Internet Pornography Plague

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This presentation gives an overview of the unique problem of internet pornography and gives suggestions how to overcome the habit.

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  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Men’s genitals are proportionately largest of any mammal on earth and we are the only creatures who mate face to face Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com “ Crack Cocaine through Your Computer” Porn makes far more money than all movies, music, and sports combined
  • The Internet Pornography Plague John R. Williams, MMFT [email_address] Most 1 st Gens cannot imagine how deeply porn-saturated the culture is, and what it would be like to grow up in such a situation
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Cinderella.com, coke.com 70% if sites sponsored by organized crime; makes more money than all other forms of entertainment—movies, sports, etc.—combined 90% of kids have seen porn Frequent porn use is linked to serious depression for youth 10 to 17 years old
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com This means watching with boyfriend, or looking to learn what the boyfriend must be expecting from her, so she can keep him “ Pornification” of our culture, where both sexes seek to imitate the sick world of porn The intense self disclosure creates artificial intimacy, which looks much better than the real marriage Also female porn tends to be very romantic and includes equal pleasuring; and the women masturbate too 3. This means more likely to commit adultery Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Self medicating do deal with depression, stress, trauma
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Emotional needs are easily sexualized; men especially emotionally connect through sex Sexual release feels like love, like comfort, like connection with someone The sexual impulse can be understood as a desire for love and connection with others
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com This function of the eye in sex for men is the basis of many fetishes Full bonding is hard because sexual conditioning has left him aroused by fantasies, lots of different women etc and not linking the pleasure of sex to one person Women like to see ordinary looking woman wined and dined, talking deeply and engaging in mutually pleasurable sex
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com One man’s comment online: “ I agree with you about pornography. It's deadening, mechanical, repetitive. It's like the assembly line has invaded your bedroom. Here's what's worse. Like lots of pop-culture fashion, it leaks out into real life. We compare ourselves to it and think we have to imitate it.” “ Corrupts the heart”… Progressive, self inflicted trauma Luciferic & Fallen Eveic standards of manhood and womanhood Trains in using sex to handle all emotional distress rather than real coping skills
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Videogaming addiction involves about 3 or 4 hours a day or more Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Highly value something= Highly memorable 3. Exploring: The “thrill of the hunt” 4. Easy for porn to exceed the naïve expectations of youth Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com YourBrainonPorn.com gives explanation why you exceed normal satiation point “ heightened response”—the computer becomes arousing in itself
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Besides the obvious sign of frequent use Users don’t see problem until they try to quit, or get married and it does not stop
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Compulsions become as strong as the needs they are replacing Males use porn as substitute for love
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Shopping mentality involves consuming many partners, committing to none, comparing and discarding Men develop tastes and preferences of body type
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Comparison factor- 2007 study: Just looking at a series of images of sexy females causes a man to devalue his real-life partner, as less attractiveness, not as warm and even less intelligent 2006 study: After viewing porn, men reported less satisfaction with their intimate partner—including the partner's affection, appearance, sexual curiosity, and performance Spouses say they feel insecure and unattractive One man’s comment online: "There's a difference between today's online porn and that of just a couple decades ago. Now, you can go to a variety of websites and find more free porn than you could watch if you quit your job and dedicated your life to it—all in living color. You can even pick your favorite fetish, whatever you find the most intense, and just watch video after video of it . If the intensity wanes for a few seconds, or you get bored with watching the same bodies for two minutes straight, you can jump to a new set of bodies doing new things. It has the potential to be far more destructive to your appreciation for the real thing than ever before."
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Men bond by sight Attracts lustful spirits
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com John Gray: Masturbation maintains immaturity Mark Gungor DVD is good
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Exception is imagining spouse when separated
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Selfish solo sex makes it hard to “dance” with partner—less practice, less reason to bother
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Don’t aim to stop forever—just long enough to weaken the habit Hopefully by then, quitting forever will seem feasible Any abstinence is good, but 30 to 42 days seems to be needed to “break its back” Comment after abstaining: “ Since stopping porn the depersonalization has dwindled. I crack witty jokes and speak fluently without thinking about what I'm saying or worrying about how others will react. My relationship with my girlfriend has also become more personal as some of the walls I put up are now crumbling. ”
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com 5. Accountability allies 6. Need enough people so you can reach someone when needed (others may be unavailable); this is from 12 Step groups
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Urges say, “It’s useless to resist—I will harass you until you give in. Then you can have peace.”
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Vividly imagine the worst possibilities
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com See yourself as fighting off an evil enemy for the world, not just “me and my dirty habit”
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com User needs to reassure the spouse and take action, like infidelity Don’t minimize or say its no big deal Expect relapses Recognize perverse lust signals an emotional issue, not that your spouse will act out on these appetites necessarily
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com As you abstain, you’ll get in touch with your real needs: Touch, sharing thoughts, companionship, real fun, expressing yourself, forgiveness, greater meaning, making a difference in the world, etc.
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Users are often exhausted and using porn to get energy
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Porn PlagueInternet Porn Plague John R Williams, MMFT John.Coach1@gmail.comJohn Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com Internet Porn Plague John Williams CouplesLearningCenter.com
  • Internet Pornography Plague

    1. 1. The Internet Pornography Plague Protecting Our Youth, Our Friends, Ourselves John R. Williams
    2. 2. Purity Is Power “When you enter your married life after keeping your purity, you will be able to love wholeheartedly.” Father Moon John R. Williams
    3. 3. The Pornography Problem John R. Williams
    4. 4. What Would Be the Most PerfectKind of Recreational Drug to Sell? John R. Williams
    5. 5. Internet Pornography– Perfect “Drug”1. Accessible 6. Appears harmless2. Affordable 7. Adult-looking3. Approved 8. All-new4. Anonymous 9. Anything-goes5. Abstinent-looking 10. AddictiveAlmost half of all internet users look at porn John R. Williams
    6. 6. What Is Internet Pornography?Photos, videos, and online interactive mediadesigned to get people sexually arousedIncludes cybersex • Simulated encounters through chatrooms, webcam, avatars and other means John R. Williams
    7. 7. Internet Pornography–Destroying Innocence7 years old: Age of Half of male and 1 in 6first exposure female college students Children 12-17 spend up to 5 hoursyears: Largest group online weekly for sexof users  21% of males do daily Ads and searches  “I don’t know any BClead to porn sites boy who doesn’t struggle Pop-ups cannot with porn use”be clicked off John R. Williams
    8. 8. Porn, Girls & Women28% of all 1. Often start by wanting toporn users please menare female 2. Drawn to chatrooms 40% of  Intimate talk leads toadmitted sex talk and pornaddicts 3. Women are more likely tounder age act out their fantasies35  See in person those met online John R. Williams
    9. 9. Why Is Internet Porn Enticing? John R. Williams
    10. 10. Appeal of Internet Porn to Youth1. Curiosity and wanting to understand about sex, the opposite sex, and the adult world2. Pleasure and excitement of sex3. Sexy bodies, fantasy encounters4. Variety and quick gratification5. Escape from unwanted feelings, especially loneliness6. Feel wanted and powerful John R. Williams
    11. 11. Anatomy of the Sex Impulse Heart  Seeks love and oneness of heart with Heart another Physical Physical instinct instinct  Seeks to substantiate love in bodily onenessTwo aspects may get and lineageconfused John R. Williams
    12. 12. Internet Porn ExploitsMale & Female FantasiesThe brain is the most important sexual organMen Women Arousal by sight of beauty  Aroused byand body parts romantic Sex-focused partners, interactionno affection or foreplay  Caring, Performance oriented cooperative Man in control partners John R. Williams
    13. 13. Risks of Porn UseJohn R. Williams
    14. 14. Damages Ourselves Corrupts the heart  Erodes self- and mind with respect and crude, unforgettable spiritual images connections Teaches degrading  Blocks emotional standards of man- growth and and womanhood maturity Promotes insecurities  Desensitizes  Enslaves John R. Williams
    15. 15. Internet Porn Combines Power of Video Gaming & Junk FoodPorn is even stronger than both because itinvolves the deep need for love and sex Videogaming Junk FoodHigh speed and Intensified version of aexciting pleasurable needInteractive control Always interestingEntrancing Overrides naturalAlways new and appetiteimproved John R. Williams
    16. 16. Internet Porn Has All Factors that Make Activities Hard to StopThese cause the brain to highly value something1. Strong emotions 3. Thrill of the huntSurprise, excitement,  Searching andanxiety, disgust finding what we want2. Novelty 4. ExceedingNewness, variety, expectationspromise of more  Unexpected bonuses or dangers John R. Williams
    17. 17. Compulsive Porn Use Changes the BrainPorn can reprogram the brain like too mucheating, gambling and video gaming Numbed response to normal pleasures Heightened response to things related to the habit Shutdown of normal signals when “enough” Shrunken brain matter controlling reason and self control John R. Williams
    18. 18. Signs of a Serious Porn Habit Emotional numbness For males, Depression, irritability or depleted sadness testosterone accounts for Difficulty concentrating many Social discomfort, isolation symptoms Chronic fatigue, little motivation Inability to cope without it Male failure to be aroused by a real woman
    19. 19. Stages of Porn Compulsion I1. Fascination, disgust Mixture of guilt, fear, aggression and pleasurable arousal2. Desire for more daring and exotic images Former thrill wears off; desensitized John R. Williams
    20. 20. Stages of Porn Compulsion II1. Fascination, disgust 3. Habitual use Mixture of guilt, fear,  Endless new images aggression and  Hard to stop pleasurable arousal  Dependent on mood-2. Desire for more altering effects daring and exotic (4. Acting out) images 5. Despair Former thrill wears  Use more porn to off; desensitized escape John R. Williams
    21. 21. Damages Our Relationship with theOpposite SexHarder to connect as siblings and friends1. Reduces spiritual beings to being accessories for our needs and fantasies2. Promotes “shopping” mentality, based on looks3. Creates impossible expectations Physical attractiveness Sexual and romantic behavior John R. Williams
    22. 22. Damages Our Marriage Habit is likely to  Dissatisfaction from persist comparing spouse to Teaches warped fantasy partners ideas about sex,  Weakens desire for desire and our spouse over time performance  May create No sense of the dysfunction unselfish effort  Deeply offends our needed for satisfying spouse, like an affair marriage John R. Williams
    23. 23. Effects of Masturbation John R. Williams
    24. 24. Masturbation Multiplies theHarm of Pornography Masturbation amplifies Two Types of its addictive power Masturbation The brain bonds with 1. No sexual what is related to fantasies sexual release  Less harmful Connects porn to the 2. With images highest pleasure, and fantasies pain relief and comfort  More harmful John R. Williams
    25. 25. Masturbation without Images or Fantasies Self-soothing  Self-centered use of physical release holy organs Grounded in body,  Compromise sense no disconnection of proper position No misuse of and self-respect imagination John R. Williams
    26. 26. Masturbation with Images and Fantasies Burns images into  Trains a multi- brain and links them focused sexual to highest pleasure arousal Mental adultery  Trains in sex connects sex with ungrounded in multiple partners our body and Invites compulsive relationship porn use John R. Williams
    27. 27. The Goal Is to Teach Our Brain toDesire Only Our Spouse  Purity sets up one arousal Spouse pathway in the brain for maximum fulfilment Porn  Porn and masturbation (Partners) divide pathway Spouse and weaken bond with spouse John R. Williams
    28. 28. Masturbation Damages Lovemakingin Marriage Builds habit of quick, reliable climax without accommodating our spouse Trains in unnaturally strong and perfect stimulation and frequent sexual release so that married life may not satisfy With fantasies, the habit of sex mentally disconnected from body and partner is likely to leave our spouse feeling lonely and hurt John R. Williams
    29. 29. Overcoming the Porn Habit John R. Williams
    30. 30. Helpful Spiritual Efforts1. Pray for help 3. Discipline the body Pray for other 4. Seek God’s heart strugglers  Towards yourself2. Read God’s words and opposite sex Learn God’s view of  Use affirmations love, sex and marriage 5. Serve God Recognize the evil  Help others behind pornography John R. Williams
    31. 31. Kinds of Challenges of OvercomingAny Bad Habit1. Gain and maintain 5. Cope with the motivation to problems caused change by the habit2. Stop the habit 6. Replace pleasures of the habit with3. Cope with urges positive “addictions”4. Resolve the underlying problems behind the habit
    32. 32. Overview of Basic Strategies to Reduce Negatives1. Get informed 7. Prepare for2. Study your habit temptation3. Aim to stop for a 8. Resist urgescertain period 9. Celebrate daily4. Make clear successesboundaries 10. Keep motivated5. Get control 11. Expect relapses6. Find accountability allies John R. Williams
    33. 33. Overview of Basic Strategies to Build Up Positives & Grow12. Meet the 15. Expand and underlying fortify love needs relationships13. Exchange 16. Make healthy support with new habits others 17. Keep higher14. Learn new happiness in skills mind John R. Williams
    34. 34. Reducing Negatives John R. Williams
    35. 35. Overview of Basic Strategies to Reduce Negatives1. Get informed 7. Prepare for2. Study your habit temptation3. Aim to stop for a 8. Resist urgescertain period 9. Celebrate daily4. Make clear successesboundaries 10. Keep motivated5. Get control 11. Expect relapses6. Find accountability allies John R. Williams
    36. 36. Basic Strategies toReduce Negatives I1. Get informed Understand the effect of the habit on your brain, heart, thinking, and your marriage and other relationships Learn about the porn business and how porn is made Recognize how fake and distorted it is John R. Williams
    37. 37. Basic Strategies to Reduce Negatives II2. Study your habit Triggers of porn Examine why you like it use  What does it help you How the urges cope with? come  What would you miss if Rationalizations you stopped? Cycles of use  Need to find a better Periods of no use way to satisfy those desires
    38. 38. Basic Strategies to Reduce Negatives III3. Aim to stop for a certain period Stopping the habit allows your  Expect system to rest and recover to feel  The brain and spirit can begin depressed to repair the damage and try at first, to return to normal like losing  The habit gets much weaker a great love Good feelings will outweigh the bad Between 30 and 45 days is effective John R. Williams
    39. 39. Basic Strategies toReduce Negatives IV4. Get controlIf you can’t quit outright, Separate porn from gradually taper off masturbation Do the habit on a Learn to schedule masturbate without Reduce frequency images Break up the ritual— Giving up porn is before, during and after harder John R. Williams
    40. 40. Basic Strategies toReduce Negatives V5. Make clear boundaries No more “playthings, playmates or playground” Put computer in public area Use software monitoring Tell others your standards John R. Williams
    41. 41. Basic Strategies toReduce Negatives VI6. Find accountability 7. Prepare for allies temptation No secrets  Anticipate and avoid Find special high risk situations helpers to report to  Have 5 people to call Ask friends to  Have something to monitor you distract yourself John R. Williams
    42. 42. Basic Strategies toReduce Negatives VII8. Resist urges as long as possible Addictions are the habit of satisfying an urge to make it go away Urges come on strong, but they will end As you resist, they naturally fade in intensity, frequency and duration
    43. 43. Dealing with Urges: Argue with Overly Positive ExpectationsRecalling only the upside of the habit feeds urges1. Remember the downside 3. Imagine the worst Do you feel bad after possibilities giving in?  Being discovered What other unpleasant by your wife things result?  Being exposed in2. Imagine talking a loved public one out of viewing porn  Being unable to perform in bed
    44. 44. Basic Strategies toReduce Negatives VIII9. Celebrate daily successes  Focus on one good choice at a time  Praise any progress  Appreciate your gains  Study your progress to learn how to keep it going John R. Williams
    45. 45. Basic Strategies to Reduce Negatives IX10. Keep motivated Externalize List the benefits of stopping porn as the  What do you dislike about enemy this habit?  What harm does it do? Reframe your  What are you afraid might struggle as a heroic fight for happen if you don’t stop?  How would your life self and others improve without it? John R. Williams
    46. 46. Basic Strategies toReduce Negatives X11. Expect relapses When stressed, New habits take time and old urges will effort to develop surface  6-9 months needed to Familiar way retrain the brain to cope  Requires perseverance with the new behaviors John R. Williams
    47. 47. Unhealthy Guilt and Despair Can Fuel the HabitResist all-or- nothing Stress & Porn thinking Distress Use Feeds self-hatred and despair Porn Guilt & Use Despair John R. Williams
    48. 48. Get Stronger from RelapsesGain the lessons:  Quickly get back1. You have faced a new on track level of challenge  Admire your own Need to study it and strength adjust  Don’t get2. You misjudged the discouraged temptation Or you misjudged your level of skill John R. Williams
    49. 49. For the Spouse of a Porn User1. Get educated about 3. Find support the habit  Fellow sufferers Keep your reactions  Counselor and expectations for 4. Find others to change reasonable help your2. Be careful about spouse learning details  Don’t be “porn May be too distressing police” John R. Williams
    50. 50. Building Up Positives John R. Williams
    51. 51. Overview of Basic Strategies toBuild Up Positives & Grow12. Meet the 15. Expand and underlying fortify love needs relationships13. Exchange 16. Make healthy support with new habits others 17. Keep higher14. Learn new happiness in skills mind John R. Williams
    52. 52. Basic Strategies toBuild Up Positives & Grow I12. Meet the 13. Exchange underlying needs support with Cravings signal the others need for love, etc.  Open up to let What distress are other strugglers you avoiding? help you Face and address  Give the same in specific fears return Check for  Learn by depression John R. Williams teaching
    53. 53. Basic Strategies toBuild Up Positives & Grow II 14. Learn new skills  Dealing with emotions  Stress release  Managing conflict with others  Problem solving  Self expression  Making friends  Healthy bonding with others John R. Williams
    54. 54. Basic Strategies toBuild Up Positives & Grow III15. Expand and fortify love relationships Need good vertical  Fight any and horizontal reluctance to connections get close to To give care and key people receive it  Father Non-sexual physical relationship affection is important John R. Williams
    55. 55. Basic Strategies toBuild Up Positives & Grow IV16. Make healthy 17. Keep higher new habits happiness in mind Exercise and rest  Remind yourself of Good engaging what you really want activities  Use pictures and Harmless phrases distractions John R. Williams
    56. 56. Helpful Resources1. Porn Filter and 4. Purity Education, Accountability Support and Coaching Software  YourBrainOnPorn.com Max.com  3xPureOnline.com2. Filtered Internet  DrDougWeiss.com BSecure.com  CandeoHealthySexuality3. Movie filter .com Maxplay.com John R. Williams
    57. 57. John R. Williams, M.M.F.T. 973.340.8642 John.Coach1@gmail.com John R. Williams

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