Trials and triumphs of being breadwinner mom and at home dad


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Pew Research’s latest report on Breadwinner Moms reveal how conflicted we remain, when it comes to the impact of Breadwinner Moms and Stay-at-Home Dads on the home front. While most folks are not advocating men and women to revert to traditional roles, the majority of Americans worry that the rise of working women have made it harder for marriages to succeed, and for parents to raise children.

The Breadwinner Moms and At-Home Dads we’re following for the Big Flip often express conflicted feelings as well. Here’s a glimpse at the rewards and challenges they feel day-to-day, in their own words.

Go to our website ( to learn more about our documentary on breadwinner wives and their families.

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  • Had to come back to say: You ROCK dads! Having been a stay-at-home mom I can tell everyone that it IS a JOB with capital letters!! Probably the toughest & most rewarding one on the planet. Thanksless but REWARDING! Hope you didn't get the response I got (40 years ago) when I applied for a part-time job as the kids grew older. I will BET that man NEVER again asked any woman 'what she had done for the last 10 years that counted' though :-). I explained multitasking, no rest breaks, stretching budgets, the importance of school & sports volunteers, etc. I believe he went to hide after our interview BUT he DID hire me! My grandchildren LOVE having their Daddy at home. He is a FABULOUS Dad & they had an INCREDIBLE Mom. You will notice the impact you have made when dating comes & THEIR dads have made an incredible male impact on their lives.
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  • I am so happy that this story is being shared. This is awesome! The Yoders are my daughter, son-in-law & grandchildren. I admire and respect that they were brave enough to choose this solution to parenting. It was not so popular when they did so. They are both wonderful, loving parents who were brave enough to choose what was right for their them & their very luck, very wonderful kids. BRAVO!!
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Trials and triumphs of being breadwinner mom and at home dad

  1. 1. “Being the main income earner feelsnatural to me. Im a veryindependent person. I always knewthat I was going to have a job andmake my own money, regardless ofwhether I got married. I never hadthese expectations that a man wouldtake care of me.”Gianina, Project Manager in the music industry andBreadwinner Mom, in Sherman Oaks, California© All Rights
  2. 2. “Ive seen other moms who pick theirkids up from ballet. Or picking their kidsup from soccer practice after school.And realized, wow, that is just not in thecards for me. Im not going to be thatmom. Im not in a position to have thatfreedom to decide. There are things thatIm going to miss out on with the boys.”© All Rights ReservedBigFlipDocumentary.comGianina, Project Manager in the music industry and Breadwinner Mom, in Sherman Oaks, California
  3. 3. “Ive always tried to be very mindful of not making him feelless because he doesnt bring in as much financially.”Gianina, Project Manager in the music industry and Breadwinner Mom, in Sherman Oaks, California© All Rights
  4. 4. “I have no problem with men in general taking care ofchildren. My son, being his mother, I want him to be allthat he can be. I would like to see him have all the timehe wants and needs to achieve whatever he wants.”© All Rights ReservedBigFlipDocumentary.comNancy, Mother of At-Home Dad Chris, in Sherman Oaks, California
  5. 5. “Growing up I had all these male role modelsthat were kind of mooching off of women.I would see men living off of working women.I didnt want to be that way.”Chris, Editor and At-Home Dad in Sherman Oaks, California© All Rights
  6. 6. “I do look forward to a time when I can return to the workforce. Help out with allthe bills. We need money for college. For the savings fund that we are not doinganything about right now. And my self respect is tied up in that.”Chris, Editor and At-Home Dad in Sherman Oaks, California© All Rights
  7. 7. “Staying at home, doing all the laundry, cooking, taking thekids to the park and the playroom and sweeping up thefloor and doing all the dishes, staying up till 2 in themorning a lot of the time—thats a job. I dont care if peoplethink that Im not doing my part. Because that is a job.”© All Rights ReservedBigFlipDocumentary.comChris, Editor and At-Home Dad in Sherman Oaks, California
  8. 8. “The first time I got [my babygirl] Sam to drink out of a bottle,Robyn had to go to work and Ihad to get her fed. But Samwouldnt do a bottle. And I satthere for an hour and a half. Andwhen she finally latched on andstarted doing it, I probably criedfor about five minutes.”© All Rights ReservedFred, Champion Snowboarder and At-Home Dad in Seattle
  9. 9. “In the moment it can be reallystressful. You miss what youused to do. You want to haveadult conversation. But as timegoes by, you look back on it, andthats when you get the radsensation, like, ‘Wow!’ Living inthe future— thats the payoff. Itskind of tough while itshappening. Just suck it up.Its going to pay off in thelong run.”Fred, Champion Snowboarder andAt-Home Dad in Seattle© All Rights
  10. 10. “It’s tough to find personal time.I feel like Im away from the kidsall day, so I want to be with them.I feel guilty if I take extra timeaway to hang out with girlfriendsor myself.”Robyn, Software Brand Expert andBreadwinner Mom in Seattle© All Rights
  11. 11. “I really appreciate the fact that when I go off towork, I dont have to rush them off to daycare.Especially when they were babies, the idea ofwaking them up just to take them to daycare, youknow... Now they can just be with Fred.”Robyn, Software Brand Expert andBreadwinner Mom in Seattle© All Rights
  12. 12. “I really struggled when I wason maternity leave and it wastime to go back to work. Iliked my job, but I loved beingwith my babies. But I didnthave a choice. Anyway,theres only so much timewhere it makes sense to sitaround and be sad about that.You just have to get back onthe horse and ride it.”© All Rights ReservedBigFlipDocumentary.comRobyn, Software Brand Expert and Breadwinner Mom in Seattle
  13. 13. “There were going to be things that Fredand I would have to work through thatwere really paths that none of my friendshad ever ventured down, and we wouldjust have to learn as we go.”Robyn, Software Brand Expert and Breadwinner Mom in Seattle© All Rights
  14. 14. “We made that decision that I wouldpull myself out of doing shows andrunning this theater company. If wetry to hire a babysitter, were going togo broke for me to do shows where Imbarely making any money. Plus wereally didnt want to entrust the firstyears of our sons life to someone thatwe didnt know.”Ross, Actor and At-Home Dad in Los Angeles© All Rights
  15. 15. “I never thought about it as beingthe breadwinner. I like what I do.I am really type A and impatient.It would be really, really hard forme to stay at home. Ross isinfinitely more patient.”Julee, director at a children’s museum andBreadwinner Mom in Los Angeles© All Rights
  16. 16. “Well, Ive never had a huge problemwith the idea of being in the momcircle. Ive got a lot of female friends.And I was raised by a single mom.”Ross, Actor and At-Home Dad in Los Angeles© All Rights
  17. 17. “We love Los Angeles. This is a much bigger, more diverse city than the onethat we were in. And from the one that we both grew up in. We wantedour son Ryder to have more opportunities to meet people of different races,different colors, different languages.”Julee, director at a children’s museum and Breadwinner Mom, and Ross, Actor and At-Home Dad, in Los Angeles© All Rights
  18. 18. “We want to model to [our son]Ryder that life is about choices.That you choose what you thinkis going to be most rewarding. Weneeded to show him that we werewilling to—even if it meant risk—make decisions that were going tomake us happiest, and not necessarilythe ones that were just easiest.”© All Rights ReservedBigFlipDocumentary.comJulee, Breadwinner Mom, and Ross, At-Home Dad, in L.A.
  19. 19. Visit us atBigFlipDocumentary.comto sign up for our mailing list andfind out more about our documentary