FUNNY THINGS TO SAY TO GIRLIm not drunk, Im just intoxicated by you.I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need yourname and number for insurance purposes.If beauty were time, youd be eternity.If I were a stop light, Id turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.Youd better direct that beauty somewhere else, youll set the carpet on fire.If I received a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, Id have five cents.For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, andheaven has been brought to me.Sorry, but you owe me a drink. [Why?] Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine.You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?Can I have directions? [To where?] To your heart.Do you have a BandAid? I just scraped my knee falling for you.Be unique and different, say yes.Do you have a map? Im getting lost in your eyes.Fascinating. Ive been looking at your eyes all night long, cause Ive never seen such dark eyes withso much light in them.Most people like to watch the Olympics, because they only happen once every 4 years, but Id rather
talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone so special only happens once in a lifetime.Youre so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.You shouldnt wear makeup. Its messing with perfection!If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, Id have a galaxy in my hand.If a thousand painters worked for a thousand years, they could not create a work of art as beautifulas you.You know youre in love when you cant fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.Damn, if being sexy was a crime, youd be guilty as charged!I was wondering if you had an extra heart mine seems to have been stolenSmoking is hazardous to your health... and baby, youre killing me!There isnt a word in the dictionary for how good you look.Me without you is like a nerd without braces, A shoe without laces, aSentenceWithoutSpacesIs there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?When Im older, Ill look back at all of my crowning memories, and Ill think of the day my childrenwere born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.Are you from Tennessee? Because youre the only ten I see!I must be a snowflake, because Ive fallen for you.Are you an interior decorator? When i saw you the room became beautiful.
There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesnt have your number in it.Baby, if you were words on a page, youd be what they call FINE PRINT!You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.Do you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the world!You look beautiful today, just like every other day.Excuse me, but I think I dropped something. MY JAW!If you were a booger Id pick you first.Do you know what I did last night? I looked up at the stars, and matched each one with a reason whyI love you.Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Oh wait, its just a sparkle.If I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.Are you lost maam? Because heaven is a long way from here.Im fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.My love for you is like diarrhea, I just cant hold it in.Hello, Im a thief, and Im here to steal your heart.Hey baby youre so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-whats your name?
I bet you $20 youre gonna turn me down.Im not actually this tall. Im sitting on my wallet.Do you have the time? [Tells you the time] No, the time to write down my number?Would you grab my arm so I can tell my friends Ive been touched by an angel?Hey... Didnt I see your name in the dictionary under "Shazaam!"?Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead tophysical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So for myhealth and yours, JUST SAY YES!I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?Hello are you married? [Yes] Well I didnt hear you say "happily".You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?Hello how are you? [Fine] Hey, I didnt ask you how you looked!Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.How was heaven when you left it?Did you fart, cause you blew me away.I dont have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?Hey...somebody farted. Lets get out of here.I didnt know that angels could fly so low!There must be something wrong with my eyes, I cant take them off you.You are so fine, I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of you!Is your last name Gillette? Because you are the best a man can get.Is your name "swiffer"? Cause you just swept me off my feet.Excuse me, but you dropped something back there" (What?) "This conversation, lets pick it up latertonight.Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?Are you cold? You look like you could use some hot chocolate... Well, here I am!If stars would fall everytime I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty.Damn, if being sexy was a crime, youd be guilty as charged!You know, Dr. Phil says Im afraid of commitment...Want to help prove him wrong?Your lips look so lonely.... Would they like to meet mine?Baby, youre so sweet, you put Hersheys outta business.Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?So there you are! Ive been looking all over for YOU, the woman of my dreams!Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?Inheriting eighty million bucks doesnt mean much when you have a weak heart.You see my friend over there? [Point to friend] He wants to know if YOU think IM cute.The only thing your eyes havent told me is your name.Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.(As she is leaving) Hey arent you forgetting something? (What?) Me!Somebody better call God, cuz heavens missing an angel!Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the man/woman
of my dreams.Did it hurt? (Did what hurt?) When you fell out of heaven?Im sorry, were you talking to me? [No] Well then, please start.I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.Im new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love.Was you father an alien? Because theres nothing else like you on Earth!What time do you have to be back in heaven?Baby, Im no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!Wouldnt we look cute on a wedding cake together?Your daddy must have been a baker, because youve got a nice set of buns.Your legs must be tired because youve been running through my mind all night.[Point at her ass] Pardon me, is this seat taken?Was your father a thief? Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.[Look at her shirt label.] When they say, "What are you doing?" You respond: "Yep! Made inheaven!"Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, Im lost at sea.You know how they say skin is the largest organ on the human body? Not in my case.My name isnt Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to.You be the Dairy Queen and Ill be your Burger King: You treat me right, and Ill do it your way.(Ask a person for the time) 9:15? So today is May 1, 2008, at 9:15 PM, thanks I just wanted to beable to remember the exact moment that I met the woman of my dreams.Pinch me. [Why?] Youre so fine I must be dreaming.if I had to choose between breathing or loving you, I would say "I love you" with my last breath!Ouch! My tooth hurts! [Why?] Because you are soooo sweet!Im not trying to impress you or anything, but... Im Batman!You must be from Pearl Harbor, because baby, youre the bomb.You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.Do you know karate? Because your body is really kickin.When God made you, he was showing off.You must be a Snickers, because you satisfy me.Are you a parking ticket? Cause youve got fine written all over you.Is your dad a terrorist? Because you are the bomb.Are you religious? Cause you are the answers to all my prayers.Youre like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!Baby, you are so fine I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit.Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure Ive been searching for!You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!Hey, is it just me, or are we destined to be married?Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?I have an "owie" on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?Lets make like a fabric softener and Snuggle
I didnt see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was standing right next to me.Hi, my name is Doug. Thats "god" spelled backwards with a little bit of you wrapped up in it.If I could reach out and hold a star for everytime youve made me smile, Id hold the sky in the palmof my hand.Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?(Put your fingers on the others nipples) Hey, heres (name), comin at you with the weather. Can I beyour warm front?How much does a polar bear weigh? [How much?] Enough to break the ice... Hi, Im (insert namehere).Well, I AM telepathic, and I can tell that you love me. Right? [NO!] Darn, I always get "love" and"lust" mixed up.Should I smile because we are friends, or cry because I know that is what we will ever be?When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.Hey baby. You got a jersey? [A jersey?...Why?] Because I need your name and number.Hello, Im doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines. So, do you pick Do youcome here often?, Whats your sign?, or Hello, Im doing a survey of what people think are thecheesiest pickup lines.?(hold out hand) Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?This time next year let’s be laughing together.Didnt I see you on the cover of Vogue?Excuse me, I dont want you to think Im ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautifulwoman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you.Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!Hey, dont I know you? Yeah, youre the girl with the beautiful smile.Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, wouldyou smile for me?I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.I think I can die happy now, cause Ive just seen a piece of heaven.Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?I sneezed because God blessed me with you.Is it hot in here or is it just you?Nice to meet you, Im (your name) and you are...gorgeous!So, what do you do for a living besides always making all the men excited and warm all over?Was your dad king for a day? He must have been to make a princess like you.Were you arrested earlier? Its gotta be illegal to look that good.Were your parents Greek Gods, cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?Whats that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, its not coming off!Wow! Are those real?Ya know, you look really hot! You must be real reason for global warming.You are the reason men fall in love.
You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!You know, you might be asked to leave soon. Youre making the other women look really bad.You look like my third wife. [how many time have you been married?] Twice.You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.You should be someones wife.Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?I want to be your tear drop, so I could be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.Babe! you look so fine I could drink your bath water!Youre so hot you would make the devil sweat.If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.Excuse me.....Hi, im writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and i was wondering if i couldinterview you...If god made any thing better than you he keep it for him self.Girl, if I were a fly, Id be all over you, because youre the shit!There must be a lightswitch on my forehead because everytime I see you, you turn me on!Hey, how did you do that? (What?) Look so good?Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful thingsin the world.If God made anything more pretty, Im sure hed keep it for himself.You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.You look like a cool glass of refreshing water, and I am the thirstiest man in the world.Are you a tamale? Cause youre hot.You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.Do you want to see a picture of a beautiful person? (hold up a mirror)Do you bleach your teeth? Cause your smile lights up the entire room like a candle in the dark. Letsgo prove it.Your ass is so nice that it is a shame that you have to sit on it.Someone should call the police, because you just stole my heart!Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.Baby, youre so hot, you make the equator look like the north pole.Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.If it werent for that DAMNED sun, youd be the hottest thing ever created.How is your fever? [What fever?] Oh... you just look hot to me.I just got dumped, and I think that you could make me feel better.(Walk up to someone and bite them anywhere) Sorry, taking a bite out of crime. [WHAT?] Well it hasto be illegal to look that good!You are a 9 - youd be a perfect 10 if you were with me.Excuse me, Id like to have kids someday, and I wanted to know how your parents created such abeautiful creature.Youre so hot, I bet you could light a candle at 10 paces.My buddies over there said that I wouldnt be able to start a conversation with the most beautifulgirl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with some of their money?
I cant believe Ive been hear the entire evening with all these beautiful people and the moment Ifind The One, all I have time to say is "good bye".Hey baby, youve got somthing on your butt: my eyes.This isnt a beer belly, Ita a fuel tank for a love machine.I dont know you, but I think I love you already.You know Id like to invite you over, but Im afraid youre so hot youll skyrocket my air-conditioningbill.Heres the key to my house, my car... and my heart.if we shared a garden, Id put my tulips and your tulips together. (tulips = two lips)Is your name Summer? Cause you are as hot as hell.If I had to choose between one night with you or winning the lottery...I would chose winning thelottery...but it would be close...real close...Do you have any sunscreen? Cause you are burning me up!See these keys? I wish I had the one to your heart.Stare at girl . ("Whatre you staring at?")You, Before I Wake Up From this Dream.Youre hotter than donut grease.Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.Are your parents retarded, cause you sure are special.If you could put a price tag on beauty youd be worth more than Fort Knox.I must be dancing with the devil, because youre hot as hell.I never need to see the sun again because your eyes light up my world.If you were a steak you would be well done.Its dark in here. Wait! Its because all of the light is shining on you.Is your name Katrina? [No, why?] Cuz baby, you rock me like a hurricane!Can you pull this heart-shaped arrow out of my butt? A damn little kid with wings shot me.On The PhoneShe/He says: "Hold on"You Say: "Sorry, I cant hold on... Ive already fallen for you."Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.