I Suck! And So Do You!

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Full transcript of this talk here: http://karenmcgrane.com/2014/01/10/i-suck-and-so-do-you/

“Good enough” sounds like a cop-out. There’s always a way to be better, another brass ring to grab for, another level to beat. Our desire to improve has a darker flip side: self-doubt and self-criticism. We’re never good enough. We find an outlet for our negativity in our work. The internet has always been a sprawling, chaotic mess, our processes and tools feel broken, and we’re surrounded by people making foolish and incompetent decisions. What a relief to finally take the pressure off ourselves and point the finger at someone else’s mistakes! What a relief to put our energies into fixing something! Funny thing about change, though. It works a lot better if it comes from a place of kindness than from judgement. Having compassion for our clients, colleagues, and co-workers has to come from within—it starts by having compassion for ourselves.

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I Suck! And So Do You!

  1. I SUCK! and so do you!
  2. I’m lying.
  3. I don’t believe a word I’m saying.
  4. Especially about the Klout score.
  5. where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average
  6. THE ONLY THING I’M BETTER AT THAN YOU is telling myself I suck.
  7. YOU’RE WRONG. YOU LIKE ME, RIGHT?
  8. I’M SMARTER THAN YOU. PLEASE VALIDATE ME.
  9. NO WIN SITUATION
  10. The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel. —Steve Furtick
  11. AWESOME BOOK CAREER SUCCESS WORLD TRAVEL PROJECT FAILURE TEAM LOSSES RELATIONSHIP WTF
  12. BREAKDOWN
  13. ACTUAL HUMAN BEING Messy, Flawed Gross,Right?
  14. My kid is sick. I’m depressed. Someone died. I have cancer. I’m getting divorced. I lost my job.
  15. EVERYONE HAS SOMETHING.
  16. IT’S ONLY HUMAN.
  17. Don’t be so hard on yourself!
  18. expectations anxiety the fuck-it pointstanding ovation TED talk child conceived during talk named after me no one laughs no one cries no one confuses me with Barry White
  19. YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO THINK YOU’RE GOOD ENOUGH.
  20. YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO BE KIND TO YOURSELF.
  21. DEFENSIVE PROJECTING
  22. YOU CAN’T FEEL COMPASSION IF YOU’RE DEFENSIVE.
  23. EVERYTHING WE DO IS CHANGE MANAGEMENT.
  24. — Douglas Coupland Twenty-first-century life is karaoke — a never-ending attempt to maintain dignity while a jumble of data uncontrollably blips across a screen.
  25. CHANGE MANAGEMENT = COMPASSION
  26. Technical External InternalTechnical External Internal
  27. EXTERNAL VALIDATION
  28. INTERNAL VALIDATION
  29. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world.
  30. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
  31. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. — Marianne Willamson
  32. YOU’RE AWESOME! and so am I!

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