Chapter 1

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Chapter 1

  1. 1. The An Apocalypse Challenge VonNuke Family Chapter 1: Misery Ahoy!
  2. 2. “To boolprop or not to boolprop … that is the question” Oh, shut it you! Hello and welcome back to the VonNuke family – where we play the Apocalypse in a dysfunctional manner for no reason at all! In the last chapter, 'The Pilot', our sexy founder, Chippeth 'G' VonNuke, graduated college having eaten 200 Grilled Cheese Sandwiches, gotten 20 Best Friends, maxed 7 skills and had made over £100,000. So how many LTWs is that?
  3. 3. Ahhh, it's great being rich. Fresh from the beginning, Yeah, a fully built house at the beginning. Architecture has nothing on me – I even have wallpaper inside! All CC is Apoca-Compliant, of course.
  4. 4. And here are the four needed stilts. See them all standing in a row, Big ones, small ones, some as big as 'yer head, Give 'em a twist, a flick of the wrist, that's what the Showman said!
  5. 5. The kitchen! Very … apocalyptic, isn't it? Agree, or I'll drop a nuke on YOUR town!
  6. 6. So, here begins Mein Generic Job Hunt! So, Chip, what is there today? “Show Business, Paranormal and Artist, though I can only take Show Business.” Eh, we can wait.
  7. 7. And so, Chip starts righting his first novel. “Book of Boom, by Chippeth VonNuke. Chapter one, CAS and Beyond!” Yes, so interesting. Methinks I'll just hit '3' now...
  8. 8. ZOMG DOCTOR PEPPER! I have an addiction to this drink! <3333 He has nice clothes though, right? Though he came home in his formal outfit...
  9. 9. I want to thank Fanseelamb for this wonderful download. :D
  10. 10. “Yo ugly townie!” “Hey sexy graduate!”
  11. 11. His Outerwear. I have a mod which makes other Maxis outfits into Outerwear, so I have a good variety. Not to bad, really...
  12. 12. Although his everyday … Oh
  13. 13. Although his everyday … Holy pile of
  14. 14. Although his everyday … poo
  15. 15. “Daydreaming about the mailboy increases my fun and social, G.” Errr, TMI.
  16. 16. And so begins the Medical restriction. Yaaaay! Thankfully, Chippeth has full neat points. A few washes and he is cleaner than a clean thing in a very clean area.
  17. 17. Hungry much? “I'm gonna eat one and put the rest on the roof for later. Waste not, want not G!”
  18. 18. Another day, another newspaper. What is it today? “Somebody wants a Scatmaster for the Natur-” Presses 'Take Job' button “Don't I get a say in this?”
  19. 19. And so, his first day in the wonderful world of Scatmastery begins. Enjoy picking your way through piles of crap!
  20. 20. Promotion? “No, to spite the fact that I'm Permaplat, got 21 friends and maxed skills.” And a downtownie followed you home. “That too.”
  21. 21. SQUEEEEEEE! First pet in my game, EVAR. Awww, I'm a huge animal lover!
  22. 22. Promotion? “Yes. And DownTownie got hit by the car.” Things just keep on looking up and up!
  23. 23. “Say, want to bump my friend count to 22?” “Sure, I'll just let these Romance Sim Wants roll, baby!” Eh, I've played him before.
  24. 24. Nice choice of Pjs! “Thanks, I thought the same, dawg.”
  25. 25. Well, that looks healthy. Moving on...
  26. 26. “If an insane simmer ever asks you to attend University for him, don't. Okay?” “Hmmm, I see a plumbob....”
  27. 27. Bruty-face thinks I'm ugly. I'm so offended.
  28. 28. And another uneventful night passes by. Enjoying your meal? “BarfVomitChuckUp!”
  29. 29. MOAR promotion? “You bet, I'm now a fully-fledged Soil Identifier!” So is that DownTownie you always bring home. “Ralph?” Yeah, him.
  30. 30. And now fastforwarding to the next day, 'cause nobody wants to see a billion pictures of a pirate fixing a sink. Hmm, that actually sounds like an interesting scenario. Anyway, he's now a Rogue Botanist. Well, methinks he is, anyway.
  31. 31. Umm, Chip? “Yeah, G?” A zombie has got in. He wants to offer you membership to a hobby club. In an Apocalypse. “Well, he's a real ass.”
  32. 32. “G, I'm home?” You flew from the sky? What happened?! Tell me!
  33. 33. “Well, today me and Ralph got a promotion to Ecological Guru!” Chance Card? “Yeah. So we were flying through a barren wasteland, as I am wont to do, and e heard a bark...”
  34. 34. “Dawg, that dog is C to the U to the T to the E” “I dunno, Chip. I don't like dogs.” “Uhh, why?” “Well, let's just say that puppies are the reasons this fig leaf is so flat.
  35. 35. “Your loss. I think he's trying to tell us something!” “Yes, that or he's hungry.”
  36. 36. “Ralph, he wants to show us something!” “How do you know?” “We used to be Animal Linguists! Don't you know nothing?”
  37. 37. “I've got a bad feeling about this”
  38. 38. “And so all three of us ran, and ran, and ran, until...!”
  39. 39. “Oh...!”
  40. 40. “My...!”
  41. 41. “WOOF...!” “Yeah, that dog was pretty damn adorable.”
  42. 42. “The dog had lead us to a green field, with trees and shrubs and grass!” Oh my!
  43. 43. “Inside were such sexy plants that I almost died of happiness.”
  44. 44. “Even the dog was impressed! It was as if he knew just how extraordinary this place was.”
  45. 45. “And resting on a table which completely ignored Life of Crime rules was a bouquet of roses. ”
  46. 46. “I wonder if I can use these plants to find a formula to make the area lush again!” “Whatever, Chip. I'm bored. Laters.”
  47. 47. “Ralph came to his senses, though, when he say how complete it made me feel to hold such wonderful plants again.”
  48. 48. “So I quickly put these plants into a machine which just happened to be sitting in the middle of the field, and it started to rain chemicals which sunk into the ground. I had made the earth in the region fertile again.”
  49. 49. “I only hope it works...”
  50. 50. So you lifted the Natural Science restrictions then? “Pretty much.” Well, why didn't you just say so!?
  51. 51. And it's Monday, so you'll only have to wait a day for Tyson to move in! “Shush, I'm befriending a dog.” So, now, we can plant anything we want, and use ground colouring. And Chef Salads, which will ease the Culinary restrictions a little bit.
  52. 52. “Fetch!”
  53. 53. Meanwhile. Let's fix up the third floor to prepare for Tyson's arrival, eh? Breaking those sinks? “With pleasure, G.”
  54. 54. Meanwhile. Let's fix up the third floor to prepare for Tyson's arrival, eh? Breaking those sinks? Hmmm, what could this new wall possible mean?
  55. 55. So, Tuseday quickly arrives. By golly, speed 3 sure is fast! “Oi, Scientist guy, get yo' ass over here now!”
  56. 56. I'd like to sing a song for the soon-to-be-newlyweds. Just let it grow more and more each day. It's like I married my best friend, ~
  57. 57. But in a totally manly way, ~
  58. 58. Let's go!, ~
  59. 59. It's guy love, ~
  60. 60. Between two guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuys! ~ And now a heir(ess) is on its way!
  61. 61. Welcome to the family, Tyson! Now, you just need to get some skill points and we're set! “Umm, no. Let's get this straight – I will relax and gnore you, and you'll stay out my way. I only married for the cash, now #@$$ off before I @~#[£$%^& you up!” I don't like him.
  62. 62. Anyway, his stats: Family Sim Marry off 6 Children Cancer: 5 Neat 5 Playful 5 Active 4 Outgoing 6 Nice
  63. 63. And this is why Chippeth is a much cooler Sim than Tyson. I love the way he looks so smug in this picture. There's a good boy.
  64. 64. Although, I could do without the complaining. “I'm sorry, G. These neat points make me angry when the environment is low.”
  65. 65. So, Tyson, would you mind not wasting our rations and go skill. 'Cause I'm kind of relying on you... “Tough /?~@. I'm not doing it and you cant #@~3$ make me!” Oooh, temper temper. We'll see about that!
  66. 66. “No, I'm not going to clean the ?!#%-” Oh shut up and do as I say. And try and spongebath – you're sloppy enough. “No, that'd make your life happy.”
  67. 67. Just a quick house update. Notice the dip in the third floor – that'll be very useful. It was annoying to build though, with architecture in place.
  68. 68. NEWS AT 10: Top Secret Researchers work in Military Uniform! And now the weather...
  69. 69. “Well, G, I believe the clouds show no sign of clearing up, yet I enjoy the adventure of making my way through the radiation alive.” Hehe, I love the way Ecological Gurus go to work.
  70. 70. Although it must be painful when you start flying under the house. Good job a heir is already on the way!
  71. 71. “Woohoo! I never got a promotion! All my needs are Red! My aspiration is Red! And I need skill points! I am king, nobody will ever force me into stuff!” If only I had boolprop switched on!
  72. 72. “Woohoo! I never got a promotion! All my needs are Red! My aspiration is Red! And I need skill points! I am king, nobody will ever force me into stuff!” If only I had boolprop switched on!
  73. 73. “Ahhh, mopping up would be a waste of my time. No if you don't mind, I'm going to clog the toilet, then complain about the environment score.” And he did. I'm really starting to loathe this sim.
  74. 74. ...You're skilling? “Ummm … no?” Okie, let's look at the 'ole want panel... Have 10 babies, have a grandchild, buy a toy oven, max logic? Gr, Family Sims! Max Logic? “Oh look! It just rolled away! Yay Oceanography!”
  75. 75. Now HERE'S a good sim, breaking a sink like I told him too. Y'know, I hate that hubby of yours. “I have a hubby? Hmmm, I wonder why he lived here.” Ahh, why we love Knowledge Sims. Nothing gets past them. ;)
  76. 76. I know you want it, so I'll just slip it in here. Pfft, pervs. Staring at my perfect ass. You should be ASHAMED.
  77. 77. “Ooer. That's some weird stuff, dawg.” Wow, your fetus is getting cut in half. Apoca-bortion?
  78. 78. “So, Ralph, isn't it amazing that, even in a crisis, this superficial excuse for a writer still manages to use Custom Content?”
  79. 79. “Tyson? That's my best friend you're talking about!” Whey! Go Ralph!
  80. 80. “I'm supposed to be in love with him! But that doesn't change the fact that he is a #@~”£$ %^&*<>?:@~{}soup*&^%$£”£%$^!%%^%$&^(^&%*” Now that's just rude!
  81. 81. “So, did you go to University?” Don't change the subject! Ugh, Sims!
  82. 82. Final sink is broken. And Chip displays his neat points by mopping! Bless him.
  83. 83. Awww, kitty! They are less awesome than dogs, but still cute! <33 Pets! Though I hope that initial reaction doesn't wear off...
  84. 84. Well, I suppose the least the cat could have done was smile. Sheesh, manners of the youth today...
  85. 85. Hehehehehehehe I love watching this Sim SUFFER! Now skill, dammit!
  86. 86. Ahhh, finally finished the novel. And got ZOMG ASPIRATIONS! Ahhh, the contrast between Hubby and Groom.
  87. 87. “My novel was biblical, G. It's sold so many copies!” Stop getting more and more awesome!
  88. 88. Somebody delivering me something. Without Miltary unlocked. Or Business. Or Law Enforcement. Or even Entertainment. What is this world coming too?
  89. 89. “I'm getting fat, G!” Nah, you're just preggers. “Oh. In that case, can I have a bush?”
  90. 90. Eh, we'll splurge through our £100123.
  91. 91. Hehe, food poisoning! Suffer, SUFFER I SAY! And I'll just make you eat more and more and more... “£%&$^£&$£*(*%%73(*%&£%!££%&$*^£%£^$ and furthermore &*%!”£$%^&*())(*&*&^%$£””! £$%$%.” :D
  92. 92. “Uhhh, G? I feel something in my body … moving.” Baby?
  93. 93. “BABY! BABY!”
  94. 94. And here is where I will leave you. Trust me, if I carried on any longer, it would have been twice as long. I have all the pictures though, so expect the next chapter to be out very, very soon. Hasta lavista, you sexy readers! ;)

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