All Hail The Evil Emperor
The White Legacy:
Generation Five, Chapter Four
So you can‟t see Vis or Maugrim in this picture… I probably should have planned this better… but this is the White
Legacy!...
Hey Arie… is that a new dress? And are you wearing lipstick?
Arie: “Shut up, Author.”
You‟re very excited for your date wi...
*doorbell*

Arie: *muttering* “Freakin‟… flippin‟… fetchin‟…”
Kevin: “Hi, Arie.”

Arie: “Kevin.”
Kevin: “…I-I know I say this a lot, and I probably don‟t sound like I mean it because I...
Arie: “Alright, one date.”

Told you she liked him.
Now, I do believe we have a legacy family hanging out on Twikkii Islan...
Vis: “Hey Ella?”

Ella: “What‟s up, squirt?”
Vis: “How come we‟re playing on the beach instead of looking for Grandpa?”
Ella: “Grandpa won‟t be out and about during the day, bud.”

Vis: “Why not?”
Ella: “Well, let‟s just say he gets sunburned...
Vis: “Let‟s find some crabs and make them the king and queen of the castle!”

Sol: “Vis, you fail as an evil sim.”
Vis: “U...
Awww, you‟re wearing the bigfoot pajamas I‟ve seen everywhere but my own game!! I love new stuff packs!! You
are SO adorab...
Ella: *braaap*

Sol: “Nice, Ella.”
Hyde: “Eat up, everyone. We‟ve got a long night of vampire hunting ahead of us.”
Vis: “...
Vis: “I like this shirt! It‟s bright and orange and happy, just like my soul!”
Sol: “Do we really have to wear these dorky...
Ella: “Ah, Pirate Dummy, my oldest foe. When I am finished with you, you will not even remember your own name, er, Pirate ...
Ghost Captain Dregg: “Arr, yer sister be a fine hand with a cutlass, lad. I could‟a used the likes o‟ „er on me crew,
back...
Ghost Captain Dregg: “Alrighty, then! Lads on me left, lasses on me right! Er… „lass‟ on me right. There be only one o‟ ye...
Hyde: “Since I‟m here, have you, like, seen a vampire hanging around anywhere? He‟ll have been wearing a tiedye shirt…”
Gh...
Vis: “Ella! Wanna play pirates with me? I‟m gonna make you walk the plank for no reason, because I‟m evil!”

Sol: “He‟s tr...
Vis: “I am the evilest pirate EVER!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!”

That kid‟s got quite the evil laugh.
Hyde: “Tell me about it.”
Ella: “…that water looks awfully cold.”
Hyde: “This is awesoooooome…”
Vis: “This is boring. I thought we were coming on vacation to have fun!”

Sol: “Actually, we came on vacation to find Gran...
Hyde: “Eurgh… why are my bed sheets wet and covered in sand? What was I doing last night?”
Ella, Sol, Vis: “Kehehehehe…”
…uh oh… I‟ve heard horror stories of witch doctors with aspiration failure…
…and he goes right back to it. I admire this man‟s dedication.
Ella: “Hey, do you want some help? My dad and I both have full mechanical points, you see…”

Witch Doctor: “YES!! Yes, I w...
Sol: “Great, he‟s leaving. Now what, dear sister of mine?”

Ella: “Now? Now you go fix the tub, Mr. No Mechanical Skill.”
...
Vis: “I‟m too young to fix stuff. I‟m going to sit on this couch and stuff my face with potato chips while everyone
else i...
Ella: “Like this?”

Witch Doctor: “NO!! No! You do it all wrong! I will show you again!”
Sol: “What does this have to do w...
Sol: “It‟s fading! I can‟t believe it! ELLA, you HAVE to show me that trick!!”

Ella: “Hmm… what‟s it worth to you?”
Hyde:...
Sol: “Sweet. Ancient ruins. Hm, I think I‟ll have the teriyaki mahi mahi today. That looked good.”

Hyde: “I‟m right there...
Ella: “Boys. Come to a historic, ancient ruin, and all they want to do is stop at the food stand.”
Ella: “Hey… I‟ve got a wicked idea…”

Oh, no. Ella, don‟t do it. Trust me. Not a good idea. Not at this one. Pick any othe...
Ella: “Ooops… sorry, Author. I dropped the whole box of soap into the fountain.”

Why you little—
Ella: “What‟s that, Auth...
Ella: “Whoa!”
*ahem* YOU HAVE MADE THE ANCIENT MONKEY GODS ANGRY!! NOW YOU MUST PAY THE PRICE!!
Ella: “I‟m sorry, ancient ...
Vis: “Ooh, cool! An evil lava fountain! I want one of these in my EVIL lair!! Dad, do you have a coin? I want to
make a wi...
Vis: “Wish for us to find Grandpa for me, Dad! I want to meet him!”

Hyde: “Keep your pants on, let me wish.”
How come the...
Ella: “Just like this, Dad! It really works!”

Hyde: “I still don‟t understand how this removes paint from your face…”
Nei...
Hyde, Ella: “We don‟t have black eyes anymore!”

Vis: “But why don‟t you teach Sol?”
Ella: “Because it‟s so much more fun ...
Sol: *wants to learn hang loose*

Ella: *not gonna tell~*
Ah, sibling love. Can you feel it?
Sol: *sulk*
Ella: “…”

Sol: “…”
Ella: “FINE, I‟ll teach you! Yeesh!”
Sol: “So like… this?”

Ella: “Yeah, but without putting your foot through the couch, dimwit.”
Sol: “Ouch…”
Yeah. Ouch. Wou...
Sol: “Finally. It‟s gone. Who knew an island greeting could peel paint off your face?”

Amazing, isn‟t it? Do you suppose ...
You know, Vis, I bought a bed for you.

Vis: *snore*
I guess we can forgive him. He just barely became a child; it‟s not l...
Vis: “BWAHAHAHAHA!! I destroyed Ella‟s sandcastle!”

Wow. That is very evil, Vis. *slow clap*
Vis: “AND I pushed all this sand that WAS the sandcastle onto… wait for it… the rug!! It will take ages to pick all
the in...
Sol: “So what are we going to do about Grandpa, Dad? He‟s not here. The glorious witch doctor who can get rid of
permanent...
Ella: “But what if he never comes back at all? I want to see Grandpa again, Dad.”

Hyde: “Well… um, I don‟t know. Maybe he...
Ella: “You cheated!”

Hyde: “Pirate.”
Ella: “You are not! Quit quoting movies!”
Hyde: “Sorry, baby girl. You did leave tha...
Ella: “Awww yeeeeaaaah!”

Ella… hey, Ella… I think your hair‟s on fire.
Ella: “Eep!”
Sol: “This is great! I need an outdoor easel with a scenic view at home!”

Ella: “I need a beach at home! Do you think the...
Vis: “That was fun!”

Sol: “We didn‟t find Grandpa.”
Ella: “But we sure had a great time trying!”
And she means “trying” i...
Hyde: “Home sweet home…”

Sol: “Is it just me, or is it really chilly here?”
It‟s just you. It‟s still early fall in River...
Vis: “There‟s my puppy! How are you, buddy! I missed you!”

Maugrim: {Master and the cubs are home! Maugrim is so happy!!}
Hello there, Face One.

Face One: *startle* “What did you just call me?”
Ella: “Ignore her, Vince. As I was saying, the im...
Ella: “Okay, then. Bye.”

Don‟t take it too hard, Ella. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and besides, you deserve bett...
Aw, how cute. He‟s dreaming about his interstellar parent, who he‟s never met.

You can tell because the ears. Dead giveaw...
Sol: “Hey, Department of Admissions? Two for Sim State, please!”

*sniff* They grow up so fast. One minute they‟re cute li...
Ella: “Later, family. I‟ve got parties to throw, dates to go on, bubbles to blow, and couches to jump on.”

That was almos...
Hyde: “Well, I guess that means it‟s just you and me, Vis.”

Vis: “Don‟t look, Dad! I‟m right in the middle of plotting fo...
Vis: “DAD!! There‟s something wrong with the fridge!”

What‟s up, Vis? Is there a light out?
Vis: “No! Worse! There aren‟t...
Hyde: “I love my job!” *smile!*

I‟m guessing your office spent their entire budget on your uniform?
Hyde: “Yeah. Why do y...
Maugrim: {This is MAUGRIM‟s territory, and MAUGRIM‟s family! Go away!}

Wolf: {Webster doesn‟t want your stinking family! ...
Hyde: “Hey, Aunt Arie! Thanks for coming!”

Arie: “Hey, Hyde. Today is a cakeday, right?”
Yes, Arie. There is a birthday h...
Ella and Sol are back from college for a few hours, Arie has been invited over, and an heir is becoming an elder!
*sniffle...
Hyde: “I‟m oooooold!!”

And you look it! Suddenly I can see your facial hair!
Hyde: “Where is my favorite shirt? I want my...
Hyde: “Found it.” *smug*

Dang. I kind of liked the old man suit. It “suited” you. Heh heh.
Hyde: “That was very unfunny, ...
Hyde: “Best. Chance card. EVER!!”

Well, don‟t leave me hanging! Tell meeeee!
Hyde: “So you know I‟ve been working with Mr...
Hyde: “She OBVIOUSLY got abducted by aliens!!”

Obviously.
Hyde: “And I got a $65,000 bonus for having such a hacking awes...
Hyde: “Hey there, kiddo!”

Vis: “Hi, Dad!”
Hyde: “Pinball tournament?”
Vis: “Pinball tournament! An EVIL one!!”
Hyde: “Did this thing always spew molten lava?”

Vis: “I was inspired by the fountain on Twikki Island!! Do you like it!? ...
Hyde: “Alright, aliens. Just one more joy ride? For the road?”

What are you doing, Hyde? You know you‟re way too old for ...
Hey Maugrim? You‟re very cute all snuggled up in your pet bed and all, but you‟re also looking a bit peckish. Mind
getting...
Vis: “Welcome home, Daddy! I loooooove you!”

The evulz. I can feel them radiating off this kid.
Hyde: “What‟s so evil abo...
Hyde: “Would you look at all of that gray in your fur! I guess you and I get to be old men together, huh buddy?”

Maugrim:...
Oh, Hyde~! I‟ve got a surprise for you~!

Vis: “Ooh, ooh! I like surprises! Can I come too? Is it an EVIL surprise!? Are t...
Hyde: “What, the portrait wall? What‟s so special about this?”

Vis: “Look at Sol and Ella! They‟re all little itty bitty ...
So this is where all the single sim portraits are hung up, right? Mostly we don‟t see these, unless there‟s a
wedding rece...
I finally figured out what to hang in your generation‟s spouse spot!

Hyde: “Is that my telescope? In front of a starry ni...
Lyra: “I‟m gonna, like, walk the dog. See you in a bit, Author.”

Cool. Just don‟t take him into the afterlife. Just becau...
Toro: “I hate this toilet stall SO MUCH.”

My, but the ghosts are active tonight, aren‟t they?
A sentry bot?

Hyde: “Sure! Now we don‟t have to depend on the Useless Cop anymore! I sent one to college with my older
ki...
So… where‟s Data going?

Hyde: “Who knows?”
Hyde: “Do you want the stick? Huh? Want the stick, boy?”

Maugrim: {YES!! Yes! Maugrim wants the stick! Maugrim wants the ...
Maugrim: {STIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!!}
Maugrim: {Maugrim found the stick, Master. Does Master want the stick? Huh? Have fun prying it out of
Maugrim‟s jaws!}
*jaw drop*

Whaaaaaaat!? Whyyyyyyy!? Why do sim pets live for so gosh dang short of a time!? And why did I miss the
pictur...
We found a nice little spot for him in the graveyard, though. That patch of taller grass there will flower when it isn‟t
w...
…Maugrim had life insurance?

Hyde: “Well, sure. He was a member of the family.” *sniff* “My poor puppy…”
Maugrim left mon...
Hyde: “Hello, everyone! Come right… in… Ella, what happened to your nose?”

Ella: “It‟s just a glitch, Dad. It‟ll fix itse...
Ella: “See? Right as rain! I‟m fine!”

Hyde: “Alright… you wouldn‟t lie to your father, now would you?”
Ella: “Of course n...
Vis: “Yaaaaay birthday!! Is this an EVIL cake!?”

Ella: “Sure is! We laced it with arsenic just for you!”
Vis: “But… but… ...
Vis: “Sweet! Would you get a load of my ears!?”

They‟re pretty awesome. Now go change. Aliens shouldn‟t wear green.
Well… the perma-grin has softened out, which has done wonders for his evil look, but he still looks like he‟s
planning on ...
Ella: “So, my and Sol‟s graduation party is tomorrow! We want you to be there, Aunt Arie!”

Arie: “Person person plus! Of ...
Dez: “…”

Aww, look at him, all happy and stuff!
Dez: “…”
Right, then. Parlor. Keika, stop getting distracted.
Hyde, what are you doing?

Hyde: “Sitting…?”
Front and center, dude. Let‟s get this over with.
Hyde: “Okay Author, now what?”

Turn to face your kids. Come on, Hyde. I know you‟re smarter than this.
Hyde: “I just don‟...
3… 2… 1…

Hyde: “Wait… whaaaaaaat!? But… but I haven‟t even thought about this! I don‟t know who should be my heir! I‟ve
g...
Sol: “This is going to be a great family meeting. Sarcasm intended.”
Arie: “I‟ll say! We haven‟t had this good of a family meeting since my brother was heir!”

Sol: “No offense, Aunt Arie, bu...
Hyde: “Okay… so… um… I, uh, haven‟t picked an heir. You‟re all awesome, and I think you would all make great heirs, so…
uh...
Sorry Vis, but you‟re disqualified.

Vis: “What? Why? I‟m a family sim! I like kids! I‟d be the perfect heir!”
Yeah, about...
This is the family graveyard. Please take this moment to count how many Family aspiration heirs we‟ve had.

Vis: “Um… thre...
So that leaves it to you two.

Ella: “Sweet. Being heir would be bodacious.”
Sol: “I agree. No hard feelings either way?”
...
So. Sol is the elder twin. He is a Fortune Sim, which is an aspiration we haven‟t had yet. He‟s probably the slightly
bett...
Congratulations, Ella. You‟re the heiress.

Ella: “Really? I thought for sure Sol was going to win!”
Sol: “Yeah! What give...
Hyde: “Sweet, that‟s all taken care of. Good meeting, everybody. Anyone up for an SSX3 tournament?”
Neffy: “Spar! What are you doing here!? Get down!”

Spar: “Hey there, Neffy. Why are you hiding?”
Neffy: “This is the hous...
Neffy: “So? Spill it. What do you think you‟re doing?”

Spar: “You first.”
Neffy: “I‟m here to take revenge on Arctos Whit...
Neffy: “You‟re not funny! Arc‟s son died in a house fire years and years ago! I am not going to let you stand in my
way of...
Spar: “Neffy. For all intents and purposes, I‟m an orphan. I was adopted by my mom and dad when I was a
toddler. I‟ve know...
Spar: “Now that I‟m here, though, I‟m thinking it doesn‟t matter so much.”

Neffy: “What do you mean, it doesn’t matter!? ...
Spar: “I‟m going back home to my family. You do what you think is right. Good luck, whatever you decide.”
You know how Merry has a magic mirror? Well, the neutral witch order (shown here in its entirety) has a magic TV.

Calcite...
The White Legacy--Generation 5, Chapter 4
The White Legacy--Generation 5, Chapter 4
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The White Legacy--Generation 5, Chapter 4

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The White family goes to Twikkii Island in search of their lost patriarch.

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The White Legacy--Generation 5, Chapter 4

  1. 1. All Hail The Evil Emperor The White Legacy: Generation Five, Chapter Four
  2. 2. So you can‟t see Vis or Maugrim in this picture… I probably should have planned this better… but this is the White Legacy! In Chapter Three, Vis became a child, and Sol and Ella played a prank on their father—they painted the eyepiece of his telescope black, effectively giving him a black eye. He retaliated. Sol discovered an article about rumors floating around Twikkii Island which sound suspiciously like Sun, so the whole family picked up to go on vacation. Maugrim had a birthday, too, so he‟s an old puppy now. Among the spares, I ranted and raved about getting both triplet and quadruplet girls, Spar had a bit of a revelation when he visited the house his girls were playing at, Dane got his dream job in show business, Kevin asked Arie out on a date, and the villains were mysterious. Onward!
  3. 3. Hey Arie… is that a new dress? And are you wearing lipstick? Arie: “Shut up, Author.” You‟re very excited for your date with Kevin, aren‟t you?” Arie: “I said shut up! I do not think he is cute, and I will be slamming the door in his face when he gets here!” Uh-huh. And that‟s why you‟re all dressed up. Arie: “Shut up!!”
  4. 4. *doorbell* Arie: *muttering* “Freakin‟… flippin‟… fetchin‟…”
  5. 5. Kevin: “Hi, Arie.” Arie: “Kevin.” Kevin: “…I-I know I say this a lot, and I probably don‟t sound like I mean it because I tend to get a bit tongue-tied, but, um… you look really beautiful today.”
  6. 6. Arie: “Alright, one date.” Told you she liked him. Now, I do believe we have a legacy family hanging out on Twikkii Island right about now. Let‟s give Arie and Kevin some privacy, huh?
  7. 7. Vis: “Hey Ella?” Ella: “What‟s up, squirt?” Vis: “How come we‟re playing on the beach instead of looking for Grandpa?”
  8. 8. Ella: “Grandpa won‟t be out and about during the day, bud.” Vis: “Why not?” Ella: “Well, let‟s just say he gets sunburned very easily.”
  9. 9. Vis: “Let‟s find some crabs and make them the king and queen of the castle!” Sol: “Vis, you fail as an evil sim.” Vis: “Uh… and serve them tea, because crabs don‟t drink tea?” Sol: “Try again.” Vis: “And then break the castle down around them! Is that evil?”
  10. 10. Awww, you‟re wearing the bigfoot pajamas I‟ve seen everywhere but my own game!! I love new stuff packs!! You are SO adorable!! SQUEEEEE!!! Vis: “…Author, you‟re weird.” *sniff*
  11. 11. Ella: *braaap* Sol: “Nice, Ella.” Hyde: “Eat up, everyone. We‟ve got a long night of vampire hunting ahead of us.” Vis: “Is this an EVIL hamburger? I don‟t want it if it‟s not evil, Dad.”
  12. 12. Vis: “I like this shirt! It‟s bright and orange and happy, just like my soul!” Sol: “Do we really have to wear these dorky outfits, Dad? We‟re going to stand out enough as it is…” Ella: “What, because we‟re aliens on a tropical island?” Sol: “No, because we all have these giant shiners in the middle of our faces!” Hyde: “You don‟t want to match your old man?” *sniff* Sol: “That only works for me, Dad. And only when I was Vis‟s age. You‟re a grown man. Stop it.”
  13. 13. Ella: “Ah, Pirate Dummy, my oldest foe. When I am finished with you, you will not even remember your own name, er, Pirate Dummy. Have at thee!” Sol: “You are such a dork, Ella.” Ella: “At least I have fun, unlike somebody, SOL.” You know, I really wish the game provided us with good teenage girl islander outfits. The coconut bra seems a little… inappropriate… for someone Ella‟s age. Oh, well, I guess it works. Vis: “RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN!!”
  14. 14. Ghost Captain Dregg: “Arr, yer sister be a fine hand with a cutlass, lad. I could‟a used the likes o‟ „er on me crew, back b‟fore I was „Ghost‟ Captain Dregg, yar.” Vis: “Yeah, that‟s cool and all, but do you know any songs? I want to learn an annoying song to sing the WHOLE plane and train rides back home, because that would be evil.” Ghost Captain Dregg: “Why do ye need a song, lad? Jus‟ look at „em with that mug o‟ yours, and they all be runnin‟ for the „ills, savvy? Come t‟ think o‟ it, I could‟a used the likes o‟ ye on me crew too, mate!”
  15. 15. Ghost Captain Dregg: “Alrighty, then! Lads on me left, lasses on me right! Er… „lass‟ on me right. There be only one o‟ ye, aye lass?” Ella: “Aye aye, Ghost Captain Dregg!” Sol: “This is so lame… what does this have to do with finding Grandpa, again?” Hyde: “Just learn the song, kiddo. You don‟t want to annoy the nice ghost captain. Haven‟t you ever seen a supernatural horror movie in your life? Don‟t mess with ghost pirates.” Ghost Captain Dregg: “Arr, those be words t‟ live by.”
  16. 16. Hyde: “Since I‟m here, have you, like, seen a vampire hanging around anywhere? He‟ll have been wearing a tiedye shirt…” Ghost Captain Dregg: “Ohoho, ye mean Sun? Aye, I seen „im, th‟ scurvy dog. He an‟ me spent th‟ moonrise singin‟ that there chantey I taught ye. I don‟ know where „e went after, but th‟ witch doctor o‟ the island might at tha‟, yar. „e‟s in charge o‟ all th‟ undead activity on th‟ island, savvy?”
  17. 17. Vis: “Ella! Wanna play pirates with me? I‟m gonna make you walk the plank for no reason, because I‟m evil!” Sol: “He‟s trying so hard, and he‟s failing.” Ella: “Sure thing, bro. But I warn you, I‟m not going off that plank without a fight!” Vis: “You‟re on! Wanna play, Sol?” Sol: “Psh, no.”
  18. 18. Vis: “I am the evilest pirate EVER!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!” That kid‟s got quite the evil laugh. Hyde: “Tell me about it.”
  19. 19. Ella: “…that water looks awfully cold.”
  20. 20. Hyde: “This is awesoooooome…”
  21. 21. Vis: “This is boring. I thought we were coming on vacation to have fun!” Sol: “Actually, we came on vacation to find Grandpa. Which, by the way, we still haven‟t done.” Ella: “Would you two quit complaining? Besides… I have an ingeniously wicked idea…” Sol: “Not again…”
  22. 22. Hyde: “Eurgh… why are my bed sheets wet and covered in sand? What was I doing last night?”
  23. 23. Ella, Sol, Vis: “Kehehehehe…”
  24. 24. …uh oh… I‟ve heard horror stories of witch doctors with aspiration failure…
  25. 25. …and he goes right back to it. I admire this man‟s dedication.
  26. 26. Ella: “Hey, do you want some help? My dad and I both have full mechanical points, you see…” Witch Doctor: “YES!! Yes, I would love some help! And then, I will help you!” Ella: “Sweet!”
  27. 27. Sol: “Great, he‟s leaving. Now what, dear sister of mine?” Ella: “Now? Now you go fix the tub, Mr. No Mechanical Skill.” Sol: “Whaaaaat?” That‟s what you get for focusing on logic and creativity, dude. A face full of water.
  28. 28. Vis: “I‟m too young to fix stuff. I‟m going to sit on this couch and stuff my face with potato chips while everyone else is working. Mehehehehe.” Let me guess. That makes you— Vis: “THAT MAKES ME EVIL!!”
  29. 29. Ella: “Like this?” Witch Doctor: “NO!! No! You do it all wrong! I will show you again!” Sol: “What does this have to do with Grandpa, again?” Witch Doctor: “NOTHING!! It is ancient paint removal trick!”
  30. 30. Sol: “It‟s fading! I can‟t believe it! ELLA, you HAVE to show me that trick!!” Ella: “Hmm… what‟s it worth to you?” Hyde: “So, Mr. Witch Doctor. Do you know anything about a vampire named Sun? He wears a—” Witch Doctor: “SUN!! He is my best friend! But he left the island two days ago. I advised him to go. Too many islanders coming down with anemia; he is upset, Hydrus, and does not control his appetite as well as he might. Not sure where he went. You look much like him.”
  31. 31. Sol: “Sweet. Ancient ruins. Hm, I think I‟ll have the teriyaki mahi mahi today. That looked good.” Hyde: “I‟m right there with you, man.” Vis: “Fooood!!”
  32. 32. Ella: “Boys. Come to a historic, ancient ruin, and all they want to do is stop at the food stand.”
  33. 33. Ella: “Hey… I‟ve got a wicked idea…” Oh, no. Ella, don‟t do it. Trust me. Not a good idea. Not at this one. Pick any other fountain. Just don‟t—
  34. 34. Ella: “Ooops… sorry, Author. I dropped the whole box of soap into the fountain.” Why you little— Ella: “What‟s that, Author? I can‟t hear you over my own INGENIOSITY.” Just don‟t say I didn‟t warn you, you hear?
  35. 35. Ella: “Whoa!” *ahem* YOU HAVE MADE THE ANCIENT MONKEY GODS ANGRY!! NOW YOU MUST PAY THE PRICE!! Ella: “I‟m sorry, ancient monkey gods!! I didn‟t know soap turned into lava when it hits water!! I’m sorry!!” *hehehe* YOU DISRESPECTFUL LITTLE SIM!! NOW YOU WILL KNOW THE TRUE MEANING OF PAAAAAIN!! Ella: “Wait… Author?” Uh… nope, that wasn‟t me. That was totally the monkey gods. Come on, Ella. Keep with the program.
  36. 36. Vis: “Ooh, cool! An evil lava fountain! I want one of these in my EVIL lair!! Dad, do you have a coin? I want to make a wish on the evil lava fountain!!” Ella: “OW!! The lava burned me!!” Wow, what a concept…
  37. 37. Vis: “Wish for us to find Grandpa for me, Dad! I want to meet him!” Hyde: “Keep your pants on, let me wish.” How come the game won‟t let children toss coins into ancient monkey god fountains filled with lava? Really! Vis: “It‟s because I‟m special. And also EVIL.”
  38. 38. Ella: “Just like this, Dad! It really works!” Hyde: “I still don‟t understand how this removes paint from your face…” Neither do I! Hyde: “But I‟ll trust you, Ella. Especially since it seems to have worked for you.” Sol: “I wanted to learn it…”
  39. 39. Hyde, Ella: “We don‟t have black eyes anymore!” Vis: “But why don‟t you teach Sol?” Ella: “Because it‟s so much more fun to watch him squirm! You understand, Vis, you‟re evil!” Vis: “Heavens no. I‟m evil, not cruel.”
  40. 40. Sol: *wants to learn hang loose* Ella: *not gonna tell~* Ah, sibling love. Can you feel it?
  41. 41. Sol: *sulk*
  42. 42. Ella: “…” Sol: “…” Ella: “FINE, I‟ll teach you! Yeesh!”
  43. 43. Sol: “So like… this?” Ella: “Yeah, but without putting your foot through the couch, dimwit.” Sol: “Ouch…” Yeah. Ouch. Would you sims quit glitching through the furniture already? I‟ve had enough.
  44. 44. Sol: “Finally. It‟s gone. Who knew an island greeting could peel paint off your face?” Amazing, isn‟t it? Do you suppose it could fix that tan, too? Sol: “My tan rocks.” Aliens are obviously not meant to go sunbathing. It‟s not the most flattering shade of green. Sol: “I like it.”
  45. 45. You know, Vis, I bought a bed for you. Vis: *snore* I guess we can forgive him. He just barely became a child; it‟s not like he‟s a teenager or anything.
  46. 46. Vis: “BWAHAHAHAHA!! I destroyed Ella‟s sandcastle!” Wow. That is very evil, Vis. *slow clap*
  47. 47. Vis: “AND I pushed all this sand that WAS the sandcastle onto… wait for it… the rug!! It will take ages to pick all the individual grains of sand out of its fibers! AND I did it at eleven o‟clock at night, when I‟m SUPPOSED to be in bed! I am so EVIL!!” Sure, kiddo. Whatever you want to believe. Vis: “I am TOO evil!!” Uh-huh.
  48. 48. Sol: “So what are we going to do about Grandpa, Dad? He‟s not here. The glorious witch doctor who can get rid of permanent paint said so.” Hyde: “Well… I‟ve been thinking about that.” Sol: “And?” Hyde: “As long as he‟s not hanging around in the daylight or anything… well, he left for a reason, and we probably shouldn‟t push him. He‟ll come back when he‟s ready.”
  49. 49. Ella: “But what if he never comes back at all? I want to see Grandpa again, Dad.” Hyde: “Well… um, I don‟t know. Maybe he will. Maybe he won‟t. He‟s a grown man. He can sort things out.” Sol: “And we can try finding him once in a while, when we get a lead, to let him know we‟re still here and we‟re waiting for him. Good idea, Dad.” Hyde: “That‟s not quite what I meant… but okay.”
  50. 50. Ella: “You cheated!” Hyde: “Pirate.” Ella: “You are not! Quit quoting movies!” Hyde: “Sorry, baby girl. You did leave that one wide open, though.”
  51. 51. Ella: “Awww yeeeeaaaah!” Ella… hey, Ella… I think your hair‟s on fire. Ella: “Eep!”
  52. 52. Sol: “This is great! I need an outdoor easel with a scenic view at home!” Ella: “I need a beach at home! Do you think they‟d let us import one into Riverblossom Hills?” Well, let me think. There‟s a river there, so if we built a new road up to the banks and dug out all the rocks and gravel and imported some sand and crabs, we‟d still have a riverbed, not a beach. Sorry, Ella. You‟re landlocked.
  53. 53. Vis: “That was fun!” Sol: “We didn‟t find Grandpa.” Ella: “But we sure had a great time trying!” And she means “trying” in the loosest sense of the term. Ella: “Hey, the witch doctor said he was gone. What‟s wrong with enjoying the vacation after losing the trail?”
  54. 54. Hyde: “Home sweet home…” Sol: “Is it just me, or is it really chilly here?” It‟s just you. It‟s still early fall in Riverblossom Hills; not that cold yet. Sol: “But it‟s eternal summer on Twikkii Island… agh, I miss it already…”
  55. 55. Vis: “There‟s my puppy! How are you, buddy! I missed you!” Maugrim: {Master and the cubs are home! Maugrim is so happy!!}
  56. 56. Hello there, Face One. Face One: *startle* “What did you just call me?” Ella: “Ignore her, Vince. As I was saying, the important thing is I‟m about to go to college, and I‟m a Pleasure Sim, and I‟ve never been on a date or had my first kiss. And I just don‟t know how to solve this problem, if you get what I mean.” Face One: “Uh, no. I don‟t know, either. Sorry.”
  57. 57. Ella: “Okay, then. Bye.” Don‟t take it too hard, Ella. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and besides, you deserve better than a face one. Ella: “Gee, thanks, Author. That‟s real encouraging.” I‟m such a helper.
  58. 58. Aw, how cute. He‟s dreaming about his interstellar parent, who he‟s never met. You can tell because the ears. Dead giveaway, those things.
  59. 59. Sol: “Hey, Department of Admissions? Two for Sim State, please!” *sniff* They grow up so fast. One minute they‟re cute little alien toddlers, and the next they‟re cute little alien college students. Generation six is growing up. *sniffle*
  60. 60. Ella: “Later, family. I‟ve got parties to throw, dates to go on, bubbles to blow, and couches to jump on.” That was almost a poem. Cool. Ella: “Yeah, I‟m awesome like that. Lyrical words of wisdom effortlessly flow forth from my brain to your ears.” Don‟t try so hard to be poetic and mysterious, it never works. Get going, your taxi‟s waiting.
  61. 61. Hyde: “Well, I guess that means it‟s just you and me, Vis.” Vis: “Don‟t look, Dad! I‟m right in the middle of plotting for my EVIL master plan!” Hyde: “Oh, really? What are you going to do?” Vis: “Take over the world! Using cookies!” Of course you are.
  62. 62. Vis: “DAD!! There‟s something wrong with the fridge!” What‟s up, Vis? Is there a light out? Vis: “No! Worse! There aren‟t any desserts!” What!? We ran out of Toro‟s baked goods!? …dang. There goes half of my joke material when it comes to mealtime.
  63. 63. Hyde: “I love my job!” *smile!* I‟m guessing your office spent their entire budget on your uniform? Hyde: “Yeah. Why do you ask?” No reason…
  64. 64. Maugrim: {This is MAUGRIM‟s territory, and MAUGRIM‟s family! Go away!} Wolf: {Webster doesn‟t want your stinking family! Webster is on spy mission for Alpha!} Maugrim: *growl* {Maugrim‟s family does not stink! Take that back! And tell Alpha to lay off! Maugrim is happy where he is!}
  65. 65. Hyde: “Hey, Aunt Arie! Thanks for coming!” Arie: “Hey, Hyde. Today is a cakeday, right?” Yes, Arie. There is a birthday happening today. You will get some cake. Arie: “I guess I‟ll stick around, then.” Hyde: “Love you too, Aunt Arie.”
  66. 66. Ella and Sol are back from college for a few hours, Arie has been invited over, and an heir is becoming an elder! *sniffle* Happy birthday, Hyde! Vis: “I‟m not going to watch my own father blow out the candles on his birthday cake. That‟s EVIL!” Yes, Vis. *pat pat*
  67. 67. Hyde: “I‟m oooooold!!” And you look it! Suddenly I can see your facial hair! Hyde: “Where is my favorite shirt? I want my favorite shirt!”
  68. 68. Hyde: “Found it.” *smug* Dang. I kind of liked the old man suit. It “suited” you. Heh heh. Hyde: “That was very unfunny, Author.”
  69. 69. Hyde: “Best. Chance card. EVER!!” Well, don‟t leave me hanging! Tell meeeee! Hyde: “So you know I‟ve been working with Mr. Wright on The Mims 4, right?” I didn‟t, but I do now. That‟s pretty hacking awesome. Go on. Hyde: “So I needed to break up a couple from a previous game, and there was clearly only one way to do that!”
  70. 70. Hyde: “She OBVIOUSLY got abducted by aliens!!” Obviously. Hyde: “And I got a $65,000 bonus for having such a hacking awesome idea!” Don‟t go stealing my phrases now. But still, congratulations, Hyde! I knew your life experience would come in handy one of these days!
  71. 71. Hyde: “Hey there, kiddo!” Vis: “Hi, Dad!” Hyde: “Pinball tournament?” Vis: “Pinball tournament! An EVIL one!!”
  72. 72. Hyde: “Did this thing always spew molten lava?” Vis: “I was inspired by the fountain on Twikki Island!! Do you like it!? I think it‟s absolutely EVIL!! …‟cept it‟s just tomato juice. I didn‟t want anybody getting hurt.” Hyde, I think you need to spend more time with your son. He‟s got far too much time on his hands, and far too specialized a skill set. Hyde: “I think you might just be right, Author.”
  73. 73. Hyde: “Alright, aliens. Just one more joy ride? For the road?” What are you doing, Hyde? You know you‟re way too old for them to be interested in you. Hyde: “Can‟t hurt to try. Those are cool cats up there.” Please tell me you did not just use the phrase “cool cats.” Hyde: “Sure did. I‟m an old man, Author. I‟m allowed to say cool stuff. Word.”
  74. 74. Hey Maugrim? You‟re very cute all snuggled up in your pet bed and all, but you‟re also looking a bit peckish. Mind getting up and nabbing something to eat for me? Maugrim: *yawn* {Sleepy Maugrim is sleepy. Old cubs need their naptime.} Oh, fine. I‟ll stop bugging you then. Maugrim: *snore*
  75. 75. Vis: “Welcome home, Daddy! I loooooove you!” The evulz. I can feel them radiating off this kid. Hyde: “What‟s so evil about hugging me when I come home from work? I thought it was kinda awesome.” Ever heard of sarcasm?
  76. 76. Hyde: “Would you look at all of that gray in your fur! I guess you and I get to be old men together, huh buddy?” Maugrim: {If Master really loves Maugrim, Master would give Maugrim a bone. Maugrim thinks that is a good idea.} Hyde: “So, would you like a bone, boy? What do you think?” Maugrim: “Woof!” Translation: YEEEEEES!!
  77. 77. Oh, Hyde~! I‟ve got a surprise for you~! Vis: “Ooh, ooh! I like surprises! Can I come too? Is it an EVIL surprise!? Are there cookies involved!?” Hyde: “I‟ll be with you in a moment, Author. First I must indulge my neat points.” I‟ll be waiting in the dining room. Vis: “Yaaaay surprises!!”
  78. 78. Hyde: “What, the portrait wall? What‟s so special about this?” Vis: “Look at Sol and Ella! They‟re all little itty bitty tiny!” They were the same size as you are now, sport. Vis: “Nuh-uh!” Anyway. This is the couples‟ portrait wall. It hangs in the dining room. These are the ones we see all the time. I show it now for clarification purposes. Now come with me out to the second floor of the wedding chapel.
  79. 79. So this is where all the single sim portraits are hung up, right? Mostly we don‟t see these, unless there‟s a wedding reception or an obituary going on. Hyde: “Right. So what did you want to show me?” Notice how there are two portraits per generation: the heir and his or her spouse. Well, friend, you never got married. Vis: “Hey, Dad! Look! I found a throne! All hail the Evil Emperor Vesuvius!!”
  80. 80. I finally figured out what to hang in your generation‟s spouse spot! Hyde: “Is that my telescope? In front of a starry night sky? With the mothership in the corner!?” That‟s right! Do you like it? It was either this or another family portrait. Hyde: “This is awesome! The family portrait would‟ve been cool, too, but this is sweet!” Vis: “All shall kneel before Evil Emperor Vesuvius! BWAHAHAHAHA!! …well, unless they have knee problems.”
  81. 81. Lyra: “I‟m gonna, like, walk the dog. See you in a bit, Author.” Cool. Just don‟t take him into the afterlife. Just because he‟s old doesn‟t mean he‟s ready to move on. Maugrim: {Maugrim wonders what the Luau is like… probably it‟s full of bones.}
  82. 82. Toro: “I hate this toilet stall SO MUCH.” My, but the ghosts are active tonight, aren‟t they?
  83. 83. A sentry bot? Hyde: “Sure! Now we don‟t have to depend on the Useless Cop anymore! I sent one to college with my older kids, too. That way they don‟t have to get up from their video games to deal with cow mascots, but it won‟t do any good for the llamas and cheerleaders.” Good idea. What‟s this one‟s name? Hyde: “Data. It‟s a reference to Simstar Trek, because robots and aliens are the best.”
  84. 84. So… where‟s Data going? Hyde: “Who knows?”
  85. 85. Hyde: “Do you want the stick? Huh? Want the stick, boy?” Maugrim: {YES!! Yes! Maugrim wants the stick! Maugrim wants the stick!!}
  86. 86. Maugrim: {STIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!!}
  87. 87. Maugrim: {Maugrim found the stick, Master. Does Master want the stick? Huh? Have fun prying it out of Maugrim‟s jaws!}
  88. 88. *jaw drop* Whaaaaaaat!? Whyyyyyyy!? Why do sim pets live for so gosh dang short of a time!? And why did I miss the picture!? *sniff* Poor Maugrim… passed away in the middle of chewing on his favorite bone-shaped squeaky toy.
  89. 89. We found a nice little spot for him in the graveyard, though. That patch of taller grass there will flower when it isn‟t winter outside.
  90. 90. …Maugrim had life insurance? Hyde: “Well, sure. He was a member of the family.” *sniff* “My poor puppy…” Maugrim left money to three other dogs, by the way, as well as Hyde and Ella. He was one rich dog.
  91. 91. Hyde: “Hello, everyone! Come right… in… Ella, what happened to your nose?” Ella: “It‟s just a glitch, Dad. It‟ll fix itself.” Pretty scary glitch…
  92. 92. Ella: “See? Right as rain! I‟m fine!” Hyde: “Alright… you wouldn‟t lie to your father, now would you?” Ella: “Of course not! It was just a brief glitch! It won‟t happen again!” Hyde: “Okay…”
  93. 93. Vis: “Yaaaaay birthday!! Is this an EVIL cake!?” Ella: “Sure is! We laced it with arsenic just for you!” Vis: “But… but… why would you do that?” Sol: “She‟s kidding, Vis. We wouldn‟t do that to your cake.” Arie: “She better be kidding.”
  94. 94. Vis: “Sweet! Would you get a load of my ears!?” They‟re pretty awesome. Now go change. Aliens shouldn‟t wear green.
  95. 95. Well… the perma-grin has softened out, which has done wonders for his evil look, but he still looks like he‟s planning on using that fork as a lethal weapon. Vis: “I am going to absolutely destroy… this slice of cake.” Care to tell everyone what aspiration you rolled, buddy? Vis: “Family, with a side order of Popularity. I love people.”
  96. 96. Ella: “So, my and Sol‟s graduation party is tomorrow! We want you to be there, Aunt Arie!” Arie: “Person person plus! Of course I‟ll be there, kiddo! Will there be cake?” Apparently Hyde isn‟t going to initiate this himself, so Ella, please round up your various relations and join me in the parlor. Ella: “What for?” You‟ll see.
  97. 97. Dez: “…” Aww, look at him, all happy and stuff! Dez: “…” Right, then. Parlor. Keika, stop getting distracted.
  98. 98. Hyde, what are you doing? Hyde: “Sitting…?” Front and center, dude. Let‟s get this over with.
  99. 99. Hyde: “Okay Author, now what?” Turn to face your kids. Come on, Hyde. I know you‟re smarter than this. Hyde: “I just don‟t understand what‟s going on…” You‟re picking an heir. Hyde: “Oh, is that all.”
  100. 100. 3… 2… 1… Hyde: “Wait… whaaaaaaat!? But… but I haven‟t even thought about this! I don‟t know who should be my heir! I‟ve got three kids! I can‟t just pick one of them! What do I do!?”
  101. 101. Sol: “This is going to be a great family meeting. Sarcasm intended.”
  102. 102. Arie: “I‟ll say! We haven‟t had this good of a family meeting since my brother was heir!” Sol: “No offense, Aunt Arie, but why are you here, again?” Arie: “Second generation prerogative. I get to do what I want, no questions asked. And I want to be here, and no one‟s asking questions. Get it, Sol?” Sol: “I suppose…”
  103. 103. Hyde: “Okay… so… um… I, uh, haven‟t picked an heir. You‟re all awesome, and I think you would all make great heirs, so… uh, how about you pick?” Uh, no. You‟re not going to leave it in the hands of your children. Hyde: “Why not?” Because I‟m going to pick. I have a few opinions on this matter. Arie: “Uh oh…”
  104. 104. Sorry Vis, but you‟re disqualified. Vis: “What? Why? I‟m a family sim! I like kids! I‟d be the perfect heir!” Yeah, about that.
  105. 105. This is the family graveyard. Please take this moment to count how many Family aspiration heirs we‟ve had. Vis: “Um… three out of five?” Precisely. Also, I‟m sorry, fun as they are, I don‟t want to get stuck with your eyebrows for the next four generations, and you are homozygous for brown hair. Your father and grandmother were brunettes, too, and I‟m getting tired of it. Vis: “I won’t stand for this! This is discrimination! That’s so EVIL! …Awesome!”
  106. 106. So that leaves it to you two. Ella: “Sweet. Being heir would be bodacious.” Sol: “I agree. No hard feelings either way?” Ella: “Of course! I‟m not going to be like Aunt Merry if I lose.”
  107. 107. So. Sol is the elder twin. He is a Fortune Sim, which is an aspiration we haven‟t had yet. He‟s probably the slightly better-looking of the two. (*swoon*) He, also, has brown hair. He has recessive genes for brown eyes. Ella is the younger twin. She is a Pleasure Sim, which we have seen twice already (Toro and Hyde). She‟s the slightly better mix of Hyde and Birth Queen #6, having Sun‟s nose and all. She does not have that brown hair we‟ve been seeing for the last three generations, and does have, uniquely out of all her siblings, a recessive gene for green eyes. Both twins are gorgeous, and both have the great big eyes I hope to see pass on to future generations. They don‟t have elf ears, like Vis does, but what can you do. Okay, I‟ve made my decision.
  108. 108. Congratulations, Ella. You‟re the heiress. Ella: “Really? I thought for sure Sol was going to win!” Sol: “Yeah! What gives?” You‟ve got those recessive genes. Besides, the only female heiress so far has been Jade, if you don‟t count Snow as the foundress. Variety is a good thing. Just so long as you have a Popularity, Fortune, or Grilled Cheese heir inherit from you. Ella: “Deal!”
  109. 109. Hyde: “Sweet, that‟s all taken care of. Good meeting, everybody. Anyone up for an SSX3 tournament?”
  110. 110. Neffy: “Spar! What are you doing here!? Get down!” Spar: “Hey there, Neffy. Why are you hiding?” Neffy: “This is the house of a powerful witch and an evil mastermind! The question is, why aren‟t you hiding!? Get over here!”
  111. 111. Neffy: “So? Spill it. What do you think you‟re doing?” Spar: “You first.” Neffy: “I‟m here to take revenge on Arctos White for killing my father.” Spar: “Oh, yeah? I‟m here because I think he might be my father.”
  112. 112. Neffy: “You‟re not funny! Arc‟s son died in a house fire years and years ago! I am not going to let you stand in my way of killing him! He‟s got it coming!” Spar: “You‟re just going to walk in there and challenge him? After what happened to Lyra and the others? You‟re kidding, right?” Neffy: “They were stupid about it. I won‟t be! I‟m prepared! Besides, I have to avenge my father! It‟s different for you! Your dad‟s still alive! And I‟ll bet everything that he‟s at a juice bar downtown or something, and not Arc!”
  113. 113. Spar: “Neffy. For all intents and purposes, I‟m an orphan. I was adopted by my mom and dad when I was a toddler. I‟ve known since I was a kid that my mother was dead, but that my father abandoned me in the burned ruins of my home. I‟ve had to grow up knowing that. At least you know your father didn‟t want to leave you. I came here looking for some measure of peace; I‟ve been looking for my birth father since I was a teenager. I don‟t want him to turn out to be Arc after all this time, but I hoped I would at least know who I was, where I‟d come from.”
  114. 114. Spar: “Now that I‟m here, though, I‟m thinking it doesn‟t matter so much.” Neffy: “What do you mean, it doesn’t matter!? The man was your father! He loved you! He cared for you! And now you just want to let him stay dead!?” Spar: “I‟ve got a new family now. They make up a lot of who I am now. My brother and sisters, my nieces and nephews, and most importantly, my wife Kaylynn and our four little girls. Quadruplets, can you believe it? I‟m thinking… I‟m thinking that my present is a lot more important than my past.”
  115. 115. Spar: “I‟m going back home to my family. You do what you think is right. Good luck, whatever you decide.”
  116. 116. You know how Merry has a magic mirror? Well, the neutral witch order (shown here in its entirety) has a magic TV. Calcite: “Woo yeah! Go Spar! That was awesome!!” Gemini: “I am so not related…” And that‟s all for this chapter! Sorry, it got a bit long there. Come join us next time for Ella and Sol‟s stay in college! TTFN, ta-ta for now!
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