Welcome to Fresh Off the Synapse! My weekly wrap up of my favorite jokes and commentary! Sometimes the jokes write themselves and when they don't I do. Hire Leighann to perform, host, or speak at your next event! @LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

1. April 21-25, 2014

2. Kraft recalls packages of
Oscar Mayer Classic Wieners
because they may instead
be Cheese Dogs.
It's irritating when
you don't get the right wiener.
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

3. A 16-yr-old boy stowed away
in the wheel well of a flight
from California to Hawaii.
And probably enjoyed
the same level of service.
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

4. Not paying taxes does not exclude
IRS employees from receiving
performance rewards.
Nice to know, but I wouldn't
bring it up at the audit.
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

5. A Pennsylvania woman,
an ICU patient,
was accused of selling heroin
from her hospital bed.
How else is she going
to be able to pay the bill?
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

6. Brazil’s Congress passed a bill
guaranteeing Internet privacy.
American Kid: Mommy, what’s privacy?
Mom: Shh! They’ll hear you!
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

7. US troops have landed
in Poland for exercises.
Um... Zumba?
How do you say Pilates in Russian?
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

8. I watched
The Men Who Built America
on the History Channel
and didn’t see one slave.
Not. One.
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

9. When I found out I was 33%
European I immediately invaded
my neighbor's house.
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

10. A zonkey – a cross between
a zebra and a donkey –
was born at a zoo in Mexico.
Sounds like a
George Jefferson put down.
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com