On the day we found out about our daughter's diagnosis of Aicardi's syndrome, a nurse told us to remember to be kind to one another. What amazing words she said, but they are so true. Of course, sufferring from an amazing amount of grief, I wanted to seek solice in information of special needs children when I stumbled upon this book. We had our daughter 1 month after our 12 year anniversary and she was diagnosed at one month old. We had a strong marriage, but special-needs can definately break up marriages, so I figured why not.
The book does what it says. Addresses the fundamentals of marriage.It talks about remembering each other, communicating, ensuring you take time for each other and not letting the child consume your life. This is important. A child is going to change your life anyways, but a special needs child REALLY does. It also talks about how you might grieve different from one another and learning to respect yoru patner's way of grieving. I won't go into all of it, but it really helped me mostly for learning how to deal with my partner's way of grieving and respecting it was not going to be the same as mine. It taught me I needed outside help (went to counseling) and how to accept help for others and ensuring we took time for ourselves.
The book also discusses the issues of if it does lead to cheating, divorce, remarraige, and learning from other perople's long term marraiges.It also has resources from community and ways to deal with stress.
It was a quick read and had alot of references and comments from couples. The book is a definate way to just remind you how to work with your partner, even if you already knew how.
Katie is almost two years old and we take time for each other, seek respite care and accept offers of help from the family. We know when there are scares to turn to each other and talk, or respect when the other is not ready to talk. But most importantly, we remember the words of that Nurse and what this book says, to be kind to one another.
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