I bet you didn’t think you would ever need a life coach! Why smart steps.Focus on life’s transitions – the good, the bad and the ugly and know that you are not alone!
That might be a surprise to you, but think about a transition that you have gone through…An example I have is …
Would anyone be happy to name a transition that they have had? How did it feel at the time?
Why are these ambivalent? They should be positive surely?
Although transitions begin with some form of ending, it is rarely as simple as just on thing that ends – they tend to attract a crowd. Think about moving to a new area. Your endings will include …
Use own breakup to illustrate stages – Denial lasted for 7 months; angry manifested as short tempered with everyone else and self; bargaining about best way for me to survive this – I was never pleading to get him back; depression handled by focusing on horse (replacement of affection?) Acceptance was quite quick once the initial storm had been instigated!
Empty nesting, redundancy and even marriage may have this effect on your identity, and how your previously saw yourself
Time alone during transitions allows a form of ‘rite of passage’ which would have been a tradition in older societies in order to grow…
6/3 - Downtown Women's Club Teleclass: Women and Transitions with Amanda Miller
Smart Steps Life Coaching<br />‘Aha’ moments for Women Of A Certain Age<br />www.smartstepslifecoach.com <br />
Serious illness</li></li></ul><li>And the ambivalent ones…<br />These are the transitions where you might have expected to have felt really positive, but leave you feeling confused…<br />Motherhood<br />Job promotion<br />Relocation to new home<br />Marriage<br />Your youngest child leaving home<br />Success<br />Retirement<br />
So why do we feel confused?<br />The person we thought we were has changed<br />The situation that we were familiar with has changed<br />We are not sure what will happen next<br />We don’t know what to do next<br />We don’t know what we want <br />…we just don’t know any more!<br />
Losing your identity<br />The disidentification stage may involve:<br />Loss of a role that previously guided your behavior<br />Lack of a ‘label’ for yourself<br />Not sure who you are or who you want to become<br />“What am I? Who am I?”<br />
Coping in the fog…<br />The key activities that I encourage my clients to do include:<br /><ul><li>Journaling
Procrastination</li></li></ul><li>Your new beginning<br />Some small steps you can take…<br /><ul><li>Keep in mind that when you are ready to make the new beginning, the opportunity will present itself
Begin to identify with the final result – what will it look and feel like
Do something everyday, however small, that moves you forward
Remember that this is part of a journey, never the end destination</li></li></ul><li>A thought to ponder ;<br />“Somewhere along the line of development we discover what we really are, and then we make our real decision for which we are responsible. Make that decision primarily for yourself because you can never really live anyone else’s life, not even your own child’s”<br />Eleanor Roosevelt after discovering her husbands affair<br />
After Enlightenment…<br />…the laundry<br />(Zen proverb)<br />