Writing with Joy and Passion Burnaby District Day Feb. 22nd, 2013 Faye Brownlie www.slideshare.net
Writing in front of your kids• Regularly write in front of your kids, thinking aloud as you write. • Model working toward 2-‐3 criteria. • Have students idenCfy ‘what you have done well’. • IdenCfy these as 2-‐3 criteria. • Students write, using these criteria and self-‐ assess before sharing. • Move among the students, conferencing, focusing on the criteria. Give EACH student feedback.
Grade 2/3 Writing Criteria• An opening sentence with a hook• Details• Distinguished words
Autumn Bear Author-‐Diane Culling Illustrator -‐ Cindy Vincent Snowberry Books, 2007 ISBN 978-‐0-‐9736678-‐2-‐0
One September morning •a piece of fog touched me. As I looked out my window the gold leaves driVed out of the tree as I dragged my feet down the stairs to breakfreast, as I waited for the school bus I feel puﬀs of wind pick up my hair when the school bus came I slowley walk up the stairs as I bundled • in a seat as I went down the steps I saw birds migraCng south as if leaves followed them it looked like they were air dancing.• -‐Allyson, gr.2
• As the cool fall leafs fall the aniamails hide in thir hafertat an the people put worm ﬁre on and they have hot chocolet with mashmao. If feel couze with the blaket on you. You feel like you want to stay home forever. The wind hits your face it feels like somebudys teeching except it’s the breeze. -‐by Jason, gr.3
Autumn Wind • When the Autumn wind blows it makes me shiver. It really makes me quiver. The wind is cold and really bold, it feels refreshing on my face. I get to keep my own pace. My hair would blow I can be slow, I walk on the ground I don’t have a frown, it feels so good and it keeps me in a joyful mood it keeps me happy for the rest of the day and I want to play and play. AVer the Autumn wind blows on my face it is really cool, it almost feels as cold as my pool. By Samantha, gr.3
A Sample Lesson, gr. 6/7• Field trip • 5 minute free write • Reread 3 Cmes: word count, structure/grammar, PS • Powerful sentence • Rewrite from prose to poetry (model & coach) • Whip around -‐ draV found poem • Establish criteria for personal poem • DraV own found poem • In teams, revise/edit class found poem • Revise/edit personal poems with partner and publish
– Me and my class went to UBC, and into the Nitobe Gardens on Jan. 16. The Garden looks nice, and everything has a meaning. The more red there is, the more danger. There are also bridges and lanterns. My favorite bridge is the zig-‐zag bridge. They say when you become an adult, you walk past it so the devil leaves you. They believe the devil can only walk in a straight line. The lanterns also have meaning. The father lantern, mother lantern. They are all stages you will cross in life. When we entered the Nitobe Gardens, we walked towards the right because it is the side of the moon. There are also benches, just like Mr. Weil said. You sit on the bench to look at the garden and see what you have done in life. There is a bridge in the begining and the end. – Devon -‐ 139
• When you enter the Nitobe Memorial Garden you turn to the right. The Nitobe Garden was built in the memory of a Japanese man named Nitobe who wanted to be the bridge between Japan and Canada. In the garden you follow the forest path of “infancy” and pass the “father” and the “mother” lanterns. You can choose the path of the easygoing child or the path of the struggling child. AVer that you enter the wide open space of childhood. There is a pond close to the path with koi ﬁsh in that represent virtues. Soon you come to the 77 log bridge which was built in memory of Nitobe. • Timmy -‐ 112
From prose to poetry • “Enter the island, the shape of a turtle. The turtle will shower you with good luck.”
• Enter the island • Turtle-‐shaped • Showered with good luck
Criteria • 1 line for each phrase/idea • Simile/metaphor • Example of personiﬁcaCon • Powerful vocabulary • A key idea, emoCon, sense of image (may come with a repeated phrase)
The Zig-‐Zag Bridge Walk through in adulthood The Devil will leave you He walks in straight lines So he cannot follow you. The Devil is unbearable, But now in adulthood, The Devil cannot see you Repent And walk through the bridge, The zig-‐zag bridge. The Devil will leave you For he can no longer see you He walks in straight lines, So he cannot follow you. Devin
The garden built in memory of Nitobe bridge across the Paciﬁc Enter to the right along the forest path struggle or be content in your early life Along the way of childhood koi ﬁsh, virtue, will, grace as long as the mother lights your path consequences will bring early marriage and late marriage or back from teen rebellion the bamboo fence will bring you through the pavilion Raise your family with pride when you get to the ﬁnal bench rest, reﬂect, and be graCﬁed Timmy
The Garden -‐ by Timmy The garden Built in memory of Nitobe Bridge across the Paciﬁc Enter to the right Along the forest path Struggle or be content In your early life Along the way of childhood Koi ﬁsh virtue will grant As long as the mother lantern lights your path
The Devil Is Gone Only walks in straight lines Bad luck Zig zag bridge Middle of your life Fall if he tries Leave the devil behind No more bad luck The devil is gone By: Devin
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