The Development Of Self-Discipline In Children (139)
The Development Of Self-Discipline In ChildrenThe Young Child is continually withheld from many of his desires by physical limitations. We usebaby gates, fences, locks on doorways and cabinets (restricted places ), cribs, playpens, leashes,and brief commands ("NO!" "yes !"). We carefully watch the actual young child; monitoring what hesees, where he will go, and with whom he associates. These barriers are primarily for the purpose ofprotecting the child from himself - from his own desire to seek his own will prior to an age wheneverhe has knowledge, self-discipline, a fear of the Lord, or help from the actual Holy Spirit to avoid thatwhich is harmful to him or her.The School-Age Child continues to be in bondage under the elements of the world. Gal. 4:threeFoolishness is bound in the heart of a child. Prov. 22 :15a Having foolishness in his heart, he is likelyto act the part of a fool - a fool hath no delight in understanding, but that their heart may discover itself. Prov. 18:2 he or she constantly desires to venture into the actual "department store" of the flesh.There is nothing more dangerous than permitting a child to "discover himself " at this age. Thecoronary heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? Jer. Seventeen:9 Being at the beginning of his "formal training" in self-discipline, he is relatively helpless fromcontrolling his own desires; and also the fleshly nature is regarded as a fascinating friend rather thanobserved to contain no good thing. Rom. 7:eighteen As a parent, you must safeguard him from hisown most detrimental enemy - his flesh, and two other predatory enemies -- the world and thedemon. Childhood is the time to train your son or daughter in preparation for a life of self-denial (Mt.16:24). As parents, you must become an outer boundary that restricts the fleshly nature of the childuntil the time that he has established inner boundaries and has inner help from the Lord. The outsidebarriers must remain well past the crib-stage; the barriers now becoming more directed at the actualspeech and actions (which arise from the thoughts). Growing up gets older, curiosity about theexternal world and his bodys desires increases, and the pull from the inner fleshly nature gets to bemore demanding.There is every indication in the Bible that God expects total psychological (2 Cor. 10:5 ) and physical(1 Cor. 9:27a) self-discipline; the type of discipline that leads one to existing his body as a residingsacrifice (Rom. 12:1 ) and to take a determined stand for Jesus Christ (as did Daniel, Jeremiah,Nehemiah, Moses, Paul, Christian martyrs (Heb. 11:32-38), etc.).The traditional school setting has some advantages, although in several Christian schools thedisadvantages (peer influence, poor discipline, poor spiritual environment, and so on.) outweigh theadvantages. The advantages are the ones that greatly help to construct mental and physical self-discipline, and should end up being seriously considered by homeschool parents. Self-discipline in aschool is learned through:1. The necessity of planning ahead to deliver books, homework, long-term assignments, etc. Toschool complete as well as on time.2. The hold off of the physical gratification/needs associated with walking about, bathroom break,water, etc.
3. The actual delay of the physical satisfaction of eating (only at lunch).4. The refusal of the desire to speak so as to concentrate on work.5. The denial of the desire to talk so as to help others work.6. The delay from the desire to speak to cooperate throughout group work.7. Assignments totally dictated by the teacher.8. The denial of comfort to ones body (sitting upright on hard chairs).9. A clean work environment (vs. Clutter, toys available, and so on.).10. A day scheduled in to definite, fixed time slots with limited time between classes.The Teenage Years Rules - the to the outside barriers to speech and behavior, should, by theteenage years, have become a schoolmaster to bring [your child] unto Christ (Gal. 3:24 ); not only inthe sense of Salvation secured, but visiting Jesus Christ for assist with self-discipline. Correction fromhis parents has, by this time, taught him that he is a sinner in need of Jesus Christ in order to savehim from eternal passing away in Hell. Prov. 23 :13,14 Later within the teenage years, he has realizedthat outward control (nevertheless some barriers and discipline, but much more guidance) coupledwith his own emerging self-discipline nevertheless fails to keep his skin under control. He musteventually notice that by himself he cant "hang on" and do right - especially in regard to emotions andsexual wishes. He is coming to the understanding of for I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,)dwelleth no good thing: for in order to will is present with me; but wait, how to perform that which isgood i find not. Romans seven :18Trust in his parents to help "keep" him controlled in speech, thoughts, and actions must now bedirected toward one who is able to help from within their heart. If, having achieved this during theteenage many years, he can now say i can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Phil.4:13 For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower in the enemy. Psalms 61:three TheLORD is my strength and my protect ; my heart trusted within him, and I am helped : therefore myheart greatly rejoiceth; and with my tune will I praise him. Psalms 28:7 As he once trusted in hisparents, a teenager should now place his trust in the Lord. Fear thou not; for I am along with thee: benot dismayed; for I am thy lord : I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea,I will uphold theeusing the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10Training in Self-DisciplineYour child "trusts in [his parents] with all of [his] heart; and [must not] lean not unto [his] ownunderstanding." Prov. 3:5 As a mother or father, you are his guide, their protector (from the world,their flesh, and the devil), and the external barrier to that which he desires to do that might developpoor habits as well as, consequently, poor character. Unlearned and not foreseeing the future, a childgenerally lives for these days as a slave to his flesh. Parents must constantly be alert for possibilitiesto direct the mind toward an organized, Biblically-based, inner control of ideas, speech, and actions.Outward Discipline to Establish Inner Thoughts1. Protect your child from a knowledge of sin. I maybe have you wise unto that which is nice, andsimple concerning evil. Romans 16:192. Protect your child from excessive thoughts about or interest in the things of this globe. And truly,
if they have been mindful of that country from whence they came out, they may have had opportunityto have returned. Hebrews 11:15 Keep thy heart with all persistance ; for out of it are the problems oflife. Prov. 4 :23 "Keeping" a kids heart is the parents obligation !3. Reconstruct verbalized ideas when they reflect wishes of the flesh. For as he thinketh in hisheart, same with he. Prov. 23 :74. Indoctrinate in the Scriptural basis and practical application associated with self-discipline. Deut.6:6,7 Is. 30:twenty,215. Point out good examples leading to success as well as failure - from the bible and from life. Nowall these things happened on to them for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, onwhom the ends of the world are come. 1 Cor. 10:11 1 nobleman 1:5,6 idol judges 14:3Mental Self-Discipline1. Expect mental effort - thinking, reasoning; and memorization associated with verses, facts fromtopics, poems, songs, etc. Your childs education should always have a way of measuring difficulty.Fun in training has its place, but persistent work should be the main exercise. Thou therefore endurehardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. 2 Timothy 2:3 Good training, by necessity, will involveconflict with the fleshly nature of your child.2. Train your child to be subservient to anothers will, while at the same time training him to becautious about selecting people to follow (strangers, and so on.). Obey them that have the rule overyou, as well as submit yourselves. Heb. 13:17a Be sober, be vigilant; because your foe the devil, as aroaring lion, walketh about, looking for whom he may devour. One Peter 5:83. Train your child to have a pleasant mindset in all things. Work as faithfully on attitude as youperform on the training of bodily discipline. Then this Daniel was preferred above the actualpresidents and princes, because an excellent spirit was in him. Dan 6:3a And Jesus increased inknowledge and stature, and in favour with God and man. (He was 12 at the time.) Luke 2:52Physical Self-Discipline1. Erect firm, consistent barriers to unwanted actions. NEed desired actions when informed the firsttime! It is poor instruction to allow your child the "pleasurable sin" of delayed obedience (callingseveral times, counting to ten, etc.). Ep. 6:22. Impose discipline for repeated infractions and encouragement for success (without inflating self-esteem). Ec. 8:113. Indoctrinate within the Biblical basis for physical self-discipline and teach the practical applicationof physical self-discipline. 1 Cor.9:27The Urgent TaskThe time is short, and the times are evil! Ep. Five :16 You have a brief chance (which is sharplyreduced in the arrival of the teenage many years ) to instill the mental "operating system" that willguide your child for a lifetime. There is no time to "enjoy " the antics of a child with little self-discipline.If you laugh and think that juniors undisciplined habits are "cute," you and he will pay a dear price - achild left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Prov. 29:15 a child is not an adult, nor may he beexpected to have the self-discipline of an adult, but years as a child is the time to train the future
grownup. View all training as preparation for future service for the Lord. Train a young child tobecome a useful servant from the Lord- strong in faith and in character! This is the parentsresponsibility, and is not to be delegated to the church or a religious school. Homeschool parentspossess a great advantage in character creating, but many, due to weariness or even perceivedinability, are ignoring character building while focusing on child-centered academics.It will be difficult to place a hurdle around your childs fleshly nature. Each child will be different; manywill put up more of a "fight " in defense of fleshly desires. Those who do are, perhaps, being preparedfor a more difficult life of service for the Lord. Do not fail these children in their preparation by usingexcuses (hyperactivity, physical handicap, middle child, etc.).A constant example must be set by the "trainers." While you might need to let down your guard aswell as indulge in poor character, remember that you must be able to say be ye followers of mepersonally, even as I also am associated with Christ. 1 Cor. 11 :1Training children in self-discipline takes much repetition of teaching and consistency in modificationand discipline. Train upward a child in the way he is going : and when he is old, hell not depart from it. Prov. 22:6 the actual rewards of careful work to character building are great ! The "yield" is thepeaceable fruit of righteousness! Heb. 12:11 youll be able to produce a delightful teenager!General Goals1. To build an inner restraint against the desires of the flesh - by providing consistent outerrestraints and expecting habitual conformity. But I keep under my body system, and bring it intosubjection. 1 Cor. 9:27a2. To instill a fear of the Lord (which greatly stands for inner restraint); and to train to obey asseeing him who is invisible. Heb. 11:27b Come, ye children, hearken unto me : I will teach you thefear from the LORD. Ps. 34:eleven The fear of the LORD may be the beginning of knowledge: butfools despise wisdom and instruction. Prov. 1:73. To encourage a total trust in the Lord for strength and direction (recognizing that help withrestraint is necessary). Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine ownunderstanding. Prov. 3:5 to LORD, I know that the clear way of man is not in himself : it is not in manwhich walketh to direct their steps. Jer. 10:23Specific GoalsSelf-Discipline is needed:1. To be accountable for the use of time. One Peter 4:22. To learn to wait to speak. James one :193. To speak when shyness or fear inhibits. One Thes. 2:44. To learn to weigh thoughts carefully before speaking. Ps. Thirty four :13 Prov. 13:3 ; 21:235. To be able to perform unpleasant tasks without distress. 2 Tim. 2:36. To be able to use the mind in order to memorize required material. Prov. 10:14 Ps. 119:117. To be able to endure hard trials. James 1:two,38. To learn to perform unpleasant habits.9. To have bodily self-restraint. 1 Cor. 9 :27
10. To keep thyself pure. 1 Tim. 2:22 Phil 4:811. To maintain rule over his own spirit (emotions). Prov. 25:2812. To complete a project through inception to completion. Ec. 10:1813. To deny the lust of the flesh (unavailable/wrong material or physical desires). Luke 9:2314. To delay legitimate self-gratification; to become content with withheld desires. Phil. 4:11,1215 to work with no expectation of instant reward. Gal. 6:916. To joyfully submit to another rather than to seek ones personal will. Ps. 40:817. To eat what is set before him with contentment. Phil. 4:1118. To trust in the LORD with all thine coronary heart ; and lean not unto thine own understanding.Prov. 3:519. To deny feelings and choose to do what is right. 1 Kings eighteen :2120. To give up a liberty so as not to offend another person. 1 Cor.8:1321. To develop mental discipline (Disciplined mind Disciplined body). 2 Cor. 10:522. To continue in work despite personal physical rebellion. Lam. 3 :2723. To be a servant instead of a master. Mt. 23:1124. To be accountable for ones personal name and family title (testimony). Prov. 22:126. To receive correction and self-discipline with a good attitude. Prov. Three :11; 15:1027. To cooperate with the needs associated with others - to acknowledge his needs for the benefit ofa group. Ps. 133:128. To maintain a Godly value system that directs every day decisions. Gen. 24:thirty-three Col. 3:229. In order to submit to an unpleasant master. 1 Peter 2:1830. To build up a mental alertness. 1 Peter 5:831. In order to refuse negative peer pressure. Ex. 23:2Daily PlanConsistent Example Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ. 1 Cor. 11:1Consistent Teaching The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, full of Israel; To know knowledgeand instruction; to see the words of understanding; to receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, andjudgment, and equity; To give subtilty towards the simple, to the young man understanding anddiscretion. Prov. 1 :1-4Consistent Training and Maintenance Train up a child in the manner he should go: and when he isold, he will not go away from it. Prov. 22 :6 Because sentence against an evil work is not reallyexecuted speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is actually fully set in them to perform evil.Ec. 8:11 Withhold not correction in the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.Prov. 23:13 Wherefore I will not be negligent to put you always in remembrance of those things,though ye understand them, and be established in our truth. Yea, I think it fulfill, as long as I am inthis tabernacle, to stir you up by putting you in remembrance. 2 Peter 1 :12,13Implementing GoalsFor every goal that you desire to be fulfilled in your child, make a particular, long-range plan to seeyour goal accomplished. Follow the pattern of:
EXAMPLE --TEACHING--TRAINING.SAMPLE: Goal #1: self discipline is needed to be accountable for the use of time.Example: Be conscious of time in your own life. Display a concern for your own use of period. Be ontime to church, appointments, class, etc. Do not waste time! Ep. 5:16Teaching: Expect household jobs to be done without stopping to experience or to talk to others.Expect schoolwork to be done without wasting time (playing with pencils, walking around, talking,daydreaming, and so on.) As your children get older (of sufficient age to easily tell the time as well asown a watch), expect them to be ready for church on time (without having to be told), get up on time(by using an alarm clock), plan ahead to be prepared for a specific bedtime, set the table prior to anappointed time, be in from outside perform at a certain time, and so on. Teach your child the value ofyour time - how to use it sensibly, how to plan ahead, and how to function to meet deadlines andschedules (long and short-range). Have him memorize verses having to do with time, laziness,slothfulness, sluggishness, unfaithfulness, etc. (Prov. 24:38-30-34; 18:9; 26:fourteen )Training: Discipline in some manner when a responsibility to a particular time is avoided, overlooked,or forgotten. Let your son or daughter know that excuses such as "i forgot" will not be accepted!discipline for wasted time when he is expected to be working (take time off from free/recess time,etc.)Maintaining Boundaries1. Physical discipline, when necessary. He which spareth his rod hateth his son: but he or she thatloveth him chasteneth him betimes. Prov. 13 :24 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but thefishing rod of correction shall generate it far from him. Prov. 22:152. Withdrawing a normal privilege-a withdrawn benefit due to a failure in the responsibility to dothat which was taught. When self-discipline fails, the old character will be reinforced/encouraged-because the pleasures of sin were permitted without any unpleasant consequences. In the event thatunpleasant consequences are not organized by parents now, the unpleasant consequences will comeonce the child becomes an adult. (Ec. 8:11)3. Natural consequences - those regrettable things that happen as a result of disobedience(perhaps disobedience that is not immediately discovered by a parent). RElated to God, we wouldalso refer to this as "learning the hard way-by experience." Being assured of this very thing, that hethat hath begun a good work in you will perform it before day of Jesus Christ. Phil. 1:6 for it is Godwhich worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure. Phil. Two :13Jeremiah 29