Conflict is … Conflict occurs when people have needs or concerns that appear to be incompatible. Conflict is a difference of opinion.
Conflict management describes the approach of dealing with a conflict by trying to manage it, without necessarily having each party use the same method or process. Conflict resolution describes the approach of working together to create a solution that satisfies the needs and concerns of all parties involved.
Groups Fearing and Avoiding Conflict: Create a unproductive culture through boring, meaningless meetings Operate in the backdrop of covert politics and personal attacks Ignore controversial topics that are critical to collective success Fail to access all the opinions and perspectives of individuals Decrease productivity through disingenuous posturing, manipulating others’ perceptions, and interpersonal risk management
Groups Embracing Conflict and Debate: Engage in meaningful meetings and conversations Extract and exploit the best thinking of all team members Solve real and important problems quickly Minimize politics and maximize productivity Discuss significant and meaningful topics
Types of Conflict Common Disagreements Company Policy Critical Issues
Activity – TKI Assessment Complete the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument according to the directions in the booklet. When complete, score your results.
Conflict Handling Modes Assertiveness is the attempt of the individual to meet their own needs. Cooperativeness is the attempt of the individual to meet the needs of the other person.
Conflict Handling Modes Competing“The ends justify the means.” “My way or the highway.” Accommodating“Kill your enemies with kindness.” “It would be my pleasure.” Avoiding“Leave well enough alone.” “Let’s discuss it later.” Collaborating“Two heads are better than one.” Compromising“Let’s split the difference.” “Let’s make a deal.”
TKI Model Two Heads Better than One Might Makes Right Competitive (win) Collaborative (win-win) Split the Difference Concern For Self: Assertiveness Compromise (find middle ground) Accommodating (yield) Avoidance (delay) Kill with Kindness Leave Well Enough Alone Concern for Others: Cooperativeness
Coaching is facilitating another person’s learning, performance, development, and ability to change.
Flawless Coaching – 8 Key Conversations What outcomes/results are required by when? What progress has been made? To what extent is this worthy of your pursuit? What are the vital-few breakthrough behaviors that will produce required outcomes? What critical decisions and disciplines are strongly linked to the required outcomes? In what ways will resistances and obstacles be navigated? What is the accountability process for progress reflection and evaluation? What are the next steps and when is our next check-in?
Typical Coaching Situations New To Position or Team Performance Issue Groups Development Opportunity
Coaching Methods Every coaching conversation is different and requires its own unique set of methods or techniques from the manager. The following list provides leaders with some tools to have effective coaching sessions.
The SHARE Model S Situation – Provide a “place in time” that can be easily identified. HAHow it was Approached – Describe the exact behavior that was observed. RResult – Describe the importance of the behavior, the contribution or the detraction it caused. E Expectation – What behavior do they need to reinforce or redirect?
Employee Interaction Treat the person respectfully Be accessible and approachable Understand by listening State your position
What you think and feel… What you SAY… Sure, No problem. This is really a good idea. I will work out the details of the implementation. You are CRAZY – there is no way we can possibly do that… Unintended Nonproductive Consequences… He doesn’t handle the truth well, I need to be positive here and manipulate his opinion of me
7 % Verbal 38% Vocal (volume, pitch, rhythm) 55% Body Movement (mostly facial) Listening is 93% non-content Communication is Not Content Oriented
“Should” Statements – telling yourself that things “should” be different than the experience of reality. Directed against the self “should” = guilt and frustration, directed against others “should” = anger
Labeling - #1 in the extreme – “I/they = losers”
Personalization – holding yourself responsible for an event not entirely under your control
Blame – holding others responsible for your problems.
Non-judgmental, non-defensive thinking and behavior