Bio Misconceptions


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Bio Misconceptions

  1. 1. (Warning - some salty ****'s are used ) - You use ALL of your brain. Well, most people do. -Your heart doesn't stop when you sneeze. -Daddy Long Legs are not the most venomous spiders. They are neither venomous, nor spiders. -You do not swallow X number of spiders per year in your sleep. -There are no true human hermaphrodites. -X/Y chromosome abnormalities have nothing to do with homosexuality. -Animals that don't eat each other don't tend to fight each other. So, no, I don't know which would win. -Disney lies. Nature is an ugly m***********r. -Humans ARE animals. -Humans did not evolve from monkeys. However, if you go back far enough in your family tree, you'll find something that looks a lot like a monkey, but isn't. But its decendents will be. Except the ones that aren't. Like us. -While we're on the topic, apes aren't monkeys. -Herbivores are not peaceful. Carnivores are not evil. You aren't scared of cats and dogs. They're carnivores. On the other hand, Steve Irwin, Crocodile Hunter, the man who wrangled giant crocodiles, and handled the world's most deadly snakes and spiders, was scared ****less by "peaceful, herbivorous hippos." -Evolution is not pre-determined. If humans are still around in 100,000 years, we cannot know what we will look like (ie - lose our little toe, go bald, wear silver jumpsuits, etc). - Shaving hair does not make it grow back thicker. - Cold doesn't cause illness. -Swallowing gum won't hurt you. Unless you choke, but that could happen with any food. - Sugar does not make you hyper. -You can swim before the thirty minutes are up. -Generally speaking, your Mom is full of ****. So, yeah, go outside and play, because the odds are a lunatic did not just escape from the asylum. She was just ****ing with you. -Cute is an illuion. Dolphins can be sadistic bastards. And a Panda can tear your head off. Don't even get me started on chimps.
  2. 2. -Lemmings do not leap from cliffs (see Disney, above). - You cannot stop a species from becomming extinct - only delay it. And that includes us. -There is no "Nature" (note the proper noun). Therefore, "Nature" doesn't want. It does not balance. It does not provide. It does not protect. It does not cause. -Speaking of, humans are natural. Humans have never succeeding in breaking natural laws, therefore what we do, what we make, is natural. -Speaking of THAT, humans are not the only species that makes war, enslaves, deceives uses tools, exploits its environment, has sex for fun, uses tools, farms or shows generosity. We are, however, the only species that dresses up other animals in costumes. -Venomous snakes cannot breed with nonvenomous snakes. -Speaking of, two different species cannot normally breed together, even if you add wine and Barry White. The few who can are very closely related. -Yes, your parents had sex. Have fun getting that image out of your head. -Its not the moon. You're just nuts. -Plants are alive. So are fungi. But fungi are not plant, nor plants fungi. -Not every thing that makes you feel icky is an insect. Or even a bug. -Remember Pluto? Well, I have some bad news about reptiles. Are you sitting down? -Plants and animals are not here for "a purpose." They do not exist for your use. They are here to live their lives. Its people that get in the way and find ways to make them useful. -Purebred is a nice way of saying inbred. -Speaking of, having a baby with your sibling is not likely to create a one eyed flipper baby. But it's still creepy, so don't. -You can't save the planet, and you don't need to.