Homemade cereal

Homemade Fiber One cereal
Why pay store prices when you can make your own at home for a fraction of the cost?
“Because I don’t know how to make my own.”
“It was a rhetorical question. You weren’t actually supposed to answer it.”
“Oh. Awkward. So what do I say now?”
“Nothing. You say nothing at all.”
“…”
“Are you still here?”
“Well, yes I…”
“Again, rhetorical.”
“Oh. Uh, ahhh…”
“Good bye now.”

Homemade Fiber One cereal
Why pay store prices when you can make your own at home for a fraction of the cost?
How to make your own cereal in 10 easy steps

Step 1: Find and old cardboard box and tear into small pieces
Exact sizes aren’t important. Just make sure they stay nice and dry.

Step 2: Capture unsuspecting worm
Now it’s time to hire an employee.
Do your best to keep the worm in one piece as this will mean fewer workers’ comp claims, and more importantly, less worm guts on your fingers.
Note: Worm need not be of the happy, smiling variety.
Any old earthworm from your yard will work just fine.

Step 3: Give cardboard to worm
The cardboard will serve as a comfy bed and double as worm food for so long as you choose to keep him employed.
Since he will be working for food and lodging, you don’t need to worry about taxes. Also, worms don’t tend to live long (especially on a strict cardboard diet), so you needn’t worry about a retirement plan either.

Step 4: Observe worm’s reaction
It is not uncommon to find your new hire isn’t thrilled about his job description.

Step 5: Negotiate with worm
NOTICE:
Do Not Feed Worm
Since worms are incapable of writing and speech, they have as of yet been unable to unionize. Consequently, you are legally free to starve them into obedience.
A few days without food should bend your employee to your will.

Step 6: Reintroduce worm to cardboard
Employees should resume their duties as soon as the labor strike has been resolved.

Step 7: Ensure worm has reached maximum capacity
In order to help each employee reach their maximum potential, ensure they are given ample opportunity to consume cardboard.
A slight shift in employee hue will indicate you are ready to move on to the next step.
Remember, green is good!

Step 8: Allow worm some private time
Remember how you made sure the cardboard stayed dry at step 1?
Well, this step may take a while.
But don’t worry. Provide a copy or two of Home and Garden and nature will eventually run its course.

Step 9: Collect worm feces
Once your employee is done laboring in the outhouse, simply collect the product of his efforts.

Step 10: Eat
Place your fresh cereal in a bowl, add milk, and enjoy.
The best part is how good saving money tastes!

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Homemade cereal

by Dakrat on Mar 30, 2011

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Homemade cereal — Presentation Transcript