How to deal with people with Autism


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How to deal with people with Autism

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How to deal with people with Autism

  1. 1. How to deal with Aspies By : Khawar Nehal 8 Nov 2013
  2. 2. How to deal with Aspies Aspie is a short form of Asperger's. Asperger's is a part of neurodisorders. Neurodisorders are of two types. Restriction of development which is termed neurodevelopmental disorders and Degeneration after development which are called neurodegenerative disorders.
  3. 3. Cause Most neurodisorders are cause by environmental factors, but research is directed away from them by accepting reviews of research as real research priority is given to genetics based research which is unable to find cures because of the false premise.
  4. 4. Cures Cures to most neurodisorders can be done by finding the major environmental causes and eliminating them. The development takes about 5 years and then another 5 years are required to learn about society or motor skills via practice.
  5. 5. How to deal with Aspies To be able to deal with people with such conditions, it is useful to read up on the differences in behavior and limitations they have. Many have to live a life where they have to act normal so they do not tell you the differences. Some aspies do not even know that their thinking is different and live a life wondering why other people think so differently or are so against them for no reason.
  6. 6. How to deal with Aspies As more research is and misinformation is directed to genetic causes and environmental causes are ignored, you can expect more autistic and aspergers and parkinsons to prevail. To cure it many need to open their minds to real results.
  7. 7. Tolerance Use your association with the person to learn what they can tolerate in regard to social interaction. Often people with Asperger's are easily overloaded, and since social give-andtake is more effort for them, they are easily tired, and don't find gracious ways of indicating that. But the sense of a connection with you is very important to them.
  8. 8. Tolerance You will see in your aspie a tendency to say or do things that are socially inappropriate at the time, such as saying something out loud most people have learned to keep in their heads, getting too close to someone else, or cutting in line -- this is because they don't see the larger social picture, most of the time, and don't understand what other people are thinking or feeling. You can tell them, if you can do so without judgement -- we can't cut the line here, all these other people have been waiting.
  9. 9. Tolerance People with Asperger's are not closed off socially like some people with Autism are. Asperger's is a high-functioning condition, and the people who have Asperger's typically have near normal language skills and near-normal development skills. But many of those with Asperger's may find it hard to strike up a conversation when first encounting a one to one situation. It helps them to be able to talk about their interests, and for you to share your own without being asked (people with Asperger's might not think to ask).
  10. 10. Difference They have been taught by society all the time to “be normal.” They spend most of their mental resources trying to come up with formulas and short cuts to real world inputs and responses which are appropriate.
  11. 11. Difference Don't treat your friend any differently than you want to be treated. It's embarrassing and insulting and makes them feel as if they are failing to be normal in a world that demands it to even be present in any place. Approaching, attempting conversation, sitting next to, introducing to others, etc. as if the person is any different is not only ignorant, it is grossly disrespectful, and expresses a careless disregard for the other person's feelings. Don't think they won't notice.
  12. 12. Difference Aspies are very suspicious of people trying to make them look or appear different. They have been hurt many times by people calling them “different” and resulting in the being rejected or ejected from the group or party.
  13. 13. Difference They already have a tough time blending in and being introduced as different makes it almost impossible to be “normal.” So if you introduce an aspie as different into any new group, then expect some strange hostility from them in the long run especially if they want to be in their target group or place for the long run.
  14. 14. Talk Talk to your friend like you would talk to anyone else. As you do, you will pick up on clues regarding what they are comfortable with. Use those clues to direct your behaviour. They can tolerate a lot of simple normal topics like wasting time on politics or on an game which has no value to the future and benefit in the real world. They might want to discuss science or business or something which they think is not so much a waste of time.
  15. 15. Entertainment Aspies want to play other characters as entertainment. Especially aliens, superheroes, or anything which is different from the common world. They are “playing” the common person all their life and want to show off their skills of almost perfect acting by taking on a different role and show of perfection. You may find that their attention to details is too much and “such a big deal.”
  16. 16. Anti-assumption Assuming something makes an “A** out of U and me.” A**-U-Me. This is the hard lesson learned by all aspies early in life so it becomes a hard rule. No assumptions until you have something in writing.
  17. 17. Anti-assumption Don't lay your emotions bare to your aspie friend without an explanation of why you feel this way. You would be alluding to something, and they may not necessarily comprehend what your point is. Even if they get it, they shall feel they need a confirmation before accepting anything.
  18. 18. Anti-assumption Telling them how you feel, even when you think it's patently obvious, is a commonly used social skill, but don't expect them to do the same. This sort of interaction is so foreign that it is frightening. They have so much experience in getting into so much trouble, that they cannot even think about doing such behavior.
  19. 19. Anti-assumption Additionally, If you are going to get "touchy feely" it can sometimes be very helpful to instigate this, but please don't surprise them. Always ask before you hug your aspie friend. If they say "no," respect that, it's not necessarily personal; they could well find some sensory experiences unusually overwhelming.
  20. 20. Strange Actions If you feel that they are acting strangely, don't draw attention to it (unless it is dangerous or you can see that it is drawing attention that might get them into trouble). You'll be best off saying something that you would say to anyone else, if you do it in a friendly way, such as "that's bothering me," or "please don't do that."
  21. 21. Strange Actions If there is enough humour and affection in your relationship and/or your tone, you can tell them "that looks a little odd." If they ask why, explain without condescension, the way you might explain to a new driver how to merge onto a highway -- people with Asperger's don't tend to pick up on such things, as smart as they may be or look.
  22. 22. Strange Actions They are considered geniuses but also look like totally dumb jerks when it comes to social skills. Although some behaviors are out of the ordinary, they are usually not serious. Sometimes they shall swivel from side to side in an office chair or rock back and forth like a pendulum while in an important meeting and not even know they are doing it. Really they don't. For normal people that is considered rude and even ruder to act like you did not know that you were doing such actions without intent.
  23. 23. Parties Of course you can offer to introduce them to your other friends! Like most of us they may act differently in the presence of your friends, or their friends. Social interaction is generally hard work and emotionally exhausting for Aspies.
  24. 24. Parties They may enjoy the social interaction or find too much to cope with. If the situation is socially awkward and a bit clumsy, it may not be Asperger's, they could simply not get along. However, don't try to force them to get along with your friends. They will probably be most outgoing only when encountered one-on-one.
  25. 25. Parties To get better social interaction from an aspie, it is better to make sure they are well rested. For them a party is like a marathon. If they have less sleep, you can expect them to make more “mistakes” and blow up and have to leave the party because they cannot take it. “Take it” means perform like normal long enough for others to get to know them a bit.
  26. 26. Parties You will notice that they shall turn down invitations to even very important events if they feel they cannot get enough rest. Do not give alcohol to an aspie. There is a very high chance they shall let down their guard and tell everything about them and their close ones with extreme detail. Aspies are very good knowing the values of others by observing others behavior. Their lack of communication skills is the thing which makes others outside think they do not know much about the other people.
  27. 27. Parties Aspies can predict better what another person who is around them is going to do, sometimes even before or better than the person being predicted about. The reason is that to be able to live with others, they have to learn more about what the others's values are in order not to step over them. It is like living with tigers and learning where their tails are all the time so as not to step over them ever.
  28. 28. Relationship speed Use caution when getting close to people with Asperger's simply because they develop relationships differently. You will find that you will develop a liking for them just the same as you would anyone else. Just don't push it. Once they trust you, they shall do more for you than normal people do for others.
  29. 29. Relationship speed Do not use their weaknesses against them. If they find out 100% confirmed that you were using their weaknesses against them and misusing their trust then expect to be dumped for life and they will remember to place you in their permanent records as blacklisted. They shall also inform others forever and beyond to stay away from you. Unlike normal people who will forget after a few years.
  30. 30. Shells A person who is shy, but generally not considered disordered will take a little while to adjust to social environments. We call that a shell, and when these people become outgoing and comfortable we say 'They have come out of their shell.' People with Asperger's have multiple shells. Others think they have come out of a shell and for aspies it is just another shell which acts more open. Let them adjust on their own, or not at all.
  31. 31. Shells The shells are like the onion example given in shrek. Shrek says ogers are like onions. Then donkey has to act normal and doesn't get it so the oger has to give up trying to explain.
  32. 32. Responses As in all forms of Autism, Asperger's effects everyone differently. When dealing with them, don't try to keep a catalog in your head of 'when he does this, I need to do this.' or 'When she says this, I need to do this.' You used that technique when you were little and learning subconscious social actions, but you don't need it now.
  33. 33. Responses However aspies have to keep on making a complicated list of responses like people do when they were small. That is why they act childish sometimes, very mature when they are well rested, like geniuses when they keep quite in a social setting and complete jerks if they are asked their opinion about the real world.
  34. 34. Responses Well you did ask them for “real.” They do not look at the world through rose tinted glasses. They see more reality because they want to be more careful of other's values.
  35. 35. Friend Above all, be a friend. No one is more aware of the social differences between you than they are. Friends care about others. Not take advantage of them or ridicule or hurt them.
  36. 36. Friend Being aware of an individual who has Asperger's preferences may help you be a better friend to them but don't point these differences out to them repeatedly or in a group. They know they are different and they will resent being treated differently if attention is drawn to it. The good thing is that if they call you a friend and tell others, then they really believe you are their friend. They shall do more than they can to keep you as their friend. Even if you do not do much of anything for them.
  37. 37. Warning Aspies tend to take things literally. (Unless they have already learned and are sure that what is being said is slang or means something else). They may take some time to make sure the statement is true before taking drastic action.
  38. 38. Warning In some cases, where they do make the mistake of assuming that what is being said is actually meant, it is the responsibility of the sender of the message to be responsible for the literal meaning. Saying that is not what was meant is not going to get digested easily or at all especially of you are dealing multiple aspies accepting the message literally.
  39. 39. Contact Want to know more ? Voice : 971-55-639-8386 Email :