1. Living Third World Style
FOR THE MOST part , I AM AN EASY man TO PLEASE. Produce nice warm weather and a box of
unique Ritz crackers and i am generally happy. When you bring monkeys into the picture, I'm in
heaven. Panama amazed me when I first got down right here however long ago. Compact country of
panama City is pretty modern in that it's lots of tall structures and a pretty durable banking center, but
it is the men on horses and kerbside meat shacks simply outside the city, that read hilariously out-of-
date. In a sense, this comparison , this juxtaposition of old and new , of tradition and
contemporariness is what keeps me on my toes.
Because the us military occupied compact country of panama for so long, we now have way more
chain dining places than most countries in Central America. We now have Quizno's, Burger King, and
my personal favorite, Wendy's exactly where I can continue my ongoing french-fry research as to
whether or not presently there really is a difference between the actual medium and biggie portions.
Most of these fast-food joints will provide to your house, via small noisy motorbikes. You would think
this kind of service would nourish the country's lazy, couch potato demographic but Panamanians, for
the most part , are not fat.
Mistake: Arriving in compact country of panama in September with no rain jacket. The elements here
is hard to complain about though: regarding 80 year-round. The rainy season lasts a good 5 months,
during which you can expect a torrential downpour every few days. It's during this season that I've
come to experience new levels of rain , new intensities of rain that before I never knew been around.
Just yesterday, for instance , it was raining so hard that this gushing rivulet of rainwater raised some
kid's perform truck--the kind with an orange body and yellow roof--and drifted it all the way down to
Via Argentina.
During rain storms, i come up with lyrics. Should you weren't aware, i'm a bit of a underground rap
artist, and occasionally , I like to use my articles as advertising vehicles for this talent. Here are a few
lines i threw together regarding Panama:
"yeah I like to go out to seashores
Las Palmas, you know.
Cheaters envy basically want to get grimey wit' it down in Coronado
Coral lodge in San Blas
And when I make it happen , I just sit back and chill."
The safety standard here is pretty high, though it may be the occasional murder or robbery that
simply jogs my memory of that all-too-cliché style of 'living within the third world'. I've been robbed
and really , it's not all that bad : In fact, I say if you can't beat em, sign up for em. To a lot of people ,
living in a big city with petty criminal offense is a bad thing, but to me there could be absolutely no
better place to practice some stealing of my own. I mainly do pick pocketing and I dabble in dog-
napping. In the structure of criminals, pickpockets like me are like at the end , one above mail box
burglars and the guys who steal pies from windowsills.
In all seriousness although , the cops tend to be pretty friendly and good to expats like myself. It's a

2. city though, and with city life you receive crime. Nothing is as well extreme, and to give you an idea,
we feel more comfortable here than we do in wa D.C. Panama and nicaragua , has gotten a
embarrassing rap for prostitution and some of that pertains to Panama too. A lot of men explore that
world and though they'll by no means tell their companion , a fair amount be unfaithful on their
spouses. This is kinda like asking a mime who his favorite performer is: you know he has one, but he
will never tell you their own name.
There's a classic saying that goes something like this: give a guy a fish, he or she eats fish for each
day. Give a man an angling pole and he will catch tuna seafood that same day. The actual fishing
down here's really pretty spectacular , rivaling that of mexico. We have what is regarded as "the best
fishing lodge in the world" down within the Darien jungle. We also have what I consider to be the best
shortcut within the world--the Panama Canal--which is a little bit more than the usual tourist trap.
I'm sure there's some way they calculate standard of living and I'm assuming it's on a 100 stage
scale. If that's the case, i would give Panama a 94. I love the fact that I can have a beautiful $100
dinner atop a high-rise (the actual restaurant scene is off the hook) or a $2 mountain of meals at a
café. I love how I can be in meetings in the city in shiny structures with snappy night stands , then 2
hours later on , be sitting in the actual San Blas caribbean archipelago with a 500 year-old tribe of
Kunas. I love the actual infrastructure, which makes it simple to get to secluded seashores and
mountainous areas in a breezy morning. In my opinion, Panamanians take great pleasure in
pretending to be difficult. I love the people although because I think they're unique: hard on the
exterior but caring and sincere in the middle--similar to Junior mint candies.
If you're scanning this , then you've probably used the time to read the whole article which I applaud
you on. I would recommend, however , that you do something more productive with your time : go to
night college or something. Oh, and when its your birthday celebration today, happy birthday
celebration.
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