Getting along with others

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An expanded Conflict Resolution Presentations which gives more practical advice on how to use the information.
I had members of the class give real life examples of Conflict Causes as listed on pages 13-18 . This helped bring out some very REAL issues (without centering anyone out) that we were able to provide resolutions for. Worked well. Good Luck.

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  • Open Music File & Play Conflict Related SongsIntroducemyself and distribute first handout. Ensure name tags are completed and worn.
  • Open Music File & Play Conflict Related SongsIntroducemyself and distribute first handout. Ensure name tags are completed and worn.
  • Story: Spent the last few days reviewing material and researching suggestions on how to deal with difficult people and ideas for conflict resolution.On Sunday, my partner was in a very bad mood and continually caused uncomfortable situations and stressful moments. I thought, “what a perfect opportunity to test some of the tips we are going to cover later. Unfortunately, I tried them all and they all failed. Later in the evening I found myself travelling alone and I felt discouraged in regards to the tools failing me. But then I suddenly realized that they DID indeed work—because I didn’t feel as if I had been in a conflict whatsoever. I didn’t have resentment, anger, sadness, confusion or any typical after-emotion. Instead I felt calm, and confident that none of it was my fault, I did nothing to escalate the situation and I had the understanding that sometimes you can do nothing by realise the conflict is due to another’s personality or mood.
  • Read and explain this first page of conflict causes. Walk around with envelope with pieces of paper and get each person to pick two and between the two, choose one, then think of an example of a situation in which this was the cause of conflict either for them or a friend and how to resolve it.
  • Ask who has an example of a cause from this list.
  • Ask who has an example of a cause from this list.
  • THESE ARE EXAMPLES OF LINDA’S SITUATION!Read her story and point out how each of these causes were present how she dealt with it.
  • NEPOTISM – when someone holds a position due to contacts/relationships and not personal merit or qualifications.Ask who has an example of a cause from this list.
  • Ask who has an example of a cause from this list.
  • But how can we best ensure that a conflict won’t leave us feeling battered, abused or disappointed in our own actions?We need to be prepared with tools and practices so that we won’t be caught off guard and allow someone to take advantage of us.We also need to have practices in place so that we won’t lose our cool and end up with regrets.
  • Emotional Triggers: Facial Expressions are the most common type---control your own and don’t be swayed by them.
  • The first way we are going to cover some mechanisms for effective conflict is
  • Explain that (for adults especially) writing things down helps with memory.
  • 1. You cannot wait for the other person to fix things. 1. Meaning that the other person is acting in a way that has always proven to get them what they want. (ask for someone to give an example of a shark in this situation) so you have to learn to provide them with want they want prior to them engaging in the undesirable action. 3. Suspend thoughts of being manipulated or sabotaged, don’t judge them, simply help them get what they want with a lending hand. LangsWe know that health, wellness and access to care are affected by many factors, including income, housing, employment, education, social support, food security, gender and the environment. Langs staff and volunteers understand that this complex picture is particularly challenging for members of our community who experience multiple barriers to access. 4. Try and try and try and try again. Challenge yourself to find a solution.
  • Getting along with others

    1. 1. POSSIBILITY?• Use conflicts for positive growthexperiences• Anger managementtechniques/meditation• View situations as being difficult – canbe changed• Awareness of personality types &individual conflict styles (includingour own)
    2. 2. POSSIBILITY?• We will examine conflict theories• We will explore causes ofconflicts• We will review examples ofconflicts and difficult situations• We will consider advice andpractical tips from the experts• We will discuss our own suggestedsolutions.
    3. 3. BANG!
    4. 4. • A conflict is a fight, struggle, battle,disagreement, dispute or quarrel.• A conflict can be as small as adisagreement or as large as a war.
    5. 5. • Conflict-you’ll find iteverywhere!• Whenever two peoplecome into contact, thepotential for conflictarises. It is a normal partof human interaction• A struggle over wants,needs, goals and values.
    6. 6. • WANT: Something one desires• NEED: Something necessary• VALUE: Estimated or assigned worth• GOAL: What one works to achieve
    7. 7. WANT NEEDGOALVALUE
    8. 8. Differences in wants, needs,goals or valuesScarcity of resources: property,money, time or powerCompetitionRivalry Sport
    9. 9. Benefits ofConflict• Conflicts increase awareness ofproblems• Conflicts can make life moreinteresting• Conflicts allow you to see differentperspectives• Conflicts create new ideas• Conflicts allow you to learn moreabout others
    10. 10. A Conflict Has BeenHelpful If:• You are able to relate better withothers• You feel better about each other• You are satisfied with the results ofthe conflict• Your ability to resolve conflicts hasimproved• You feel your point of view has beenheard
    11. 11. • Ask Questions – Communicate wants• Consider everyone’s expectations• Accept there will be different perspectives• Watch for emotional triggers & remain calm• Focus on preventing escalation• Commit to working things out• Be familiar with conflict styles
    12. 12. • Awareness of the various conflict styles allows fora better understanding of others• By being able to predict someone’s reactions, wecan send out triggers for positive responses• Knowledge empowers; as with thisunderstanding, comes the ability to“influence others”
    13. 13. MAGIC!TheLangsWitch
    14. 14. The Turtle: Avoidance• The strength of this style is that this personcan easily look past conflicts and realizes mostconflicts will solve themselves. They are calmon the outside and help de-escalate emotionsin conflict.• The struggle with this style is the tendency tominimize, deny, and avoid conflict altogether.Major conflict tends to grow worse when itisn’t addressed.
    15. 15. The Turtle: Avoidance
    16. 16. The Teddy Bear: Accommodation• The strength of this style is how likeable andlovable this person is. They want and needharmony. They will accept blame just to bringpeace to angry situations.• The struggle of this style is that a teddy bearmay be taken advantage of; become a doormat.Secretly, they tend to have low self-esteem anduse likability from others as a way to build theirown self-confidence.
    17. 17. The Teddy Bear: Accommodation
    18. 18. The Shark: Competition• The strength of this style is the ability to bestrong, courageous and bring a conflict out inthe open quickly. A shark is a leader that canconfront bullies.• The struggles are becoming too pushy, tactlessand hurting people’s feelings. Sharks canescalate emotions and create barriers easily.
    19. 19. The Shark: Competition
    20. 20. The Fox: Compromise• The strength of the fox is communication and awillingness to find win-win or lose-losecompromises. Often the fox is able to craftintelligent intermediate solutions.• The struggles of the fox are an overuse ofdeceptiveness and manipulation devices.People may feel “outfoxed” and cheated byothers using this style.
    21. 21. The Fox: Compromise
    22. 22. The Owl: Collaboration• The strength of this style is integrity. Owls buildtrust, respect and deep relationships. They arenot tied to their way and tend to have an openmind for solutions that create a win-winexperience.• The struggle is that owls must have two willingparties with high levels of communication skillsin order to collaborate. Someconflicts require quick solutions andthis style may take too long.
    23. 23. The Owl: Collaboration
    24. 24. Successful Conflict ResolutionMeans Being Flexible Enough ToUse All Conflict StylesDepending on The Situation!
    25. 25. Don’t Allow Yourself To BeConsumed With The ArgumentDon’t Stay In An Abusive SituationWhen There Is Nothing To BeGained By Winning / Settling
    26. 26. CHANGECHANGECHANGEYour Attitude MUST changeCheck Your PerceptionSee Beyond Your Pre Conceived Opinions
    27. 27. 1. It is your responsibility to resolve theconflict.2. Every action has a positive intention.3. People are doing the best they can withwhat they have.4. Flexibility is the only way to get results
    28. 28. Change THEIRAttitudeUnderstand Why They Are Difficult(and show understanding)Gently Show Them Another Angle(and that you deserve respect)
    29. 29. TAKE A STANDLast OptionDevelop A Strategy – Plan, Don’t ReactConsult With OthersTake Situation SeriouslyDefend Your Position With Facts

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