The document provides an analogy comparing internet companies and platforms to children of different ages. It describes major platforms like Facebook as 7-year-olds and newer ones like Instagram as infants. It argues we should think of these entities as children that are still growing rather than mature businesses. It suggests we act as understanding parents rather than overzealous step-parents by letting the children grow at their own pace instead of forcing them to mature too quickly. The document concludes that the internet remains young and imaginative unlike the middle-aged men who envisioned futures of jetpacks and moon bases that never materialized.

1. The truth about
the Internet
Marcus Brown.
Head of Social Media at Booming

2. PROLOGUE
Web War I and the
Nuclear Winter
I’m old. Properly old. I survived the dot.com crash of the 1990’s.
I’m a veteran of Web War One. I’m your granddad telling you
what is was like back then. It was grim. When the bubble burst
and companies burnt their way through millions of dollars,
everything and everyone around the internet fell into some sort
strange slumber. It was like a nuclear winter. The new economy
was dead. Everyone was waiting for a messiah.

3. PART ONE
The children of
the future.
The messiah came. Actually, lots of them
came and they were all bright and shiny.
Everybody woke up again. The skies
cleared, all was forgotten and we could all
start to worship again.

4. What do we see?
So if we look at the sparkling “new” web, what do we see?
Have we learned from the mistakes of Web War One? Does it really
look and feel different now?

5. What yousee
What you see.
AWESOME
Well, it still looks awesome. In fact, it looks a little bit more
awesome than it did back in the day. Look at all of these groovy
logos. We can even put these logos into infographics and
everything.

6. What you see
$ 50 Billion
What you see.
Well, nothing’s really changed here either. Still a lot of money
around. In fact, there’s even more money around these days.
The offices are bigger, so big that millionaire hipsters can ride
around them on scooters.

7. What you see
What you see.
Unicorns This is new, though. We never had
singing unicorns back in the 1990’s but
I suppose that’s progress. Yes, it must
be progress.

8. This hasn’t changed a bit. Every bright,
new thing is immediately seen as a mature
business. A couple of weeks after
something has been launched we behave
What you see
What you see. as if it has been around for years.
Mature Business

9. What we
should be seeing
is children

10. MySpace
8 years old
myspace Myspace is an eight year old
child who was once massively
popular. Now nobody really
wants to play with her
anymore. Numerous fairy
godparents have tried to
cheer her up, sadly to no
avail.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9493850@N08/4237028244/

11. Twitter is a cheeky five
Twitter
5 years old
year old child that, quite
frankly, won’t shut up.
He is slightly annoying
and hyperactive. Sadly,
no one really knows
what to do with him,
least of all his parents.
twitter
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jilbean3/5522741049/

12. 8 years old
xing XING is an eight year
old foreign exchange
student from Germany.
People consider him a
dull child because he
finds socializing difficult.
Those who make an
effort with him discover
that he is, indeed, a
really dull child.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jilbean3/5522741049/

13. Facebook
7 years old
facebook The seven year old
Facebook is a child
who, for some bizarre
reason, is ridiculously
popular. Even though
he is obnoxious, steals
photos out of your
wallet and tells the
teacher where you’re
currently hiding, people
seem to love him. How
odd.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/caitees_photography/3103326811/

14. At only one year old the
1 year old
little baby groupon has
managed to amass an
awful lot of sweeties. It
would appear that, sadly,
those sweeties don’t
belong to him. That
groupon doesn’t stop the grown-
ups passing him around
and commenting on how
cute he is.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/dabergs/4908779530/

15. 2 years old
foursquare The two year old
foursquare knows
exactly what she wants
to be when she grows
up. At least she did two
minutes ago. No, she’s
changed her mind
again. No and again.
Oh, now she’s sulking
because nobody wants
to play with her
anymore.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/dabergs/4908779530/

16. YouTube
6 years old
Everybody loves the six youtube
year old YouTube.
Everybody, including
the six year old herself.
The thing is, everybody
has seemed to have
forgotten that she’s only
six, including the six
year old herself.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/emerycophoto/3423601630/

17. 6 months old
This cheeky little chap instagram
is a mere 6 months old
but boy, has he got
what it takes to go really
far. At least that’s what
his uncle and aunts
think.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/sgilsdorf/2422177814/

18. 2 weeks old
The two week old google+
google+ doesn’t really
have a future – he is the
future, at least that’s
what his godparents
think. He’s got 10
million godparents. How
about that?

20. So this is our future
?

21. PART TWO
We are the
parents of
the future.

22. […]recognizing that the child,
for the full and harmonious
development of his or her
personality, should grow up
in a family environment, in
an atmosphere of happiness,
If we start to think of
love and understanding […] these bright new shiny
things not in terms of
mature businesses but
UN Convention of the rights of the child for what (in age at
least), they really are –
children – then maybe
they should have the
same rights.

23. “Accept the children with
reverence, educate them with love,
send them forth in freedom.”
Rudolf Steiner
That U.N. thing
reminded me of good
old Mr. Steiner.

24. So what we (that’s you
and me) should really
be like, are hippies. We
should be like hippie
Mums and Dads.
mum
Google +

25. Evil Step Mother.
But hippie Mums and Dads we are not. We’re over zealous step-parents.
We’ve read books on parenting and we have high hopes for our children.
They’re going to go far. Really far and woe betide them if they don’t.

26. Projection
Instead of letting these
“children of the Internet”
get on with growing up
in the time it takes to
grow and mature, we
force them into doing
things they’re not ready
to do.

27. And when it
all goes
wrong.
And when it all
goes wrong we turn
our backs, disown
them and giggle at
their misfortune.

28. PART THREE
Children of the
watch

29. our present
perverts their
future

30. My vision of the
future in 1979
When I was eight
my vision of the
future was living on
a moon base. We
were going to get
spaceships and
everything.

31. My vision of the future in 1979
I thought, back
then, that in the
future we would
have cool suits and
great typography.
But we didn’t get
any of this.

32. What I got was
nothing but a
bloody search
engine.
And that pisses me
off.

33. Middle Aged Future
The future that we are seeing described to us now is nothing more than the lost
future of a bunch of middle aged men who didn’t get their jet packs, spaceships or
moon bases (not to mention the cool suits and great typography).

34. So the things we’re
seeing now are
merely extensions
of a future lost.

35. 2 short paths

36. We can either
mourn a future that
never came and
squeeze it into
everything we do.

37. Or we can get down
on the floor and
play with it. We can
try to truly
understand what it
is in order to come
up with a future that
is try to its context.

38. The truth about
the Internet
Because the truth about the Internet is that it is the Peter Pan of the
media world. It, in stark contrast to us, never ever gets old.

39. Thank You.
This was originally presented as part of LHBS’ “Uncomfortable Talks”
series in Vienna.