• Share
  • Email
  • Embed
  • Like
  • Save
  • Private Content
Relationships_cihuy
 

Relationships_cihuy

on

  • 385 views

 

Statistics

Views

Total Views
385
Views on SlideShare
385
Embed Views
0

Actions

Likes
0
Downloads
6
Comments
0

0 Embeds 0

No embeds

Accessibility

Categories

Upload Details

Uploaded via as Microsoft PowerPoint

Usage Rights

© All Rights Reserved

Report content

Flagged as inappropriate Flag as inappropriate
Flag as inappropriate

Select your reason for flagging this presentation as inappropriate.

Cancel
  • Full Name Full Name Comment goes here.
    Are you sure you want to
    Your message goes here
    Processing…
Post Comment
Edit your comment

    Relationships_cihuy Relationships_cihuy Presentation Transcript

      • QUIZ GRADES
      • COMMUNICATION
      • A – 38
      • B – 4
      • C – 3 AVG. = 9.033!!!!!
      • D – 0
      • F – 1
      • N/S – 2
    • LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS
      • “ Love means: I want you to be you.”
      • St. Augustine
      • “ I want the loved person to grow & unfold for his own sake, & in his own ways, & not for the purpose of serving me.”
      • Erich Fromm
      • I found my lover on his bed, and my heart was sweet to excess,
      • I shall never be far away (from) you while my hand is in your hand,
      • and I shall stroll with you in every favorite place.
      • How pleasant is this hour, may it extend for me to eternity:
      • since I have lain with you, you have lifted high my heart.
      • In mourning or in rejoicing be not far from me.
      • Poem from the late Egyptian empire
      • Quoted in Bergman, 1987, p. 5
      • Friendship vs. Romantic Love
      • Are love & friendship somehow related? (Keith Davis, 1985)
        • Essential characteristics of friendship
          • Enjoyment
          • Acceptance of one another
          • A mutual trust
          • A respect for each other
          • Mutual assistance
          • Confiding
          • An understanding
          • Spontaneity
        • Things unique to spouses & lovers
          • Fascination
          • Exclusiveness
          • Sexual desire
          • Giving the utmost
      • “Love” vs. “In Love”
      • Romantic relationships are more rewarding, but more volatile & frustrating
      • How do I know if this is really love?
        • How DO you know?
        • Romantic love almost always involves physical responses when you’re close to that person or thinking about him/her
          • DOESN’T USUALLY LAST!!!!
          • Infatuation
        • Where do we get our ideal notion of love?
      • Companionate Love
        • “the affection we feel for those with whom our lives are deeply entwined”
          • Togetherness
          • Trust
          • Sharing
          • Affection
          • A concern for the welfare of the other
          • More than passion
        • This is a realistic love
        • Examples – parent/child, long-term adult relationship
      • Young love is a flame; very pretty, often very hot and fierce but still only light and flickering. The love of the older and disciplined heart is as coals, deep burning, unquenchable…
      • Henry Ward Beecher
      • What researchers say about “love” and being “in love”
        • “ love” = companionate love
        • “ in love” = passionate
      • Prerequisites for love
        • Self-acceptance
          • Must love yourself first
          • Healthy self-esteem
          • Hazan & Shaver (1987) Attachment Theory
            • Avoidant Lovers
            • Anxious-Ambivalent Lovers
            • Secure Lovers
        • Self-disclosure
          • MUST RISK VULNERABILITY
          • This is the difference between love & infatuation
          • Must overcome your fear of being judged or that the other person will leave you
      • Jealousy
        • Why do we get jealous?
          • Emotional reaction to relationship being threatened
          • Loss of face, self-esteem, or feeling special
        • Involves anger, humiliation, anxiety, & depression
        • WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED YOU SHOULD DO WHEN YOU FEEL THIS WAY??????
        • COMMUNICATE!!!!!!!
        • Who gets jealous?
          • Low self-esteem
          • Unhappy with their lives
          • Place high value on things like popularity, wealth, fame, & physical attractiveness
        • Gender differences
          • Men get jealous about sexual infidelity
          • Women get jealous about emotional infidelity
          • Women show jealousy when they feel inadequate & try to make themselves look more attractive
          • Men show jealousy, then feel inadequate, then seek outside relationships
      • Sex without Love
        • Women usually don’t enjoy sex unless it’s in a loving relationship
        • Men more often can enjoy sex without emotional involvement
        • Sex & love are NOT synonymous!
      • Love without Sex
        • Physical contact is important to us; need to be held
        • Laumann et al. (1994) – many couples still prefer to reserve sex for marriage, allowing intimacy to grow
      • Unconditional love
        • Feeling do NOT depend on expectations being met by some outside source
        • Conditional love = stay as long as needs being met
        • Romantic love tends to be conditional
        • Unconditional love is closest to companionate love
      • Maintaining a Relationship
        • Factors involved in the beginning
          • Physical attractiveness
          • Proximity
          • Similarity
        • What happens when things change???
        • Other factors involved in choosing a partner
          • Personality
          • Financial resources
          • Mutual attraction & love
      • The Decline of Passion
        • Becomes “habit”
        • Repeated exposure leads to it becoming less positive over time
        • Usually become disappointed (not the happily ever after you expected)
        • Sex usually becomes ritual and boring
      • Growing Together/Growing Apart
        • Need to keep things exciting
        • Is your partner your best friend?
        • Need to find new common interests over time
        • Don’t have to do EVERYTHING together!
      • Becoming More Intimate
        • Accept themselves as they are
        • Recognize his/her partner for what he/she is
        • Feel comfortable to express himself/herself
        • Deal with your partner’s reactions
      • Love is an active power in man; a power which breaks through the walls which separate man from his fellow men … In love the paradox occurs that two beings become one yet remain two
      • Erich Fromm, 1956
      • Bergmann, M. S. (1987). The anatomy of living . New York: Fawcett Columbine.