May 2011 - Pat Driediger, CA

All Fired Up
Anger is the second emotion

Agenda
Case Scenario
Definition of anger
Expressions of anger
Anger Cycle
Purpose of anger
Benefits of anger
Using anger constructively
Responding to anger in others
Q & A

Fictitious Case Scenario
Les (former -employee)
Rick (Sr. Mgr. Acme Tech. Ltd)
Pat (mediator)
Erin (Jr. Mgr. Acme Tech Ltd Not present)

Definition of Anger
An agitated and often hostile state of arousal, varying in intensity, that is emotional, physiological, and cognitive in nature, originating from a perceived threat or sense of wrongdoing.

Direct: annoyed, irritated, fed up, exasperated
Indirect: disappointed, guilty, depressed, hopeless
Repressed: sarcasm, passive aggressive behaviour, “forgetting”, physical symptoms or accidents

Anger Cycle
Crisis Phase
Escalation Phase
Recovery Phase
Post Crisis Phase
Event-Trigger
Judgement/Intelligence
Creativity

What is the purpose of anger?
Anger acts as a secondary emotion, emerging in response to the stress of another emotional state that is experienced as more uncomfortable than anger.
(Susskind,Field, 1996)

Painful emotions
Loss
Grief
Shame
Hurt
Anxiety
Unworthiness
Unmet needs or desires

Using Anger Constructively
A strong signal that gets our attention.
Motivation to act, make changes and confront anxiety producing situations that we might otherwise avoid.
Energy to continue pursuing problems and provocations until they are resolved.

Benefits of Anger
The body recovers faster from the stress hormones released from anger than it does to those released from fear.
Anger increases feelings of certainty and control. Fear enhances feeling of uncertainty and loss of control.

So, does anyone else feel their needs aren’t being met?

Respond with empathy and acknowledgment.
Don’t try to “reason” a person into calming down.
Allow the other person the right to their own feelings of anger.
Put a ? between you and the angry person. Stay curious.

www.joyofconflict.com
2010
Staying curious

Refuse the Bait

Summary
Anger arousal cycle
Purpose of anger (anger is the 2nd emotion)
Benefits of anger
Using anger constructively

Thank you!

May 2011 - Pat Driediger, CA

by FVCAA on Sep 22, 2011

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May 2011 - Pat Driediger, CA — Presentation Transcript