New years perspective presentation 2013.02.05


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A presentation I made based largely on Stephen Covey's book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective people.

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  • When: Saturday, Jan. 5, 2013 @ 1:00pm-4:00pm                    12:45 - 1:00 PMArrivals/Networking (light refreshments provided)1:00-1:20PM Introduction- Why the 7 Habits 1:20-2:00PM Influence - Understand What You Really Control 2:00-2:15PM BREAK 2:15-3:15PM Figure Out What You Really Want 3:15-3:45PM Take Yourself Seriously – Manage Your Life Like a Business 3:45PM-4:00 Question & Answers   Location:  COUNTRY FINANCIAL BUILDING (in the SW plaza right off of US-60/Stapley Drive, behind Red Robbin) 1640 S. STAPLEY DRIVE MESA, AZ 85204
  • 2 minSo, without giving you my entire life story, I hope I’ve made the following point.That there’s this big misconception in our society today about success.It’s not a straight line. And it certainly doesn’t mean the same thing to everybody.We all have to define it for ourselves.And that’s what we’re here to start doing today.
  • 5 minEverything we’re going to talk about today is 100% applicable to yourself as an individual or your business.Take a minute to write down your top 3-5 principles right now on your Personal Focus Tool. They can be from this list or not, doesn’t matter, as long as they matter to you. Take some time, think about why, introduce yourself to your neighbor, start getting to know the people around you. And be a good interviewer for your neighbor, ask what they are, and then pick one each, ask “why!?” give a good answer. I’ll give you 2 minutes to think and pick things, and then 8 minutes to talk. Any questions?
  • 3 minI only read the 7 Habits a few months ago, and not only is it the best book on the subject I’ve ever read, but it’s one of the best books in general that I’ve ever read!And Covey’s really elegant graphic here sums it up. Everything’s in order for a reason. We have a maturity spectrum from dependence to independence to interdependence. And to move up, Covey argued that we have to follow the steps in order.To achieve the Private Victory of going from a dependent to an independent, we have to:Be proactiveBegin with the end in mindPut first things firstThis is what we’re going to focus on today. It’s more than enough for the rest of our 3 hours, and plenty to work on for a few months. It’s taken me years and I’m still doing it. Had I had this framework when I started though, I would have been a lot more effective.And just real quick to prove the point of why it has to go in order. Habit 4 is think win win. We can’t have win win until we know what winning is for ourselves. And to do that we have to get to self-reliance, so, without further adieu…
  • 10 minEngage – Group DiscussionQ Audience: What does it mean to be proactive or reactive in terms of our behavior?WhiteboardProactiveReactiveRed – ExamplesBlue – Language Proactive: I can, I will, I preferReactive: I can’t, I must, if onlySpeak to slides*next*
  • 10 minNow that we know what the difference is between proactive and reactive, lets take a closer look at the human behavior process.First, we have our inputs – Stimuli or Influences affect usThen, we have some kind of thought process in our consciousnessThen, we respond, we act, we behave accordingly.Influence & StimuliDNA, parents, friends, coworkers, etc.*Point to board, discussion* What are some reactive things people might say about all these inputs? (language to absolve themselves of responsibility)What are some things a proactive person might say? (recognize and leverage strengths, chose effective environments, change your surroundings)Consciousness – How we process information, stimuli, things that influence usThree brains: 1. Reptilian, 2. Mammalian, 3. Human1. Instinctive - Timeless – Must be for basic survivalAlways on, just is because it has to be Can I eat it?Can I matewith it?Will it kill me?2. Reactive - Now / in the moment (milliseconds) – Emotions Basis for empathy, reciprocity, relationships & the beginnings of communityBased on the 5 senses - Does it make me feel good? Touch, taste, sound, smell, looks3. Proactive - Future – Complex thoughtsArt, literature, politics, scienceReturn on investment? (do math)Sustainable? What’s the long-term benefit?It’s the only brain that can read, write, and do arithmetic!Response1.Q: What happens when we see something we really want to eat?Q: What happens when we see someone we really want to mate with?Q: What happens when we see something that we’re sure is really going to kill us?Salivate. Heart rate goes up. Freeze, fight, or flight.All this level of consciousness knows is on and off.2. Q: How about when something – pick your sense – feels good?We like it.Q: What happens when something feels bad though?We don’t like it. That’s it! We’ve felt an emotion, but we haven’t DONE anything yet.Reptiles and the rest of the mammals stop thinking there, and take action based on those levels of consciousness. Be grateful you have one more level of conscious opportunity to think before making noises and moving your limbs.3.*Rocky* Yes!Q: What’s he so happy about in this picture?He’s not in his USA shorts, he didn’t just win anything.He had a goal, made a plan, decided, committed, trained, and in this picture he met his behavior goals – he’s achieved a state of being. TIME CHECK - Small Group ExerciseReactive retrospect – Describe a situation when you responded in a reactive way, and what were some proactive approaches you could have taken instead?Success story – Describe a time and situation when you set decided to do something beyond your capability at the time, and you learned, trained and achieved.Going forward – Write on a blank sheet of paper:People who inspire me to be proactive, write a few namesPeople who discourage me from being proactive, write a few names
  • 10 minExplain PictureProactive focus – lots of grey spaceReactive focus – lots of white spaceWith a proactive focus, we concern our consciousness with what we have control and influence overA reactive focus, we concern our consciousness with what we do not have control or influence overEngage audience & write on screen3 types of ProblemsDirect controlWhat you thinkWhat you sayHow you behaveInfluenceChildrenFriendsFamilyWorkCommunitiesRelationshipsNo Control National Debt Terror Weather *The past*Individual Exercise – Draw these circles on a blank piece of paper, andWrite at least 1 thing in you can drop from your circle of concern today that you have no control or influence over.Good, now that you’ve made room in your mind, in your life, now that you’ve made the time,2. What’s one thing that you can start thinking more about, that you can then do something about, that would have significant positive impact in your personal life?In your professional life?And then we’ll go on break.
  • 10 min*pass handout for Funeral Thought Experiment*What do you want them to say / think in 3 years; how do you want to be remembered?
  • 2 min*Speak to slide*
  • 8 min – speak to slideOur Center – is the lens through which we see the world.And it is the center for 4 very important things – our security, our guidance, our wisdom, and our power.1. Security - If we don't have a clear identity, we can only have at best a fuzzy sense of worth, and therefore marginal self esteem and personal strength, and are therefore generally insecure. By proactively creating our identity in line with our personal values, then we will have a secure sense of self worth, good self esteem, and the personal strength to continue to change and shape our current selves into our future vision of our selves.2. Guidance - If we don't have any direction in life, then we are without guidance, and have no reference point to make decisions. We have no goal to achieve, no criteria to judge the merit of ourdecisions, or units to measure the impact. We are lost in the winds of societal pressures and the seas of our own emotions. But, if we have a strong inner direction, then we are stable, we know what we want and why we want it.3. Wisdom - The more limited our perspective, and the less we comprehend about the world we live in, then the less our world will make sense to us. The broader our perspective, the more we comprehend, and the more we understand,then the more we will understand how and why the world is the way it is and what we can influence. 4. Power - If we are immobile or act as a puppet, then we are acting with very limited power. The more disciplined self control we have, the more strength we have to chose our actions and to accomplish -- we are powerful when our actions match our intentions.
  • 10 min – Individual ExerciseNow that we know how to think about our center and are aware of the impacts.*Hand out table of centers*Read the two pages of centers and impacts.Identify what resonates with you.And market the impacts that you know you’ve lived in your security, guidance, wisdom, and power. (e.g. put a line next to something that has applied to you in the past, and a circle on things that you know apply to you now.)
  • 10 min – Speak to slideCovey wrote, “The key to the ability to change is a changeless sense of who you are, what you are about and what you value.”Which is why I connected the dots of his tools in a new way that I call The Personal Focusing tool.It helps us focus our consciousness on the three most important times of our lives:What is timeless, based on our principles.The present tense, which includes our roles and affirmationsThe future tense, our goalsTimeless – Mission, beliefs, valuesWe the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.In over 200 years, there’s been a total of 27 amendments to this document, 10 of which were the original Bill of Rights.It wasn’t written overnight, and neither should our mission statements be. But we have to start somewhere! So, how about here? How about…on the next slide?Present Tense – Roles & AffirmationsQ: What are some roles that we play in our lives? Some of the different hats we wear?DiscussionQ: Remembering the dimensions of our funeral exercise, and what’s important to us, take a moment right now to write what you think your key roles are on your Personal Focusing Tool.Future Tense - GoalsEveryone should know who this guy is, who is he?Kennedy. Yes, and this is him in front of congress, announcing to the world, having not even put any objects in orbit yet, we were going to land a live human on the moon – and bring him back – alive!And when presidentKennedy was asked, “Why chose going to the moon as our goal?”He said, “We choose to go to the moon… and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard…, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win, and the others, too.”
  • 10-15 minutesIndividual Exercise:Everyone take 5-10 minutes to draft a personal Mission Statement (or mission statement for your business if you prefer.) And draft the complementing beliefs that it depends on and values that add definition.Depending on time, I’ll discuss with volunteers who want to share with the group.
  • 23 minEveryone write 1-3 goals for each of your roles. 10 minutes – write goals10 minutes – Challenge: find people in the room with the same goalsAnd just for clarification, it’s totally unrealistic to do this in 10 minutes. Think of this as an initial brainstorming & sharing session.
  • 10 minPitfalls, affirmations with false centersGroup Exercise10 minutes – Draft affirmations, Time permitting, individuals share with group, and get feedback=========Extra example:for Role as a Parent: "It is deeply satisfying (emotional) that I (personal) respond (present tense) with wisdom, love, firmness, and self-control (positive) when my children misbehave.”
  • “If you are an effective manager of your self, your discipline comes from within; it is a function of your independent will. You are a disciple, a follower, of your own deep values and their source. And you have the will, the integrity, to subordinate your feelings, your impulses, your moods to those values.”Take yourself seriously – manage your life like a business
  • 5 min – (Buffer Handouts)Group DiscussionGroup elicit - What are some examples of these things?
  • 5 min – (Buffer Handouts)Show full image - group discussionSo, where do we want to spend most of our our time!? Q2!When we do that, we shrink everything else. As one of my bosses would say last year, “we want to think ahead of the bang.” Yes.. He was a military guy…
  • 5 min – (Buffer Handouts)DiscussionIndividual exerciseFill in your own activities, peoples names in your life, and about how much time you currently spend on these activities and people.ExerciseDraw a table with your headings “Urgent” and Important” and fill in two things: What’s currently going on in your life in each categoryAbout what % of your time goes there
  • 5 min – (Buffer Handouts)Speak to 4th gen organizer hand-out
  • 5 min – (Buffer Handouts)
  • New years perspective presentation 2013.02.05

    2. 2. Daniel Burillo 2013 Common Social Misconception
    3. 3. Daniel Burillo 2013 Why the 7 Habits? 1.  2.  Commitment to timeless principles is our foundation for our character ¤  E.g. integrity, humility, fidelity, temperance, courage, justice, patience, industry, simplicity, modesty, fairness, human dignity, service, quality, growth, patience, nurturance, encouragement, optimism, affirmation, balance, learning, The Golden Rule 3.  Sustained superior performance requires a balanced focus on achieving results and on building capability Character   Personality   Who you are   How you look   What you do   What you say / how you sound   Behavior driven by values   Behavior driven by etiquette   Improved through long-term personal development, self reflection, training, and commitment   Improved through short-term personal development, self awareness, conscious acting, and practice  
    4. 4. Daniel Burillo 2013 What are the 7 Habits? You take care of me I am self-reliant We are greater together Steven Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
    5. 5. “I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.” – Henry David Thoreau Habit 1 – Be Proactive
    6. 6. Daniel Burillo 2013 Proactive vs. Reactive Language ¨  “The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language.” – George Carlin ¨  “The language of reactive people absolves them of responsibility, whereas proactive language is about considering alternatives, making choices, and committing to one’s own actions.” ¨  “When we are reactive, we surrender what we do to our environment and how we feel.” – Stephen Covey
    7. 7. Daniel Burillo 2013 The Human Behavior Process Input / Stimuli / Influence à Consciousness à Response
    8. 8. Daniel Burillo 2013 What We Really Control – Our Consciousness ¨  3 types of Problems / Opportunities ¤  Direct control n  What you think n  What you say n  How you behave ¤  Influence n  Children, friends, family, work n  Relationships ¤  No Control or influence n  Weather n  The past n  International politics (at least for anyone reading this) Reactive Focus Circle of Concern Circle of Control & Influence Proactive Focus Our Consciousness No Concern
    9. 9. The question, “what is the meaning of life?” is an arrogant question. It presumes that the universe is responsible to answer to us. We are the ones with the conscious ability to learn, to think, to make choices, and to act. And so it is we who are responsible to decide what to live for, and we who are responsible for the meaning of our lives. Habit 2 – Begin with the End in Mind
    10. 10. Daniel Burillo 2013 Habit 2 – Begin with the end in mind ¨  Thought exercise… ¨  Imagine your funeral in 3 years; what do these people have to say about you? Area of Activity Character Contributions Achievements Family Friends Work Church / Community Service, etc.
    11. 11. Daniel Burillo 2013 4 Common Pitfalls in our Society 1.  Being so busy with day-to-day activities that we forget what’s important to us. 2.  Acting out haphazard scripts given to us by our family, friends, coworkers, DNA, and environment. 3.  Confusing management with leadership. “Management is efficiency in climbing the ladder of success; leadership determines whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall.” – Stephen Covey 4.  Having non-principle based centers: spouse, family, money, work, possessions, pleasure, friends, enemies, church, self.
    12. 12. Daniel Burillo 2013 Our Center - The lens through which we see the world 1.  Security – our identity and sense of worth; source of self-esteem and personal strength 2.  Guidance – our source of direction in life; reference for our decision-making 3.  Wisdom – our perspective on life; source of worldly comprehension and understanding 4.  Power – our capacity to act; our strength to accomplish Strong inner direction Insecure Parts and principles properly relate Act according to own values Sense of high intrinsic worth Dependence on social mirror Totally inaccurate map of the world, nothing seems to fit Immobilization or a puppet
    13. 13. Daniel Burillo 2013 Identify Your Center(s) Money Work Posessions Pleasure FriendEnemy Church Self Spouse Family PRINCIPLES
    14. 14. Daniel Burillo 2013 The Personal Focusing Tool ¨  Timeless ¤  Mission ¤  Beliefs ¤  Values ¨  Present Tense ¤  Roles ¤  Affirmations ¨  Future Tense ¤  Goals
    15. 15. Daniel Burillo 2013 A Mission Statement ¨  Is your personal articulation of yourself. It is the self-imposed standard by which you judge yourself, measure your effectiveness, and realize your sense of self-worth. ¨  It focuses on who you want to be, your character, ¤  What you want to do in terms of contributions & achievements, and ¤  It is written in terms of principles such that it is timeless and independent of material resources ¨  Recommendations: ¤  Use the structure suggested, or make up your own ¤  Look for more examples online and do what makes sense to you, what’s clear to you, what resonates with you. ¤  Read it every morning. ¤  Rewrite, revise, and update once a week as necessary.
    16. 16. Daniel Burillo 2013 Mission Statement continued… ¨  Example structure: ¤  To be a character and make contributions towards some achievement. ¤  I want to be this character because I value the following principles: n  Principle 1 – Your Definition n  Principle 2 – Your Definition n  … ¤  I want to make these contributions and achievements because I believe: n  Belief 1 – Your Definition n  Belief 2 – Your Definition n  …
    17. 17. Daniel Burillo 2013 Mission Statement continued… ¨  Organization Examples: ¤  USA: We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America. ¤  Boy Scouts of America: To prepare young people to make ethical and moral choices over their lifetimes by instilling in them the values of the Scout Oath and Law. n  Oath: On my honor I will do my best to do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law; to help other people at all times; to keep myself physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight. n  Law: A scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent. ¤  Freemasons: To help good men become better men.
    18. 18. Daniel Burillo 2013 Effective Goals ¨  Focus primarily on results rather than activity ¨  Identify where you want to be ¨  Give important information on how to get there ¨  Tell you when you have arrived ¨  Give meaning and purpose to all you do ¨  Translate into daily activities by providing a target for proactive behavior
    19. 19. Daniel Burillo 2013 Effective Affirmations ¨  Should be aligned to your Personal Mission & Principles ¨  Can be specific to roles or just be general ¨  A good affirmation has five basic ingredients, it's:  1.  Personal 2.  Positive 3.  Present tense 4.  Visual 5.  Emotional ¨  Example: Communicating With Others ¤  When people come to me with problems, I consider both the content of what they say and how they are feeling before I respond. It is deeply satisfying when I am able to understand others and help them beyond their words. ¨  Example: Getting Things Done ¤  I like to break work into pieces and schedule sprints to get those done. I feel relaxed and in control when I’m making regular progress.
    20. 20. “If you are an effective manager of your self, your discipline comes from within; it is a function of your independent will. You are a disciple, a follower, of your own deep values and their source. And you have the will, the integrity, to subordinate your feelings, your impulses, your moods to those values.” – Stephen Covey Habit 3 – Put First Things First
    21. 21. Daniel Burillo 2013 Time Management Matrix     Urgent   Not  Urgent   Important     I   Crises   Pressing  problems   Deadline-­‐driven  projects     II   Planning  &  prepara8on   Preven8on   Rela8onship  building   Recrea8on   Not  Important     III   Interrup8ons   Some  calls,  mail,  reports   Some  mee8ngs   Pressing  ma?ers   Popular  ac8vi8es     IV   Trivia   Busy  work   Some  mail,  phone  calls   Time  wasters   Pleasant  ac8vi8es  
    22. 22. Daniel Burillo 2013 Results of Time Spent in Each Quadrant     Urgent   Not  Urgent   Important     I   Stress   Burnout   Crisis  management   Always  puFng  out  fires     II     Vision,  perspec8ve   Balance   Discipline   Control   Few  crises   Not  Important     III   Short-­‐term  focus   Crisis  management   Feel  vic8mized,  out  of  control   Shallow  or  broken  rela8onships     IV   Total  irresponsibility   Fired  from  jobs   Dependent  on  others     or  ins8tu8ons  for  basics  
    23. 23. Daniel Burillo 2013 Time Management Strategy     Urgent   Not  Urgent   Important     I   Do  it  now!     II     Decide  when  to  do  it   Not   Important     III   Delegate  it     IV   Dump  it   ¨  Social Misconception – That the key to being in Quadrant 2 is discipline. ¤  It’s not. ¨  The key pitfall of not having a Quadrant 2 focus is that people’s priorities have not become deeply planted in their hearts and minds. ¨  To know what’s important – one first has to know what his or her mission is.
    24. 24. Daniel Burillo 2013 Be Organized, Schedule Your Priorities A Planner should meet 6 Criteria 1.  Coherence – from mission, through vision, roles, goals, priorities, and plans. These things should be in our organizers. 2.  Balance – We should see our roles every day and keep balance between health, family, community, career, and personal development. 3.  Quadrant 2 focus – Plan at a week-level view, and schedule a “Sabbath” day for uplifting or inspirational purposes, including reviewing the last week and planning the next. 4.  A “People” Dimension – When dealing with things, aim for efficiency. When dealing with people, aim for effectiveness. Our tools need to reflect that value, and not create guilt when relationships go off-schedule. 5.  Flexibility – The tool should be personally tailored to you, your style, your needs, your comfort. You should enjoy using it. 6.  Portability – you should be able to always have it on your person.
    25. 25. Daniel Burillo 2013 Final Thoughts ¨  “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Aristotle ¨  “If it’s not helping me to achieve my goals in some way, it’s mental clutter and it’s out.” – Scott Hanselman ¨  Audit your life ¨  Turn off and dump distraction ¨  Consider your system’s structure – Is it efficient? Effective? ¨  Update and or consolidate your toolbox ¨  Schedule work sprints ¨  Schedule 1 hour per week to reflect on the last week and plan the next one. Ask yourself 3 questions and build a journal: ¤  What went well? ¤  What didn’t go well? Or what do I want to never happen again? ¤  What did I learn?
    26. 26. Daniel Burillo 2013 Personal Diagnostic Tools Recommended introspection for developing your Personal Focusing Tool ¨  Meyers Briggs ¤ ¨  Strengths Finder 2.0 ¤
    27. 27. Daniel Burillo 2013 Q & A