe I knew that "I am love”. A mantra played in myhead that, “I am infinite.” Then my inner guru started scanning my physical body and I felt theenergy seeking out the negativity in the deepest crevices of my personality that had to be sent outin the cosmos to be healed. There was nowhere for my personality to hide in the subconscious.My inner guru wanted to get rid of as much stuff as possible that night. As each negative traitappeared on the screen I wanted to vomit but I found myself breathing through it withincredibly expansive cosmic breaths as if I were creating a new universe within me. I wasliterally Shiva destroying my universe so that a new one could be reborn. Now it made sense thatShiva represented the heart because the heart has to destroy the ego driven personality thatmakes life a misery.