1. LET’STALKABOUT&SEXUALITY GENDERA guide for friends & family of LGBT *QIA individuals.
2. GENDER A person’s sex, gender identity & gender expression may vary. / Sex does not equal gender. Gender Identity Gender is how individuals interpret and view themselves. A person may identify with the gender theyGender were assigned at birth (cis-gender), or theyExpression may identify differently (transgender).Gender expression ishow individuals presentthemselves in terms ofsociety’s ideals Sexof “masculine” Sex refers toand “feminine.” the biological characteristicsAn individual may of a person’s body.present as feminine,masculine, neutral, The sexes are male,or a combination. female, and intersex.
3. Gender, gender identity & sexGENDER exist on a spectrum. Sex Male Intersex Female Gender Expression Masculine Androgynous/ Feminine Neutral Gender Identity Man Genderqueer/ Woman Genderfluid/ Neutral-gender Agender/Genderless
4. There are a variety of trans*GENDER & gender variant identities. These are a few common words to know. Agender A person does not identify with any gender. Androgyne A person with traits ascribed to both males and females. Bigender A person identifies as two genders, whether simultaneously or in turn. Cisgender A person identifies with the gender they were assigned at birth. Genderfluid A person has a shifting or changing gender identity or expression. Genderqueer A person has a gender identity or expression that falls outside of the societal norm for their assigned sex. Intersex A person who has sex characteristics that are neither entirely male nor female. (Note: Intersex is not a gender identity, it is a sex.) Neutrois A person is neutral-gender. Transgender/Trans* A person has a gender identity that does not match their gender assigned at birth. Transsexual A person that has a gender identity that does not match their sex assigned at birth.
5. Be a trans* ally & help fightGENDER transphobia & cissexism. 1 Use the term cisgender when refering to non-trans* individuals, rather than transphobic words like “normal,” which imply trans* individuals are abnormal, weird, ill, or broken. 2 Do not use transphobic slurs, such as “tranny” or “shemale.” These words are intended to insult and harm trans* individuals. 3 Always use the name any individual gives you. Do not ask someone what their “real” name is. (Their desired name is their real name.) 4 Always use the desired pronouns of an individual. If you are unsure which pronoun to use, politely and privately ask the individual what their prefered pronouns are. 5 Do not claim someone’s gender identity is false, nonexistent, immoral, or a result of an illness or trauma. 6 Do not ask questions regarding someone’s anatomy, or question if they have transitioned or will be transitioning in the future. 7 Do not ask to see photographs of a person before they transitioned. Likewise, do not ask invasive, personal questions of a person regarding their life before they transitioned. 8 Never out a trans* individual to others. Likewise, do not ask others if “so-and-so is transgender.” 9 Do not assume an individual’s sexual orientation due to their trans* identity.
6. Sexuality is an aspect of an individual’s SEXUALITY identity composed of sex, gender, romantic & sexual attractions, and sexual practice. Gender Identity Gender is how individuals interpret and view themselves. Romantic Attraction Romantic attraction refers to which gender or genders individuals are romantically interested in. SexualSexual AttractionPractice Sexual attraction refers to which gender or gendersSexual praactice refers individuals are sexuallyto the the ways in which interested in.individuals sexuallyexpresses themselves. SexThis can include fetishes, Sex refers to the biologicalnumber of partners, characteristics of afrequency of sex, etc.. person’s body.
7. SEXUALITY There are romantic & sexual orientations / Sexuality is fluid & exists on a spectrum. For those who have romantic attractions that differ from their sexual attractions (such as Orientation asexuals who are romantically attracted to others), the use of Romantic Sexual a romantic orientation helps to Orientation Orientation specify their sexuality. For such individuals, their orientation is composed of a romantic orientation and a sexual orientation. Sexual Attraction/Orientation Straight Bisexual/ Gay Pansexual Asexual Romantic Attraction/Orientation Heteroromantic Biromantic/ Homoromantic Panromantic Aromantic
8. There are a variety ofSEXUALITY sexual orientations and identities. These are 9 common orientations to know. Asexual A person does not experience sexual attraction to any gender or sex. Bisexual A person experiences sexual attraction to two or more genders or sexes. Demisexual A person can only experiences sexual attraction after an emotional bond is formed. Gray-Asexual A person rarely experiences sexual attraction to any gender or sex. Heterosexual/Straight A person is sexually attracted to the opposite gender or sex. Homosexual/Gay/Lebsian A person is sexually attracted to the same gender or sex. Pansexual A person is sexually attracted to individuals regardless of gender or sex. Polysexual A person is sexually attracted to multiple genders or sexes. Queer A person identifies as “non-heteronormative.”
9. Be an ally and help fightSEXUALITY homophobia, biphobia & heterosexism. 1 Do not assume a person’s orientation based on sex, gender, gender expression, race, or personality. 2 Do not use homophobic language or jokes, and challenge those who do. Phrases like “that’s so gay” and “no homo” are hurtful. 3 Do not say a person cannnot be bisexual because they are currently dating or have previously dated a specific gender. 4 Allow others to define their sexuality, and be open and accepting rather than judgmental and accusatory. 5 Do not claim someone’s sexual orientation is false, nonexistent, immoral, or a result of an illness or trauma. 6 Be willing to listen with an open-mind when your friend or family member needs support. 7 Understand that people can change, and that sexuality is fluid. Do not say someone cannot be gay/bisexual/queer/asexual/etc. due to their past identities and relationships. 8 Never out someone. Give the individual the right and respect to decide when to come out. 9 Educate yourself on LGBT*QIA topics, history, and culture. Do not rely on others for information. 10 Do not say or imply someone’s gay/bisexual/queer/asexual/etc. relationship is lesser than a straight relationship. Basically: Take action when required, listen when needed, refrain from judgment, be open to all relationships, accept when you are hurtful or wrong, and believe that all individuals are deserving of respect and love.