Spiritual Intimacy

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Discusses partners' differing faith styles and how to reconcile them to have a healthy shared faith path

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  • John R. Williams, MFT, MRE JohnWilliamsCounselor.com Spiritual Intimacy
  • Spiritual Intimacy John R. Williams, MFT, MRE JohnWilliamsCounselor.com Friendship: Emotional Passion: Physical Commitment: Volitional Purpose: Spiritual
  • Shared faith can be like sharing parents John R. Williams, MFT, MRE JohnWilliamsCounselor.com Spiritual Intimacy
  • Spiritual Intimacy John R. Williams, MFT, MRE JohnWilliamsCounselor.com
  • John R. Williams, MFT, MRE JohnWilliamsCounselor.com Spiritual Intimacy
  • 1. Caregiver Healing, helping, guiding 2. Activist Conscience, confronting wrongs 3. Ascetic Solitude, self denial and simplicity 4. Contemplative Reflection though writing, song and art 5. Enthusiast Active worship with others 6. Intellectual Knowledge, study 7. Naturalist Natural world 8. Sensor Beauty, creativity, arts 9. Traditionalist Rituals, beliefs, symbols John R. Williams, MFT, MRE JohnWilliamsCounselor.com Spiritual Intimacy
  • Study and compose spiritual literature and sermons Pray privately; pray with others Mentor others and nurture their growth Be mentored by an elder; submit to guidance Celebrate life’s joys and blessings John R. Williams, MFT, MRE JohnWilliamsCounselor.com Spiritual Intimacy
  • 6. Tithe; live simply 7. Sing, make and enjoy spiritual music 8. Care for, study and enjoy the natural world; live ecologically 9. Engage in worship and spiritual education with others 10. Observe traditions, rituals, and sacred spaces John R. Williams, MFT, MRE JohnWilliamsCounselor.com Spiritual Intimacy
  • 11. Participate in small groups to grow and support each other 12. Fast, practice purity and other self disciplines 13. Serve God, community, country or other greater causes 14. Assist those in spirit world 15. Spend time in solitude and meditation John R. Williams, MFT, MRE JohnWilliamsCounselor.com Spiritual Intimacy
  • Fight injustice; help victims Admire and make art and other creative expressions Share intimacy with loved ones; make love with spouse Care for family; help neighbors John R. Williams, MFT, MRE JohnWilliamsCounselor.com Spiritual Intimacy
  • John R. Williams, MFT, MRE JohnWilliamsCounselor.com Spiritual Intimacy
  • Spiritual Intimacy John R. Williams, MFT, MRE JohnWilliamsCounselor.com
  • Spiritual Intimacy John R. Williams, MFT, MRE JohnWilliamsCounselor.com
  • John R. Williams, MFT, MRE JohnWilliamsCounselor.com Spiritual Intimacy
  • John R. Williams, MFT, MRE JohnWilliamsCounselor.com Spiritual Intimacy
  • Spiritual Intimacy

    1. 1. Spiritual IntimacyHarmonizing Different Faith Styles
    2. 2. Spirituality Is Part of the Vertical Aspectof Strong Blessed MarriageHorizontal: Vertical:Friends & Lovers Partners in Purpose• Friendship • Commitment• Passion • Purpose Purpose Marital Friendship Passion Love Adapted from Robert Commitment Sternberg’s Triangle Theory of Love
    3. 3. Love for a Higher Purpose DeepensClosenessLoving the Sharing faith can besame purpose God like sharing parents•Fortifies respect & Idealsand sense of security Spouse Spouse Spouse Spouse
    4. 4. How Do Spiritual & Religious Practices Strengthen Our Marriage and Family?
    5. 5. Religious Practices StrengthenMarriage and Family Life I 1. Promotes moral behavior and forgiveness 2. Provides a family- oriented social network 3. Increases resilience to stress 4. Helps children to perform better at school 5. Boosts personal happiness, health and longer life
    6. 6. Religious Practices StrengthenMarriage and Family Life IIGreatest benefits come fromdiscussing and practicingspiritual beliefs at home More helpful than shared beliefs: • Shared sense of higher meaning to your marriage • What spouses do together to act upon their faith
    7. 7. Different Styles of Faith
    8. 8. Spiritual Closeness Is a CommonChallenge in Marriage 1. Many couples struggle to find a shared way • To relate to God and spiritually grow together 2. Conflict of styles is common • One favored path to God may be the opposite of your spouse’s • Easy to judge the mate’s way as inferior
    9. 9. How Is Praying Together Beneficial? How Might It Be Challenging?
    10. 10. Praying Together Is Beneficial &Challenging Benefits Challenges• Invites God to intervene in • Can be hard to be so our marriage vulnerable, especially• Strengthens our sense of when there are tensions shared purpose and ideals • Differences of prayer• Helps us gain God’s view styles of our marriage • Hard to make time• Softens our heart and exposes it to our mate Hoon Dok Hae is similar
    11. 11. There Are Many Different SpiritualTypes Adapted from Myra Perrine, God Languages
    12. 12. 19 Paths to Spiritual Growth &Closeness I
    13. 13. 19 Paths to Spiritual Growth &Closeness II
    14. 14. 19 Paths to Spiritual Growth &Closeness III
    15. 15. 19 Paths to Spiritual Growth &Closeness IV
    16. 16. Making Spiritual Harmony 1. Find one or more spiritual paths that can be shared as a couple • One of the partner’s ways or a third way 2. Focus on common values and ideals • God • Truth, Beauty, Goodness, Justice or True Love 3. Shared service is powerful
    17. 17. When Your Spouse Struggleswith Their Faith
    18. 18. Faith Differences or Personal FaithStruggles Come Up at TimesLife events can highlight faith•Death and crisis•Church changes•Children1. Faith becomes especiallyimportant2. Or it can be challenged•Bring out personal weaknesses andmarital differences
    19. 19. What to Do If Your Spouse Struggles in their Faith?• This can be threatening
    20. 20. Consider How Your Spouse Might FeelImagine you are the more religious one in your couple.•Now imagine your spouse has suddenly become twice asreligious as you are. You are now the “unspiritual” one,holding them and children back from knowing and servingGod more, the “selfish” one who is never good enough.How do you feel?
    21. 21. When One Spouse Struggles in FaithFaith fluctuates over time “Whether you1. Faith needs to be reexamined at times are destined so it can mature for heaven or• Need freedom to doubt and struggle hell is not determined2. Try to honor your mate’s legitimate by your effort to keep their integrity doctrines and• God will work through a genuine perspectives… search for truth but by your• Modeling God’s acceptance and faith daily life.” in them is a testimony to your faith Father
    22. 22. Family Traditions
    23. 23. How Will You Raise Your Children? • Tithe? Even if it means no karate lessons? • Display a big picture of True Parents? • Have HoonDokHae regularly? When? • Attend church weekly or at• Pray together before least regularly? each meal? Other times? • Send the children to every• Do Pledge? When? church youth event you can?• Read Bible stories to the • Put your kids in a good private children? Catholic school?
    24. 24. Important Blessed Family Traditions I1. Sanctifying the First Night•Like 3-day Ceremony2. Sanctifying births of children•Prayer support at birth with3 people and birth candle•Grateful offering at 8 days3. Family Worship and study•Learning God’s Word (HDH)•Family Pledge•Sunday Service•Tithing
    25. 25. Important Blessed Family Traditions II 4. Living with God & True Parents • Prominent photos • Prayer place 5. Sanctifying birthdays • Parents’ Blessing 6. Celebrating Holy Days • Pledge and offerings 7. Preparing children for Matching • Teaching purity
    26. 26. Traditions Prioritizing Family Life• Meals together• Couple date nights• Holiday celebrations• Playing games, sharing chores and other family activities• Vacation activities
    27. 27. Deepen Spiritual Onenessas you grow 1. Commit to growing in personal spiritual maturity • Keep adjusting to each other 2. Commit to nourish the spiritual basis of your marriage • Maintain regular traditions 3. Commit to greater service to God and the world
    28. 28. Tool: Sharing Spiritual Paths1. Consider these • Study • Be in small groups spiritual paths • Pray • Fast2. Mark your • Mentor others • Serve greater favorites • Be mentored causes3. Guess your • Celebrate mate’s • Assist spirit world • Tithe • Meditation favorites • Make music • Fight injustice4. Mark which ones you • Care for nature • Be creative might share • Worship • Share intimacy • Observe traditions • Care for others

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