Conflict Resolution

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Conflict Styles, Overcoming Defensiveness

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  • Nature – Productive or DestructiveStyles – Five different stylesResolution – Productive ModelApplication – Personal Goals
  • You have the most control over your own behavior – most effective place to begin.
  • Administer Assessment
  • Exercise in Listening and Understanding
  • 5 Scenarios, each requiring a different style
  • Conflict Resolution

    1. 1. Theory and Techniques
    2. 2. OverviewNature of ConflictConflict StylesModel for Conflict ResolutionPractical Application
    3. 3. Nature of Conflict Can be productive  Can lead to increased understanding when a constructive discussion takes place  Can lead to increased group cohesion when the team learns to problem solve together  Can lead to improved self-knowledge and personal development Can be destructive  Conflicting goals turn into personal dislike  Teamwork breaks down  Talent is wasted as people disengage from their work  Vicious downward spiral of negativity and recrimination
    4. 4. Approaches to ConflictTry to change the other person  Usually not very successfulTry to alter the conflict conditions  Add resources, change the playersChange your own behavior  Hard to do but worth the effort
    5. 5. Ability to Work with Each Other All staff members are valuable Be willing to do the little things Be flexible at work Work as a team at all times Must be able to admit a mistake and learn from it Respect all staff Know how to say hello/good morning Realize you set the tone and mood for the day
    6. 6. Avoiding Bad Habits Complaining – Easy and common- an initial reflex when things don’t go our way Resentment – holding on to bitterness can really poison the atmosphere. Learn how to forgive and let go. Worrying – Channel your fears into positive energy; Take proactive steps and gain control over your life. Polarization - Us vs. Them mentality
    7. 7. Developing Good Habits Taking care of yourself- ie; meditation, exercise Trust- Having in belief in what you and others do. Attitude- It’s all about how you present yourself. Have a good attitude. Attitude is a reflection of yourself. Having compassion Show a sense of humor
    8. 8. Don’t let how you feel control you… Let you control how you feel!
    9. 9. Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode InstrumentDeveloped in 1974 by Kenneth W. Thomas and Ralph H. Kilmann
    10. 10. Five Conflict Styles Competing Accommodating Avoiding Compromising Collaborating
    11. 11. I’m Right and You’re Wrong
    12. 12. CompetingCharacteristics When Appropriate to use Win/lose approach  Quick, decisive action required Principled, positional  Vital issues are at stake Aggressive and power-oriented  Unpopular path must be takenNegative Consequences People stop questioning status quo One viewpoint begins to dominate the conversations Others have limited buy-in
    13. 13. Live and Let Live
    14. 14. AccommodatingCharacteristics When Appropriate to use Passive approach  You know you’re wrong Yields position & principle  Must avoid disruption Live and Let Live  Minimal interest in the issueNegative Consequences As a shortcut through the process, important insights are withheld Potential for one person’s needs to be frustrated May lead to loss of respect and recognition
    15. 15. Whatever
    16. 16. AvoidingCharacteristics When Appropriate to use Avoiding the issue  More information is needed Whatever  Resolution is impossible Retreat, withdrawal  Diplomacy is necessary  Strategic AvoidanceNegative Consequences Decisions are made by default and inaction Individual self-esteem erodes and team morale fades Creative inputs are unspoken
    17. 17. Meet Me Halfway
    18. 18. CompromisingCharacteristics When Appropriate to use Each wins and loses something  Temporary settlement Negotiation approach  Mutually exclusive goals Meet me halfway  Consensus has failedNegative Consequences Neither party may be completely satisfied with the result The solution is only short term Both parties may feel as if they had sold out
    19. 19. Highest Common Cause
    20. 20. CollaboratingCharacteristics When Appropriate to use Win/win approach  Issue has high impact on all Cooperative, teamwork  Situation is emotional Highest common cause  Buy-in needs to be increasedNegative Consequences Requires an extensive amount of time Other priorities and tasks are left behind The process can be undermined by those unwilling to embrace
    21. 21. Conflict Style Chart Assertive COMPETING COLLABORATING Argumentative Problem-SolvingASSERTIVENESS - Self COMPROMISING Concessions Unassertive AVOIDING ACCOMMODATING Laissez-Faire Tolerance Uncooperative Cooperative COOPERATIVENESS - Others Adapted from Conflict & Conflict Management by Kenneth Thomas in the Handbook of Industrial and Organizational Psychology
    22. 22. A Model for Resolution
    23. 23. Resolution ModelExplain in Neutral TermsObtain FeedbackAgree on the IssueExplore Possible SolutionsReview & Action Steps
    24. 24. Explain in NeutralTerms Benefit of the Doubt  Allow room to save face Talk about behavior and results  Consider the effect on others  Keep people and problems separate Use “I” statements Never say Never – avoid absolutes
    25. 25. Obtain FeedbackCheck your understandingParaphraseAsk Questions
    26. 26. Steven Covey
    27. 27. Set Ground RulesCreate a safe environment  Respect, Boundaries, ConfidentialityConfirm mutual commitment  Connect to shared values, goals  Focus on long-term benefits
    28. 28. Agree on the Issue Make sure the issue is defined  Ask “why” five different ways  Uncover the underlying driver Emotional vs. Task-Oriented All other issues should be tabled  Deal with one at a time It’s okay to take a break and reconvene later
    29. 29. Brainstorm SolutionsInvolve the other personCome up with multiple solutionsMake sure they are realistic
    30. 30. Take ActionReview and agree on Action StepsSchedule next check-in dateTake Responsibility – Own it!
    31. 31. ComplaintsDistractionsSilence vs. ViolenceDeny/Justify/Attack
    32. 32. The ComplainerAbdication of responsibilityListen and empathizeEngage in adult problem-solving  Let’s analyze the cause  Prioritize – is it worth solving  How does the person plan on solving
    33. 33. DistractersBrings side issues into the discussion  Table the distracters for the time being, for later discussionAttempts to change the issues  Refocus back onto the issue at hand, restate and structureRelives the past  Structure the discussion as going forward, letting go
    34. 34. Silence vs. ViolenceSilence Violence Withholding meaning from the  Forcing meaning into the pool pool of understanding of understanding Often a system of avoidance  Often a system of competition Could be an unwelcome  May be masked as helpful partner to accommodation collaboration Passive-Aggressive  Aggressive Creating a safe environment is  Reasserting ground rules is short-term approach short-term approach Building trust through one-on-  Reinforcing cooperative ones is long-term approach behavior is long-term approach
    35. 35. Deny/Justify/AttackDJA Characteristics Diffusion Techniques Deny – denial that a problem  Paraphrase understanding exists, or that the facts are before defensiveness escalates valid  Keep asking questions until Justify – justify behavior by Point of View is fully explored criticizing the process,  Once POV is exhausted, come situation, or people involved back to the issue and treat Attack – transition from separately defense to offense by verbal  If necessary, allow time and attacks, threats or intimidation space between discussions
    36. 36. Possible Interventions Stop attacking Acknowledge, empathize, normalize Transition from past to future Gently probe for underlying interests Self-disclose; open up the channels Refocus to a neutral objective
    37. 37. Identify the ConflictMatch the Style to the SituationRole Play
    38. 38. Personal Action PlanWrite down a conflict in your lifeWhat style matches the situation?Prepare a discussion outline  Know what you want before you ask for itSet a date & place for discussion  Plan for neutrality and privacy
    39. 39. A positive attitude may not solve allyour problems, but it will annoyenough people to make it worth theeffort – Herm Albright

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