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-1Amanda Kitchen

                                Assignment Chapters 1 and 2

                                         Dr. Degesso



        I once read a statistic that stated three in every four women have been a victim of

a sexual violation during their lifetime. This can include rape, molestation, sexual

harassment, and incest. I was surprised, despite the fact that I fall into this category

myself. Often as a victim, you feel very alone. Victims tend to express self blame,

including feelings of fear, humiliation, and anger. Women have been socialized with the

attitude to blame the victim.

        In High School I had a boyfriend who was very controlling. When I broke things

off he was very upset. He begged me to get back together and followed me around for

weeks to no avail. One day out of the blue he simply stopped, said he was sorry for his

outrageous behavior and seemingly moved on. Over time we built a friendship. Several

months later he invited me to a party, that many of our mutual friends would be attending.

There was drinking involved and over the course of the evening I became quite

inebriated. He offered to drive me home, and stopped at a friends house on the way home

to “say hi”. While inside, he proceeded to lock me in a room with four of his friends that

he had explicitly instructed to forcibly have sex with me. Halfway through the incident,

after what seemed like hours of screaming another guy from school who happened to stop

over, broke in the room picked me up and put me in his car. I pleaded with him to not

take me to the hospital, and made him swear that he would never tell another person. It

was very traumatic, and I never spoke of it again for years after. I felt at the time, that I
had put myself into a dangerous situation, I was ashamed and humiliated. Even having

gone through a violent situation myself, I was shocked to learn during an open discussion

with close friends that two of them had also lain victim to sexual violence. One of the

girls had been molested by an uncle as a child, and subsequently chastised by her parents

while being told that she was to blame. Another friend had been repeatedly raped by her

much older brother for a period exceeding four years.

       It is sad, but the statistics seem to measure up. Women lay helpless to the

dominance of the male authoritative figure from birth. It is only through development and

experience that they can choose to play the victim or feel empowered to overcome this

societal role. I will not suffer in silence, but many women do. Many will always blame

themselves, and suffer in silence. Most women are affected psychologically throughout

the course of their lives. They ruin relationships, punish their children, remain

emotionally devoid, and sometimes die with their secret. Treatment must be sought, and

hopefully in the end they can walk the path to healing.

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Rape and incest

  • 1. -1Amanda Kitchen Assignment Chapters 1 and 2 Dr. Degesso I once read a statistic that stated three in every four women have been a victim of a sexual violation during their lifetime. This can include rape, molestation, sexual harassment, and incest. I was surprised, despite the fact that I fall into this category myself. Often as a victim, you feel very alone. Victims tend to express self blame, including feelings of fear, humiliation, and anger. Women have been socialized with the attitude to blame the victim. In High School I had a boyfriend who was very controlling. When I broke things off he was very upset. He begged me to get back together and followed me around for weeks to no avail. One day out of the blue he simply stopped, said he was sorry for his outrageous behavior and seemingly moved on. Over time we built a friendship. Several months later he invited me to a party, that many of our mutual friends would be attending. There was drinking involved and over the course of the evening I became quite inebriated. He offered to drive me home, and stopped at a friends house on the way home to “say hi”. While inside, he proceeded to lock me in a room with four of his friends that he had explicitly instructed to forcibly have sex with me. Halfway through the incident, after what seemed like hours of screaming another guy from school who happened to stop over, broke in the room picked me up and put me in his car. I pleaded with him to not take me to the hospital, and made him swear that he would never tell another person. It was very traumatic, and I never spoke of it again for years after. I felt at the time, that I
  • 2. had put myself into a dangerous situation, I was ashamed and humiliated. Even having gone through a violent situation myself, I was shocked to learn during an open discussion with close friends that two of them had also lain victim to sexual violence. One of the girls had been molested by an uncle as a child, and subsequently chastised by her parents while being told that she was to blame. Another friend had been repeatedly raped by her much older brother for a period exceeding four years. It is sad, but the statistics seem to measure up. Women lay helpless to the dominance of the male authoritative figure from birth. It is only through development and experience that they can choose to play the victim or feel empowered to overcome this societal role. I will not suffer in silence, but many women do. Many will always blame themselves, and suffer in silence. Most women are affected psychologically throughout the course of their lives. They ruin relationships, punish their children, remain emotionally devoid, and sometimes die with their secret. Treatment must be sought, and hopefully in the end they can walk the path to healing.