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10 Steps to Get Beyond Fear
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10 Steps to Get Beyond Fear



10 Steps to Get Beyond Fear

10 Steps to Get Beyond Fear



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10 Steps to Get Beyond Fear 10 Steps to Get Beyond Fear Presentation Transcript

  • “F!"r #$ r!"%. F!"r #$ $&''!$$ !(!)* #1. F!"r $+,p$ p!,p%! fr,) '"p#+"%-#(. ,( ,pp,r+&(#+*; F!"r w!"r$ /,w( p0*$#'"% v#+"%#+*. F!"r "'+&"%%* )"1!$ p!,p%! $#'1, '"&$!$ ,r."(#' /#ffi'&%+#!$, $0,r+!($ %#f!; f!"r '%3!$ *,&r ),&+0 w0!( *,& w"(+ +, $p!"1.” Dr. D"v#/ S'0w"r4, 5! M".#' ,f 5#(1#(. B#.
  • Are you allowing fear to STOPyou from going for your dreams and desires?
  • Perhaps you have a low-grade fearor worry of something going wrongor losing something?
  • Do you allow fear to dictateyour thoughts, feelings and actions?
  • Would you like to get beyond fear or transcend it but you are not sure how?
  • Here is a 10-step process that might be useful to get beyond fear:
  • 1. Awareness of Fear and Fearful Situations “N,+0#(. #( %#f! #$ +, b! f!"r!/, #+ #$ ,(%* +, b! &(/!r$+,,/. N,w #$ +0! +#)! +, &(/!r$+"(/ ),r!, $, +0"+ w! )"* f!"r %!$$.” ― M"r#! C&r#!
  • Become aware of the role of fear in your life.
  • “what you resist, persists” ARE YOU RESISTING YOUR FEARS?
  • Instead of resisting and fighting fear, acknowledge its presence...
  • Disconnect from the daily grind and be a witness of your fears through stillnessand meditation.
  • “If ! f"!r #!$$%& b" !r&'#()!&"*, '& #!$’& b" #%$q("r"*.”  ― S&"p+"$ K'$,
  • Be mindful and label your thoughts as fear based or non-fear based. Labeling brings out the auto-thought patterns in plain view of your conscious awareness.
  • 2. Is Fear Stopping You From Taking the Big Leap? What are the Types of Fear? “O&r /!!p!$+ f!"r #$ (,+ +0"+ w! "r! #("/!q&"+!. O&r /!!p!$+ f!"r #$ +0"+ w! "r! p,w!r6% b!*,(/ )!"$&r!. I+ #$ ,&r %#.0+, (,+ ,&r /"r1(!$$ +0"+ )3+ fr#.0+!($ &$. W! "$1 ,&r$!%v!$, ‘W0, ") I +, b! br#%%#"(+, .,r.!,&$, +"%!(+!/, f"b&%,&$?’ -M"r#"((! W#%%#")$,(
  • Two basic types of fear are Rational and Irrational.
  • Fears that are reasonable and might have a chance of happening are rational fears such as “what if no one buys my product.”
  • Fears that have a very little chance of happening : “what if a meteorite comes and strikes me?” are irrational fears.
  • There can be many other types of fear: Fear of failure Fear of Judgment Fear of success Fear of speaking  Fear of not being able to make a living Fear of rejection Fear of losing everything Fear of people and public places
  • Are your fears stopping you?
  • 3. Scratching Below the Surface: What is the Basis of Fear? “I %!"r(!/ +0"+ ',&r".! w"$ (,+ +0! "7!('! ,f f!"r, b&+ +0! +r#&)p0 ,v!r #+. 5! br"v! )"( #$ (,+ 0! w0, /,!$ (,+ f!!% "fr"#/, b&+ 0! w0, ',(q&!r$ +0"+ f!"r.” ― N!%$,( M"(/!%"
  • The lizard brain theory of fear says that fear is an emotional response, a fight or flight type response generated by the tiny amigdala that sits at the root of the brain. 
  • A'',r/#(. +, S!+0 G,/#(: “5! %-"r/ #$ " p0*$#'"% p"r+ ,f *,&r br"#(, +0! pr!-0#$+,r#' %&)p (!"r +0! br"#( $+!) +0"+ #$ r!$p,($#b%! f,r f!"r "(/ r".! "(/ r!pr,/&'+#v! /r#v!. W0* /#/ +0! '0#'1!( 'r3$ +0! r,"/? B!'"&$! 0!r %-"r/ br"#( +,%/ 0!r +,.”
  • “Or "$ S+!v!( Pr!$$8!%/ /!$'r#b!$ #+, +0! r!$#$+"('!. 5! r!$#$+"('! #$ +0! v,#'! #( +0! b"'1 ,f ,&r 0!"/ +!%%#(. &$ +, b"'1 ,ff, b! '"r!6%, ., $%,w, ',)pr,)#$!. 5! r!$#$+"('! #$ wr#+!r’$ b%,'1 "(/ p&++#(. :#++!r$ "(/ !v!r* pr,:!'+ +0"+ !v!r $0#pp!/ %"+! b!'"&$! p!,p%! ',&%/(’+ $+"* ,( +0! $")! p".! %,(. !(,&.0 +, .!+ $,)!+0#(. ,&+ +0! /,,r.5! r!$#$+"('! .r,w$ #( $+r!(.+0 "$ w! .!+ '%3!r +, $0#pp#(., "$ w! .!+ '%3!r +, "( #($#.0+, "$ w! .!+ '%3!r +, +0! +r&+0 ,f w0"+ w! r!"%%* w"(+. 5"+’$ b!'"&$! +0! %-"r/ 0"+!$ '0"(.! "(/ "'0#!v!)!(+ "(/ r#$1.” - S!+0 G,/#(
  • Follow Godin’s advise: quieten the lizard brain and ignore it!
  • Dr. D"v#/ S'0w"r4 $"*$:  “I+ #$ '%!"r +0"+ "(* (!."+#v! +0,&.0+, #f f!r+#%-!/ w#+0 r!p!"+!/ r!'"%%, '"( /!v!%,p #(+, " r!"% )#(/ ),($+!r, br!"1#(. /,w( ',(8/!('! "(/ p"v#(. +0! w"* +, $!r#,&$ p$*'0,%,.#'"% /#ffi'&%+#!$.”
  • Fear is sustained and supported by the mental chatter that goes on automatically in the head. The moment you question the validityof the fear based thinking, you may be able to put the brakes on the process.
  • The snowball effect of fear, worry, assumptions and unrealistic ideas runs on the engine of perceived truths and not what might be the reality of the matter. 
  • Dr. S#+w!r- !).% .!/.: “Y%( &!0" ! b', .&"p f%rw!r* &%w!r*. #%$q("r'$, f"!r w+"$ /%( r"1." &% r"2"2b"r $",!&'v", .")f *"pr"#!&'$, &+%(,+&..” 
  • Understand what lies beneath your fears: indecision, lack of confidence or trust issues. 
  • 4. What Sustains Fear in the Present? Recognize the Cues or triggers and Submodalities that Sustain Fear  “Y%(r f"!r '. 100% *"p"$*"$& %$ /%( f%r '&. .(rv'v!).” ― S&"v" M!r!b%)', L'f", &+" Tr(&+, !$* B"'$, Fr""
  • Dr. R'#+!r* B!$*)"r, #%-'$v"$&%r %f NLP fr%2 &+" b%%0, G"& &+" L'f" Y%( W!$&: “W" *"3$"* &+'$0'$, '$ ."v"r!) *'ff"r"$& w!/.: &+'$0'$, '$ p'#&(r"., &+'$0'$, '$ w%r*., !$* &+'$0'$, '$ f"")'$,., &!.&"., !$* .2")).. S'$#" &+"$, I’v" &!0"$ '& ! .&"p 1r&+"r b/ br"!0'$, "!#+ %f &+5" ./.&"2. *%w$ '$&% &+"'r v!r'%(. #%2p%$"$&. !$* q(!)'&'".. 6" q(!)'&'". %f '2!,"., .%($*., !$* f"")'$,. !r" 0$%w$ !. .(b2%*!)'&'"..” 
  • The set of structures that keep fear alive and kick it into high gear are a certain set of submodalities. For example, certain thoughts, physical sensations, sounds, images and/or looking in a certain direction might be triggering and maintaining the fear.
  • What does fear feel like and look like in your body and your mind?
  • Dr. B"(/%!r ;p%"#($ +0"+ f!!%#(.$ $+"r+ $,)!w0!r! #( +0! b,/* "(/ "r! "%w"*$ ),v#(. #( $,)! /#r!'+#,( "(/ &$&"%%* '"((,+ $+"* $+#%%. H! ;p%"#($ +0"+ f!"r )"(#f!$+$ #+$!%f "$ " f!!%#(. ,r " 1(,+ #( ,&r .&+ +0"+ )#.0+ b! !(!r.* r,+"+#(. f,rw"r/ ,r b"'1w"r/$ #( ,&r b,/*.
  • By moving the energy a bit faster or slowing it down or by reversing it, we may be able to better manage our energy, feelings and fear.
  • Habit research from MIT that has shown that habits can be broken up into a trigger or cue, an action and a reward. 
  • Identify the trigger or cue for a fear and actions that feed the fear and the potential rewards or the feeling of relief/safety when you engage the fear.
  • Often a thought or an object like a white board marker or turning the computer on before a public presentation might be the trigger or cue for the fear. The actions you take such as thinking all the worst-case scenarios and rituals that you do may be sustaining the fear.   The reward is relief and what you think might keep you safe from the fear of failure or judgment if you engage the fear habit.
  • Alter the cue or trigger... Choose to respond differently... Use a better outcome or motivation as a reward ... Thwart the automatic cycle of fear!
  • “M!.&"r'$, %&+"r. '. .&r"$,&+. M!.&"r'$, %$".")f 2!0". /%( f"!r)"...” ― L!% Tz(
  • 5. Get the Proper Perspective of Fear and Fearful Situations and People “5!r! "r! +w, 1#(/$ ,f f!"r$: r"+#,("% "(/ #rr"+#,("%- ,r #( $#)p%!r +!r)$, f!"r$ +0"+ )"1! $!($! "(/ f!"r$ +0"+ /,(’+.” ― L!),(* S(#'1!+
  • It is more important to place the fear in the right perspective. “I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” ― Mark Twain
  • Fear is often not reality based and hence the popular acronym, Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. Here is a formula for fear: Inaction+ Past false evidence + Future catastrophic thinking + Snowball of thoughts and feelings = FEAR
  • “V,%/!),r+ #$ p%"*#(. " v!r* '%!v!r .")!. D!'%"r#(. 0#)$!%f )#.0+ 0"v! pr,v,1!/ ,p!( r!b!%%#,(. R!)"#(#(. )"$1!/ 0"$ 'r!"+!/ ',(6$#,(, &('!r+"#(+*, "(/ f!"r.” ― Fear remains masked and hidden from plain sight creating an aura of mystery and inapproachability. J.K. R,w%#(., H"rr* P,++!r "(/ +0! D!"+0%* H"%%,w$ 
  • “6" %$)/ &+'$, w" +!v" &% f"!r '. f"!r '&.")f.” ― Fr!$0)'$ D. R%5"v")&
  • Rationalize the fear and see the other end of the spectrum. Reverse the fear by asking what if something great will happen or ENGAGE the best-casescenario
  • 6. Action Dispels Fear “I("'+#,( br!!/$ /,&b+ "(/ f!"r. A'+#,( br!!/$ ',(8/!('! "(/ ',&r".!. If *,& w"(+ +, ',(q&!r f!"r, /, (,+ $#+ 0,)! "(/ +0#(1 "b,&+ #+. G, ,&+ "(/ .!+ b&$*.” - D"%! C"r(!.#!
  • “J%& &+!& *%w$ '$ /%(r .(##".. r()" b%%0 r',+& $%w. A#&'%$ #(r". f"!r.”-Dr. S#+w!r- Dr. Schwartz’s steps to conquer your fears: 1. Become very clear about what you are afraid of. Pinpoint your fear down. 2. Take action and that there is an action for every type of fear.
  • Dr. Schwartz rightly mentions that being hesitant and not being decisive causes fears to magnify and intensify...
  • Brian Tracy’s books is called: Eat that Frog and he recommends doing the thing you most hesitate or you are fearful about or you are putting off as your first task in the morning. “Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • Break up the task or fear into very small parts Take action on one small thing that scares you. Very small fears = more tolerable.
  • 7. Fear as a Teacher: What are your fears trying to tell you? “D,('+ b! "fr"#/ ,f *,&r f!"r$. 5!*'r! (,+ +0!r! +, $'"r! *,&. 5!*'r! +0!r! +, %!+ *,& 1(,w +0"+ $,)!+0#(. #$ w,r+0 #+.” ― C. J,*B!%% C.
  • In a highly engaging TED talk, writer Karen Thompson Walker describes a very different perspective of fear, one where you ask the question: “what can I learn from this fear.”
  • “O(r f"!r. !r" !$ !27'$, ,'8 %f &+" '2!,'$!&'%$…! w!/ %f ,)'2p.'$, w+!& 2',+& b" &+" 1&(r" w+"$ &+"r"’. .&')) &'2" &% '$9("$#" +%w &+!& 1&(r" w')) p)!/ %(&.” “J(.& )'0" !)) ,r"!& .&%r'"., %(r f"!r. f%#(. %(r !&&"$&'%$ %$ ! q(".&'%$ &+!& '. !. '2p%r&!$& '$ )'f" !. '& '. '$ )'&"r!&(r": W+!& w')) +!pp"$ $:&?” - K!r"$ 6%2p.%$ W!)0"r
  • In both cases, one thing leads to another. Fears are like writing fiction or storytelling because each part affects the whole. Both have a beginning, a plot and an end. Both have the same architecture and have a main character and provoke suspense. Walker suggests that the similarities between a story and our fears are striking.
  • While reading stories of fear, use the calculated judgementof a scientistalong with the vivid imagination of an artist. Walker suggests that if fears are stories with you in them, you are the author of that story and how you choose to read the story has profound impact on your life.
  • The 20 sailors had 3 choices: sail to the nearest islands that were possibly inhabited by cannibals Sail to Hawaii through the storms sail to South America and face starvation on the long journey Walker gives the example of the whaleship Essex that sank 2000 miles west of South America in 1820 by a whale attack
  • Walker says that studies have shown: Positively paranoid successful entrepreneurs monitor and read their fears very closely + Translate those fears into preparation and action... ...if their fears indeed came true.
  • Action Tips: Consider the possibility that our fears are stories we tell ourselves. How we read, interpret and choose a story of fear may have a great impact!
  • 8. Fear and the role of Excitement, faith and courage: Transform Fear “M5& +!&r"* '. b!."* %$ f"!r, %$" w!/ %r !$%&+"r. Y"!+. I wr!pp"* 2/.")f '$ !$,"r, w'&+ ! *!.+ %f +!&", !$* !& &+" b%&&%2 %f '& !)) w!. !$ '#/ #"$&"r %f p(r" &"rr%r.” ― L!(r")) K. H!2')&%$
  • In the classic Star Wars movie, The Empire Strikes Back, the apprentice Jedi warrior and student Luke Skywalker is instructed to enter a caveby Master Yoda where he must confront his worst fears.
  • To live a daring creative adventure, we have to confront our greatest fears . The cave is a metaphor for our imaginative fears that confront us on every dark corner of our lives, challenging us, mocking us.
  • “5!r!’$ ,(%* ,(! w"* +, .!+ +0r,&.0 +0! f,. ,f f!"r, "(/ +0"+’$ +, +r"($f,r) #+ #(+, +0! '%"r#+* ,f ;0#%"r"+#,(.” ~ Dr. G"* H!(/r#'1$, "&+0,r ,f 5! B#. L!"p.
  • “F"!r '. :#'&"2"$& w'&+%(& &+" br"!&+.” ~ F,&(/!r ,f G!$+"%+ +0!r"p*. Dr. Fr#4 P!r%$ Dr. Hendricks explains that fear and excitement are related and uses the example from Dr. Fritz Perls
  • Dr. Hendricks explains that fear and excitement are produced by the same mechanisms. Fear can be transformed into excitement by breathing fully into it.
  • On the other hand, excitement can turn into fear by holding the breath and trying to get rid of the feeling of fear.
  • “A$* %$" +!. &% ($*"r.&!$* &+!& br!v"$".. '. $%& &+" !;"$#" %f f"!r b(& r!&+"r &+" .&r"$,&+ &% 0""p %$ ,%'$, f%rw!r* *".p'&" &+" f"!r.” ―P!()% C%")+%
  • Ask “what is the worst that can happen?” “R"2"2b"r'$, &+!& /%( !r" ,%'$, &% *'" '. &+" b".& w!/ I 0$%w &% !v%'* &+" &r!p %f &+'$0'$, &+!& /%( +!v" .%2"&+'$, &% )5".” -S&"v" J%;, S&!$f%r* C%22"$#"2"$& 2005
  • Another way to transform fear is to find things that you can express deep heartfelt gratitude and love towards. Our conscious minds can only process 40 to 60 bits of information per second and if we occupy our thoughts with joy, humor, happiness and other powerful feelings, we can learn to manage fears better.
  • “6"r" !r" &w% b!.'# 2%&'v!&'$, f%r#".: f"!r !$* )%v". W+"$ w" !r" !fr!'*, w" p()) b!#0 fr%2 )'f". W+"$ w" !r" '$ )%v", w" %p"$ &% !)) &+!& )'f" +!. &% %ff"r w'&+ p!..'%$, :#'&"2"$&, !$* !##"p&!$#".” - J%+$ L"$$%$
  • 9. Get Community support and find examples of people who got beyond their fears. “F!"r #$ #(!v#+"b%!, I 0"v! +, "''!p+ +0"+, b&+ I '"((,+ "%%,w #+ +, p"r"%<! )!.” ― I$"b!% A%%!(/!.
  • Action Tip: Find others that have similar fears like you and ask how they managed and overcame their fears.
  • Share your fears and get support...
  • 10. Learn how to manage your energy… exercise, move, feel powerful and feel grateful. “W0!( *,& "r! .r"+!6%, f!"r /#$"pp!"r$ "(/ "b&(/"('! "pp!"r$.” ― A(+0,(* R,bb#($
  • Research studies on will power: It is easier to deplete motivation and will power than what we previously thought... DO YOU HAVE THE WILL TO POWER THROUGH YOUR FEARS?
  • In one study, half of the participants were asked to exercise will power by not choosing cookies and instead choosing a healthier option. The other group were allowed to choose cookies and did not need to exercise will power by choosing the healthy option.
  • Right after the will power exercise, difficult puzzles were administered to both groups and the group that did NOT exercise self control fared a lot better in the puzzles. The theory: Pre-using your self-control makes you vulnerable to not having enough reserves for later on use.
  • Understand your natural rhythms and when your will power is depleted and become well rested before tackling your fears.
  • Another technique is to find intrinsic and extrinsic motivations that allow you to connect to a bigger picture while facing or managing fears. If you input more energy and more engagement into taking small steps towards moving through your fears, chances are that you will find more success.
  • A New Model To Get Beyond Fear: Become AWARE of how fear operates in your life + Develop evidence to why you will SUCCEED (not false evidence of failure and doom) + Develop EXPECTATION and HOPE (and not catastrophic thinking) + ENGAGE in thoughts and feelings of LOVE, GRATITUDE and HUMOR (and STOP the snowball effects of fearful thoughts and feelings) + CHANGE the submodalities and trigger/action/reward loop that fear is sustained by + Quieten and IGNORE the lizard brain + get SUPPORT from people who transcended fear + Put Fear in PERSPECTIVE (ask what is the worst that can happen) + TRANSFORM fear into EXCITEMENT by deep breathing + LEARN from Fear and use logic and emotion to choose which fear story to listen to + MANAGE your energy and will power and get INSPIRED by intrinsic/extrinsic motivators + TRANSFORM Inaction in the current moment to ACTION, even if it is very small steps = HORIZONS BEYOND FEAR LAUNCHYOURGENIUS.COM
  • SUMMARY 1.  Become aware of Fear and Fearful Situations and the cost of fear in your life. 2. Is Fear Stopping You From Taking the Big Leap? Are your fears Rational? 3. Scratching Below the Surface: Understand the Basis of Fear. 4. Recognize the Cues or triggers and Submodalities that Sustain Fear. 5. Get the Proper Perspective of Fear and Fearful Situations and People. 6. Action Dispels Fear. Action Dispels Fear. Action Dispels Fear. 7. Fear as a Teacher: What are your fears trying to tell you. 8. Fear and the role of Excitement and courage: Transform Fear. 9. Get Community support and find examples of people who got beyond their fears. 10. Learn how to manage your energy: Exercise, move, feel powerful, feel more gratitude and Transform fear into fuel for change.
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