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Leadership Misc

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  • 1.
  • 2. Conflict is …
    Conflict occurs when people have needs or concerns that appear to be incompatible.
    Conflict is a difference of opinion.
  • 3. Conflict management describes the approach of dealing with a conflict by trying to manage it, without necessarily having each party use the same method or process.
    Conflict resolution describes the approach of working together to create a solution that satisfies the needs and concerns of all parties involved.
  • 4. Groups Fearing and Avoiding Conflict:
    Create a unproductive culture through boring, meaningless meetings
    Operate in the backdrop of covert politics and personal attacks
    Ignore controversial topics that are critical to collective success
    Fail to access all the opinions and perspectives of individuals
    Decrease productivity through disingenuous posturing, manipulating others’ perceptions, and interpersonal risk management
  • 5. Groups Embracing Conflict and Debate:
    Engage in meaningful meetings and conversations
    Extract and exploit the best thinking of all team members
    Solve real and important problems quickly
    Minimize politics and maximize productivity
    Discuss significant and meaningful topics
  • 6. Types of Conflict
    Common Disagreements
    Company Policy
    Critical Issues
  • 7. Activity – TKI Assessment
    Complete the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument according to the directions in the booklet. When complete, score your results.
  • 8. Conflict Handling Modes
    Assertiveness is the attempt of the individual to meet their own needs.
    Cooperativeness is the attempt of the individual to meet the needs of the other person.
  • 9. Conflict Handling Modes
    Competing“The ends justify the means.”
    “My way or the highway.”
    Accommodating“Kill your enemies with kindness.”
    “It would be my pleasure.”
    Avoiding“Leave well enough alone.”
    “Let’s discuss it later.”
    Collaborating“Two heads are better than one.”
    Compromising“Let’s split the difference.”
    “Let’s make a deal.”
  • 10. TKI Model
    Two Heads Better
    than One
    Might Makes
    Right
    Competitive
    (win)
    Collaborative
    (win-win)
    Split the Difference
    Concern
    For Self:
    Assertiveness
    Compromise
    (find middle ground)
    Accommodating
    (yield)
    Avoidance
    (delay)
    Kill with Kindness
    Leave Well Enough Alone
    Concern for Others:
    Cooperativeness
  • 11.
  • 12. Coaching is facilitating another person’s learning, performance, development, and ability to change.
  • 13. Flawless Coaching – 8 Key Conversations
    What outcomes/results are required by when?
    What progress has been made?
    To what extent is this worthy of your pursuit?
    What are the vital-few breakthrough behaviors that will produce required outcomes?
    What critical decisions and disciplines are strongly linked to the required outcomes?
    In what ways will resistances and obstacles be navigated?
    What is the accountability process for progress reflection and evaluation?
    What are the next steps and when is our next check-in?
  • 14. Typical Coaching Situations
    New To Position or Team
    Performance Issue
    Groups
    Development Opportunity
  • 15. Coaching Methods
    Every coaching conversation is different and requires its own unique set of methods or techniques from the manager. The following list provides leaders with some tools to have effective coaching sessions.
  • The SHARE Model
    S Situation – Provide a “place in time” that can be easily identified.
    HAHow it was Approached – Describe the exact behavior that was
    observed.
    RResult – Describe the importance of the behavior, the contribution or the
    detraction it caused.
    E Expectation – What behavior do they need to reinforce or redirect?
  • 20. Employee Interaction
    Treat the person respectfully
    Be accessible and approachable
    Understand by listening
    State your position
  • 21. Characteristics of Effective Feedback
  • 28. Partnering to release trapped value in leaders, teams, and organizationsSM
  • 29.
  • 30.
  • 31. What you think and feel…
    What you SAY…
    Sure, No problem. This is really a good idea. I will work out the details of the implementation.
    You are CRAZY – there is no way we can possibly do that…
    Unintended Nonproductive Consequences…
    He doesn’t handle the truth well, I need to be positive here and manipulate his opinion of me
  • 32. 7 % Verbal
    38% Vocal (volume, pitch, rhythm)
    55% Body Movement (mostly facial)
    Listening is 93% non-content
    Communication is Not Content Oriented
  • 33.
  • 34. Six Purposes for Human Communication
    Get needs met
    Figure things out
    Make sense of ambiguous situations
    Gain advantage
    Build collaborative relationships
    Express and understand ourselves
  • 35. Hidden Agendas
    Hidden Agendas are dysfunctional tacit assumptions
    that we assume help us:
    1) to build up and support your position in the world
    2) to promote ulterior motives and needs.
    • I’m Good – I am the hero of my stories
    • 36. I’m Good (But you’re not)
    • 37. You’re Good (But I’m not)
    • 38. I’m Helpless, I Suffer
    • 39. I’m Blameless
    • 40. I’m Fragile
    • 41. I’m Tough
    • 42. I Know it All
  • Listening Derailers
    • Comparing – You don’t allow all data in because you’re too busy seeing if you measure up
    • 43. Mind Reading – You distrust what people say, trying to figure out what they really mean
    • 44. Rehearsing – You don’t have time to listen when you are rehearsing what you are going to say next
    • 45. Filtering – Selectively listen to only high-priority emotional issues and mind-wander during the rest
    • 46. Judging – Negatively label people or messages either prior or in midstream communication
    • 47. Dreaming – Half-listening; topics brought up trigger memories that you dive into
    • 48. Identifying – Refer everything back to your own experience & you interrupt to tell your stories
    • 49. Advising – You are the great problem-solver, and you typically miss the person’s feelings & pain
    • 50. Sparring – You are arguing and debating with everyone – i.e. put-downs; compliment discounting
    • 51. Being Right – Avoid criticism or being wrong at all costs – twist facts, shouting, accusations, etc.
    • 52. Derailing – Suddenly changing the subject – i.e. joking it off – using humor to derail the conversation
    • 53. Placating – Right...Right...Yes. Wanting people to like you, you agree with everything instead of listening
  • Twisted Thinking
    • All or Nothing – if a situation is short of perfect it must be a total failure
    • 54. Overgeneralization – single events are interpreted as never-ending patterns with the use of “always” or “never”
    • 55. Mental Filtering – single negative details are dwelt on excessively, negatively distorting remembrance of complete & balanced reality
    • 56. Discounting the Positive – the outright rejection of positive experiences. Creates residues of joylessness & inadequacy
    • 57. Jumping to Conclusions – “Mind-Reading” is arbitrarily (without knowing) concluding that someone is reacting negatively to you. “Fortune-Telling” is the prediction of worse-case scenarios
    • 58. Magnification – the exaggeration of personal problems/shortcomings and the minimization of desirable qualities
    • 59. Emotional Reasoning – assuming that negative emotions / fears reflect reality
    • 60. “Should” Statements – telling yourself that things “should” be different than the experience of reality. Directed against the self “should” = guilt and frustration, directed against others “should” = anger
    • 61. Labeling - #1 in the extreme – “I/they = losers”
    • 62. Personalization – holding yourself responsible for an event not entirely under your control
    • 63. Blame – holding others responsible for your problems.
  • Non-Verbal Listening
    • Non-judgmental, non-defensive thinking and behavior
    • 64. Avoid assumptions
    • 65. Move toward to other
    • 66. Lean forward
    • 67. Uncross arms & legs
    • 68. Make eye contact
    • 69. Project warmth and stay focused mentally
    • 70. Smile
    • 71. Let your responses show on your face
    • 72. Be comfortable with pauses, silence, and strong emotion
  • Methods
     
    Observations
    Thoughts
    Feelings
    Needs
     
    Attributes
     
    Direct
    Immediate
    Clear, complete, accurate
    Straight
    Supportive, caring, compassionate
     
  • 73. The Progression to Connection:
     
    Interest – that which engages, arouses, and persuades
     
    2. Attention – a condition of readiness involving a selective narrowing or focusing of consciousness and receptivity
     
    3. Focus – concentrated and directed attention
     
    4. Connection – synchronous mutual attachment at multiple layers and levels