A DICKENS OF  A KEYNOTE
JAMES EDWARD GRAY II•I   have been in the Ruby community a moderately long time•Ihave written code, books, and other docum...
THE GHOST OFKEYNOTES PRESENT
WHAT IS A KEYNOTE?
I USED KEYNOTE Image from http://www.apple.com/iwork/keynote/
15 MINUTES?
ASK LSRCImage from http://lonestarrubyconf.com/
ASK LSRCEveryone gets a keynote!Image from http://lonestarrubyconf.com/
THE COLOR RED?
THE COLOR RED?
…the keynote address… is delivered       to set the underlying tone    and summarize the core messageor most important rev...
I’M RIGHT!
I’M RIGHT!  The power!!!
THE GHOST OFKEYNOTES PAST Photo from http://www.nomedojogo.com/page/2/
A STUDY OF               GREAT KEYNOTES• Speakers     tend to talk about what’s important to them• They     relate persona...
BOOBS
WHAT ISSHE DOING?               Photo fromhttp://www.pregnancy-and-giving-birth.com/
HOW???
JUST EAT ITPhoto from http://eclipsstudios.blogspot.com/2008_10_01_archive.html
THE CABBAGE FIELDPhoto from http://rev-views.blogspot.com/2008/11/dvds-in-review-41-cabbage.html
IS THIS DANGEROUS?Photo from http://www.playinghouseblog.com/2011/01/dubai-farmers-market.html
I GOOGLED IT
I GOOGLED IT•Iknow it sounds weird but you can put cabbage leaves on your breasts and it will dry your milk out! I did it ...
I GOOGLED IT•Iknow it sounds weird but you can put cabbage leaves on your breasts and it will dry your milk out! I did it ...
THE ORIGINALAUTHORITY
MAGIC      WORDS          scientific study           double-blind        placebo controlled          peer reviewed         ...
THE PROCESS• Question• Think   critically• Search   for evidence
THIS IS SKEPTICISM
WHAT DO SKEPTICS DO?     Photo from http://rubyhacker.com/
I doubt that!                      I doubt that!WHAT DO SKEPTICS DO?     Photo from http://rubyhacker.com/
THE TRAITS OF A SKEPTIC• Questions   authority (respectfully, of course)•A  questioning attitude of knowledge, facts, or o...
SKEPTICAL INTERESTS• Common       brain malfunctions• Conspiracy     theories and other myths• Logical   fallacies
WHAT IS HYPNAGOGIA?  Photo from http://ufoclearinghouse.webs.com/ufochreportingcenter.htm
WHAT IS HYPNAGOGIA?  Photo from http://ufoclearinghouse.webs.com/ufochreportingcenter.htm
MYTHICAL CREATURES• Bigfoot• El   Chupacabra• 911 “Truthers”• Feng   Shui Experts• Chiropractors
LOGICAL FALLACIES
LOGICAL FALLACIES•I   know it sounds weird but… put cabbage… on your breasts
LOGICAL FALLACIES•I   know it sounds weird but… put cabbage… on your breasts • Argumentum     ad Ignorantiam (appeal to ig...
LOGICAL FALLACIES•I   know it sounds weird but… put cabbage… on your breasts • Argumentum     ad Ignorantiam (appeal to ig...
LOGICAL FALLACIES•I   know it sounds weird but… put cabbage… on your breasts • Argumentum     ad Ignorantiam (appeal to ig...
LOGICAL FALLACIES•I   know it sounds weird but… put cabbage… on your breasts  • Argumentum     ad Ignorantiam (appeal to i...
LOGICAL FALLACIES•I   know it sounds weird but… put cabbage… on your breasts  • Argumentum     ad Ignorantiam (appeal to i...
REMEMBER:BE SKEPTICAL NOT CYNICAL
WHAT ABOUT RUBY?
WHAT ABOUT RUBY?
SKEPTICS MAKEBETTER PROGRAMMERS
WE KNOW THIS Think about optimizations
PROGRAMMING FALLACIES
PROGRAMMING FALLACIES• That   [language construct] shouldn’t be used because it’s [evil]
PROGRAMMING FALLACIES• That   [language construct] shouldn’t be used because it’s [evil] • Argument     from final conseque...
PROGRAMMING FALLACIES• That   [language construct] shouldn’t be used because it’s [evil] • Argument     from final conseque...
PROGRAMMING FALLACIES• That   [language construct] shouldn’t be used because it’s [evil] • Argument     from final conseque...
PROGRAMMING FALLACIES• That   [language construct] shouldn’t be used because it’s [evil] • Argument     from final conseque...
PROGRAMMING FALLACIES• That   [language construct] shouldn’t be used because it’s [evil] • Argument     from final conseque...
THE CULTURE OF TESTING
I TESTProof available upon request
THE ONLY WAY
WE ALWAYS DO IT
THAT’S HOWTHE EXPERTS DO IT
IS THIS STILL POSITIVE?
WHO DO WE WANT  TO BECOME?
MY ANSWER:I WANT US TO BE A CULTURETHAT REASONS TOGETHER
ZED SHAW
*F* HIM!
*F* HIM!Did I mention DHH?
WHAT’S NEXT?
THE GHOST OFKEYNOTES FUTUREPhoto from http://www.flickr.com/photos/oreillyconf/4682679962/
OBIE’S KEYNOTE  Image from http://lonestarrubyconf.com/
CHAD’S KEYNOTE  Image from http://lonestarrubyconf.com/
TOPIC UNKNOWN  Image from http://lonestarrubyconf.com/
REALSOFTWARE ENGINEERING
Glenn can and should give his Real Software Engineering talk,essentially unchanged, at basically any     conference thatll...
GLENN’S JOKE
I do think software is…   in some respects,          a science.Glenn Vanderburg in Real Software Engineering
MY JOKE
WE WANT MORE SCIENCE!
WE WANT MORE SCIENCE!
REFRESHER:   THE SCIENTIFIC METHOD• You    start by making observations• This   leads you to form a hypothesis• You    try...
BE OBSERVANT
A HYPOTHESISMUST BE FALSIFIABLE…
… AND MAKE USEFULPREDICTIONS ABOUT    THE FUTURE
AIM FOR WRONG,   NOT RIGHT
A JURY OF YOUR PEERS
KNOWLEDGE IS ALWAYS  UP FOR REVISION
REAL SCIENCE• It’s   messy• It   doesn’t only happen in labs• It’s   for everyone• It’s   imperfect by definition, but self...
Science is the best thingthat humanity has ever come up with.          And if it isnt, then        science will fix it.    ...
WE ARE DOING SCIENCE       Great news!
AGILE DEVELOPMENTHELPS US MAKE PREDICTIONS   ABOUT THE PROJECT
TESTING IS HOW WE TRYTO PROVE CODE WRONG
GITHUB AND BLOGGING  ARE HOW WE HANDLE      PEER REVIEW
RECENT INSPIRATIONS• Avdi   Grimm’s Vituous Code blog and Exceptional Ruby book• Aaron   Patterson’s improvements to Rails...
MY LATEST EFFORT     http://rubyrogues.com/
MORE OF THIS, PLEASE!
MY HOPE:THAT WE PUT THE SCIENCEBACK IN COMPUTER SCIENCE
WHAT SHOULD WE DO?
REIMAGINEDOCUMENTATION
RDOC ISN’T ENOUGH
WHAT ABOUTTUTORIALS OR Q&A?
YARD IS JUST RDOC++
WHERE’S THE RUBYOF DOCUMENTATION?
EXPAND PAIRING
SYSTEMS ARE HUGE
PROGRAMMERS SPECIALIZE
BUSINESS NEEDS    VERSES  TALENT
WHAT IF WE COULDSHARE A LOT MORE?
YOUR IDEA HERE!
ONE MORE THING…
YOU CAN HELP   Science says so
ASCH PARADIGMImage from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asch_conformity_experiments
75% CONFORMTO WRONG IDEAS
BUT JUSTONE DISSENTER…
YOU CAN CHANGE OUR COMMUNITY!
THANK YOU
A Dickens of A Keynote
A Dickens of A Keynote
A Dickens of A Keynote
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  • A Dickens of A Keynote

    1. 1. A DICKENS OF A KEYNOTE
    2. 2. JAMES EDWARD GRAY II•I have been in the Ruby community a moderately long time•Ihave written code, books, and other documentation, plus organized events•Ihave now given a talk at every Lone Star Ruby Conference (if you will allow one by video proxy)•I am currently giving my first keynote address!
    3. 3. THE GHOST OFKEYNOTES PRESENT
    4. 4. WHAT IS A KEYNOTE?
    5. 5. I USED KEYNOTE Image from http://www.apple.com/iwork/keynote/
    6. 6. 15 MINUTES?
    7. 7. ASK LSRCImage from http://lonestarrubyconf.com/
    8. 8. ASK LSRCEveryone gets a keynote!Image from http://lonestarrubyconf.com/
    9. 9. THE COLOR RED?
    10. 10. THE COLOR RED?
    11. 11. …the keynote address… is delivered to set the underlying tone and summarize the core messageor most important revelation of the event. Definition from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keynote
    12. 12. I’M RIGHT!
    13. 13. I’M RIGHT! The power!!!
    14. 14. THE GHOST OFKEYNOTES PAST Photo from http://www.nomedojogo.com/page/2/
    15. 15. A STUDY OF GREAT KEYNOTES• Speakers tend to talk about what’s important to them• They relate personal anecdotes to our lives as Rubyists• Such speeches are usually light on code and heavy on ideas• It’s common to talk about the future• The goal seems to be to inspire the audience
    16. 16. BOOBS
    17. 17. WHAT ISSHE DOING? Photo fromhttp://www.pregnancy-and-giving-birth.com/
    18. 18. HOW???
    19. 19. JUST EAT ITPhoto from http://eclipsstudios.blogspot.com/2008_10_01_archive.html
    20. 20. THE CABBAGE FIELDPhoto from http://rev-views.blogspot.com/2008/11/dvds-in-review-41-cabbage.html
    21. 21. IS THIS DANGEROUS?Photo from http://www.playinghouseblog.com/2011/01/dubai-farmers-market.html
    22. 22. I GOOGLED IT
    23. 23. I GOOGLED IT•Iknow it sounds weird but you can put cabbage leaves on your breasts and it will dry your milk out! I did it and it works.
    24. 24. I GOOGLED IT•Iknow it sounds weird but you can put cabbage leaves on your breasts and it will dry your milk out! I did it and it works.• Cool cabbage compresses will reduce swelling quickly, and if left in place for long periods will help diminish milk supply. This method may be used instead of or in addition to removing small amounts of milk to reduce supply. Use fresh green leaves, cleaned and chilled, wrapped around the breasts. Change them about every two hours.
    25. 25. THE ORIGINALAUTHORITY
    26. 26. MAGIC WORDS scientific study double-blind placebo controlled peer reviewed Study fromhttp://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10205435
    27. 27. THE PROCESS• Question• Think critically• Search for evidence
    28. 28. THIS IS SKEPTICISM
    29. 29. WHAT DO SKEPTICS DO? Photo from http://rubyhacker.com/
    30. 30. I doubt that! I doubt that!WHAT DO SKEPTICS DO? Photo from http://rubyhacker.com/
    31. 31. THE TRAITS OF A SKEPTIC• Questions authority (respectfully, of course)•A questioning attitude of knowledge, facts, or opinions/beliefs stated as facts• Suspended judgement and systemic doubt• Requires all new information to be well supported by evidence
    32. 32. SKEPTICAL INTERESTS• Common brain malfunctions• Conspiracy theories and other myths• Logical fallacies
    33. 33. WHAT IS HYPNAGOGIA? Photo from http://ufoclearinghouse.webs.com/ufochreportingcenter.htm
    34. 34. WHAT IS HYPNAGOGIA? Photo from http://ufoclearinghouse.webs.com/ufochreportingcenter.htm
    35. 35. MYTHICAL CREATURES• Bigfoot• El Chupacabra• 911 “Truthers”• Feng Shui Experts• Chiropractors
    36. 36. LOGICAL FALLACIES
    37. 37. LOGICAL FALLACIES•I know it sounds weird but… put cabbage… on your breasts
    38. 38. LOGICAL FALLACIES•I know it sounds weird but… put cabbage… on your breasts • Argumentum ad Ignorantiam (appeal to ignorance)
    39. 39. LOGICAL FALLACIES•I know it sounds weird but… put cabbage… on your breasts • Argumentum ad Ignorantiam (appeal to ignorance)• Cool cabbage compresses… for long periods… diminish milk
    40. 40. LOGICAL FALLACIES•I know it sounds weird but… put cabbage… on your breasts • Argumentum ad Ignorantiam (appeal to ignorance)• Cool cabbage compresses… for long periods… diminish milk • Confusing association with causation
    41. 41. LOGICAL FALLACIES•I know it sounds weird but… put cabbage… on your breasts • Argumentum ad Ignorantiam (appeal to ignorance)• Cool cabbage compresses… for long periods… diminish milk • Confusing association with causation• Breast Feeding Nazi: “Put cabbage on your breast to dry up”
    42. 42. LOGICAL FALLACIES•I know it sounds weird but… put cabbage… on your breasts • Argumentum ad Ignorantiam (appeal to ignorance)• Cool cabbage compresses… for long periods… diminish milk • Confusing association with causation• Breast Feeding Nazi: “Put cabbage on your breast to dry up” • Argument from authority
    43. 43. REMEMBER:BE SKEPTICAL NOT CYNICAL
    44. 44. WHAT ABOUT RUBY?
    45. 45. WHAT ABOUT RUBY?
    46. 46. SKEPTICS MAKEBETTER PROGRAMMERS
    47. 47. WE KNOW THIS Think about optimizations
    48. 48. PROGRAMMING FALLACIES
    49. 49. PROGRAMMING FALLACIES• That [language construct] shouldn’t be used because it’s [evil]
    50. 50. PROGRAMMING FALLACIES• That [language construct] shouldn’t be used because it’s [evil] • Argument from final consequences (teleological)
    51. 51. PROGRAMMING FALLACIES• That [language construct] shouldn’t be used because it’s [evil] • Argument from final consequences (teleological)• [Some tool] is better than [other tool]
    52. 52. PROGRAMMING FALLACIES• That [language construct] shouldn’t be used because it’s [evil] • Argument from final consequences (teleological)• [Some tool] is better than [other tool] • The toupee fallacy (counting hits and ignoring misses)
    53. 53. PROGRAMMING FALLACIES• That [language construct] shouldn’t be used because it’s [evil] • Argument from final consequences (teleological)• [Some tool] is better than [other tool] • The toupee fallacy (counting hits and ignoring misses)• We rewrote it in [language] and now it is [amazing]
    54. 54. PROGRAMMING FALLACIES• That [language construct] shouldn’t be used because it’s [evil] • Argument from final consequences (teleological)• [Some tool] is better than [other tool] • The toupee fallacy (counting hits and ignoring misses)• We rewrote it in [language] and now it is [amazing] • Confusing association with causation
    55. 55. THE CULTURE OF TESTING
    56. 56. I TESTProof available upon request
    57. 57. THE ONLY WAY
    58. 58. WE ALWAYS DO IT
    59. 59. THAT’S HOWTHE EXPERTS DO IT
    60. 60. IS THIS STILL POSITIVE?
    61. 61. WHO DO WE WANT TO BECOME?
    62. 62. MY ANSWER:I WANT US TO BE A CULTURETHAT REASONS TOGETHER
    63. 63. ZED SHAW
    64. 64. *F* HIM!
    65. 65. *F* HIM!Did I mention DHH?
    66. 66. WHAT’S NEXT?
    67. 67. THE GHOST OFKEYNOTES FUTUREPhoto from http://www.flickr.com/photos/oreillyconf/4682679962/
    68. 68. OBIE’S KEYNOTE Image from http://lonestarrubyconf.com/
    69. 69. CHAD’S KEYNOTE Image from http://lonestarrubyconf.com/
    70. 70. TOPIC UNKNOWN Image from http://lonestarrubyconf.com/
    71. 71. REALSOFTWARE ENGINEERING
    72. 72. Glenn can and should give his Real Software Engineering talk,essentially unchanged, at basically any conference thatll have him. Its a fantastic talk,and its just as valuable the third time youve seen it as the first. Ben Scofield to the RubyConf Organizers mailing list
    73. 73. GLENN’S JOKE
    74. 74. I do think software is… in some respects, a science.Glenn Vanderburg in Real Software Engineering
    75. 75. MY JOKE
    76. 76. WE WANT MORE SCIENCE!
    77. 77. WE WANT MORE SCIENCE!
    78. 78. REFRESHER: THE SCIENTIFIC METHOD• You start by making observations• This leads you to form a hypothesis• You try to prove yourself wrong• You submit the idea for peer review• We always go forward with the best understanding we currently have
    79. 79. BE OBSERVANT
    80. 80. A HYPOTHESISMUST BE FALSIFIABLE…
    81. 81. … AND MAKE USEFULPREDICTIONS ABOUT THE FUTURE
    82. 82. AIM FOR WRONG, NOT RIGHT
    83. 83. A JURY OF YOUR PEERS
    84. 84. KNOWLEDGE IS ALWAYS UP FOR REVISION
    85. 85. REAL SCIENCE• It’s messy• It doesn’t only happen in labs• It’s for everyone• It’s imperfect by definition, but self-correcting
    86. 86. Science is the best thingthat humanity has ever come up with. And if it isnt, then science will fix it. Bill Nye the Science Guy
    87. 87. WE ARE DOING SCIENCE Great news!
    88. 88. AGILE DEVELOPMENTHELPS US MAKE PREDICTIONS ABOUT THE PROJECT
    89. 89. TESTING IS HOW WE TRYTO PROVE CODE WRONG
    90. 90. GITHUB AND BLOGGING ARE HOW WE HANDLE PEER REVIEW
    91. 91. RECENT INSPIRATIONS• Avdi Grimm’s Vituous Code blog and Exceptional Ruby book• Aaron Patterson’s improvements to Rails• GregoryBrown’s Ruby Mendicant University and Practicing Ruby essays
    92. 92. MY LATEST EFFORT http://rubyrogues.com/
    93. 93. MORE OF THIS, PLEASE!
    94. 94. MY HOPE:THAT WE PUT THE SCIENCEBACK IN COMPUTER SCIENCE
    95. 95. WHAT SHOULD WE DO?
    96. 96. REIMAGINEDOCUMENTATION
    97. 97. RDOC ISN’T ENOUGH
    98. 98. WHAT ABOUTTUTORIALS OR Q&A?
    99. 99. YARD IS JUST RDOC++
    100. 100. WHERE’S THE RUBYOF DOCUMENTATION?
    101. 101. EXPAND PAIRING
    102. 102. SYSTEMS ARE HUGE
    103. 103. PROGRAMMERS SPECIALIZE
    104. 104. BUSINESS NEEDS VERSES TALENT
    105. 105. WHAT IF WE COULDSHARE A LOT MORE?
    106. 106. YOUR IDEA HERE!
    107. 107. ONE MORE THING…
    108. 108. YOU CAN HELP Science says so
    109. 109. ASCH PARADIGMImage from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asch_conformity_experiments
    110. 110. 75% CONFORMTO WRONG IDEAS
    111. 111. BUT JUSTONE DISSENTER…
    112. 112. YOU CAN CHANGE OUR COMMUNITY!
    113. 113. THANK YOU
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