Talkingtoyour childrengrades

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Talkingtoyour childrengrades

  1. 2. <ul><li>We just finished the end of the 1 st quarter (October 8 th ) </li></ul><ul><li>Your child does not receive a formal assessment at this time </li></ul><ul><li>However, Parent-Teacher Conferences are on Oct. 18 th and 19 th </li></ul><ul><li>The opportunity to discuss “grades” with your child is definitely here (if you haven’t already done so). </li></ul>
  2. 3. <ul><li>Do I need to discuss grades with my child? </li></ul><ul><li>How should I begin the discussion? </li></ul><ul><li>What should I say about that “F”? </li></ul><ul><li>How should I complement him/her? </li></ul><ul><li>Is “Good Job!” saying enough? </li></ul>
  3. 4. <ul><li>There are two different report cards at your table (and on the screen in a moment) </li></ul><ul><li>Take a look at the report cards and reflect on how you might discuss grades with these students if they were your children </li></ul><ul><li>Discuss with you’re group your ideas and thoughts. Encourage participation from all members of your group </li></ul><ul><li>How do you feel about discussing grades with your child(ren) </li></ul><ul><li>How would you approach these students if either of them were your child? </li></ul><ul><li>How would you feel/act? </li></ul><ul><li>What would you say? </li></ul><ul><li>What wouldn’t you say? </li></ul><ul><li>Share your thoughts/ideas </li></ul>
  4. 10. <ul><li>Many parents love to praise their children </li></ul><ul><li>According to a study by Columbia University, 85% of American parents think it is important to tell their child they are smart. </li></ul><ul><li>“ What a clever girl!” “Good job!” “You’re so smart” becomes almost habitual for some </li></ul><ul><li>The presumption is that if a child believes he/she is smart (having been told repeatedly), he won’t be intimidated by new academic challenges </li></ul>
  5. 11. <ul><li>However, a growing body of research and a new study from the New York City public school system strongly suggests it might be the other way around. </li></ul><ul><li>Giving the kids the label of “smart” does not prevent them from underperforming. It might actually be causing it </li></ul>
  6. 13. <ul><li>Professor and social psychologist at Stanford University </li></ul><ul><li>Has studied the effect of praise on students for 10 years </li></ul><ul><li>In particular…her research with 5 th graders </li></ul>
  7. 14. <ul><li>Easy Test given– a single line of praise – either praised for intelligence or effort </li></ul><ul><li>Then given a choice (a more difficult test or a test like the first one) </li></ul><ul><li>Can you predict what they found out? </li></ul>
  8. 15. <ul><li>Of those praised for intelligence , a majority chose the easy test </li></ul><ul><li>Of those praised for effort , 90% chose the more difficult test </li></ul><ul><li>Dweck’s summary – “When we praise children for intelligence, we tell them that this is the name of the game: look smart, don’t risk making mistakes.” </li></ul>
  9. 16. <ul><li>A subsequent round of this study none of the 5 th graders had a choice. </li></ul><ul><li>Everyone was given a very difficult test designed for students 2 years ahead of the group….Everybody failed </li></ul><ul><li>But how did the two groups of students react to the failure? </li></ul>
  10. 17. <ul><li>Those praised for intelligence assumed their failure was evidence that they weren’t really smart at all. There was noticeable strain and discomfort taking the test. </li></ul><ul><li>Those praised for effort felt they simply hadn’t focused hard enough on the test. However they were engaged and enjoyed the challenge of the questions. </li></ul>
  11. 18. <ul><li>Finally, the students were given another test designed to be as easy as the first round. </li></ul><ul><li>Those praised for effort significantly improved on their original score (by about 30%) </li></ul><ul><li>Those praised for intelligence actually did worse overall from their original score (by about 20% </li></ul>
  12. 19. <ul><li>“ Emphasizing effort gives a child a variable they can control. They come to see themselves as in control of their success. “ </li></ul><ul><li>“ Emphasizing natural intelligence takes it out of the child’s control , and provides no good recipe for responding to a failure.” </li></ul><ul><li>Carol Dweck </li></ul>
  13. 21. <ul><li>Scholars from these two schools review over 150 praise studies </li></ul><ul><li>In their analysis they determined that overly praised students become risk adverse and lack perceived autonomy </li></ul><ul><li>They found consistent correlations between a liberal use of praise and students’ “shorter task persistence, more eye checking with their teacher and inflected speech such that answers to questions have the intonation of questions </li></ul>
  14. 22. <ul><li>It has been found that when they go to college, heavily praised students commonly drop out of classes rather than suffer a mediocre grade, and they have a hard time picking major – they’re afraid to commit to something because they’re afraid of not succeeding. </li></ul>
  15. 24. <ul><li>By and large, the literature on praise shows that it can be effective – a positive motivating force </li></ul><ul><li>In one study, University of Notre Dame researchers tested praise efficacy on a losing college hockey team. </li></ul><ul><li>The effect of praise worked and the key to it working was the specificity of the comments used. </li></ul><ul><li>Players were complemented on designated actions they accomplished on the ice </li></ul>
  16. 26. <ul><li>According to Dweck, the biggest mistake parents make is assuming their children aren’t sophisticated enough to see and feel our true intentions when it comes to an offering of praise </li></ul><ul><li>Psychologist Meyer found that teens discount praise (meritless praise) to such an extent in the classroom at least that they believe it is a teacher’s criticism-not praise at all- that really conveys a positive belief in a student’s aptitude </li></ul>
  17. 28. <ul><li>Dr. Florrie Ng studied students in Illinois and Hong Kong </li></ul><ul><li>Students were randomly given a very difficult test – inducing a sense of failure </li></ul><ul><li>Moms were told halfway through the test that their son/daughter had performed below average </li></ul><ul><li>Moms allow to speak with their child for 5 minutes before the 2 nd half of the test </li></ul><ul><li>Their interactions were recorded </li></ul>
  18. 29. <ul><li>Illinois moms carefully avoided making any comments remotely negative…in fact, most moms avoided talking about the test all together </li></ul><ul><li>Hong Kong moms spent the majority of the time discussing the test and its importance </li></ul><ul><li>Both groups of moms expressed their love equally in terms smiles, hugs etc. </li></ul>
  19. 30. <ul><li>Both sets of students eventually went back to write the remainder of the test </li></ul><ul><li>Hong Kong students scores improved 33%, more than twice that of the Americans </li></ul><ul><li>Brushing aside failure, and just focusing on the positive isn’t the norm all over the world. </li></ul>
  20. 32. <ul><li>www.nurtureshock.com </li></ul>
  21. 33. <ul><li>One basic need all children have is to be loved unconditionally (they will still be accepted if they “screw up”) </li></ul><ul><li>Praise/Rewards or Punishment is a short term answer to a more complicated issue (dangling the carrot) </li></ul>
  22. 34. <ul><li>Replace praise/rewards/punishment with the unconditional support that all children need to grow into healthy, caring responsible people </li></ul><ul><li>Kohn has cited a body of research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn a parent’s approval </li></ul>
  23. 36. <ul><li>Try to focus more on the effort put in from your child and the process than the actual grade (or product) </li></ul><ul><li>Be careful as to the degree of the praise you use and monitor the sincerity behind that praise </li></ul><ul><li>Be as specific as you can in terms of praise when you speak with your child </li></ul><ul><li>Try to avoid the habitual and unfocused compliments like “Good Job!” </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t ignore the “bad” stuff…look to help guide your child towards better strategies to learn and improve </li></ul><ul><li>Do you best to provide an environment where your unconditional love is clearly understood by your son/daughter </li></ul>
  24. 38. <ul><li>Any grade is only a snapshot of a student’s performance at one particular point in time </li></ul><ul><li>Grades tell only one story (grades early in the semester/number of assignments/weighting of an assignment) – don’t hover! </li></ul><ul><li>Focus on the positives (encourage them to seek guidance on how to improve) </li></ul><ul><li>Ask for their opinion on their classes and …sincerely value what they say </li></ul><ul><li>Express your confidence in them to improve their academic situation </li></ul>
  25. 39. <ul><li>Not one person at Harvard is perfect </li></ul><ul><li>There are more great colleges and universities than just the top 25 in the rankings. This gets overlooked in Asia because there are typically only a few “great” universities in Asian countries </li></ul><ul><li>Hard Work = Success…period. </li></ul>
  26. 42. What should I ask my child’s teacher?
  27. 43. <ul><li>What are my child’s strengths/areas to improve on in your class? </li></ul><ul><li>What can my child do to help themselves in class? </li></ul><ul><li>Do they work well with others? </li></ul><ul><li>Are they motivated and actively participate in your class? </li></ul><ul><li>Does my child look like they get enough sleep in your class? </li></ul><ul><li>Do they ever attend tutorials for your subject? </li></ul><ul><li>Could my child potentially take this subject at the IB level? </li></ul>

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