Business english emails

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Business english emails

  1. 1. Business English Writing E-Mails
  2. 2. Level of FormalityFormal? Informal?
  3. 3. Level of FormalityFormal• Intercompany• Interdepartment• Apologizing Informal?• Negotiating • Intradepartment• The First E-Mail • Personal E-Mails • Confirming a meeting
  4. 4. Formal English• I want… • I would like…• I want to ask… • I would like to inquire…• Please (do • Please don’t something)… hesitate to (do• I am sorry… something)… • I deeply regret…• I want to tell • I would like to you… inform you…• Goodbye. • Kind Regards…
  5. 5. Formal English: Set Phrases Apologizing Apologizing• “I’m sorry…” “I’m sorry…” “I’m afraid that…”• “I’m afraid that…” “We appreciate your understanding.”• “We haveyour questions, please understanding.”us”. “Know that “If you appreciate yourvaluable to us.” to contact any business is very don’t hesitate• “Know that your business is very valuable to us.”• “If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact us”.
  6. 6. Formal English: Set Phrases Requesting• “I would be extremely grateful if…”• “Could you possibly…”• “Would you mind if we set aside a time to possibly meet face-to-face?”
  7. 7. Formal English: PracticeThe following is ane-mail that is veryrude.Can you make it lessrude?
  8. 8. Formal English: PracticeSUBJECT: With regards to your May 5th orderMr. Smith,We are sorry to inform you that your order was not filled on time. I am afraid that theshipment was caught up in our warehouse.If you would like any more information, please don’t hesitate to contact us. Again, we regretany trouble this may have caused you. If you need compensation, we don’t mind helpingyou in any way. We appreciate your understanding and know that your business is veryvaluable to us.Kind Regards,Christopher Thomas
  9. 9. Differences: E-Mail vs. Written E-Mail Written
  10. 10. Differences: E-Mail vs. Written E-Mail • Less Formal • Greetings (when to use what) Written • No Return Address Needed • More Formal • KISS! • Dear… • Informal letters very informal! • Return Address Needed • Longer is ok. • Always written language.
  11. 11. E-Mail Practice• Trevor Linden (DoS of the Vancouver English Centre is writing an email to Rukshana Engineer of the Canadians In Iran Visa Services Ltd. He wants to know the following: General Info about traveling in Iran for Canadian families The traveling is during Ramadan There will be 3 adults and 2 children traveling They want to leave before Jul 31st• How should the Email look?
  12. 12. E-Mail Practice: Sample 1To whom it may concern,I would like to inquire about visa services that you can offer Canadian families travelling toIran during Ramadan. Total there would be 3 adults and 2 children hoping to leave by July31st.Thank you for your prompt reply,Trevor LindenDirector of StudiesVancouver English Centrewww.vec.ca604-856-3324
  13. 13. E-Mail Practice: Reply 1Hello Mr. Linden,We offer a wide range of services for Canadians travelling to the Middle East. We can not only help you through the visaprocess, but also provide you with travel arrangements as well.If your plan on staying for less than one month the visa process is quite simple. For family stays longer than a month, Iranrequires marriage certificates and proof of employment from your native country. Children applications for stays more thanan moth can also be a bit complex.For general information, you can visit here: www.canadiansiniran.com/visa/overviewApplication forms can be downloaded here: www.canadiansiniran.com/visa/documentsFeel free to contact us at anytime – I am sure we can provide you with what you need.Best Regards,Rukshana EngineerCanadians In Iran Visa Serviceswww.canadiansiniran.comVancouver: 001-604-853-2352Iran: 011-98-21-2365-5664
  14. 14. E-Mail Practice: Sample 2Hi Rukshana,Thank you for pointing us in the right direction. However, there seems to be some things that I am still not quite clearon. Perhaps you can walk me through this. The visas I am looking for are for a teacher at my school. She will not onlybe going to have her family experience Ramadan in Iran, but also to give a lecture at a few local Universities in Tehran.We seem to understand the process for the children, but for her, her husband, and her sister, it seems a bit complex.For our teacher, Dorri Aziz, she is worried that she will not to be able to legally lecture unless she is on a full workingvisa, not a business visa as your website suggests. Also, her sister would like to get a tourist visa only as she will be gohome earlier than the rest – she is going for a vacation, not on business as Dorri is. Will Dorri still be responsible forher sister if she gets a tourist visa instead of being on the family business visa? Lastly, Dorri has a German Sheppard.Can she bring the dog with her?Thank you in advance for your help,Trevor
  15. 15. E-Mail Practice: Reply 2Hi again Trevor,Please find our answers to your questions below in red:For our teacher, Dorri Aziz, she is worried that she will not to be able to legally lecture unless she is on a full working visa, not a business visa as your website suggests.If Dorri will be paid by the local universities , then yes a working visa will be required. However, if she is working under a contract from your school, is paid by your school in Canadiandollars, then a simple business visa will suffice.her sister would like to get a tourist visa only as she will be go home earlier than the restnot a problem – these forms can be found here: www.canadiansiniran.com/visa/touristWill Dorri still be responsible for her sister if she gets a tourist visa instead of being on the family business visa?No – she will only be responsible for her husband and children.Can she bring the dog with her?Not if she plans to bring the dog back to Canada with her – Canada does not allow any dogs that have been in Iran to enter Canada. Call your embassy for details.Hope this helps.Let us know when you are ready to start the visa process.Best Regards,Rukshana
  16. 16. Further E-Mail Tips • Don’t use email if the message needs to be private or secure. • Dont send an email you wouldnt want anyone else to read, its too easy to forward. • Dont leave subject line blankDON’T • Dont use all capital letters • Dont forward a message without a brief comment why youre forwarding it • Dont overrun emails with smiley faces or other emoticons. • Dont let emotions or offensive language detract from your message • Dont send without checking for mistakes
  17. 17. Further E-Mail Tips • Write an informative subject line. • Put the key point of your message up front • Be brief • Make it easy for the reader to reply yes or no or give a short answer (instead of "let meDO know what you think" write "Is Monday or Wednesday at 2PM best for you?") • Make it easy to read, combine Upper & lowercase, use white space and legible font. • Personalize by using conversational tone(contractions, pronouns) • Use symbols occasionally to emphasize
  18. 18. Any Questions?
  19. 19. Business English Writing Proposals
  20. 20. What you know about writing is wrong! Introduction, CONCLUSION!! support, (by the way, conclusion. here’s support) “Build up” to a I don’t know if I memorable want to read all ending! that…
  21. 21. Understand the Customer! We don’t want to be here…
  22. 22. So, what you need to do is…… give them what they want up front.… use firm, positive statements.… have due diligence there, but anything special put up front.… explain exactly what their benefit is.
  23. 23. So, who sets the standard? The customer. Period. No exceptions.
  24. 24. So, how do I go about writing this thing?Executive Summary: Introduce the company, what you will do or provide,what benefit they’ll receive.Statement of Approach: Describe what you will provide. ImplementationFollow Description of you will organize and customer wants.schedule. the RFP. deliverables. Product descriptions.Management Plan: How Do what the supervise. Schedule formilestones. Allocation of resources.Corporate Qualifications: Describe capability. Relevant experiencehighlighted.Staffing Plan: How the project will be staffed. Resumés sometimes given.Contracts and Pricing: Only if you’re closing.
  25. 25. Ok, let’s make this good. WHO: will do the work, manage the work, customer call ifWHO: problem, responsible for what WHAT: needs to be done, will be required, to be expected,WHAT: it will cost WHERE: will the work be done, where deliveredWHERE: HOW: the work will be done, will be deployed, managed, achieve QA and satisfaction, risks mitigated, long it willHOW: take WHEN: you will start, milestones completed, paymentsWHEN: due WHY: you have chosen approach XYZ, the customer shouldWHY: select you
  26. 26. How do I format it?Do what the customer wants! Or, at least… … use a standard font like “Times New Roman” … 10-12 point type … column width of 50-60 characters … page margins of .5” … the use of color if possible … extensive use of graphics … appendices for data that interrupts the “story”
  27. 27. Sample One
  28. 28. Differences in ProposalsCharacteristic Multiple Authors Single Author Multiple hand-offs, notifications, and approvals.Processes You’re in control. Everyone must be kept “in the loop” and up to date.Communication No one to communicate with. Collaborative.Writing After you write, you hand You Decide. You write. off to illustrators, desktop After you write, illustrate,production staff. publishers, copy, and format, and prepare.Production Support may be available, but must be managed. What support? You’re it.Support The management level of effort goes up as the availability of resources goes up. The your own. Streamlined, but you’re on process developsBottom Line the proposal.
  29. 29. Differences in ProposalsCharacteristic Solutions/Services Products Pick the out an approach. Figure right mix of items.What to bid? Estimate the level of effort,it up. calculate the true cost Add thenPricing of the labor. Not Applicable. May need to bring in other companies. Based on tangible requirements and goods.Teaming Based on approach, processes, capabilities. Very little original content. One is like the next.Proposal Outline Everyan assembly line. It’s proposal is unique.Writing Just because it’sto Research and Development. that the Similar an assembly line, don’t forget Figuring it out, describing it, and presenting it before the best persuasion is only possible when the proposalProduction proposalrevolves around the customers needs. is due is a significant management challenge.Bottom Line
  30. 30. Proposal Writing
  31. 31. Business English Writing E-Mails
  32. 32. AgendaReview: Rules for Writing E-Mails Openings and Closings The Passive Voice Editing an E-Mail and Review
  33. 33. Rules For Writing E-Mails PurposePAS Action Salutation
  34. 34. Rules For Writing E-Mails1. Be informal, not friendly.2. Be concise.3. Remember good mechanics: good grammar, word choice, punctuation, and spelling.4. Scan first. People scan e-mails.5. Reference previous e-mails and address attachments.6. Layout: paragraphs much shorter!
  35. 35. Rules for Writing E-MailsSubject: Excel Training CourseI have found an Excel training course taking place downtown. Seeing as people in our department are uncertain how to useExcel, I think it would be useful for someone in our department to attend. The details are as follows:Name: Spreadsheets for Financial PlanningDates: June 4th to June 8thTime: Weekday EveningsCost: 750 EurosWould you be opposed to paying for the course? I am unable to take the course using my personal funds.Kind Regards,Christopher Thomas
  36. 36. Rules for Writing E-MailsSubject: Mrs. Rothe’s Retirement PartyAs you may know, Mrs. Rothe will be retiring at the end of the year after 15 years at the company. The party will be afterwork on December 20th, in the conference room. Everyone is welcome.We will also be giving Mrs. Rothe a small gift, of which Claudia will organize the collection for. Your contribution is entirelyup to you.Kind Regards,Christopher Thomas
  37. 37. The Subject LineThe best subject line is like a newspaper headline. Clear, concise, andencourages reader to read on.• Clearly describe what the email is about.• Keep it short, using no more than about ten words (about 50 characters, including spaces).• Use acronyms, words, or phrases that would be familiar to the recipient.• Use appropriate language.
  38. 38. The Subject Line Book Work: Openings and Closings
  39. 39. The Passive VoiceThe passive voice is an alternative way to make an English sentence. Usually,sentences are “active” voice: Subject + Verb + Object He wrote the report.The passive voice changes the grammar and removes the subject. Object + To Be/To Get/To Have (Past) + Verb (Perfect) + by Subject (Optional) The report was written. The report has been written. The report was written by him.
  40. 40. The Passive VoiceWhy use the passive voice? When you would rather take the focus offthe subject, and on the verb or the object!• The focus of the whole conversation is on the object.• “Don’t worry, it’s already been finished.”• “Have you heard about Eric?”• Creative works.
  41. 41. The Passive VoicePassive voice is great forbusiness e-mails becauseit is polite.Why is it polite? Itdeflects mistakes! Madeby either you, your client,or your boss.
  42. 42. The Passive Voice Change the following sentences to Passive Voice.
  43. 43. Missing Words and Abbreviations Book Work: Missing Words and Abbreviations
  44. 44. General Writing Tips1. Editing is Important2. Have a Clear Idea3. Use Logical Structure4. Read: Copy Styles5. Build Word Power6. Write Smooth Sentences7. (Grammar)
  45. 45. 1 Ideas Clearly state reason for writing Message talks directly to receiver Answers all questions2 Organization Salutation Ideas in body in logical orgder Closing3 Voice Clear Tone Polite4 Word Choice Business Etiquette Plain English5 Sentence Fluency Variety of sentences – short and long. Max 20 words per sentence Don’t repeat sentences6 Conventions Correct Grammar and Spelling Correct Capitalization and Pronunciation7 Presentation Completed Fields (e.g. Subject Line) Good spaceing Easy to Scan
  46. 46. Activity: Word by WordTessy,This is in regards to the low quality of catering services offered by your company. I have made a year contractwith your company and your service has clearly not been up to our standards.I can see that your company has made false promises in providing higher quality services than thecompetition. Indeed, it is really disgraceful to see that your company has built its reputation on such poorservice. I am attaching a copy of my contract with this email and am prepared to terminate the agreement ifthings do not change soon.Kind Regards,Elizabeth Green
  47. 47. Writing E-Mails: Apologies Apology Needed No Apology Needed
  48. 48. The Art of the ApologyApologies can bedivided into:1. The Science of the Apology2. The Art of the Apology
  49. 49. The Science of the Apology1. A detailed account of the situation2. Acknowledgement of the damage done3. Taking responsibility for the situation4. Recognition of your role in the event5. A statement of regret6. Asking for forgiveness7. A promise it won’t happen again8. A form of restitution if possible
  50. 50. Writing E-Mails: ApologiesWhat makes a good business e-mail apology?1. Send the apology as soon as you can – bucket method. Timing compounds.2. Make it clear in the subject line that you’re apologizing.3. Give them a reason to forgive you.4. When it’s really bad, have it signed by an executive.5. Don‘t make excuses, just fix the problem.6. Don’t make a mistake in the apology e-mail.
  51. 51. The Jet Blue Case
  52. 52. The Jet Blue CaseSalutation Dear JetBlue Customers,This short statement at We are sorry and embarrassed. But most of all, we are deeply sorry.the top expresseshumility and remorse.Also sets the tone.This paragraph gives a Last week was the worst operational week in JetBlues seven year history. Following thespecific and detailed severe winter ice storm in the Northeast, we subjected our customers to unacceptableaccount of the incident delays, flight cancellations, lost baggage, and other major inconveniences. The stormand takes full disrupted the movement of aircraft, and, more importantly, disrupted the movement ofresponsibility. Catalyst JetBlues pilot and inflight crewmembers who were depending on those planes to getwas a winter storm them to the airports where they were scheduled to serve you. With the busy Presidentsthat NO blame is Day weekend upon us, rebooking opportunities were scarce and hold times at 1-800-placed on—full JETBLUE were unacceptably long or not even available, further hindering our recoveryresponsibility is taken efforts.by the company.
  53. 53. The Jet Blue CaseThis paragraph details We are committed to you, our valued customers, and are taking immediate correctivetheir commitment to steps to regain your confidence in us. We have begun putting a comprehensive plan inchange and shows place to provide better and more timely information to you, more tools and resourcescustomers the for our crewmembers and improved procedures for handling operational difficulties inpreventive measures the future. We are confident, as a result of these actions, that JetBlue will emerge as ataken. more reliable and even more customer responsive airline than ever before.Here, we see that they Words cannot express how truly sorry we are for the anxiety, frustration andrecognize their role in inconvenience that we caused. This is especially saddening because JetBlue wasthe situation and founded on the promise of bringing humanity back to air travel and making theacknowledge the hurt experience of flying happier and easier for everyone who chooses to fly with us. Weand damage done. know we failed to deliver on this promise last week.
  54. 54. The company now offers Most importantly, we have published the JetBlue Airways Customer Bill of Rights—our officialrecipients restitution. commitment to you of how we will handle operational interruptions going forward—includingThis smartly made details of compensation. I* have a video message to share with you about this industry leadingcommitment to change action.makes JetBlue look goodto existing customersand others. Understand *Note how this is the first and only time in the letter where they use the word I as opposed toart – they did the we. This underscores the personal connection that the founder and CEO of the company isYouTube video apology. trying to establish with his customers.This statement You deserved better—a lot better—from us last week. Nothing is more important thanexpresses regret and regaining your trust and all of us here hope you will give us the opportunity to welcome youlets customers know onboard again soon and provide you the positive JetBlue Experience you have come to expectthat the company is from us.hoping to continue therelationship.Closing Sincerely, David Neeleman Founder and CEO JetBlue Airways
  55. 55. How to Apologize Quickly?
  56. 56. How to Give a Reason to Forgive?
  57. 57. When to Have it Signed by an Executive?
  58. 58. Explanations are Unnecessary
  59. 59. Apology E-mail LanguageLook at the followingapology e-mail language.
  60. 60. Fix the E-Mail Think how the following E- Mails could be improved.
  61. 61. Embedded Questions
  62. 62. Embedded E-Mail Fix the QuestionsThere is a simple way and a complex way to ask a question in English.Simple way is simple enough: Question Word + Verb + Subject Where is the bathroom?The alternative way is both more polite and more complex: Qualifier + Object + Question Word + Subject + Verb Could you possibly tell me where the bathroom is?
  63. 63. Embedded Questions Go over the two worksheets about embedded questions.
  64. 64. Activity: Word by WordTessy,This is in regarding low quality of catering services offered by your company. I have made a year contractwith your company and it seems that it is not up to the standards.I am upset with the services and thinking of getting a refund. I am well aware of your company name andhave approached keeping in mind to get better services which proved to be wrong. It’s a pity when I can seethat your company has made false promises in providing better quality services. I am not interested incarrying out further and would request you to initiate my refund within ten days.It is really disgraceful to see the company has made its reputation in a market about offering best cateringfacilities but somehow it has failed to keep up the promise. I am attaching my contract copy with this emailand looking forward to get my refund soon.Kind Regards,Elizabeth Green
  65. 65. AgendaOnline E-Mail Phrase Database Thank You E-Mails Inquiry E-Mails Grammar: The Third Conditional
  66. 66. E-Mail Phrases Phrase Database at: http://www.jiahuaschool.com.cn /page/emailenglish.aspx
  67. 67. E-Mail Phrases Phrase Database at: Phrase Database at: http://www.jiahuaschool.com.cn http://www.jiahuaschool.com /page/emailenglish.aspx /page/emailenglish
  68. 68. E-Mail Phrases Phrase Database at: Phrase Database at: http://www.jiahuaschool.com.cn http://www.jiahuaschool.com /page/emailenglish.aspx /page/emailenglish
  69. 69. General Writing Tips1. Editing is Important2. Have a Clear Idea3. Use Logical Structure4. Read: Copy Styles5. Build Word Power6. Write Smooth Sentences7. (Grammar)
  70. 70. 1 Ideas Clearly state reason for writing Message talks directly to receiver Answers all questions2 Organization Salutation Ideas in body in logical orgder Closing3 Voice Clear Tone Polite4 Word Choice Business Etiquette Plain English5 Sentence Fluency Variety of sentences – short and long. Max 20 words per sentence Don’t repeat sentences6 Conventions Correct Grammar and Spelling Correct Capitalization and Pronunciation7 Presentation Completed Fields (e.g. Subject Line) Good spaceing Easy to Scan
  71. 71. Writing E-Mails: Thank YouThank You Needed No Thanks Needed
  72. 72. Writing E-Mails: Thank You• Appreciation for any type of special consideration extended by another organization.• Thanking a speaker for a presentation at an annual board meeting.• Customer appreciation letters - thanking them for their patronage.• Thank you letters to employees for exceptional service or performance.• Thanks to an individual or organization for a customer referral.• Commendations to volunteer service workers for their personal contributions.
  73. 73. Thank You E-Mails: Tips1. Make sure it’s appropriate – routine events strange to say thank you.2. Write it promptly – delayed letters seem like obligatory afterthought.3. Remind the recipient – for what are you thanking them?4. Make it personal – thank you letter is a sincere personal statement.5. Don’t be Overly Effusive – but, better to be safe than sorry6. Always Write it to One Person – if it’s to a group, address only the leader7. Make it short and direct – short, sincere, and to the point.
  74. 74. Thank You E-Mails: Useful Phrases Go through the useful phrases and match them with the situation.
  75. 75. Thank You E-Mails: Sample E-Mails Go through the sample e- mails; correct the bad ones.
  76. 76. Writing E-Mails: InquiriesFormat for a letter of Inquiry:1. First Paragraph: Identify yourself, your position, and your institution.2. Second Paragraph: Why you are writing, how you will use the requested information.3. Body: List the specific information you need. Clear and discrete!4. Conclusion: Offer your reader some incentive for responding.
  77. 77. Inquiries: Useful Phrases Go through the useful phrases.
  78. 78. ConditionalsEnglish has four conditionals:1. “Zeroth” Conditional: If you do not feed my cat, he will surely die.2. First Conditional: If I dislike the food, I will stop eating.3. Second Conditional: If I had a billion dollars, I would buy a private jet.4. Third Conditional: If I had moved to New York, I would have found a job working in an Investment Bank.
  79. 79. Conditionals in Email WritingWhat is important in formal writing is the third conditional. Why?• Less direct. Compare the two sentences: We thought you wanted a smoking room. So, we didn’t arrange a non-smoking room. If we had known that you wanted a non-smoking room, we would have arranged one for you.• Explains “what if” scenarios: If the report had been sent on time, we would have gotten the customer.
  80. 80. Using the Third Conditional Go over the worksheet and change the sentences to the third conditional.
  81. 81. Business English Writing E-Mails
  82. 82. AgendaReview: Rules for Writing E-Mails Openings and Closings The Passive Voice Editing an E-Mail and Review
  83. 83. Rules For Writing E-Mails PurposePAS Action Salutation
  84. 84. Rules For Writing E-Mails1. Be informal, not friendly.2. Be concise.3. Remember good mechanics: good grammar, word choice, punctuation, and spelling.4. Scan first. People scan e-mails.5. Reference previous e-mails and address attachments.6. Layout: paragraphs much shorter!
  85. 85. Rules for Writing E-MailsSubject: Excel Training CourseI have found an Excel training course taking place downtown. Seeing as people in our department are uncertain how to useExcel, I think it would be useful for someone in our department to attend. The details are as follows:Name: Spreadsheets for Financial PlanningDates: June 4th to June 8thTime: Weekday EveningsCost: 750 EurosWould you be opposed to paying for the course? I am unable to take the course using my personal funds.Kind Regards,Christopher Thomas
  86. 86. Rules for Writing E-MailsSubject: Mrs. Rothe’s Retirement PartyAs you may know, Mrs. Rothe will be retiring at the end of the year after 15 years at the company. The party will be afterwork on December 20th, in the conference room. Everyone is welcome.We will also be giving Mrs. Rothe a small gift, of which Claudia will organize the collection for. Your contribution is entirelyup to you.Kind Regards,Christopher Thomas
  87. 87. Level of FormalityFormal? Informal?
  88. 88. Level of FormalityFormal• Intercompany• Interdepartment• Apologizing Informal?• Negotiating • Intradepartment• The First E-Mail • Personal E-Mails • Confirming a meeting
  89. 89. Formal English• I want… • I would like…• I want to ask… • I would like to inquire…• Please (do • Please don’t something)… hesitate to (do• I am sorry… something)… • I deeply regret…• I want to tell • I would like to you… inform you…• Goodbye. • Kind Regards…
  90. 90. Formal English: Set Phrases Apologizing Apologizing• “I’m sorry…” “I’m sorry…” “I’m afraid that…”• “I’m afraid that…” “We appreciate your understanding.”• “We haveyour questions, please understanding.”us”. “Know that “If you appreciate yourvaluable to us.” to contact any business is very don’t hesitate• “Know that your business is very valuable to us.”• “If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact us”.
  91. 91. Formal English: Set Phrases Requesting• “I would be extremely grateful if…”• “Could you possibly…”• “Would you mind if we set aside a time to possibly meet face-to-face?”
  92. 92. Formal English: PracticeThe following is ane-mail that is veryrude.Can you make it lessrude?
  93. 93. Formal English: PracticeSUBJECT: With regards to your May 5th orderMr. Smith,We are sorry to inform you that your order was not filled on time. I am afraid that theshipment was caught up in our warehouse.If you would like any more information, please don’t hesitate to contact us. Again, we regretany trouble this may have caused you. If you need compensation, we don’t mind helpingyou in any way. We appreciate your understanding and know that your business is veryvaluable to us.Kind Regards,Christopher Thomas
  94. 94. Embedded Questions
  95. 95. Embedded E-Mail Fix the QuestionsThere is a simple way and a complex way to ask a question in English.Simple way is simple enough: Question Word + Verb + Subject Where is the bathroom?The alternative way is both more polite and more complex: Qualifier + Object + Question Word + Subject + Verb Could you possibly tell me where the bathroom is?
  96. 96. Embedded Questions Go over the two worksheets about embedded questions.
  97. 97. Business English Writing E-Mails
  98. 98. AgendaRules for Writing E-Mails Writing an Apology E-mail The Passive Voice Editing an E-Mail and Review
  99. 99. Rules For Writing E-Mails PurposePAS Action Salutation
  100. 100. Rules For Writing E-Mails1. Be informal, not friendly.2. Be concise.3. Remember good mechanics: good grammar, word choice, punctuation, and spelling.4. Scan first. People scan e-mails.5. Reference previous e-mails and address attachments.6. Layout: paragraphs much shorter!
  101. 101. Rules for Writing E-MailsSubject: Excel Training CourseI have found an Excel training course taking place downtown. Seeing as people in our department are uncertain how to useExcel, I think it would be useful for someone in our department to attend. The details are as follows:Name: Spreadsheets for Financial PlanningDates: June 4th to June 8thTime: Weekday EveningsCost: 750 EurosWould you be opposed to paying for the course? I am unable to take the course using my personal funds.Kind Regards,Christopher Thomas
  102. 102. Rules for Writing E-MailsSubject: Mrs. Rothe’s Retirement PartyAs you may know, Mrs. Rothe will be retiring at the end of the year after 15 years at the company. The party will be afterwork on December 20th, in the conference room. Everyone is welcome.We will also be giving Mrs. Rothe a small gift, of which Claudia will organize the collection for. Your contribution is entirelyup to you.Kind Regards,Christopher Thomas
  103. 103. Business English Writing E-Mails
  104. 104. Rules For Writing E-Mails PurposePAS Action Salutation
  105. 105. Rules for Writing E-MailsSubject: Excel Training CourseI have found an Excel training course taking place downtown. Seeing as people in our department are uncertain how to useExcel, I think it would be useful for someone in our department to attend. The details are as follows:Name: Spreadsheets for Financial PlanningDates: June 4th to June 8thTime: Weekday EveningsCost: 750 EurosWould you be opposed to paying for the course? I am unable to take the course using my personal funds.Kind Regards,Christopher Thomas
  106. 106. Rules for Writing E-MailsSubject: Mrs. Rothe’s Retirement PartyAs you may know, Mrs. Rothe will be retiring at the end of the year after 15 years at the company. The party will be afterwork on December 20th, in the conference room. Everyone is welcome.We will also be giving Mrs. Rothe a small gift, of which Claudia will organize the collection for. Your contribution is entirelyup to you.Kind Regards,Christopher Thomas
  107. 107. Writing E-Mails: Apologies Apology Needed No Apology Needed
  108. 108. The Art of the ApologyApologies can bedivided into:1. The Science of the Apology2. The Art of the Apology
  109. 109. The Science of the Apology1. A detailed account of the situation2. Acknowledgement of the damage done3. Taking responsibility for the situation4. Recognition of your role in the event5. A statement of regret6. Asking for forgiveness7. A promise it won’t happen again8. A form of restitution if possible
  110. 110. Writing E-Mails: ApologiesWhat makes a good business e-mail apology?1. Send the apology as soon as you can – bucket method. Timing compounds.2. Make it clear in the subject line that you’re apologizing.3. Give them a reason to forgive you.4. When it’s really bad, have it signed by an executive.5. Don‘t make excuses, just fix the problem.6. Don’t make a mistake in the apology e-mail.
  111. 111. The Jet Blue Case
  112. 112. The Jet Blue CaseSalutation Dear JetBlue Customers,This short statement at We are sorry and embarrassed. But most of all, we are deeply sorry.the top expresseshumility and remorse.Also sets the tone.This paragraph gives a Last week was the worst operational week in JetBlues seven year history. Following thespecific and detailed severe winter ice storm in the Northeast, we subjected our customers to unacceptableaccount of the incident delays, flight cancellations, lost baggage, and other major inconveniences. The stormand takes full disrupted the movement of aircraft, and, more importantly, disrupted the movement ofresponsibility. Catalyst JetBlues pilot and inflight crewmembers who were depending on those planes to getwas a winter storm them to the airports where they were scheduled to serve you. With the busy Presidentsthat NO blame is Day weekend upon us, rebooking opportunities were scarce and hold times at 1-800-placed on—full JETBLUE were unacceptably long or not even available, further hindering our recoveryresponsibility is taken efforts.by the company.
  113. 113. The Jet Blue CaseThis paragraph details We are committed to you, our valued customers, and are taking immediate correctivetheir commitment to steps to regain your confidence in us. We have begun putting a comprehensive plan inchange and shows place to provide better and more timely information to you, more tools and resourcescustomers the for our crewmembers and improved procedures for handling operational difficulties inpreventive measures the future. We are confident, as a result of these actions, that JetBlue will emerge as ataken. more reliable and even more customer responsive airline than ever before.Here, we see that they Words cannot express how truly sorry we are for the anxiety, frustration andrecognize their role in inconvenience that we caused. This is especially saddening because JetBlue wasthe situation and founded on the promise of bringing humanity back to air travel and making theacknowledge the hurt experience of flying happier and easier for everyone who chooses to fly with us. Weand damage done. know we failed to deliver on this promise last week.
  114. 114. The company now offers Most importantly, we have published the JetBlue Airways Customer Bill of Rights—our officialrecipients restitution. commitment to you of how we will handle operational interruptions going forward—includingThis smartly made details of compensation. I* have a video message to share with you about this industry leadingcommitment to change action.makes JetBlue look goodto existing customersand others. Understand *Note how this is the first and only time in the letter where they use the word I as opposed toart – they did the we. This underscores the personal connection that the founder and CEO of the company isYouTube video apology. trying to establish with his customers.This statement You deserved better—a lot better—from us last week. Nothing is more important thanexpresses regret and regaining your trust and all of us here hope you will give us the opportunity to welcome youlets customers know onboard again soon and provide you the positive JetBlue Experience you have come to expectthat the company is from us.hoping to continue therelationship.Closing Sincerely, David Neeleman Founder and CEO JetBlue Airways
  115. 115. How to Apologize Quickly?
  116. 116. How to Give a Reason to Forgive?
  117. 117. When to Have it Signed by an Executive?
  118. 118. Explanations are Unnecessary
  119. 119. Apology E-mail LanguageLook at the followingapology e-mail language.
  120. 120. Fix the E-Mail Think how the following E- Mails could be improved.
  121. 121. Writing E-Mails: Thank YouThank You Needed No Thanks Needed
  122. 122. Writing E-Mails: Thank You• Appreciation for any type of special consideration extended by another organization.• Thanking a speaker for a presentation at an annual board meeting.• Customer appreciation letters - thanking them for their patronage.• Thank you letters to employees for exceptional service or performance.• Thanks to an individual or organization for a customer referral.• Commendations to volunteer service workers for their personal contributions.
  123. 123. Thank You E-Mails: Tips1. Make sure it’s appropriate – routine events strange to say thank you.2. Write it promptly – delayed letters seem like obligatory afterthought.3. Remind the recipient – for what are you thanking them?4. Make it personal – thank you letter is a sincere personal statement.5. Don’t be Overly Effusive – but, better to be safe than sorry6. Always Write it to One Person – if it’s to a group, address only the leader7. Make it short and direct – short, sincere, and to the point.
  124. 124. The Passive VoiceThe passive voice is an alternative way to make an English sentence. Usually,sentences are “active” voice: Subject + Verb + Object He wrote the report.The passive voice changes the grammar and removes the subject. Object + To Be/To Get/To Have (Past) + Verb (Perfect) + by Subject (Optional) The report was written. The report has been written. The report was written by him.
  125. 125. The Passive VoiceWhy use the passive voice? When you would rather take the focus offthe subject, and on the verb or the object!• The focus of the whole conversation is on the object.• “Don’t worry, it’s already been finished.”• “Have you heard about Eric?”• Creative works.
  126. 126. The Passive VoicePassive voice is great forbusiness e-mails becauseit is polite.Why is it polite? Itdeflects mistakes! Madeby either you, your client,or your boss.
  127. 127. The Passive Voice Change the following sentences to Passive Voice.

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