The Development Of Self-Discipline In Children (134)
The Development Of Self-Discipline In ChildrenThe Young Child is constantly withheld from many of their desires by physical limitations. We usebaby gates, fences, locks on doorways and cabinets (restricted areas ), cribs, playpens, leashes, andbrief commands ("NO!" "yes !"). We carefully watch the young child; monitoring what he or she sees,where he will go, and with whom he affiliates. These barriers are primarily for the purpose ofprotecting the child through himself - from their own desire to seek his own may prior to an age whenhe has knowledge, self-discipline, anxiety when the Lord, or help from the actual Holy Spirit to avoidthat which is harmful to him.The School-Age Child is still in bondage under the aspects of the world. Gal. 4:three Foolishness isbound down the middle of a child. Prov. 22 :15a Having foolishness in his heart, he is likely to behavethe part of a fool - a fool hath no delight in understanding, but that his heart may discover itself. Prov.18:2 he or she constantly desires to venture into the actual "department store" of the flesh. There isnothing more dangerous than permitting a child to "discover himself " at this age. The heart isdeceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who are able to know it? Jer. Seventeen :9 Beingat the beginning of their "formal training" in self-discipline, he is relatively helpless at controlling hisown desires; and the fleshly nature is thought to be a fascinating friend rather than observed tocontain no good thing. Rom. 7:18 As a parent, you must safeguard him from his own most detrimentalenemy - his skin, and two other predatory enemies -- the world and the demon. Childhood is the timeto train your child in preparation for a life of self-denial (Mt. 16:24). As a parent, you must become anouter boundary that restricts the fleshly nature of the child until the time that he has established innerboundaries and has inner help from the Lord. The outside obstacles must remain well beyond thecrib-stage; the barriers now becoming more directed at the speech and actions (that arise from thethoughts). Growing up gets older, curiosity about the external world and his bodys wishes increases,and the pull from the inner fleshly nature becomes more demanding.There is every indication in the Bible that God expects total mental (2 Cor. 10:five ) and physical (1Cor. 9:27a) self-discipline; the kind of discipline that leads one to existing his body as a residingsacrifice (Rom. 12:one ) and to take a determined are a symbol of Jesus Christ (as do Daniel,Jeremiah, Nehemiah, Moses, Paul, Christian martyrs (Heb. 11:32-38), etc.).The traditional school setting has some advantages, although in many Christian schools thedisadvantages (peer influence, poor discipline, poor spiritual environment, and so on.) outweigh theadvantages. The advantages are those that greatly help to build mental and physical self-discipline,and should be seriously considered by homeschool parents. Self-discipline in a school is learnedthrough:1. The necessity of planning ahead to deliver books, homework, long-term assignments, etc. Toschool complete and on time.2. The delay of the physical gratification/needs associated with walking about, bathroom break, water,etc.3. The actual delay of the physical satisfaction of eating (only at lunch).
4. The denial of the desire to speak in order to concentrate on work.5. The denial of the desire to speak so as to help others function.6. The delay of the desire to speak to cooperate during group work.7. Assignments totally dictated by the teacher.8. The denial of comfort to ones body (sitting upright on hard chairs).9. A clean work environment (versus. Clutter, toys available, and so on.).10. A day scheduled into definite, fixed time slots with limited time in between classes.The Teenage Years Rules - the outward barriers to speech and behavior, should, by the adolescentyears, have become a schoolmaster to bring [your child] on to Christ (Gal. 3:twenty-four ); not only inthe sense of Salvation secured, but visiting Jesus Christ for assist with self-discipline. Correction fromhis parents has, by this time, trained him that he is a sinner in need of Jesus Christ to save him frometernal death in Hell. Prov. Twenty three :13,14 Later within the teenage years, he has recognizedthat outward control (still some barriers and self-discipline, but much more guidance) combined withhis own emerging self-discipline nevertheless fails to keep his flesh under control. He must eventuallyrecognize that by himself he cant "hang on" and do right - especially in regard in order to emotionsand sexual desires. He is coming to the understanding of for I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,)dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but wait, how to perform that which is good wefind not. Romans seven :18Trust in his parents to assist "keep" him controlled within speech, thoughts, and measures must nowbe directed toward one who is able to help from within his heart. If, having achieved this during theteenage years, he can now say i will do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Phil. 4:13For thou hast been a shelter personally, and a strong tower from the enemy. Psalms 61:three TheLORD is my strength and my protect ; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped : therefore my heartgreatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him. Psalms 28:7 As he as soon as trusted in hisparents, a teenager should now place their trust in the Lord. Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be notdismayed; for I am thy lord : I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea,I will uphold thee usingthe right hand of my personal righteousness. Isaiah 41:10Training in Self-DisciplineYour child "trusts in [his parents] with all of [his] heart; and [must not] lean not unto [his] ownunderstanding." Prov. 3:5 As a mother or father, you are his guide, his protector (from the world, theirflesh, and the devil), and his external barrier to that that he desires to do that might develop poorhabits as well as, consequently, poor character. Unlearned and not foreseeing the future, a childgenerally lives for today as a slave to their flesh. Parents must continuously be alert for possibilities todirect the mind toward a structured, Biblically-based, inner control of ideas, speech, and actions.Outward Discipline to Establish Inner Thoughts1. Protect your child from an understanding of sin. I maybe have you wise unto that which is nice,and simple concerning evil. Romans 16:192. Protect your son or daughter from excessive thoughts about or interest in the things of thisglobe. And truly, if they had been mindful of that country from whence they came out, they might have
had opportunity to have returned. Hebrews 11:15 Keep thy heart with all diligence ; for out of it arethe issues of life. Prov. Four :23 "Keeping" a kids heart is the parents obligation !3. Reconstruct verbalized ideas when they reflect desires of the flesh. For because he thinketh inhis heart, so is he. Prov. 23 :74. Indoctrinate in the Scriptural basis and practical application of self-discipline. Deut. 6:6,7 Is.30:twenty,215. Point out good examples leading to success and failure - from the bible and from life. Now allthese things happened unto them for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, on whomthe ends around the globe are come. 1 Cor. 10:11 1 kings 1:5,6 judges 14:3Mental Self-Discipline1. Expect mental effort - considering, reasoning; and memorization of verses, facts from subjects,poems, songs, etc. Your childs education should always have a measure of difficulty. Fun in traininghas its place, but persistent work should be the main activity. Thou therefore endure solidity, as agood soldier of Jesus Christ. 2 Timothy 2:3 Good training, by necessity, will involve turmoil with thefleshly nature of your child.2. Train your son or daughter to be subservient to anothers will, while at the same timeinstruction him to be cautious about choosing people to follow (strangers, etc.). Obey them that havethe rule over you, and submit yourselves. Heb. 13:17a Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversarythe devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour. 1 Peter 5:83. Train your child to have a pleasant attitude in all things. Work as faithfully on attitude as youdo on the training of physical discipline. Then this Daniel was preferred above the presidents andprinces, because an excellent spirit was in him. Dan 6:3a And Jesus increased in wisdom andstature, and in favour with God and man. (He was 12 at the time.) Luke 2:52Physical Self-Discipline1. Erect firm, consistent barriers to unwanted actions. NEed desired actions when told the firsttime! It is poor instruction to allow your child the "pleasurable sin" of delayed behavior training (callingseveral times, counting to ten, etc.). Ep. 6:22. Impose discipline for repeated infractions and encouragement for success (without inflating self-esteem). Ec. 8:113. Indoctrinate in the Biblical basis for physical self-discipline and teach the practical application ofphysical self-discipline. 1 Cor.9:27The Urgent TaskThe time is short, and the days are evil! Ep. Five :16 You have a brief opportunity (which is sharplyreduced in the arrival of the teenage many years ) to instill the psychological "operating system" thatwill guide your child for a lifetime. There is no time to "appreciate " the antics of a child with little self-discipline. If you laugh and think that juniors undisciplined habits are "cute," you and he will pay adear price - a kid left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Prov. 29:15 a child is not an adult, norcan he be expected to have the self-discipline of an adult, but childhood is the time to train the futureadult. View all training as preparation for future support for the Lord. Train a young child to become a
useful servant from the Lord- strong in faith and in character! This is the parents responsibility, and isnot to be delegated to the church or a christian school. Homeschool parents possess a greatadvantage in character building, but many, due to weariness or perceived inability, are ignoringcharacter building while focusing on child-centered academics.It is going to be difficult to place a hurdle around your childs fleshly character. Each child will bedifferent; some will put up more of a "fight " in defense of fleshly desires. Those who do are, perhaps,being prepared for a more difficult life of service for that Lord. Do not fail these types of children intheir preparation by utilizing excuses (hyperactivity, physical handicap, middle child, etc.).A constant example must be set by the "trainers." While you might need to let down your guard aswell as indulge in poor character, remember that you must be able to say be ye followers of me, evenas I also am of Christ. 1 Cor. Eleven :1Training children in self-discipline takes much repetition of teaching and consistency in correction anddiscipline. Train up a child in the way he should go : and when he is old, hell not depart from it. Prov.22:6 the actual rewards of careful attendance to character building are wonderful ! The "yield" is thepeaceable fruit of righteousness! Heb. 12:11 it is possible to produce a delightful teenager!General Goals1. To build an inner restraint against the wishes of the flesh - by providing consistent outerrestraints as well as expecting habitual conformity. But I keep under my body, and bring it intosubjection. 1 Cor. 9:27a2. To instill a fear of the actual Lord (which greatly stands for inner restraint); and to teach to obeyas viewing him who is invisible. Heb. 11:27b Come, ye children, hearken unto me : I will teach you thefear of the LORD. Ps. 34:eleven The fear of the LORD may be the beginning of knowledge: but foolsdespise wisdom and instruction. Prov. 1:73. To encourage a total trust in the Lord for power and direction (recognizing that help with restraintis necessary). Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not really unto thine own understanding. Prov. 3:5 to LORD, I know that the way of man is not in themself : it is not in man that walketh todirect his steps. Jer. 10:23Specific GoalsSelf-Discipline is needed:1. To become accountable for the use of time. One Peter 4:22. To understand to wait to speak. James 1 :193. To speak when shyness or fear inhibits. 1 Thes. 2:44. To learn to weigh thoughts very carefully before speaking. Ps. Thirty four :13 Prov. 13:3 ; 21:235. To be able to carry out unpleasant tasks without stress. 2 Tim. 2:36. To be able to use the mind to memorize required material. Prov. 10:14 Ps. 119:117. To be able to endure difficult trials. James 1:two,38. To learn to perform unpleasant habits.9. To have bodily self-restraint. 1 Cor. NIne :2710. To keep thyself real. 1 Tim. 2:twenty two Phil 4:8
11. To keep rule over his own spirit (emotions). Prov. 25:2812. To complete a project from inception to completion. Ec. 10:1813. To deny the lust of the flesh (unavailable/wrong material or bodily desires). Luke 9:2314. To delay legitimate self-gratification; to be content with withheld desires. Phil. 4:11,1215 to work with no expectation of instant reward. Gal. 6:916. To joyfully submit to another rather than to seek ones own will. Ps. 40:817. To eat what is set prior to him with contentment. Phil. 4:1118. To rely upon the LORD with all thine coronary heart ; and lean not on to thine own understanding.Prov. 3:519. To refuse feelings and choose to do what is right. 1 Kings 18 :2120. To give up a liberty so as not to offend another person. 1 Cor.8:1321. To build up mental discipline (Disciplined thoughts Disciplined body). Two Cor. 10:522. To continue in work despite personal physical rebellion. Lam. 3 :2723. To be a servant instead of a master. Mt. 23:1124. To be accountable for ones personal name and family name (testimony). Prov. 22:126. To receive correction and discipline with a good attitude. Prov. 3 :11; 15:1027. To cooperate with the needs of others - to acknowledge his needs for the benefit of a group. Ps.133:128. To maintain a Godly value system that directs every day decisions. Gen. 24:thirty-three Col. 3:229. In order to submit to an unpleasant master. 1 Peter 2:1830. To build up a mental alertness. One Peter 5:831. In order to refuse negative peer pressure. Former mate. 23:2Daily PlanConsistent Example Be ye followers of me, even as I also m of Christ. 1 Cor. 11:1Consistent Teaching The proverbs of Solomon the actual son of David, full of Israel; To knowwisdom and instruction; to see the words of understanding; to get the instruction of knowledge,justice, and judgment, as well as equity; To give subtilty towards the simple, to the young manknowledge and discretion. Prov. 1 :1-4Consistent Training and Maintenance Train up a child in the way he should go: and when hes old,he will not go away from it. Prov. Twenty two :6 Because sentence towards an evil work is notexecuted speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is actually fully set in them to do evil. Ec.8:11 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Prov.23:13 Wherefore I will not be negligent to put you always in remembrance of those things, though yeknow them, and be established in our truth. Yea, I think it meet, as long as I am in this tabernacle, tostir you upward by putting you in remembrance. 2 Peter one :12,13Implementing GoalsFor each goal that you desire to be satisfied in your child, make a specific, long-range plan to seeyour objective accomplished. Follow the design of:EXAMPLE --TEACHING--TRAINING.
SAMPLE: Goal #1: self-discipline is needed to be accountable for using time.Example: Be conscious of time in your own life. Show a concern for your own use of time. Be on timeto church, appointments, class, etc. Do not waste time! Ep. 5:16Teaching: Expect household jobs to be done without stopping to play or to talk to others. Anticipateschoolwork to be done with out wasting time (playing with pencils, walking around, talking,daydreaming, etc.) As your children get older (of sufficient age to easily tell the time as well as own awatch), expect these phones be ready for church on time (without having to be told), get up on time(with the use of an alarm clock), plan ahead to be prepared for a specific bedtime, set the actual tableprior to an appointed time, be in from outside play at a certain time, etc. Teach your child the value oftime - how to use it sensibly, how to plan ahead, and how to work to meet deadlines and schedules(long and short-range). Get him to memorize verses having to do with time, laziness, slothfulness,sluggishness, disloyality, etc. (Prov. 24:38-30-34; 18:9; 26:fourteen )Training: Discipline in some manner when a responsibility to a particular time is avoided, ignored, orforgotten. Let your child know that excuses such as "we forgot" will not be accepted! discipline forwasted time when he is expected to be working (take time off from free/recess time, and so on.)Maintaining Boundaries1. Physical self-discipline, when necessary. He which spareth his rod hateth his son: but he or shethat loveth him chasteneth him betimes. Prov. 13 :24 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; butthe rod of correction shall drive it far from him. Prov. 22:152. Withdrawing a normal privilege-a withdrawn benefit due to a failure in the obligation to do thatwhich was taught. Whenever self-discipline fails, the old character will be reinforced/encouraged-because the pleasures of sin were allowed without any unpleasant consequences. If unpleasantconsequences are not arranged by parents now, the unpleasant consequences will come when thechild becomes an adult. (Ec. 8:11)3. Natural consequences - those regrettable things that happen as a result of disobedience(perhaps disobedience that is not immediately discovered by a parent). Attributed to God, we wouldalso make reference to this as "learning hard way-by experience." Being assured of this very thing,that he that hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. Phil. 1:6 for itis God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure. Phil. Two :13Jeremiah 29