Slide not improvedKaya Sumbland - D Record of Grade for draft 1What Went Well: (Individual)• Clear presentation and organisation•• Excellent structure Good understanding BEven Better If:• More detail• Use more images• Take real pictures of charactersTargets to Improve:• To explain my points in a PEE structure and use a verity of images.Sanel Homer - UWhat Went Well:• Good organisation• Nice diagrams• Good understanding of chosen themeEven Better If:• Relate my pictures to the words• Less text• More detailTargets to Improve:• Make sure my diagrams are not to basic and shorted lengthy paragraphs into bullet points.
Record of Grade for draft 1 B (Individual)Gia Alveranga - UWhat Went Well:Even Better If:• Used more brief points• Showed more picturesTargets to Improve:• to show Slides have good organisationRahel Fasil - EWhat Went Well:• Short brief pointsEven Better If:• Use titles for slides• More detail• Make sure I present my knowledge more clearlyTargets to Improve:• Use more images and less text Slide not improved
Kaya & Sanel Slide not improved Record of Grade for draft 1 Presentation Level – D- Group B What went well? • Showing progress and achievement • Slides have good organisation • Good effort and creativity • Good start to conventions Even better if? • Colour code should be background • Title all the slides • More contribution from Sanel, Rahel and Gia • Don’t read from the screen Targets to improve… • To make sure all group members contribute • Write our presentation with more detail and understanding • To word our idea’s better
Slide not improvedKaya & Sanel Decisions and Revisions C Since our first draft, we’ve changed our idea a lot. DRAFT 1 : • Thriller genre • Based on a girl who had schizophrenia and thought she was possessed • Too complicated and sent out the wrong message about the mental illness. DRAFT 2 : • Completely same idea • Mental illness taken out – wrong message • Replaced with actually being possessed
Slide not improvedKaya & Sanel Decisions and Revisions C CHANGE IN IDEA : • We decided to change idea completely • Drama genre • We did research again on conventions • We want to connect with the audience • New idea was a girl’s life on drugs and her hallucinations Draft one of ALTERED IDEA : opening sequence • Idea suits more to a thriller • Change drugs to mental illness • Hallucination - > Bizarre delusions • Change to psychological thriller • Alter flashbacks to match new concept • Girl with schizophrenia who is being emotionally connected to toys from her real parents
Decisions and RevisionsDraft one ofopening sequence After receiving feedback from the first draft of our opening sequence, as a group we decided to change the genre and idea for our second draft. This was because the hallucination characters and dolls were too confusing. Also, our target audience didn’t understand that the main character was schizophrenic. Our opening sequence genre is now a Thriller and our idea is about a girl who’s new home is haunted.
Slide not improvedKaya Decisions and Revisions C HOW THE CHANGES HAVE HELPED: • Explored various genre’s creating a varied understanding of the differences • Wider understanding of different themes and topics • Exercise our creativity and to stimulate greater idea’s each time Our changes in pictures!!
Genre D Sanel THRILLER• We want to do this genre because it will keep our audience engaged and interested in the film.• It has many diverse ways of creating enigma.• We feel as a group we can challenge and meet the conventions.• Also we like thought of being scared.• A large majority of our target audience find thriller’s more exciting than other genre’s.
Why we stayed with Thriller from draft 1Sanel D•This genre has stayed the same from Draft one as wethought Thriller would be the best option for our group aswe know a lot about thriller movies and did a lot ofresearch about thriller and how to scare people.•Also we thought that the audience would be interested ina thriller as it allows them to have the feeling of beingscared and keeps them on the edge of their feet.