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3 big fat lies that deserve to dieDocument Transcript
Source: www.FatLossProducts.org/Articles/Article/2/3522www.FatLossProducts.org3 Big Fat Lies that Deserve to DieBig Fat Lie 1: Your personality is formed and unchangeable by age 5 or 6Somehow we have accepted the idea that we are complete by age 5 or 6 because some"learned psychologist" said so.Recent research reveals, however, that our neocortex, the front part of our brain that isresponsible for reasoning and decision-making, is still developing well into late adolescence.I can hear the parents of teens saying "Well, duh!"If you pause to think about this notion, it really makes little sense, for at least two reasons:1) It implies that people cannot change, and my 25 years of working with people makes meconclude just the opposite it true.Although just about every phase of my work life involves talking with people, I am basically ashy person. In high school and college there was a guy in our church who was very friendlyto everyone, and just about everywhere we went, he knew someone. Because I admired this,I watched and modeled some of his behavior because my shyness was something I verymuch wanted to change.2) If you are 40 years old and everything was formed and complete by age 5, then thisimplies that you have wasted the last 35 years. I doubt that to be trueBig Fat Lie 2: Time heals all wounds.We have all heard this one many times. Sounds good, doesnt it?The problem is that time does not heal all wounds.The reality is this: all time does is pass.Its what we do while time is passing that makes the difference.Ive worked with people that have had huge tragedies in their lives, and because of the waythey handled it, were doing fairly well relatively soon.Ive also worked with people who have had misfortune in their lives who talk about it as if itwere last week when, in fact, it occurred 15 years ago.They have kept it alive and recent for them.Its what we do while time passes that makes the difference.Big Fat Lie 3: The first cut is the deepestFrom Rod Stewart to Sheryl Crow, "the first cut is the deepest" has become an acceptedmyth about relationships.The first breakup is supposed to be the worst and most difficult. "Isnt this supposed to hurtmore?" Ive even had teens and adults say, as if there were doing something wrong with notbeing broken-hearted enough.The reality is that the deepest cut, or most hurt, comes in the relationships where you havecared, loved and given the most.The difficult task is to recover enough to, in the words of the song, "try to love again."Its an important thing to accomplish, otherwise you give the other person way too muchpower over you.Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great
relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich yourrelationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.