RELATIOINS BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN The Islamic Perspective for Muslim Youth growing up in North America

Islam Islam is a complete way of life that encompasses all aspects of one’s personal and social life. As such, this divine code of life applies to everyone irrespective of time and place. One of the most important aspects of this code of life is its emphasis on our social obligations. Religion Vs. Way of life

Islam is a complete way of life that encompasses all aspects of one’s personal and social life. As such, this divine code of life applies to everyone irrespective of time and place. One of the most important aspects of this code of life is its emphasis on our social obligations.

Love Our need to love… And to BE loved…

In the beginning… There was Adam (a) Then there was Hawa (a)

There was Adam (a)

Then there was Hawa (a)

Commandment One of the first commandments to Adam: “ Adam, live you and your wife in the Garden.” (2:34) Note: Allah did not say that Adam should live there with his girlfriend, friend, or just a woman. He said to Adam that he should live there with his WIFE. …no lust but a role of husband that comes with responsibilities.

One of the first commandments to Adam:

“ Adam, live you and your wife in the Garden.” (2:34)

Note: Allah did not say that Adam should live there with his girlfriend, friend, or just a woman. He said to Adam that he should live there with his WIFE. …no lust but a role of husband that comes with responsibilities.

Clarification Contrary to popular belief… LOVE DOES EXIST IN ISLAM!!! But in defined parameters

Contrary to popular belief…

LOVE DOES EXIST IN ISLAM!!!

But in defined parameters

Love Defined “The believer is an embodiment of Love, and there is no good in a person who does not love and who is not beloved” It is part of human nature: Innate Feeling Natural phenomenon Do not be afraid of love, but be afraid of what direction you LET your love lead you

“The believer is an embodiment of Love, and there is no good in a person who does not love and who is not beloved”

It is part of human nature:

Innate Feeling

Natural phenomenon

Do not be afraid of love, but be afraid of what direction you LET your love lead you

Factors of Love Marriage/Love is a blessing from Allah. Qur’an uses the word “ libaas” (2:187) or Garments Protectors Companions Friendship

Marriage/Love is a blessing from Allah.

Qur’an uses the word “ libaas” (2:187) or

Garments

Protectors

Companions

Friendship

Disillusionment of Love Loss of the true essence Disillusionment Infatuation-Lust

Loss of the true essence

Disillusionment

Infatuation-Lust

Societal Influences Movies Music Non-Muslims/Muslim friends Norms of the society

Movies

Music

Non-Muslims/Muslim friends

Norms of the society

Effects of Dating/Pre-marital Relations Pseudo-Relationship Fakeness Insincerity “Just to have a good time” Superficial EXPENSIVE In violation of Allah’s commands. Door to major sins.

Pseudo-Relationship

Fakeness

Insincerity

“Just to have a good time”

Superficial

EXPENSIVE

In violation of Allah’s commands.

Door to major sins.

Interaction between Genders Defined in Qur’an “ Come not near adultery, Lo! It is an abomination and an evil way.” (17:32) “ Allah commands justice, kindness, and giving to near relatives, while He forbids sexual misconduct, debauchery and insolence. He instructs you, so that you may receive admonition.” (16:90)

Defined in Qur’an

“ Come not near adultery, Lo! It is an abomination and an evil way.” (17:32)

“ Allah commands justice, kindness, and giving to near relatives, while He forbids sexual misconduct, debauchery and insolence. He instructs you, so that you may receive admonition.” (16:90)

Interaction between Genders In Hadith: “ When there are only two, the third is shaitaan” “ Give me a guarantee (that you will not misuse) what is between your jaws and what is between your legs, and I guarantee you Jannah" Story Time! Snow Ball Effect Reality (not theory)

In Hadith:

“ When there are only two, the third is shaitaan”

“ Give me a guarantee (that you will not misuse) what is between your jaws and what is between your legs, and I guarantee you Jannah"

Story Time!

Snow Ball Effect Reality (not theory)

Islamic Solution Proper Hijaab Marriages earlier than the norms of Today’s Society Arranged Marriages/ Guided Marriages

Proper Hijaab

Marriages earlier than the norms of Today’s Society

Arranged Marriages/ Guided Marriages

Hijaab Contrary to popular belief- Hijaab is a PRACTICE of HAYA and a strong message not just the cloth that sisters wear on their heads Defines the interaction between Men and Women

Contrary to popular belief-

Hijaab is a PRACTICE of HAYA and a strong message not just the cloth that sisters wear on their heads

Defines the interaction between Men and Women

Hijaab Defined “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze from looking at forbidden things and to protect their private parts, that is purer for them, verily Allah is all aware of that what they do” “And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and protect their private parts and not to show off their adornments except that which is apparent” (24:30,31)

“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze from looking at forbidden things and to protect their private parts, that is purer for them, verily Allah is all aware of that what they do”

“And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and protect their private parts and not to show off their adornments except that which is apparent”

(24:30,31)

Marriage in Islam Contrary to popular belief Marriage is the union of two families NOT union of two individuals “ How do I know when I’m ready to be married?”

Contrary to popular belief

Marriage is the union of two families NOT union of two individuals

“ How do I know when I’m ready to be married?”

Answer Questions to ask myself: Am I ready to take on the responsibilities of that role (Husband/Wife/Father/Mother) - Am I mature enough?

Questions to ask myself:

Am I ready to take on the responsibilities of that role (Husband/Wife/Father/Mother)

- Am I mature enough?

Islamic Solution to Dating ARRANGED/Guided MARRIAGES

Misconceptions of Arranged /Guided Marriages Society Thinks/Says: “ How do you marry someone you don’t know?” Solution: Q:“When your dating, are you seeing that person as they are? Or how they want you to see them?” Muslim Extended Family System

Society Thinks/Says:

“ How do you marry someone you don’t know?”

Solution:

Q:“When your dating, are you seeing that person as they are? Or how they want you to see them?”

Muslim Extended Family System

Internal Misconceptions Today’s Muslim Girl’s Fears: He’ll keep me: Barefoot Pregnant Cooking all day long He’ll have no concept of love at all

Today’s Muslim Girl’s Fears:

He’ll keep me:

Barefoot

Pregnant

Cooking all day long

He’ll have no concept of love at all

Internal Misconceptions Today’s Muslim brother thinks: She won’t be cool to hang out with She’ll tell him everything he does is HARAAM. She’ll keep him on lock down

Today’s Muslim brother thinks:

She won’t be cool to hang out with

She’ll tell him everything he does is HARAAM.

She’ll keep him on lock down

Arranged/Guided Marriage Defined Family system implements overlapping checks NO one can force you to marry anyone Built on communication TWO WAY!!!!!!!

Family system implements overlapping checks

NO one can force you to marry anyone

Built on communication

TWO WAY!!!!!!!

Process Communicate Early If you can’t communicate with your parents call someone who can. Trust in Allah If its meant to be, it’ll happen, there is nothing that you can do that will make it happen faster.

Communicate Early

If you can’t communicate with your parents call someone who can.

Trust in Allah

If its meant to be, it’ll happen, there is nothing that you can do that will make it happen faster.

Qualities to look for in a Wife Deen Wealth Family Status Beauty If you want to be successful, Choose Deen

Deen

Wealth

Family Status

Beauty

If you want to be successful, Choose Deen

Qualities to look for in a Husband Deen Amanah Akhlaaq

Deen

Amanah

Akhlaaq

Tips If marriage looks far off: Lower your gaze Avoid situations where you might be overcome by lust Never let shaitaan give you an excuse to talk to a sister/brother, NOW MATTER WHAT THE SITUATION IS

If marriage looks far off:

Lower your gaze

Avoid situations where you might be overcome by lust

Never let shaitaan give you an excuse to talk to a sister/brother, NOW MATTER WHAT THE SITUATION IS

Common Excuses Common excuses that shaitaan will give: He/She is Muslim “ We’re just friends” “ our intentions are good” “ What’s wrong with it?” “ We’re discussing Islam” “ We trust each other and ourselves”

Common excuses that shaitaan will give:

He/She is Muslim

“ We’re just friends”

“ our intentions are good”

“ What’s wrong with it?”

“ We’re discussing Islam”

“ We trust each other and ourselves”

Fear Allah… The only solution