1. -1Amanda Kitchen
Assignment Chapters 1 and 2
Dr. Degesso
I once read a statistic that stated three in every four women have been a victim of
a sexual violation during their lifetime. This can include rape, molestation, sexual
harassment, and incest. I was surprised, despite the fact that I fall into this category
myself. Often as a victim, you feel very alone. Victims tend to express self blame,
including feelings of fear, humiliation, and anger. Women have been socialized with the
attitude to blame the victim.
In High School I had a boyfriend who was very controlling. When I broke things
off he was very upset. He begged me to get back together and followed me around for
weeks to no avail. One day out of the blue he simply stopped, said he was sorry for his
outrageous behavior and seemingly moved on. Over time we built a friendship. Several
months later he invited me to a party, that many of our mutual friends would be attending.
There was drinking involved and over the course of the evening I became quite
inebriated. He offered to drive me home, and stopped at a friends house on the way home
to “say hi”. While inside, he proceeded to lock me in a room with four of his friends that
he had explicitly instructed to forcibly have sex with me. Halfway through the incident,
after what seemed like hours of screaming another guy from school who happened to stop
over, broke in the room picked me up and put me in his car. I pleaded with him to not
take me to the hospital, and made him swear that he would never tell another person. It
was very traumatic, and I never spoke of it again for years after. I felt at the time, that I
2. had put myself into a dangerous situation, I was ashamed and humiliated. Even having
gone through a violent situation myself, I was shocked to learn during an open discussion
with close friends that two of them had also lain victim to sexual violence. One of the
girls had been molested by an uncle as a child, and subsequently chastised by her parents
while being told that she was to blame. Another friend had been repeatedly raped by her
much older brother for a period exceeding four years.
It is sad, but the statistics seem to measure up. Women lay helpless to the
dominance of the male authoritative figure from birth. It is only through development and
experience that they can choose to play the victim or feel empowered to overcome this
societal role. I will not suffer in silence, but many women do. Many will always blame
themselves, and suffer in silence. Most women are affected psychologically throughout
the course of their lives. They ruin relationships, punish their children, remain
emotionally devoid, and sometimes die with their secret. Treatment must be sought, and
hopefully in the end they can walk the path to healing.