Understanding Adolescence<br />From a parent’s point of view<br />By: MPs. IvánJirón Beirute<br />www.ivanjiron.com<br />
Adolescence is…<br />Not a biological process, but a cultural one.<br />Different for every family.<br />Different for eve...
How does it works?<br />Starting with childhood, the children gets a world view from the standpoint of their parents, and ...
How does it works?<br />Adjustments include:<br />They way they see the world.<br />The way they see themselves.<br />The ...
How does it works?<br />By changing the way they relate to the world, anxiety is born.<br />www.ivanjiron.com<br />
What About Teenage Anxiety?<br />As our children grow they get in touch with several social scenarios, everyone of them wi...
What About Teenage Anxiety?<br />Therefore Parental Stand point is of no use when trying to figure out a way to walk in th...
Consequences(how does it affect my child)<br />During this whole period your child will:<br />Look for new perspectives (t...
Consequences (how does it affect my child)<br />Push limits. (but mom tell me why – with no possible explanation they will...
Hot Topic # 1: Discipline<br />Consistency.<br />Clear Expectations.<br />Never establish a consequence with a hot head.<b...
Hot Topic # 1: Discipline<br />Never establish a consequence will not have the heart to do.<br />Never disregard a consequ...
Hot Topic # 2: Sexuality<br />Do not overrate the topic.<br />Try to handle as natural as possible.<br />Base the conversa...
Hot Topic # 2: Sexuality<br />Listen, don’t judge.<br />When expressing your opinion do it in terms of “silly questions/st...
Hot Topic # 3: Friends<br />Whenever possible, try not to judge your child’s friends (remember you never understand them)....
Hot Topic # 3: Friends<br />As for “actual privacy” it is only necessary for the moments your child is alone, prefer to ha...
MPs. IvánJirón Beirute<br />www.ivanjiron.com<br />Cel:  (506)8866-2802<br />
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Understanding adolescence

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This is a presentation I used on a CDS Costa Rica Parent Meeting. For more information, please log on www.ivanjiron.com

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Understanding adolescence

  1. 1. Understanding Adolescence<br />From a parent’s point of view<br />By: MPs. IvánJirón Beirute<br />www.ivanjiron.com<br />
  2. 2. Adolescence is…<br />Not a biological process, but a cultural one.<br />Different for every family.<br />Different for every person.<br />A Process in life where the children get ready for becoming adults<br />www.ivanjiron.com<br />
  3. 3. How does it works?<br />Starting with childhood, the children gets a world view from the standpoint of their parents, and other meaningful characters.<br />They process their world through their bodies (using their senses)<br />With Puberty, their bodies start having changes, thus adjustments need to be made.<br />www.ivanjiron.com<br />
  4. 4. How does it works?<br />Adjustments include:<br />They way they see the world.<br />The way they see themselves.<br />The way they see themselves facing this new world<br />They also have to deal with expectations (both personal, and social).<br />www.ivanjiron.com<br />
  5. 5. How does it works?<br />By changing the way they relate to the world, anxiety is born.<br />www.ivanjiron.com<br />
  6. 6. What About Teenage Anxiety?<br />As our children grow they get in touch with several social scenarios, everyone of them with different rules and points of view.<br />Parental Point of view become the base to which they need to contrast everything they learn “outside”.<br /><ul><li>Anxiety is an uncomfortable feeling we get for no apparent or obvious reason.</li></ul>www.ivanjiron.com<br />
  7. 7. What About Teenage Anxiety?<br />Therefore Parental Stand point is of no use when trying to figure out a way to walk in the world… it is the scheme they are trying to overcome. <br />New points of reference are needed:<br />Peers<br />Other Adults<br />Social Icons and Role models<br />Social Networks and groups<br />Subculture movements <br />Boyfriends / girlfriends<br />www.ivanjiron.com<br />
  8. 8. Consequences(how does it affect my child)<br />During this whole period your child will:<br />Look for new perspectives (the other perspective will always be the right one and you never understand).<br />Press on comparison to establish viability and validity of a position/idea/principle/value. (the other parents are always better, and more comprehensive).<br />Joggle between privacy and self awareness, and sociability and dependence of other people (“this party is THE MOST important event ever”… “I’d rather be dead than miss this event”)<br />www.ivanjiron.com<br />
  9. 9. Consequences (how does it affect my child)<br />Push limits. (but mom tell me why – with no possible explanation they will accept)<br />Constantly slapping our inconsistencies at our faces. (how come you and dad can and I don’t)<br />Aiming to find breaches in our arguments. <br />Lack of clarity between what’s desirable and what is good. <br />Extreme concern about being accepted by the group (which is basically a way to be different along with similar people)<br />www.ivanjiron.com<br />
  10. 10. Hot Topic # 1: Discipline<br />Consistency.<br />Clear Expectations.<br />Never establish a consequence with a hot head.<br />Never leave an announced consequence without effect.<br />www.ivanjiron.com<br />
  11. 11. Hot Topic # 1: Discipline<br />Never establish a consequence will not have the heart to do.<br />Never disregard a consequence put by your partner/spouse/significant other, either negotiate or respect it.<br />Base Discipline on values as opposed to specific rules.<br />www.ivanjiron.com<br />
  12. 12. Hot Topic # 2: Sexuality<br />Do not overrate the topic.<br />Try to handle as natural as possible.<br />Base the conversation on the information your kid already has.<br />NEVER underestimate your child’s knowledge.<br />www.ivanjiron.com<br />
  13. 13. Hot Topic # 2: Sexuality<br />Listen, don’t judge.<br />When expressing your opinion do it in terms of “silly questions/statements”.<br />Talk about sexuality in first person.<br />www.ivanjiron.com<br />
  14. 14. Hot Topic # 3: Friends<br />Whenever possible, try not to judge your child’s friends (remember you never understand them).<br />Express your concerns in terms of silly questions or statements.<br />Get them close to you, but remember they are NOT your friends.<br />www.ivanjiron.com<br />
  15. 15. Hot Topic # 3: Friends<br />As for “actual privacy” it is only necessary for the moments your child is alone, prefer to have them in the public areas of your house.<br />When establishing limits to your child’s relationships do so according to your family values.<br />www.ivanjiron.com<br />
  16. 16. MPs. IvánJirón Beirute<br />www.ivanjiron.com<br />Cel: (506)8866-2802<br />

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