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A Bojanglin' Affair: A Trailer Park Challenge
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A Bojanglin' Affair: A Trailer Park Challenge

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Good Times had by all …

Good Times had by all

DISCLAIMER: Actual good time ratio may vary.

Published in: Entertainment & Humor

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  • 1. A Bojanglin Affair – A TPCChapter 1
  • 2. So were gonna do a little something different here.Everyone, this is Eliza Bojangles. Eliza is a Libra, 0/8/3/8/6 to be exact, and a Popularitysim who just wants to be friends with everyone, yall.So what is a Trailer Park challenge exactly? Theres a lot of rules, which can be read onthe journal of the amazing Fuzzy_Spork, but the main ones boil down to this...
  • 3. You must start out in a 6x20 trailer, like so. Every room must have a window, and theoriginal walls cannot be broken down. All walls must be covered, because unpaintedthings are just tacky, guys.The challenge runs four generations. The heir + 3 more generations after that, until the3rdheir is an adult. Any child raised from an infant is qualified for heir, including children of“questionable” parentage, alien spawn, and adopted babies. Knowledge sims however,are disqualified, because they have to escape their upbringing.
  • 4. Theres a lot more rules that Ill cover as I go along, but for now, Eliza here hasdiscovered the joys of tub pirating, which is good, because Im pretty sure she has about6 dollars to her name after building, so shes not getting that big screen any time soon.“Yeow! I aint had this much fun since I graduated middle school!”
  • 5. “Erm, nice lady, you forgots to build me a table. I cant eat my balanced breakfast ofcount chocula standin yknow? This is gonna be real hard when Im pushin out all themkidlets I plan on havin!”Look, I barely even afforded you the first bathroom and now you want me to.. *checksbank account* oh fine.
  • 6. “See, aint that much better? Now I can read my paper. Oh, look, I got a job as a burgerflipper.”Lucky she is, because thats one of the three, count them, three careers youre allowed inthis challenge. Our folks arent educated, and as such, the careers you can have areculinary, up to level 4, slacker, up to level 4, and criminal, up to level 3. Criminal howeveris restricted by several things, which well cover later, so ignore that one for now.
  • 7. “Hey honey, you look new in town. I thought Id just introduce myself as the leader of thelocal garden club and.. erm, when is the last time youve gone through the yard with alawnmower?”“Whats a lawnmower?”
  • 8. “Well, I dont think Ill be coming back over here anytime soon.”“SHUT UP”
  • 9. Finally the welcome wagon comes along, which consists of your usually garbled mess ofbadly dressed apartment life citizens.“Haha, you look like you got dressed in the dark, lady!”“Haha, yeah, I do.. aww, I made myself sad.”
  • 10. There was a few eligible bachelors in the group, but none of them seemed to have anylong term potential with Eliza for being a baby daddy/future husband.“Ive seen better.”“Yeah, well, you aint such a catch yourself. Ive seen better lookin things in a mudhole.”
  • 11. Of course, that luck all changes when that evening, a fellow by the name of Nery walksby.“Hey there, cute stuff!”“Heh. Pretty lady.”
  • 12. “You think Im pretty, for real? My mommy always said I was, but she said all 8 of us girlswere.”“Well, I mean, you have nice pretty hair. And two beautiful, bouncy, firm.. eyes. Yeah,thats where I was going with that, eyes.”
  • 13. “I didnt know eyes could bounce, but I guess you learn something knew every day. Ohman, Nery, youre giving me butterflies!”“Those are actually butterflies, but I appreciate the sentiment all the same.”
  • 14. “So, the sun is going down, think I should probably get going. Thanks for the lovelyevening, lady I barely know, guess Ill see you around?”“Oh, youre so romantic.”This is about the point where Nery should be getting the heeby jeebies, because Elizahas Level 3 Clinger mode, but this is a trailer park, so not only is this allowed, but it isencouraged!
  • 15. The next day rolls around, and Nery is back around right after dawn.“Oh, I missed you so much.”“I assumed youd be asleep most of the time?...”“You were in my dreams!”
  • 16. I wish every guy who encountered a clingy girl decided to serenade them, because ifthats how shit worked, Id be married by now.I got issues, yall.
  • 17. Apparently a romantic song is all that was needed to seal the deal, because Eliza andNery headed straight to bed after that.I have the following hacks installed for this challenge -ACRLarger HouseholdsInteen, because its the south, guys.
  • 18. “Hey, do you think we should have used some sort of protection?”“Dont worry, Ill douche with coke in a minute. My older sister always told me that tookcare of everything for her in between her five pregnancies.”Rule – All heirs/spouses of heirs must have shotgun weddings and be noticeably pregnantat the alter. Bonus points if they give birth while the party is still going!
  • 19. Judging by the smile on Elizas face, we are well on our way to succeeding on that front.The only true birth control is abstinence, yall.
  • 20. Well, the children will be cute, at least, and considering Nery is a secret blonde, weshould get some variety. Now would someone please pick up all the garbage thats layingaround in the house.“Not me, I have to leave. As quickly as possible without saying goodbye.”“Yeah, and not me, I gotta go do something.”
  • 21. “HURRRGGGH. Guess thats what I get for eating old hot dogs. Momma always said ifits out for more than 2 days, its no good.”
  • 22. “Good news, they said if I start showering, I can work the drive through at work now!”Wow, youre a go getter. Congrats.
  • 23. This is where I learned that this is going to be a ROUGH 4 pregnancies. Eliza spent mostof the 3 days sleeping, eating, and verging very closely to death.RULE – Each generation must have 4 pregancies, be it alien, from an affair, or standard.Twins only count as a single pregancy.
  • 24. “Hey, Nery, I think you should come over.. What do you mean, you moved to Tennessee,I”m calling you on the same number! Stop lying and get over here.”
  • 25. “Well, you made the drive at least. Whats Tennessee like, anyway?”“Its a lot like two down the blocks from here, honestly. Okay, Im gonna be real, it is twodown the blocks from here.”“Wow, thats crazy, I thought we were in Alabama.”
  • 26. “I dont get why you invited me over here just to see your new couch, couldnt you havedescribed it to me over the phone? I would think that would suffice enough.”“Well really, theres another reason I invited you over here, Im just thinking of the rightway to put it..”
  • 27. “Thats a good way to do it. Nery, Im pregnant.”
  • 28. “Crap. Im never leaving, am I.”“Nope!”
  • 29. At least itll be nice to have another person around to clean. Yeesh, Im starting to regretthose 0 neat points.
  • 30. “Mmm, tastes like green. Hey, say, where did Nery go?”Oh, hes out back. Running. Very quickly.
  • 31. “Haha, youre so funny Nery, pretending to run off like that. You know we agreed youdmove in, you know, so we could get married before the baby is born.”“Heh. Yeah.”
  • 32. Nery brought all of 1000 simoleans which we spend on right away on a tv and a crib,almost nothing in his inventory, and is a fast food shift manage.. hey, wait, isnt Elizaworking the drive-thru?Oh. OH. I see how it is.That being said, now that Nerys here making money, Eliza has quit her job, to do her truecalling as pregant and barefoot housewife.RULE – Only one adult in the household may hold a job. Teens and elders may not work.
  • 33. The days leading up to the wedding were very uneventful, for the most part. Eliza slept alot.
  • 34. Every now and then shed become lucid enough to grab Nery for a good makeoutsession.
  • 35. And then would proceed right back to whatever it was she was doing. In this case,sleeping on the cold, cold wooden floor.
  • 36. Somewhere in there she managed to stand up for long enough to pop into her thirdtrimester, which means we have to get to work. Gotta make an honest woman out ofEliza, yall.
  • 37. How much help has Nery been through this horrible ordeal of a pregancy?None. None at all.
  • 38. “So, just thought Id let you know, I called some people over and were getting marriedtomorrow as soon as they get here.”“I didnt even know we were engaged?”
  • 39. “We are now. Ouch, my bladder.”“Im going to bed. Clean that puddle up.”
  • 40. The next day, the party guests arrive. Comprised of this lady.
  • 41. And these people.Look, it still counts.
  • 42. It counts even more considering we managed to scrounge up the 135 big ones neededfor the keg of “fruit punch”.RULE – All founders and heirs must have a wedding party, complete with a fruit punchkeg. Its not a party without booze.
  • 43. Shortly after the timer started, I figured out Eliza was a step from passing out again, so Ihad a quick shotgun wedding in the kitchen, since we dont have enough money for anarch. With that, Nery is now Nery Bojangles, and our first official spouse.“I guess life could be worse.”“Hey, did I tell you theres mold growing in our bathroom?”“Crap.”
  • 44. Eliza proceeded to spend the rest of her own wedding party sleeping, which somehowqualified it as a “Good Time”, despite her night terrors.“.. zzspiderszzzz..”
  • 45. For those care, here is the after party damage. And some bills.Also pictures: Tosha, glaring at me for playing someone that isnt her, and Nery, in usualspot.. on the couch.
  • 46. Approximately an hour and a half after the timer ends, Eliza gets up, pees her pants, andgoes into labor.“Ouch.”
  • 47. Since Im dumb and forgot to turn off cinematics, heres the aftermath.This is Skyla Bojangles, firstborn of our challenge! Shes S3.5, has brown eyes like hermother, and her fathers secret blonde hair. My naming theme is the trashiest names I canthink of. Because only someone in a trailer would name their child Skyla.
  • 48. Nery decided that the birth of his first child would be a great time to take a nap.Im starting to sense a trend here.
  • 49. “Maybe daddy aint paying you much attention right now Skyla, but dont worry. Mommaloves you.”Who said trailer upbringings werent loving? Thats one happy mommy right there.
  • 50. As much as I wanted to get Eliza pregnant again right away, the next few days were spentin “recover” mode, eating and sleeping as much as possible now that her needs arentplummeting in fast forward.
  • 51. Some 12 odd hours later, Nery finally manages to acknowledge that he is in fact a father.“Oh. Its crying.”
  • 52. “Look, come on, will you please stop? I dont understand what you want. And whats thatsmell? I wish your mother would wake up to take care of this.”
  • 53. “Look, just eat, I dont know what else you could possible want. Geeze, it smells likesomeone took a dump in here.”
  • 54. “Maybe itll smell less if I clean. This place is just filthy, why doesnt Eliza do anything?”Oh, Nery.
  • 55. I keep Nery on cleaning and baby duty for the next day or so, because Eliza is taking amuch deserved break from doing things.
  • 56. Including paying bills. Whoops.
  • 57. Thankfully, Skyla is blissfully unaware of the currently repossessed couch, and will remainso, as we replace it with what little money we do have. We have to keep on these things,but man, bills are for sissies.
  • 58. “So, Nery, I was thinking, dont you think little Eliza is gonna be lonely if shes our onlykid? Maybe we should start trying for another.”“Er, sure, whatever, can we do it now?”Try 1 resulted in no lullabye, and Im starting to wonder if its a blessing. But we have toget these 4 pregancies.
  • 59. Theres going to be room in the house for another baby as well, since its Skylas birthdayalready. Not a lot to take pictures of early in the challenge, so time goes by pretty quick.
  • 60. Oh great, shes way too adorable to be stuck in this trailer. Such is life, though.
  • 61. Litte Skyla is a good mix of her parents, though I can say with 90% certainty that I thinkthat is daddys potato nose. That thing persists, I can say from experience.
  • 62. Do not let the smile fool you, however, shes a Gemini, with a personality of 2/8/9/6/1. Iforgot to mention that Nery is a default Libra, so shes a bit of a mutant on nice points, orlack there-of
  • 63. Well end the chapter with Nery looking pretty smug that he has yet again managed toevade conceiving another child. Mostly because this is as far as I have played.Great. We have to do this 3 more times, dude!*sigh*See you around, yall!