You have an subconscious internal feeling of comfort within a certain range.
Establishing Your Comfort Scales
The key to this is focusing on your body feelings.
Your body feelings will tell you much more precisely how comfortable you are with a situation, then your intellect.
Let’s establish a scale from 1 to 10. 1 being so much discomfort and pain, that there is no way to tolerate it. This is the ultimate life threat. 10 meaning the most enjoyable state you could think of. 5 would be neutral, so this would be the Neutral State (NS), where you are okay with a situation. It isn’t great and it isn’t bad, just okay.
Establish your Comfort Scale for HAVING THE MONEY Consider you current annual income. 2. Think about how comfortable you would feel if you HAD 10%, 20%, 30% and more money per year. 3. Then think about making 10% less per year or 20% or 30%.
Fear of greatness As Marianne Williamson said in her book, a Return to Love (1992):"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us."Your playing small doesn't serve the world.There's nothing enlightened about shrinkingso that other people won't feel insecure around you”
Becoming conscious of the belief helps to let it go.
Finish the sentences below.. I think the world is … I think I am … I think people are I think my job is … I think my health is … I think my financial power is … I think that my ability to experience love, joy, ecstasy is … I think … you may come up with anything else that is in your life here
Come up with an action plan that will allow your vision to come to fruition.
Your plan doesn't have to be perfect, but TAKING ACTION towards a goal is essential.
Action plans should be: SMART Specific Measurable Attainable Realistic Time Sensitive Include daily, weekly, monthly objectives…
Breaking it down… Break it all up into smaller, doable steps. Important so that we do not get overwhelmed with a huge goal. This is where people often get stuck, get discouraged or do not know where to start. For example, a goal of losing 30 lbs can start with losing 4 pounds by February, then a total of 10 pounds by March, etc.
Doable? Your action plan has to seem DOABLE to you. You should be pretty confident at the time you set the goals that you will be able to achieve them. In other words, it has to be believableto you.
Staying Motivated What is the REASON for wanting the specific outcome to come to fruition? Keep original purpose / reason for end result in mind. Sometimes we lose sight of our original motivation when we get wrapped up in everyday details. Helps to have an accountability partner.
If you feel yourself getting off track Be mindful! Remember your dream! Visualize it! Write it down on paper. Tell someone. If you think it may be helpful, ask someone to remind you of your dream.
If you find yourself becoming discouraged along the way:
Remember to congratulate yourself on each step Celebrate the small victories. After all, the little accomplishments and choices we make will eventually allow our dream to come to fruition.
JUST BELIEVE. Finally, you have to BELIEVE, not just wish or hope. Believe in yourself fully and rid yourself of negative belief systems, ruminations or even excuses about *not* being able to reach your goal. We often hold ourselves back. Ideas would not come to us if we did not have the resources (or access to the resources) to implement the ideas.
Are your daily actions contributing towards your ultimate goal?
Energy, action, focus and momentum are all key!
Reduce Stress De-clutter your life. Give yourself an extra 15 minutes to arrive. Surround yourself with positive people. Become mindful of patterns (mental, emotional, behavioral patterns) that hold you back. Achieve better work/life balance.
USE HUMOR! “Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be. You can survive it.” –Bill Cosby
So Laugh! Try to find something funny in every situation. “Life is not a stress rehearsal.” — Loretta Laroche Our culture waits to have fun.
Optimism Some people are naturally optimists We can learn optimism (M. Seligman)
Pessimists vs Optimists Pessimists tend to have thoughts that are permanent and pervasive: (Seligman) Example of different explanatory styles: You forget a spouse’s birthday. I’m not good at remembering birthdays. (permanent) OR: I was preoccupied with other things.
Positivity Focus on what you HAVE (not on what you do not have) Find the “bless” in the “mess” Think of 3 positive aspects to every situation GRATITUDE (create a daily inventory)
Positivity To experience 100% positivity defies and denies the humanness of life. (B. Fredrickson) Aim for a positivity ratio of 3:1 3 positive emotional experiences to every negative emotional experience (the tipping point)
Stopping the cycle Distract yourself (with healthy distractions) Dispute the thought with evidence. Tell yourself to STOP! Don’t ruminate. Wear a rubber band & snap it when you have automatic negative thoughts.
Move forward with mindfulness Don’t focus your energy on the problem What are you going to do? What is the solution? Reframe into pieces that you can manage right now Don’t overwhelm yourself Cognitive Distortions / Irrational and Distorted Thinking: Don’t try to be perfect Live in the moment: Be present and focused
"Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine... And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." -Marianne Williamson