@LIFECOACHERS - Seven Steps to Louder Living An @FlyoverJoel Presentation
Agenda Seven Key Skills Provided by @LIFECOACHERS✓ 1 Relationship Management✓ 2 Conflict Resolution✓ 3 Personal Branding✓ 4 Work/Life Balance✓ 5 Success in the Workplace✓ 6 Motivation by Example✓ 7 Seven Steps to Louder Living
Relationship ManagementKeep getting up and moving forward, every single day, especially if theres at least oneperson who will be totally pissed off if you do. - @LIFECOACHERS
Relationship ManagementPeace is the only answer. Unless someone else getsthe last donut. Then you can start fucking bitches up. -@LIFECOACHERS Not being a douche Look in the mirror in the morning and remind is often an elegant yourself not to be a douche. Then go out and solution. - spend the day not being a douche. @LIFECOACHERS You are the most important personal in the world, and don’t let anyone tell you differently NEVER doubt yourself. Thats what unless you suck at life, loser. your family is for. - @LIFECOACHERS At family gatherings, always bring booze. At Use this day of rest least if it sucks, you can’t make a concerted to spend time with effort to blackout. your family and remind yourself why you drink. - @LIFECOACHERS
Conflict Resolution We cant move on unless we forgive. So it looks like well be staying right fucking here. - @LIFECOACHERS It’s important to set the proper tone when resolving conflict in the workplace. For example, “I swear to god Bob, if you lose another customer I am going to wear your personal brand as a hat.”
Conflict Resolution Always use your social media presence to loudly express strongly politicized views, no matter how inappropriate they are at the moment. - @LIFECOACHERS
Personal Branding Start a media empire & name it after yourself. Found a magazine & only featureyourself on the cover each month. Eat one orphan every day. - @LIFECOACHERS Garnter studies show a 6 correlation between orphans Orphans Eaten eaten and your klout score 5 4 1 2 3 Klout Score 15 20 30 70 90
Personal BrandingAll good things may sometimes come to those who wait but mostly they cometo assholes who dont deserve them. - @LIFECOACHERS Waiting 1. A new iPhone is released. 2. Hipsters stand in line all night. 3. Now I can’t order a venti soy latte with extra foam without some asshole in skinny jeans talking on Good the phone. Assholes Things
Work/Life BalanceIf youre looking for love its because you haventdiscovered binge drinking. - @LIFECOACHERS Pine Away Discover Whiskey The key to living a happy life is to stop worrying about Stop Caring others and your impact on their lives. All you need is a bottle of Boones Farm and a warm steel drum fire to find happiness. LIFECOACHERS is that warm drum of happiness.
Work/Life BalanceWe all have gifts. The big question in life is how we willwaste them before dying alone. - LIFECOACHERS Investment We all need to invest in others at 1 some point just so we can learn what a big mistake that usually is. - @LIFECOACHERS Sleep at Your Desk The road to happiness begins with 2 a nap. It pretty much ends there too. - @LIFECOACHERS Home and Office Always remember how precious and 3 special you really are, but never forget that your ass can replaced in a fucking heartbeat. - @LIFECOACHERS
Success in the Workplace Make it your goal to learn something new each day, like how not to fuck shit up all the time. - @LIFECOACHERS Success Not Fucking Wake Shit Up Up
Success in the WorkplaceTake Advantage of the Moment Wishing people were dead isnt going to get results! Be proactive! - @LIFECOACHERS 1Word Hard You can do anything you set your mind to, as long as its really easy and only takes like thirty seconds 2 or so. - @LIFECOACHERSDon’t Be Afraid to Try New Things What ever doesnt kill you usually fucks with your lower back. - @LIFECOACHERS 3
Motivation By ExampleCast aside the vices you love and embrace thehealthy things you loath and live years longer in astate of boredom and misery!Shut Up And Listen And Listen Stressed? Take a deep breath. Hold it. Its a brave new world and it only grows 1 Good. Now youve shut up. God, youre 2 newer all the time. Be prepared each day annoying. - @LIFECOACHERS to not have a fucking clue whats going on. - @LIFECOACHERS
Motivation By ExampleLife is nothing without laughter, so review the wreckageof your life today and laugh because thats pretty muchall weve got these days. - @LIFECOACHERS Drink When life tries to hand you lemons, 1 ask for limes instead. No one wants lemons in their gin and tonic(s). - @LIFECOACHERS Fight Its important to have a good sense of 2 humor right up till someone jokes about something you care about, then its okay to kick their ass. - @LIFECOACHERS Sleep Sleep is crucial to your mental and physical well-being plus its like a little 3 taste of sweet, sweet death every single night. - @LIFECOACHERS
LIVE IN ALL CAPS Seven Steps to Louder Living THROW OUT THE WASHING STICK AND BURST FROM UNDER THE AUTUMN LEAF PILES OF CHIP BAGS1 AND OWN YOUR BLUBBER, BEAUTIFUL! - @LIFECOACHERS ADD EXTRA GLUTEN EAT ALL THE PEANUTS & SOY WEAR A 3-PIECE SUIT TO OCCUPY STUFF GIVE2 ANARCHIST SHIT TO TEABAGGERS ITS YOUR LIFE FUCKERS - @LIFECOACHERS TWEET HARD CORE, LIKE THAT HR GOOGLE SEARCH WONT FIND YOU TOMORROW, AND KNOW THAT3 WE LOVE EVERY ONE OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS. - @LIFECOACHERS RUN AROUND LIKE YOURE BURNING UP IN FLAMES OF AWESOMENESS unless youre actually on fire in4 which case you should stop, drop and roll. - @LIFECOACHERS DONT STRANGLE MANY PEOPLE TODAY - @LIFECOACHERS5 WASH YOUR BUTT FOR BETTER LIVING. ITS NOT FUCKING ROCKET SCIENCE. - @LIFECOACHERS67 GET OUT THERE TOMORROW AND TWIST THE NIPPLES OF THE DAY - @LIFECOACHERS
ConclusionThe first step to being a better person is turning off the computer, and we all knowthats not happening any time soon. - @LIFECOACHERS In 2003, the Northeast went dark. People chugged their beer before it skunked and then drank wiskey because you can never be to sure. LIFECOACHERS prepares you for those important decisions. Write that shit down.
QUESTIONS? @LIFECOACHERS is a collection of Twitter personalities providing you the best life advice you can get on the internet. You can follow them on Twitter at https://twitter.com/lifecoachers or if you aren’t as cool, on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/LIFECOACHERS FlyoverJoel is not a member of LIFECOACHERS but you can still read his daily musings at https://twitter.com/FlyoverJoel.