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Domestic abuse falls into a common pattern, or cycle of violence. An abusive partner lashes out with aggressive, belittling, or violent behavior. The abuse is a power play designed to show you "who is boss." Recognizing the signs of an abusive relationship is one thing, but having the courage to do something about it is yet another. If you feel that you are in an abusive relationship, talk to your friends and your family. There is absolutely nothing about which you should feel ashamed and these people care about you. Every state has a State Coalition Against Domestic Violence and more than likely, there is a domestic violence help center very close to you. Domestic violence is learned behavior on the part of the abuser and no matter how hard you try, you can’t change that behavior. Recognize the signs and take action.