Your SlideShare is downloading. ×
Readiness to Adopt Children with Needs
Readiness to Adopt Children with Needs
Readiness to Adopt Children with Needs
Readiness to Adopt Children with Needs
Readiness to Adopt Children with Needs
Readiness to Adopt Children with Needs
Readiness to Adopt Children with Needs
Readiness to Adopt Children with Needs
Readiness to Adopt Children with Needs
Readiness to Adopt Children with Needs
Readiness to Adopt Children with Needs
Readiness to Adopt Children with Needs
Readiness to Adopt Children with Needs
Readiness to Adopt Children with Needs
Upcoming SlideShare
Loading in...5
×

Thanks for flagging this SlideShare!

Oops! An error has occurred.

×
Saving this for later? Get the SlideShare app to save on your phone or tablet. Read anywhere, anytime – even offline.
Text the download link to your phone
Standard text messaging rates apply

Readiness to Adopt Children with Needs

228

Published on

Adoption of children with special needs requires a lot from parents. This self-survey helps prospective adoptive parents think about whether or not they are prepared for the adoption of children with …

Adoption of children with special needs requires a lot from parents. This self-survey helps prospective adoptive parents think about whether or not they are prepared for the adoption of children with special news. Doing the survey will help parents identify their strengths and weaknesses and provides guidelines for where to get the information and support that will prepare them and see them through difficult times.

Published in: Health & Medicine
0 Comments
0 Likes
Statistics
Notes
  • Be the first to comment

  • Be the first to like this

No Downloads
Views
Total Views
228
On Slideshare
0
From Embeds
0
Number of Embeds
0
Actions
Shares
0
Downloads
2
Comments
0
Likes
0
Embeds 0
No embeds

Report content
Flagged as inappropriate Flag as inappropriate
Flag as inappropriate

Select your reason for flagging this presentation as inappropriate.

Cancel
No notes for slide

Transcript

  • 1. Hennepin County Adoption Project School of Social Work University of Minnesota, Twin Cities Readiness to Adopt Children with Special Needs: A Self-Survey for Prospective Adoptive Parents (RASS) Jane F. Gilgun, Ph.D., LICSW jgilgun@umn.edu Susan Keskinen, MSW skeskinen@yahoo.com
  • 2. Readiness to Adopt Self-Survey (RASS) This survey will help you to prepare for the adoption of children with special needs. Children with special needs have experienced adversities, such as abuse, neglect, and abandonment, or may have neurological, psychological, and behavioral issues that require special care. Your answers will show you where you have strengths as a parent and where you have room for improvement. Be as honest as you can as you complete the survey; no one but you will know your answers. Fill out the survey on your own. If you have a partner, your partner should fill out his or her own survey, too. The survey is designed for partners to talk to each other about their answers to the survey questions. Adoption professionals at the agencies where you are applying for children may talk to you about some of the issues that this survey raises. The survey has six parts. Fill out as many or as few of these parts as you want at one time. When you believe some items don’t apply to you, please feel free to skip them. On a scale of 1 to 5, rate yourself on each of the following statements. The scale items are: 1 = Doesn’t describe me at all 2 = Describes me a little 3 = Describes me somewhat 4 = Describes me quite well 5 = Describes me very well
  • 3. Parenting Identity as a Parent ____ I want to be a parent. ____ My partner wants to be a parent. ____ I know that parenting means giving up some things that are important to me. ____ I know that parenting entails great rewards and some heartaches. ____ When I adopt, I will feel that the children are my children. Commitment ____ When I make a decision to adopt a child, I am making a commitment for life. ____ I know that adopting children entails risks and that there are no guarantees about how the children will turn out. ____ I will help my adopted children handle the sometimes harsh realities, such as their histories of separation and loss. ____ I will remain committed to my children if new information about them comes to light, such as their being more traumatized than I had originally thought. Willingness to Learn About Children’s Needs ____ I will attend workshops and trainings on the issues that the children I adopt may have, such as attachment issues, fetal alcohol syndrome and effects, and behavioral issues. ____ I will look beyond the children's needs to see their resilience; how they have coped with, adapted to, and overcome negative experiences. ____ I know that both positive and negative experiences have shaped how my children think, feel, and behave. Authoritative Parenting ____ I will be affectionate with my children, through both touching and words. ____ I know how to help children express their emotions in constructive ways. ____ I will set clear and fair limits for my children. ____ I have clear and fair expectations for my children. ____ I will give age-appropriate explanations for the expectations I have. ____ I will give my children choices in day-to-day decisions. ____ I will set clear and fair consequences for my children. ____ I will follow through on consequences.
  • 4. ____ I will give my children age-appropriate responsibilities around the house and yard. ____ I will praise my children for respecting limits and other positive behaviors. Affirming Children's Strength's, Cultural Heritage, and Identity ____ I will recognize and praise my children's accomplishments directly to them. ____ I will create opportunities for my children to understand, identify with, and be part of their cultural, ethnic, and racial heritages. ____ I will create opportunities where my adoptive children can interact informally with members of their ethnic and cultural groups. ____ I will learn how to perform routine care of my children's skin and hair, care that might be different from how my own culture performs these tasks. ____ I know that when I adopt trans-racially I have become part of a multi-cultural family. ____ I know that racial issues in trans-racial adoptions can be very difficult. ____ I will accept my children's sexual orientation. Facilitating Children's Acceptance of their own Pasts ____ I recognize that my adoptive children will want to talk about their pasts. ____ I will be open and accepting of my children's desire to make sense of their pasts. ____ I will engage in age-appropriate conversations and activities to help my children understand their pasts. ____ I will seek out people who can help me deal with my children when I feel threatened or unsure about my children's desire to make sense of their pasts.
  • 5. Personal Qualities Sense of Humor ____ I can find humor in situations that may also be difficult. ____ I can laugh at myself in ways that help me accept myself as a person who makes mistakes. ____ I may not find some situations humorous at the time but later on they may seem funny. ____ I know that some situations are not funny but threaten the safety of others. Flexibility and Adaptability ____ I am willing to change my ways of doing things when they don't work. ____ My work schedule has enough flexibility that I can make sure my children get to any appointments they may have for medical and other services. ____ I am willing to move to another part of town or to another city to meet the needs of my children. ____ I learn from experience and change my behaviors accordingly. ____ I can accept things I cannot change. ____ I will be flexible in my lifestyle (work hours, social networks, and vacation plans) to accommodate what my children may need to thrive. ____ I will find ways to keep up with my own interests and activities. ____ I am willing to listen to professionals who have views about the children that are different from my own. Emotional Capacities ____ I can express my emotions directly, honestly, and respectfully. ____ I know how to elicit the direct and honest emotions of other people. ____ I can deal constructively with my emotional responses when my children appear to reject me and are loveable with other people. ____ I can keep my cool when other people, including my children, are highly emotional, angry at me, destroying property, or harming other persons. ____ I know when I am about to lose my cool. ____ I know what to do when I am about to lose my cool. ____ I will apologize to my children when I over-react to their behaviors or cause them to feel anxious. ____ I can forgive myself if I over-react to my children. ____ I know that some children may be more than I or my family can handle.
  • 6. Resilience ____ I have successfully coped with, adapted to, and overcome adversities in my own life. ____ I can empathize with the adversities my adoptive children may have experienced. ____ I can set limits and be an authoritative parent even when I recognize that children's behaviors are related to previous traumas and not the current situation. ____ I admire people, especially children, who have survived adversities and manage to go on. ____ I will actively search for and celebrate my children's resilience; how they have coped with, adapted to, and overcome negative experiences.
  • 7. Family & Social Networks Teamwork ____ I have friends and family members who can help with child care, transportation, and more extended care when I want to take a vacation or travel. ____ I have a partner who will take over when I want a couple of hours away from the children on the spur of the moment. ____ I have a friend or family member who will take over when I want time away from my children on the spur of the moment. ____ I have good working relationships with school personnel, medical doctors, and other service providers. Maintaining Contact with Biological Families and Other Persons Important to the Child(ren) ____ I will welcome conversations with my adopted children about their biological families and other persons important to them. ____ I will maintain contact with my children's biological families and other persons important to the children, as far as that is feasible. ____ I will create opportunities for my children to maintain contact with siblings and any other members of their biological family, when this is feasible. ____ I will keep letters, pictures, and other mementos from my children's past and share them with my children when the time is appropriate. ____ I will be fair and kind when I talk with my adopted children about their biological families and other persons important to them. Willingness to Deal with Reactions of Others to Your Adoptive Parent Status ____ I will deal constructively with others when they make inappropriate comments or ask inappropriate questions about my adoptive children and/or my status as an adoptive parent. ____ I will respond with tact when other people give me unsolicited advice about how to handle my adopted children. ____ I will make constructive suggestions to preschools and other settings about how to correct situations where I find my children are being treated unfairly or unkindly. Impact of Adoption on Family Relationships ____ I know that adoption will change my relationship with other children in my family. ____ I know that adoption will change my relationship with my partner. ____ I know that adoption will have effects on my relationships with my extended family. ____ I know that the other children in my family want me to adopt.
  • 8. ____ I will include the other children in my family in preparations for bringing adoptive children into our home. ____ I have educated the other children in my family about the issues and behaviors that adoptive children may have. ____ I know that the other children in my family can cope with the issues and behaviors that adoptive children may have. ____ If I, my partner, or other children in my family have trouble coping with the issues and behaviors that adoptive children may have, I will seek professional help.
  • 9. Values, Expectations, and Beliefs Altruism ____ One of the reasons I want to adopt is because I want to do something good for a child. ____ I believe that every child deserves to be part of a loving family. Realistic Expectations about Yourself and the Children ____ I have expectations for my children, including some I might not be aware of. ____ I have expectations for myself, including some that I may not know about yet. ____ My expectations for myself and for my children might not be realistic. ____ I have the ability to change my expectations for myself and for my children while maintaining my role as an authoritative parent. ____ I am realistic about how positive and negative experiences have affected my adopted children. Admirations of the Children ____ I will appreciate the resilience my children have to survive the difficulties in their lives. ____ I will appreciate the interests, emotional capacities, and activities that have meaning to my adopted children. ____ I will provide opportunities for my adopted children to develop interests, emotional capacities that have meaning to them. Spirituality ____ I am part of a community that provides me with a sense of belonging and support. ____ If my children want to be part of a faith community, I will ensure that this happens. ____ If my children want to be part of a faith community that is different from my own, I will respect their wishes and ensure that they can be part of this community. ____ I understand that my membership in a faith community is not a requirement to adopt children. ____ When I have experienced hurt and loss, I have looked for something positive to draw from those experiences. Sense of the Future ____ I will think about and plan for questions/issues my adopted children may have regarding race. ____ I will think about and plan for questions/issues my adopted children may have regarding family of origin.
  • 10. ____ I will plan for my children's education. ____ I will make plans that ensure that my adopted children have stable living arrangements and adequate food, clothing, shelter when they leave my home as young adults. ____ I will make arrangements for the care of my children should I become incapacitated or die.
  • 11. Creating Healthy Environments Play, Hobbies, Sports, and Recreation ____ I have hobbies and recreational activities that I can share with children, such as bike riding, baseball, music, museums, travel, picnics, gardening. ____ I know pretend games and what-if games that will help my children deal with events from their pasts. Physical Environment ____ My home is child friendly. ____ My home provides a space, such as a bedroom, that each child can call his/her own. ____ My neighborhood has playgrounds and other recreational facilities for children. ____ I am willing to remodel/change my house to accommodate the special needs of my adopted children. ____ There are other children in the neighborhood with whom my children can play. Personal Resources ____ I have resources such as time, transportation, and childcare that enable me to get my adopted children to the services they need. ____ I have a job that allows some flexibility in terms of being able to have the time to attend to parenting duties such as school conferences and doctor appointments. ____ I will find the money I need to obtain services that my children may require.
  • 12. When You and Your Family Need Extra Help Willingness to Accept Help ____ I might need some help parenting my children, such as before and after school child care, respite care, and medical services. ____ I know that my adopted children may need extra help with issues such as handling their emotions and behaviors. This may result in a need for child and family therapy. ____ I can deal with the powerful emotions and memories, both positive and negative, that parenting may evoke. This may result in my need for counseling and therapy. ____ Family therapy and couples therapy may be required in order for me to learn how to parent my adopted children. ____ I am willing to attend support groups for adoptive parents. ____ I am willing to attend training sessions for adoptive parents on how to parent children who have the issues that my adopted children have. Preparation to Seek Help ____ I am willing to seek the help my children and family require, such as medical or psychological services. ____ I will seek the financial support that my children are entitled to receive. ____ I am willing to use services as soon as a problem arises, rather then wait until I get overwhelmed by it. ____ I know that I may have trouble finding the services my adopted children or our family requires. ____ I know that I might have to be very persistent to get the services that my adopted children require. Relationship with Service Providers ____ I know the importance of good working relationships with service providers, such as adoption social workers, physicians, and therapists. ____ I will do all I can to understand the point of view of service providers without losing touch with my own point of view. ____ I will negotiate what I want and do not want from service providers. ____ I will talk things over with service providers when I think they are doing a poor job. ____ It is possible that I will have conflicts with some service providers. ____ I have the ability to be assertive with service providers.
  • 13. ____ I will seek the support of others when I am having trouble being assertive with service providers. Some Adoptions Don’t Work as Planned ____ I realize that the behaviors of my children may threaten the physical and psychological safety of members of my family. ____ I realize that the behaviors of my children may threaten the physical and psychological safety of members of my family. ____ I accept the possibility that my children might require more supervision than I can provide. ____ I accept the possibility that my children might require out of home care. ____ I understand that if my adopted children receive out of home care, they would still be a full member of our family. Electronic Books & Articles by Jane Gilgun Books Child Sexual Abuse: From Harsh Realities to Hope Children with Serious Conduct Issues Lemons or Lemonade? An Anger Workbook for Kids The NEATS: A Child & Family Assessment Articles A NEATS Analysis of Anxiety A NEATS Analysis of Child Physical Abuse (also a chapter in The NEATS) A NEATS Analysis of Childhood ADHD (also a chapter in The NEATS) A NEATS Analysis of Children with Sexual Behavior Issues (also a chapter in The NEATS) Attachment & Child Development (also a chapter in The NEATS) Executive Function & Self-Regulation in Children (also a chapter from The NEATS) How to Raise a Sex Offender: It’s Easy; Prevention is Hard Young Children’s Catastrophic Fears Children’s Stories Busjacked! Emma & her Forever Person Daddy Loves Me
  • 14. Five Little Cygnets Cross the Bundoran Road Jill’s Warts Patrick & the Magic Mountain The King’s Toast The Little Pig Who Didn’t Go to Market The Picking Flower Garden Turtle Night at Playa Grande Will the Soccer Star

×